A/N: According to my dashboard widget, not only is today (July 14) Bastille Day, but it's also the birthday of former president Gerald Ford! Happy birthday, Jerry!
On a more random note: my dad and I went to get dinner, and when we came back, my sister was watching the episode of South Park that Chopper quoted from in the soap opera episode. Hot damn. "Whatever! I do what I want!" Cartman, you slay me.
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"The ratings increased marginally for males aged fifteen to twenty-one, but the execs still weren't satisfied," Uno's assistant explained, handing him the envelope. "Maybe it could have drawn in more if we'd had a bigger budget?"
"Flashy special effects does not a hit make," Uno pointed out, taking it.
"It worked for Lucas."
Uno opened the envelope and pulled out the papers. Once the words were processed in his brain, he quickly stuffed the papers back in, like Pandora trying to slam the lid on her eponymous box. He pulled them out again, read it again, and reacted the same way.
"Sir?"
He pulled them out one more time and stared at them. "I keep thinking that I'm reading it wrong, or that if I try it again it'll say something different."
"Is it... that bad?"
"It is that bad. Where do they come up with this garbage?"
"I thought I heard them say it was inspired by something one of the characters said in the last episode," his assistant said with a shrug.
"Ugh. They seriously cannot sink any lower than this." He sighed heavily, handing her the envelope. "Get it to the writers. If they don't all quit on the spot, maybe we'll get lucky with record low viewership and the execs will be forced to stop beating a dead horse and just cancel the show all together."
"Uh... yes, sir." She left.