Chapter Two: Shadows
James Potter liked to consider himself a man not easily surprised. In fact, this morning, he had woken up at the astonishing early time of 6:34 a.m. by himself, a far cry from his usual time of 7:51 a.m. with Peter dumping water over his head. He had no idea why this morning was so particularly different from the rest, but nonetheless, he went along with it.
The dormitory was dark with a sliver of morning light shining through the high windows and casting smoky shadows into deep crevices. Night greeted Morning in a sigh of lake waves and breaths of new winds. Oh yes, and the consistent chirping of birds that pecked into his mind. He rolled over on his back and folded his arms beneath his head, tousling up his dark hair and stared into the dim canopy of his four-poster bed. It was definitely different not waking up with a girl. There was no blonde (and the occasionally dark but never red – he hated redheads) hair flowing over his arms and no backside spooning into him. Actually, the bed almost felt lonely without them. Almost.
Different, but not in a bad way. Different, in a way that he remembered what it felt like a few years ago to do this every day. It was sort of nice, visiting back old ways before girls. But he knew it wouldn't last long. He had chosen his path, going along the currents of his river. Besides, rivers weren't made to swim upstream in. At least, not for James Potter.
Stretching and yawning, he made his way out of bed and into the bathroom, stopping briefly to pick up a pair of slacks, a tie, and a dress shirt from the floor that didn't have any noticeable stains on them. But this morning, James Potter did indeed surprise himself. This morning, he made a ballet of rinsing out his mouth and putting on his clothes, normal processes – cycles – that he went through every day. All because he didn't want to think again about what would happen if he broke the rotation once and shocked someone. Even his pranks were predictable. Not exactly what each prank would be, but knowing that at least once every week, some Slytherin would be humiliated in front of everyone in the Great Hall and James Potter and his group of friends would look on laughing while some floozy clutched his arm and giggled. Only none of them would ever let the smiles reach their hollow eyes.
Just to make things complete, he actually began searching for that….that thing….what was it called again?
Ah, yes! A hairbrush behind the cupboard and wedged between the back side of the sink and the tiled wall. He ran through the motions, but to his dismay, his hair still stayed the same – jumpy and wild-like and all over the place…a bit like Sirius actually…
As he made his way downstairs into the Common Room, giggling and thumping reached his ears and he wondered if he was the only one that night that didn't get it on with some girl. He stopped on the last few steps and he saw…
Remus….
with Lily Evans….
James was so surprised that he almost choked for a moment, but caught himself just in time. Although, judging by the looks of the situation, the two wouldn't have noticed anything. At least they're not shagging, he reminded himself. No, but what Lily Evans was doing was just about as close to shagging as she was probably going to get. She had smothered herself over one of his best friends. Truth be told, she did have a pillow in her hand and was smacking it repeatedly against Remus, but that was irrelevant.
He cleared his throat and tried to regain his composure. "Oy! Remus, no orgies allowed in the Common Room!"
What happened next, he decided to tell himself, was none of his fault. Lily Evans dropped the pillow like it was made of scalding bricks and straightened up immediately and stepped approximately ten kilometers away from Remus. James decided to ignore the dangerously crimson blush that crawled up from her neck to her cheeks and focused instead on his friend. Remus was also embarrassed, and it registered briefly in James' mind that this was the first time he'd seen Remus blush like that.
A sound like a fish was dying came from his left, and James realized that it was Lily Evans trying to clear her throat. "Well, I suppose it's time for me to go upstairs and brush my teeth. I, uh, guess I'll see you later in Transfiguration, Remus."
And then she turned and ran up the stairs, ignoring Remus' cautious nod.
"So," James began, flopping over the couch, "Lily Evans, eh? I always knew you liked the quiet types Remus, but not silent ones."
And it was scary, but for a moment when Remus' eyes flashed angrily towards him, James felt like Remus had the upper hand. "Don't you dare say anything to her, James. You stay away from her – she doesn't need someone like you in her life." He ran up the stairs, presumably to chase after Evans.
James, for the first time in his life, was left alone in the Gryffindor Common Room. Shrugging it off and trying to look unconcerned, he sat up in the couch and stared at the fire, eerily reminiscent of Evans' hair.
He didn't say to Remus what he really thought, that he's finally happy that Remus has found a girl that pays attention to him and not his two other dark friends. That he thinks Remus needs to relax more but hopes he stays the way he is because James looks up to Remus' quiet and careful personality, the way when he finds a girl, he looks at her like how he looked when he first saw Hogwarts and when he first saw James and Sirius transform, and James wishes that he was like Remus instead of being the predictable one that looks at girls like they're contestants at a beauty pageant. The way when Remus talks to you, he looks you straight in the eyes and you can't help but feel compelled to listen to whatever this serious boy has to say next. The way he could charm the pants off any girl in this school from listening to James and Sirius talk all the time, but never chooses to do so. The way that Remus made James feel – a mix of shame and knowing that he could do better and a sense of determination to change, which James never carried through.
In Muggle Studies, they have been learning about natural disasters in the Muggle world. If you focus on sandbagging the beachhead, James decides, you can ignore the tsunami that's approaching.
Try it any other way, and you'll go crazy.
Peter was sick.
Sick of life.
Sick of living in the shadows all the time, sick of running around doing little favors for everyone, sick of being the dumb one, and especially sick of James and Sirius.
Those two….whatever happened to the Marauders? Four equal friends, bound together for life. Their duty to create havoc and mess around with girls. Peter snorted. It wasn't the Marauders anymore. It was James and Sirius ruling over Remus and Peter. Peter go get the map….Peter go get the invisibility cloak….no, Peter you can't come with us on this one….you're too clumsy, you'll wake up all the Slytherins….
Who made sure everyone got into the Whomping Willow safely? Who visited Remus in the Hospital Wing to bring him notes that he had painstakingly taken during all the classes, even Potions, because he knew that James and Sirius would never do something like that. Who comforted James about Sirius snatching away some girl that he had had his eye on? Who made sure that at least some of Sirius' clothes got into the wash once a week?
Peter. Peter the rat, the disgusting, sniveling tag-along who was only there because they felt sorry for him. Sorry for him. If James and Sirius were going to have late-night gossip sessions like some air headed teenage girls, then they'd better learn to keep their voices down.
Next time, they'd be sorry that they'd ever considered him a nuisance. Yes, next time…he had given everything to them and all they'd done was screw him over. Well, that wouldn't be happening again, would it?
His trembling hands dropped a small vial. Swearing, he bent over and picked it up, cursing at the broken shards that lay among the ruin. Carefully, he gathered a small pinch of white powder and snorted it up his nose. As always, he moaned in relief as it sizzled and burned against the roof of his mouth and his mind. Then there was a white glare of light somewhere and everything faded out.
"Alright, everyone put down their quills and look up!"
Lily dropped her quill and massaged her sore fingers. Taking five pages worth of notes was not an easy feat, but McGonagall made no slack preparing her fifth years for their O.W.L.s.
"As you all know, your O.W.L.s are coming up very soon – yes, I am talking to you too, Mr. Potter, and I need to stress again how important it is that you consider this your utmost priority." She surveyed the classroom, taking in everything with her beady, hawk-like eyes. "To make sure you are ready, I have decided to assign one last project before testing, and –,"she held up her hands, silencing the groans that had started in a wave, "it is for your benefit. You must come up with a presentation on the importance of these exams. I will give you two weeks. And I don't want to hear anything relating to how they are not important – trust me, your grade will reflect that. You will be working in pairs."
This seemed to satisfy a few students, who began twisting around in their seats waving to their friends and mouthing deals.
"Partner?" James turned to Sirius and offered his hand and a predictable smile.
"Why James, I don't know. I was going to work with Snape and revel in his god-like intelligence and looks, but since I've taken pity on you and know that you will most likely not be able to find anyone else willing to stand your annoying personality, I guess I'll just have to go with you."
Remus turned, a wry look on his face and strained to find Peter…
….but he was not here….
….well, that was mighty strange. When was the last time Peter missed class? In fact, Peter had the best record out of all the Marauders of going to class….
Well, now who could he work with as a partner? Unconsciously, his eyes sought out Lily Evans sitting in the front row…perhaps, but wasn't she a little uncomfortable this morning around him? Well, he convinced himself, that was James' doing. She was perfectly fine until the little arrogant pig decided to show up.
Lily groaned silently at the mention of partners. She would much rather do this alone…no one would want to be her partner and with her luck, she'd probably end up with McGonagall assigning her to be partners with some Mudblood-hating Slytherin. She sighed, resigned, and prepared herself to go up to the front desk and ask the professor if she could work alone for just this one project. Suddenly, a gentle hand fell on her shoulder.
She whirled around and bumped her nose into Remus Lupin's sweater-clad chest. "Remus!" she exclaimed, hand flying up to her nose.
Remus chuckled. "I'm sorry, Lily, I really didn't come over here to hurt your nose."
"It's alright Remus."
Both of them paused, not knowing what to say next.
"Er…well, Remus, what exactly are you here for then?" Lily asked, trying to break the ice.
"Oh yes! Um…I was wondering if you already had a partner for the project?..."
Well, that's funny, Lily smiled. As if I would have a partner. Still, at least he was raised with manners. Unlike some certain hooligans she could mention that were currently slapping high fives and pretending to be Snape…
"Well, I was just wondering….if you already have a partner that's fine." Remus started to walk away.
Lily snapped her eyes away from the two boys. "Oh no, Remus, I don't….but I would love to be partners with you."
Remus grinned, one that seemed to spread a trickle of light into his deep eyes.
Lily's brow furrowed. "That is what you came over for, isn't it? Oh, I'm sorry Remus, I assumed that you wanted to be partners with me and came over to ask, but obviously you didn't. Well, I can't really blame you, no one really wants to work with me, I mean, I was just about to ask McGonagall to work by myself…"
Remus jumped. "No Lily, that was exactly what I came over to do…but if you wanted to work on the project by yourself, go ahead."
"No really, I'd love to work with you."
"You sure? I mean, I totally understand it if you want to ask if you wanted to work by yourself."
"No really, I would love to work with you."
"Alright then."
Lily giggled. "This is really stupid…we've just spent two minutes arguing on something we both wanted to do."
"Yeah, it is stupid, isn't it?" Remus brushed some light hair away from his eyes and concentrated on Lily. "Lily, why did you say that no one wanted to work with you?"
"Hmm? I didn't say that, did I? Well, it's true though."
"C'mon, Lily…you're pretty and you're smart. You're already in the minority here."
Lily blushed. "You flatter me, Remus. I'm definitely not pretty….smart I can argue, but that's my only defense."
"Not pretty?" Remus tried to look scandalized but failed and ended up laughing.
Lily chuckled too. "See? Even you don't even agree and you're the one who brought up the subject."
"That's not true; I was just trying to be one of those shampoo opera stars that we were watching in Muggle Studies the other day."
"Shampoo opera stars?" Lily raised an eyebrow. "I think you mean soap opera stars..."
Remus blushed and scratched his neck. "Shampoo, soap – they're both cleaning products. Anyways, back on the subject." He leaned in close and whispered in Lily's ear, taking in the slightly tangerine aroma she spread. "I think your eyes are bloody gorgeous."
Lily giggled and stepped back. "No way."
"Yeah! They're like…emeralds on a sunny day waiting for the queen to own them and pluck them away."
A horrified look crossed Lily's face. "That was slightly….soap opera-ish slash morbid of you, Remus. I mean, the emeralds on a sunny day part – totally one of those cheesy lines from the show, but the part about the queen plucking them away? You sound like my eyes are about to be scooped out from the queen because I committed an act of treason or something."
"Well, they are still very beautiful," Remus added.
Lily blushed and looked into Remus' eyes. "Hey, Mr. Lupin! You're not exactly lacking in the department of eye colors either. I didn't know you had –," she took a step closer and looked up, "violet eyes! Wow, that's amazing!"
Now it was Remus' turn to blush. "Yeah, well….it wasn't so awesome back when I was a kid. Imagine being the only one in your class with violet eyes…a perfect opportunity for seven-year-olds to start teasing."
Lily had to physically restrain her hand from reaching up to brush away a lock of hair that had fallen into his eyes, a deep shade of indigo that drew one in from his otherwise light looks.
"They're absolutely lovely now. You know what? We'll form our own club. We'll call it….PSCEC." People had begun filing out the door now, and Lily bent down to retrieve her books.
Remus snorted. "PSCEC?"
Lily took in a deep breath and linked her arm in Remus' strong one. Remus almost stumbled and a look of surprise crossed his sweet face. "Prefects with Strange Colored Eyes Club, of course."
And, still linking arms and laughing, they walked out of the door and down to lunch, neither one realizing that this was the first time that they had walked out the door with someone else.
Lily happily made her way down to her end of the table, her mind swimming with the conversation she just had. Remus Lupin had just spent half of Transfiguration talking with her! Remus Lupin, the adorable boy who hated peas and double-knotted his shoelaces!
She skipped over to the bench and sat down, grabbing a biscuit and piling her plate with noodles and sauce. Just as she had taken her first sip of pumpkin juice though, someone sat down across from her with enough force to knock the goblet right out of her hands.
Lily groaned as the liquid spread onto her school uniform. Of course something would have to come and ruin this, wouldn't it? Murphy's Law wouldn't allow it otherwise. She grabbed a handful of napkins and began blotting out the stains, praying that she wouldn't have to skip lunch to get changed. In her determination, she had forgotten about the person who interrupted her until they spoke out.
"So, Lily, I saw you talking to Remus today in Transfiguration," came a silky-smooth voice.
Lily looked up cautiously from her skirt and into the cat-like eyes of Marianna. "Yes, well, we were only discussing about what we wanted to do for our project."
Marianna looked at her for a moment. One of her friends spoke up. "You're Remus Lupin's partner?"
Lily nodded her head dumbly. Marianna giggled. "You'll have to excuse Kate for a moment here, darling. You see, she's had her eyes on Lupin for a while now….what is it, three days?" She looked at Kate for guidance and she agreed eagerly. Marianna continued. "You see, Lily…three days is quite a long time to spend over a guy…and, well, being girls, it's only fair that we don't take advantage of the situations we're in and try to sabotage others. You'll be fair, won't you, Lily? Besides," she caught Lily's glance at Remus, "I really hate to break it to you, Lily…but I think Remus also likes Kate. I mean, he was going to be her partner first, but she was already partners with me…and I don't exactly think you're his type, Lily."
Lily shook her head vehemently. "We're not going out."
Marianna patted her head like a dog. "Well, as long as we understand each other, Lily, then we'll be fine. I'll see you in Charms then, Lily? And try to get that rogue charm to me by tomorrow, alright? I've got a date with Mr. Black." She smirked one last time and made her way to the Marauders.
Lily took in a deep breath and stared at her hands, still moving continuously and robotically over her skirt. Sighing, she gathered up her books and tried to disregard the lump growing in her throat and made her way to Gryffindor tower. She had prayed that the stain could be blotted out, but that was just foolish thinking on her part.
Solarism: Thank you so much for helping me with my story. Hope you enjoy your new camera and that Tim doesn't abuse it too badly :)
FallenFlower: Hugs and kisses for inspiring me to post up this chapter! Love your story and have a good time at the concert!
CrEsCeNt Mo0n19Really appreciate the reviews for the Remus!thought shot chapter. I spent quite some time working on it and it's nice to see that you like it.
The ORIGINAL Meathead: Lots of predictions there, young Trelawney:) Thanks for the reviews.
Fairy-Dust 888: You have no idea how big the smile on my face was when I read your reviews. I hope you had a Merry Christmas and thanks for wishing me one.
Also thanks to godswake, chickensoup3, firewalker32, Hello? mary, lils03, Brooke Monroe, and candence and pathos for your very inspiring reviews and helping this lost author feel better about her story!