Hiiii!  I wrote this story because omg, Riku/Sora, KAWWAAIII!  Any flames will be used to fuel the oil fires of Iraq.  And do YOU want to be a terrorist?  :(  Enjoi!

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Riku ran a finger through his silver hair as he watched the sunset. From that vantage point he could see the whole island…but there was really only one place he wanted to see. Across the beach and up towards the trees, two open windows showed him the view of a lifetime. To the left, a young Kairi sat reading a book, clad only in socks as she laid in her hammock. Like all self-respecting potential villains, he shivered at the sight.

Instead, he turned his gaze to the window on the right, where he saw the gallant young Sora, undressing from his swim wear. Seeing as how they were on an island, there wasn't very much to do, other then swim. Riku used to swim, a lot, before he realized what a stunning young lad that Sora was. So stunning, in fact, it made it embarrassing to swim with him.

So instead, he watched from his vantage point, hoping to grasp one more little peek before the…-GAH. Before the damn window shut again. Oh well, Riku thought to himself, maybe some day I'll come clean with Sora, about how I'm in love with him even though someday I'm going to betray his trust and attempt to kill him. Ahh, sweet, sweet love. He then promptly fell asleep, longing for his rival.

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"C'mon, Riku! The water's great!"

Riku looked at the source of the voice and cringed as he saw Kairi walking up to him. She had stripped down to her swimsuit and was splashing about in the water. The sight of a woman in a swimsuit was a horribly thing to Riku, because he couldn't possibly get it out of his mind to long for Sora's sweet love tickling him in places unimaginable.

"Yoo-hoo! Riku!"

Riku awoke from his trance and didn't stare directly at the girl. "Is Sora around?"

Kairi moved closer to him. "Nope…just you and me."

Riku jumped in reflex as she extended her hand to his shoulder. She in turn jumped back, frightened.

"What's the matter, Riku?"

Riku's finger quivered as he pointed at her. "You…you're a girl! I can't be touched by a girl! It's not right! Not right, I say!"

Kairi looked at him confused. "I don't-"

Riku backed away from her slowly. "BACK! STAY BACK!!!"

Kairi raised an eyebrow at him. "You're odd, Riku." She then ran off into the water, blissfully dreaming of men.

You're not the only one, Kairi… It was destined for us to be together, me and Sora. I can't really explain it…in fact, I can't explain it at all. The whole fucking thing doesn't make sense…it's almost like it shouldn't have happened! As if we're not meant to be together…but yet we are! So it has to be!

"Hi guys! Whatcha doin?"

Riku gasped as he heard Sora approach from behind him. Kairi heard it too and ran up to Sora, smiling.

"We were just playing who could be the most confused person on this island! Apparently, Riku is it!"

Riku glared at Kairi. "Don't butt into things you don't understand!"

"I don't understand what I'm not supposed to understand!" Kairi shot back.

"Exactly! You don't even understand what you're not supposed to understand, so how could you possibly understand what I want you to understand?"

Kairi and Sora both stood staring at him. Riku just sighed and turned. "Just don't understand…"

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Riku once again sat watching the sunset, only turning to attempt to catch a glimpse at his hopeful lover. The window was empty…Sora had to be off around the island somewhere. He glanced at the window next to him and saw Kairi doing jumping jacks, dressed in slippers. Riku turned quickly. Must that damn girl do everything naked?

"Hi."

Riku turned at the noise and noticed Sora behind him.

"Hey."

"Umm…I needed to ask you something, Riku."

Riku's heart began to pound. "Oh?"

Sora paced a little. "Well, it's kind of personal…can you keep this between us?"

Riku's warmth began to grow. He leaned forward. "U-um, sure. What is it?"

"Well…", Sora smiled, "Kairi told me she loved me."

A cold wind rushed over Riku. "…oh?"

"And I told her I love her too."

A dark cloud swooped over the silver-haired teen. "Izzat right."

"My only question is," Sora asked, "is it customary to get married first? Because normally on islands like these people just go at it…it doesn't even matter what gender! Sometimes I've heard of islands that have women on it, but still the men rub against each other like lovebirds! Isn't that something?"

Riku stood and walked away from Sora, mumbling. That's certainly something, alright.

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Riku stood at the edge of the hill and looked down at the island below. Even if he survived the fall, the rocks at the bottom would kill him for sure. He smiled that he even had that going for him.

"Why, oh why, Sora…why!! We were destined to be together! We were men! On an island! With…holes for entrances! And you were cute! So cute…! We were destined for each other!!"

It was then that Riku flung himself from the hill, and screamed as each bump broke another bone. By the time he reached bottom, he was dead.

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Sora and Kairi stopped for a minute, listening.

"Did you hear something, Sora?" Kairi asked.

"…Nah." They smiled and kissed as they resumed their normal sexual relations.

~fin