Wahoo! First episode of Spiral, redubbed in a horrible, mean, mocking, parodiac way!
Please note, I, in no way, shape or form, am trying to bash Suiri no Kizuna; it's just that i LUV torturing my favorite characters/shows/plots/everything. w00t, it's so awesome! It shouldn't be too hard for fans of Spiral to find out who plays who...I hope.

disclaimer-I don't own the Spiral plotline, or the Yugioh characters.I do have a narrator though. He's cool.

spiral of destiny- life sucks, deal with it

It was a normal day in Osaka. The sky was blue, the grass was green, the birds were chirping and the seagulls were… seagulling. All seemed perfect, except for one teenager who was sitting on the roof of his school, being very introverted and downright unsociable.

Yugi Motou attempted to do as he was scripted to do, but found it rather difficult. "Aw, what pretty birds…" he blushed embarassedly, "I mean… life sucks."

The boy was pondering his dear older brother, who had disappeared two years ago.

Yugi nodded, "You know, you'd think he'd have been found by now or at least that I'd have gotten over it. This must mean something big is going to happen and I'm gonna be a part of it." Yugi got up to leave the rooftop and walked down the stairs, passing Ryou Bakura, who was on his way up.

And he's so right! For as soon as Yugi reached the bottom of the staircase, he heard a yell that sounded like the albino boy he'd just seen and went to check it out.

Yugi jogged back up the stairs and looked around, "Odd, where'd he go?" he walked closer to the edge of the roof and noticed the group of people on the ground below, "HEY! WHAT HAPPENED HERE?"

Professor Keith pointed up at him, "Look! He must be the one who pushed this poor kid! And he's got the nerve to still be up there!"

Yugi blinked, "But I didn't do it!"

"Tell it to the judge, you evil person-who-pushes-innocent-people-off-roofs!" yelled Keith, before turning to look at Ryou, "I thought he was supposed to be a she?"

We ran out of good female characters and he looks enough like a girl for it not to matter.

"True," everyone agreed.

Anyway, as Yugi was now the prime suspect of a crime that all of us know he'd never commit, he waited to be interrogated by the police.

A brunette woman with a skimpy skirt and a brown-haired man with the most boring face on the planet walked into the room, "Oh, it's you!" said the woman in shock.

Yugi gasped, and ran to her "Oh, thank you for coming Anzu! These people are so mean! They actually thought that I knocked somebody off the roof!"

Anzu patted his head, "It's okay!"

The man next to her looked surprised, "You know this person?"

Anzu snuggled against Yugi, "Of course, Honda! He's my brother-in-law; I married his brother, but now that he's disappeared and Yugi looks so much like him, I hit on him every once in awhile!" she took a step away from Yugi and reprimanded him, "Now, I know you would never throw/knock/push someone else off a roof; you have no upper body strength, but since I'm the only one who would believe it, you have to prove yourself innocent by whatever inane means you can! Oh, and make me some good curry for dinner!"

Yugi nodded, "Alright. That's easy. Not too sure about the curry part though."

Now, randomly, a girl from Yugi's school was listening at the door and as Honda went to open it, she crashed into the room.

"HI!" said the mysterious girl.

Yugi looked at her hard, "Hm… who are you?"

"WHAAAAA?" she shrieked, "Come on, silly, I'm Rebecca! I'm a crazy reporter girl, the only person on the newspaper team at the whole school and I have a cool song! I'm going to be helping you throughout, like, the rest of your life because you always have something interesting happening to you!"

Yugi nodded, trying to remember all this information, "Okay. Let's go then! I don't wanna be late making dinner for Anzu! She can be a real pain!" Rebecca, now called Becky, and Yugi pranced out of the room. As they were walking along the hallway, they ran into Professor Keith.

Said-professor growled at Yugi, "So how long are you in for, runt?"

Yugi snarled back, not at all menacingly, "NOT AS LONG AS YOU'LL BE IN FOR, YOU RAT!" With that, he stomped down the hallway.

Becky gasped, "How did you figure out it was him already?" she was all ready with pen and paper to write down every word.

Yugi shook his head and laughed, "I didn't! I just wanted to stir up things and sound cool!"

Yugi kept on walking as Becky face-faulted behind him. Meanwhile with Keith…

"How? HOW DOES HE KNOW?" Keith banged his head into the wall, "Ouch."

Well, after the rest of the day of thinking to himself, Yugi got home and made Anzu her curry; albeit it was of the heat-n-serve variety.

Anzu shoved the curry into Yugi's face, "You call this FOOD?"

Yugi shoved it back into her, "Well, it's pretty good considering the fact that I CAN'T COOK!"

"Stop yelling; we're over our argument. Now we're supposed to be brooding over my beloved Atemu," Anzu pulled out her script and pointed to it.

Yugi blushed, "Oh, sorry."

Yugi sighed over his food. His brother, and Anzu's husband, Atemu, had been missing for two years and was causing them both lots of emotional pain and suffering. It also caused Anzu to start hitting on Yugi because, dammit, they looked practically identical.

Yugi played with his hair, "I can't count the times that I've woken up with this-" he pointed to Anzu, "-thing sleeping next to me; using me as a pillow. I have this bad feeling though that it'll get even worse because she'll start being threatened by the new girl, Becky." He shrugged, "But that's just my guess."

The next day at school, Yugi ran into Rebecca again, who convinced him to go check out the crime scene for clues.

"Why should I?" Yugi asked, "I'm supposed to be an apathetic, indifferent teen who doesn't care about anything… why do I wanna prove I'm not the 'murderer'?"

Becky hopped up and down, being hyper, "BECAUSE! IT'S REALLY REALLY FUN AND IT'LL MAKE ME HAPPY, OH AND BY THE WAY, RYOU'S NOT DEAD, BUT HE'S GOT AMNESIA SO IT DOESN'T MATTER AFTER ALL!" she finally quieted down and got close to him, "And besides… I think that if you do this, you'll find out about your brother."

Yugi gasped, "How do you know about him?"

Becky shrugged, "Everyone knows about him, we just dunno where he is. And that's what everyone else is going to answer if you ask them, so you probably shouldn't waste your time!"

Anyway, they were on the roof…

"OOOOH, IT'S SO SCARY!" Rebecca waved her arms around, pretending to fly, not convincing anyone that she was scared, "I'll bet this is the part where you find out how Professor Keith did it because here come some of my best friends, only they're so tiny from up here that I really have to squint and it would be dead-near-impossible for a slightly nearsighted person like Ryou to see down there without leaning on the rail!"

As Rebecca waved to the ground from the roof, something clicked in Yugi's brain.

"Ouch," Yugi rubbed his head at the pain from the click. "Now let's see, what was that line again? Oh yeah…" he said, blandly, "The melody of logic always plays the notes of truth."

"Wow," murmured Becky, "That's one long catch-phrase!" Being a brand new fan of Yugi's, she eagerly wrote down every word he said.

Yugi nodded, sifting through the script, "Yeah, though it might help if I said it more than three times in the series. People might not remember it."

After a moment of pondering, they both ran down to find Keith, when at the same time, Anzu and Honda went to find him as well, since they had found an encrypting letter in Ryou's desk.

Yugi rushed in to the room just as Keith was being put in handcuffs, "What are you doing?"

Honda sighed, "This note. It was written to Ryou, telling him to go up to his desk. All we had to do was prove that Professor Keith had written it and he cracked like an eggshell."

The police began hauling out the offending criminal when he started shouting at Yugi, "I KNOW ABOUT YOUR BROTHER, YUGI!"

The wife of Atemu gasped in surprise, "How? He hasn't called me or anything! Is he alright? Is he brushing his teeth well? Because you know, you can feel like you're brushing your teeth well, but in reality-"

"My God woman, do you want to hear about him or not?" when Anzu shut up, Keith cleared his throat and said bluntly, "The Blade Children."

Well that made both the Motou's gasp and go to a flashback of the last time Yugi had talked to Atemu, where he really only said, 'I'm going to pursue the mystery of the Blade Children.' It was a very profound moment.

Unfortunately, it was so profound that Keith was able to escape from Honda's grasp and race all the way outside the school, before getting attacked by someone and falling down on the ground.

Yugi gasped at Keith's pretty much lifeless body and thought to himself, '…what should I make for dinner tonight?'

Argh, I'm too lazy to write up the episode preview... maybe I'll do that later...

REVIEW!

(edit- At a friend's suggestion, I've added proper capitalization to my author notes.Was it worth it? Review!)