Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or the characters in them; I just like to write stories about them.

Wednesday, March 7th. It's been a week since I've confessed my hidden desires to my fiancé. Although we've been together this long, saying something and admitting something that important with so much on the line, felt like I was confessing my love to her all over again. I didn't know how she was going to react. I had no idea how she would take it. Or to put it in better perspective, it's like crossing a creaking, gargantuan suspension bridge together with your eyes closed, not telling the other person where you were.

But, I had the chance and I took it. Since the moment I had set my eyes upon her I had taken it. Since the day we'd first kissed and forever changed our relationship together, it had been mine to hold in my hands.

Last week, I had held in my hands a chance again. That chance to reveal myself to you; with that chance presenting for us, an irreversible way of life, that would prevent us from ever going back to the way past events had been. Taking that risk, Videl, has been the most rewarding option I had taken so far along my path of time. Of course I'd wait with you, Videl. For us to cross that shaky bridge together, never looking back, never looking down; I am just keeping my eyes fixated on the path ahead of me, yearning for that goal in the end. To hear, smell, touch, taste, and feel that goal in my hands, instead of the hazard, is what I've wanted and needed all this time. Of course, whenever we do decide to ultimately join together in this perfectly, holly unimaginable experience, it'll be a risk of it's own. But, a risk I am actually, openly, willing to take.

So, hold my hand and we'll cross that flimsy bridge together, Videl. But, make sure, would you please, to hold onto me tight, for I don't know how long I'll be able to keep my balance and shift my weight steady... before I fall off and lose it all.

I woke up that next morning while the sounds of nature were still at their rest. Where the sunrise was just at its peak, where the dawning of the light had just awoken the twittering birds to start off their morning chatter. The only sounds I could hear then were the even inhalations of my soon-to-be wife, lying next to me. There she was, in all of her beauty, slowly breathing inwards and out; radiating an individual, distinctive quality, a merit, that could make any man cower on his knees for her love, and a quality that only she could posses.

...And, what an intense dream I had about her that night... I'm surprised I'm not even drenched in my own semen from that experience... I was still catching my breath from that night before. I glanced again over her curved body and examined her figure as I breathed in slowly.

There she was... in all of her smooth, glowing skin, and her tangled, sable hair, she was there. I rested my tired head on my hands, positioned myself sideways, and stared. What outlandish turn of events of fate had led me to lie next to this creature; someone with such a wondrous, glorious soul as hers. I could only thank my Lord above for blessing me with such an amazing destiny. I knew I had been exceptionally lucky to find a love like this, a love like hers. Where am I going with all of this? I really don't know myself; these are just thoughts as I stare at my fiancé. (I swear I'm going to find another name for that.)

Never intent on waking her, I dared not placed a hand upon the girl; although I did admit, she had looked incredibly tempting... "Videl..." I quietly said, "...Videl...?" my voice rose a little, checking to see if she was still swept away in her dream world; and of course, nevertheless, she was.

From her beautiful face, my eyes then began to travel across her weary figure, over certain portions of her body, as I moved in a little closer... I could only imagine what she had been hiding from me underneath those sheets of cloth. I didn't know how Videl thought I could stop myself from thinking of her like this. If not sexually, I'd always thought of her in sensuous ways. She began to shift her body slightly, to get in a more comfortable position... as I got even closer. Exquisite scents began to enter my nostrils as I inhaled deeper, held it, exhaled... and inhaled again. My mouth unconsciously crept agape as I continued to stare... What an extravagant site it was... and this experience... imagining those soft lips kissing me... those lips that would send my heart in a whirlwind of torridness . ...Watching her breasts as they slowly moved up and down associating with her steady breathing; the sections of bare skin displayed from out of the covers; I felt the heat from her thighs as they occasionally skimmed across my own legs... And, I also felt something else... That damn demon inching its way inside of my thoughts again. But, the best thing I could do... the only thing I could do... was to set it free.

But, how could I... without hurting my Videl...?

The frigid winter wind crept into the window, forcing an icy breeze of winter air into the room; that made my soon-to-be shiver in her sleep...she moved around a little and then woke up, with her eyes still held shut. "Gohan..." she groaned, "... close that window..."

"Videl, it is closed... it just has a crack..." I responded, grinning a little, although I did notice some feelings of chagrin to my voice, relating to the house's much needed repairs. She then flitted her eyes open, and looked at me. Maybe she was mad at me for not caring for the cracked window, I thought at first... but she was looking to me for a different reason. Our faces were now only about 6 inches apart from each other, as she held out her gazing on my many semblances.

"Son Gohan... " she spoke, "What are you hiding from me this time..." it sounded more like a statement than a question. I felt my heart getting nervous and sink into my chest again at that moment; I was surprised she knew I was thinking about her...

"A-aie... I was..."I shuddered horribly, "...It's not that important, Videl," She developed a dissatisfied look upon her face as her half-grin faded away. But, that's all I could tell her then. " I have to get ready for work.."... I'd tell her later.
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My job for college was at Bulma's Capsule Corp. building where I worked as an assistant chemical engineer from 5-9; but since we had a week off from school, I labored there for extra hours, beginning at 7:00 in the morning. Videl said that she'd wanted to meet up with me that afternoon for lunch. Of course I said yes; maybe my conscience would allow me to tell her by then.

So, I just sat there in my chair, occasionally filing papers every so often, letting my mind wander off to more finer envisions in the process. But, my mind was clouded that day by that captivating woman that I had so long desired to claim as my own. Giving her a round piece of metal weren't enough to feel as if I were hers and she was mine; some people just get married to feel that sort of foundation... but not me. I just wanted to spend the rest of my mortal life with her, I just wanted her to know that I loved her unconditionally no matter what. Not that getting married would allow me to feel as if her heart had finally belonged to me; not that getting married would convince my soul that she'd remain faithful to me throughout our life together. You really shouldn't need a sheet of paper to know that... we could've never gotten engaged and still feel as if we subsisted in one spirit.

But, it's just the fact that I can't feel like she's completely mine yet, which aggravates my heart. That I have to wait another damned year until we could finally, truly, wholly feel like we'd belonged to one another. I had discovered my purpose in life... and that purpose was to meet this exuberant lady, this Videl, and ultimately be allowed to conjoin our hearts together. But, I can't even fulfill my meaning in life... I can't even fully express my passions and feelings for this woman... not until another year. A year full of heartache enclosures and denials, physical appetites and emotional depressions, in addition to strawberry kisses and exotic reveries...

Videl, I want to wait for you so badly... I yearn for our experience to feel special to you... For you to savor every waking moment of me inside your sanctified essence, feeling entirety, whole new emotions and senses you've never thought you'd feel in this lifetime... I'd give you pure ecstasy, Videl. I'd give you everything...

Just one more year...

"Gohan..." I heard a hushed voice call in my ear just then. "...Gohan," it went again and shook my shoulder lightly. I guess I had fallen asleep dreaming of how much I'd wanted my fiancé , and had forgotten all about our lunch date that we scheduled. I hazily lifted my head from the comfort and warmth of my folded arms to see the culprit who'd caused my awakening.

Videl...

"Oh... Videl..." I said, blinking a few times to get the sleep out of me, "Hello, darling..."

"Gohan, are you slaking off during the job?" she asked, smiling, while sitting on my lap, leisurely folding her legs around her knee.

"What are you doing here, Videl...?" I questioned, adjusting the glasses on my face correctly.

She began to laugh discreetly, "Do you know how hard it was to persuade Bulma to let me sneak you out for lunch? She said you were their 'most laborious and profit-making' worker, but here you are napping on the desk," she said as-a-matter-of-factly. I could only agree, and grinned.

"I was just thinking about you," I admitted. She looked downwards at me.

"So, when you start to think of me, you fall asleep?" she inquired, jokingly.

I shared my laughter with her a bit, "I didn't mean it like that..." I conveyed. "I mean..." Then, a more somber countenance shadowed over my voice as I looked up to her. "... I was thinking of you..." I said in a sort of heavy tone. I circled my fingers around the front of her tummy as I felt her suddenly suck in the air that capacitated her lungs. She stared at me with such wonder and astonishment, and a hint of uncertainty, like she didn't know what to do next, or where to go next. But, she knew what I meant... Of course she knew what I meant; she had to have known. I was talking about her like this, though, I couldn't retort in any kind of comment towards that myself... I didn't know what to say next either... She turned her body around to face me, and just continued gazing in my eyes. " Videl..." I spoke softly. I heard my heart racing inside my chest again, intensifying, heating whatever lustings I had at that moment, by 120.

"Gohan..." she said back at me, "... Come on, we'll talk about this at lunch..." she suggested, "...Okay...?"

With my eyes half-closed, I looked at her through such compassion... such yearning, that it was such an arduous task just to remove my arms from around her waist. I kept them there for a moment, hesitating, never wanted to let go, until I finally convinced myself that this was the best way. This is what she wanted...

So... I set her free.
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We had about 5 ½ hours left to enjoy our company together until I had to get back to work that evening. But, this was our afternoon, it belonged to us. So, we withdrew to the comfort of our home and had lunch in the sunroom that led to the patio outside. Here, the abundance and tranquility of nature could be enjoyed and their presence could be enveloped in their true form without the harsh winter weather playing the antagonist. This room where the mood felt so serene and relaxing, that the only thing that could possibly capture my heart more, was if I had Videl by my side...Which I actually did.

And what an amazing thing it was.

We had cleared a place in the room, just for us, on the carpeted floor that would help us to have a more "outdoorish-feeling" for our indoor picnic. It was covered with baby blue blankets and pink flower petals which held the ground for the deliciously selected food decided on top. Crimson seeded cherries and yellow-greenish apples, with simple turkey sandwiches in the center... that contained some extra amount of zing to them; maybe because they were made especial from the heart... from my Videl. Ahh... why did I promise to tell her what I was been thinking about that morning? Although we were trying our best to help each other through this difficult transition, these thoughts had been incredibly taxing on my heart to let it all go. And, to let it all go... to Videl? What was she thinking...?

On, no, I'm doing it again... I'm holding in my feelings for her... I'm locking my aspirations for her in the closet of my heart... which is the problem that I had in the first place dealing with these new emotions... It was not commonplace for me to hide things from Videl, but like I told her before about this ... she made me so nervous. About what she was going to say... about how she would deal with it. But, why should I be...? I know she'll still accept me for who I am. She wouldn't be repulsed by my feelings... Isn't it completely natural to feel this way? She told me herself that she wanted me to tell her anything that had been on my mind... and a week from then, already I am clashing those words.

She laid down and relaxed herself on the blankets, covering her shoulders with it. The heat in our home had just began working again after a selfish break it took the past 3 days.

"...Videl, are you that cold...?" I asked her, scooting myself over to her position. She shrugged her shoulders slightly and shifted her vision to the sandwiches on the napkins. I saw her small hands begin to shiver as she tried to reach over to grasp one of them. "Aie, I'll get it for you..." I ensured her; they were a little out of her reach. A trace of a smile grazed across her face as a sign of appreciation, but only for a mere second. Her frown returned. I was hoping I hadn't been the cause of this unusual wave of despondency within her... "Videl... what's wrong, honey...?" I finally asked her, nervous than ever. I touched her left cheek lightly with the tips of my fingers, beckoning her, but scared about what the reply might be.

She sat there quietly for a moment without even giving any hint that she'd respond. Until she latterly requested of me..." Gohan..." she spoke, her teeth chattering moderately, "Why don't you want to tell me about what you're thinking?" ...Huh?

"Videl... if you're talking about earlier today..."

"No..." she said, gaining some volume in her voice. "...I'm talking about all of the time!" she suddenly yelled, spilling her soda all over the blankets. What? Where did all this anger come from? It caught me by surprise, and I unawarely held my hand to my heart as I then felt it shatter. "You always keep every kind of thought you have of me in secret! You think you always have to keep it in secret! Why! Do you think I won't accept you for it? Or, didn't you know that I had said 'yes' to your proposal?" she yelled, huffing heavily. Oh my God... she really... was mad at me... what have I done...?

"V-Videl, I-I was just so nervous, because of what you might say about it... because these types of thoughts are sort of new to my brain, and not being able to make love to you, I don't even know how to deal with it sometimes!" I tried to get her to consider.

"And, so you think you're the only fiancé on this Earth who dreams up of these fantasies?" she resumed bellowing at me. "What are you so embarrassed about, Son Gohan! Why can't you tell me?"

My heart began beating out of control as I continued exploding out all of my feelings for her. "Some of these visions I have about you are just so stained... savage...and corrupted, t-that I just don't know how to bring it to you sometimes..."

"Well, hiding it won't solve anything!"

"It's not that important, Videl; could we just drop it; I'll tell you about it later, okay?"

"There you go, trying to get around telling me again! Tell me what you're so afraid of!" She furiously yelled back. "You want me, Son Gohan, but now you're so scared to even talk to me about it! If you want me, let me know. I can help you deal with it!" she tried to reason. She developed a look of hurt in her eyes, trying to stare into mine.

Yes, of course I want you, Videl. That's my whole point! You don't want me to make love to you until we're married, and I'm trying to not think about it; during the periods when I hold you in my arms, during the times when I kiss your lips, and during any other given time in the day, I try my hardest still. But, it's no use. No matter what I do, no matter how much I try to strangle it down, my feelings and arousals for you are still living their lives freely, as viciously as wildfires. ...And as bloodthirsty. It has no direction, you couldn't tell where or what it was going to consume next; all you knew that if someone were to let it come out of control for even just a second, that it would eradicate everything in its path.

I hadn't given Videl an answer to her query all that time. I had just looked down to the floor, thinking of what I should say next. But, she had begun to grow impatient with me. Her look of hurt and compassion were quickly replaced with indignation and frustration. She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then... tromped her way out of the room, dragging the sheets along behind her. I could only stare at her shadow as I saw it disappear around the corner. ...And, closed my eyes, I did, and held my head in my hands.

What had I done...? I had ruined our lunch. I ruined our conversation. Hopefully, I hadn't ruined our relationship...

The doused turkey sandwiches could only continue to soak, adhering from the sidelines.
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