CHAPTER TEN

Inuyasha had been searching for Kagome. Sango, Miroku and Shippo were doing likewise even Keada was and continued to do her part in the search. After careful consideration they all came to the conclusion that it would be better to keep the disappearance of Kagome as quiet as possible. If Naraku and his minions found out they would take it as an opportunity to make their lives even more difficult than it had already become.

But with this decision came repercussions, not spreading the word hindered the group's search greatly. But it was still better to know that they, along with a few others, were the only one's looking for Kagome and not Naraku. If he was the one who had taken her they figured he would have rubbed it in their faces by now, and so the length of time that passed lessened their suspicions that Naraku was her abductor. But with each passing day it only made their hearts heavier.

Inuyasha would go off on his own to look for her and come back every couple of days to see if they had found anything. Miroku and Sango tried to be optimistic in the beginning, reassuring him that she would be found.

"Kagome's too stubborn to give up," was something all of them had thought in the beginning too, but now the optimism and thoughts of their strong willed friend being able to over come anything were beginning to waver. No one really wanted to consider the fact that Kagome might not be alright but it was becoming painfully obvious that the possibility was there.

From the day he lost Kagome, Inuyasha had been searching. He barely got any sleep because she haunted his dreams. He couldn't push her image from his mind even in his dreams:

He would see her smiling, her eyes carefree and happy. She would talk to him but he wouldn't understand her words, so he just listened to the sound flow, lulling him so he felt at peace. Then everything would go silent. He would turn to her in question only to see her sitting on the ground legs splayed out to both sides, shoulders hunched over, her arms the only thing supporting her, her eyes downcast.

He would call out to her but there would be no sound. They were surrounded by a dead silence. He would go to her and reach out to touch her. Then her head would snap up and stare him right in the eyes. Her eyes were dead. He would see his reflection and then something would pass through them, recognition. Then they would come alive, full of fear, pain and loss. Her mouth would open as if she was trying to scream, and for a split second nothing would come. The silence was building. At the end of that split second she would find her voice and cry out in such a state of agony that he was sure his mind would shatter.

That's usually when he would wake up having fallen out of the tree he had been sleeping in, drenched, short of breath and utterly terrified.

He had taken to only sleeping in trees because demons had been coming after the jewel shards and being above ground gave him the advantage, but this particular advantage didn't do much for his personal demons.

Exhausted and desperate to find Kagome his days were beginning to go by in a haze. Following a few hours of sleep he would start looking for Kagome, slaying any demons he came across, and eat, if he remembered. The rest of his time was spent thinking about her or trying not to think about her.

At first he was in a rage, and when demons came after the shards he was grateful, the fighting gave him a way to vent his anger and guilt. But as each day passed without even a trace of her his guilt and rage began to give way to depression. He was in a sorry state. The fighting became mostly repetitive. His skills hadn't lessened he just felt nothing while doing it. 'What do I have to fight for?' He didn't want to admit to himself that his brain even registered such a thought, but it was there, lingering at the back of his mind pushing itself slowly forward, a little bit every day.

Even Sesshomaru could sense his half brother's lack of enthusiasm while fighting him. He stopped the fight.

"I do not wish to fight you in this pathetic state." He raised his chin and scrunched his nose up in disgust. "You are not worth my time at present." He then noticed that the hanyou's group of followers were not with him.

"Have they had enough of you, Inuyasha? I suppose even humans, as pathetic as they are, would get tired of a disgraceful half breed like you."

Inuyasha retaliated of course but Sesshomaru was gone, leaving his half brother frustrated, depressed and with something else to think about.

'If Kagome is truly de…' he wouldn't allow himself to knowingly think that. 'What if I can't find her, what will the others do?' he shook his head trying to clear it then looked at the ground. 'I am a pathetic disgrace.' His thoughts shifted to Kikyou. He had truly loved her but when that love was put to the test 'this is how things turned out.' He smiled sadly. 'With Kikyou we were deceived by Naraku, but this is different. Kagome is gone because I couldn't protect her… my life may belong to Kikyou but my heart belongs to Kagome. I have to prove that to her. She deserves that much.'

The hollow ache his heart had acquired had threatened to engulf him. He had been miserable, but now a single light shone. He wasn't sure how he would reach it, but knew he had to try, no matter what.

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That was my pathetic attempt at making squiggly line separators, which was a helpful hint from my sister who suggested I use them for the passing of time and at the end of the chapter, if I chose to make a comment at the end. I'm very grateful that she helped me out with this chapter because I really needed to fix it up. Although some of her 'helpful hints' were a bit harsh they did help out a lot in the end and I really do appreciate them.

"So thank you good Sir for spending your time to help this poor sap, even though it took up a lot of your computer time and hindered you from going to bed at a descent hour. You are my InuGoddess."

I hope you liked it (because it was a bitch to write) and if any of you have any questions, criticisms or 'helpful hints' don't be afraid to voice them, I can always use some good advice.

*COUGH, COUGH, REVIEW! COUGH*

Excuse me, I'm still sick (sheepish grin).