Disclaimer: "If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended,

That you did but slumber'd here while these visions did appear.

And this weak and idle theme is no more yielding then a dream."

-Midsummer's Night Dream

Kannon
 By: Lady Erised

"I hear, the voices say "Don't be so blind."

It's telling me all these things

That you probably hide…

Am I your one and only desire?

Am I the reason you breath,

Or am I the reason you cry?"

- Saliva "Always"

Prologue: Dove

The fields below seemed to stretch out to eternity and it seemed that if she wanted to, Rin would be able to sit there on her perch and stare out into the world forever. For his part, Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands let her watch. It kept her quiet and satisfied and for the first time in a long time, she was content to be within his company again. He suppressed a blossom of doubt that flowered inside of him brought his attention back to his own his thoughts, and foreboding. He looked out, towards the beautiful day and tried to focus only on that.

He flexed his delicate hand under the sleeves of his robes and tried to forget the dull ache in the muscles of his absent arm. It had been those phantom pains that had surged under his skin, and taken him to Tama's palace. It had been his own pride that silenced his tongue against the old Kitsune's accusations that he had become soft, had surrendered his title as feared Taiyoukai to become a child's pet, a human's diversion. And it had been his sentiment that had stayed him from hurting or killing Tama.

Tama, however, had felt no such sentiment. Since their fall out, Tama had hexed him, binding Sesshoumaru in a human form while his powers destroyed him, had sent a spy to turn Rin against him, and almost killed his brother in the process. Not the Sesshoumaru necessarily minded harm to come Inuyasha's way. He just preferred that he be the harbinger of such pain. Tama's trickery had also brought out darker parts of a past Sesshoumaru forsook a long time ago and despised to see flouted again.

But almost a month had passed since Tama and his trickery. Either the Fox had given up on his crusade of revenge, (unlikely if Sesshoumaru knew his old friend) or was merely bidding his time till the prefect opportunity presented itself. This was most likely the case, Sesshoumaru knew.

And besides, he thought bitterly. Tama had succeeded in wounding him.

He turned and watched Rin again.

For what was not the first time, nor he knew to be the last, there was sadness and a distance in her small all-knowing eyes. Her eyes caught him watching her and it made Rin tremble, something she had never done before. The stress of this whole ordeal had weighed hard on the small girl; so much so, Sesshoumaru thought for a moment it had broken her.

Rin no longer sang her songs, nor did she raise her head to meet the sun. Instead she shifted from place to place on Ah-Un's back, and was cast about by the wind, never complaining. Something about the change made Sesshoumaru shift and fidget. He was one accustomed to a certain order, and it pained him to see his world so unhinged.

"Lord Jaken."

"Yes, Rin?" The Imp turned, watching her intently, and never glancing towards Sesshoumaru. It made him shift again. His had always been the first person Rin turned to with questions. He shot Jaken a glare before looking away, pretending to study the outside world.

"What does that mean, Lord Jaken?" Rin asked, pointing towards the fields below them. "Who are they?"

Jaken tilted his head and stared down. Swept across the fields like paint, were countless bands from two convoys as they approached one another, banners and flags unfurled and beating in the wind. From their distance, Sesshoumaru could read the Kanji painted across the banners. Rival clans, represented by the blue or green of their House and Name; adorned in their finest and presenting their colors proudly.

Humans. Sesshoumaru had no use for their kind.

"They are the daimyos from this area, Rin." Jaken said simply, and as was his way to embellish. "Those two families have been at war for decades, from their grandparents, and finally meet in peace here on the plain the feud began."

Rin was watching intently as a woman emerged from one convoy, bejeweled and adorned in Wedding red. Rin gasped a little at her delicate, painted beauty. The other convoy parted to reveal a youth: dressed in armor and tanned by the sun. He dismounted his horse, and took several uncertain steps towards the bride before breaking into a run. And there before gods, demons and both parties: the youth ran to his love, took her into his arms and kissed her.

Jaken seemed to smile. "And they come to end the feud."

Rin was entranced by the bride and groom, as they hung to each other. The elders seemed to watch the couple, displeased but tolerant. Both daimyo nodded before the woman's father bowed deeply, and accepted his counterpart's bow and withdrew. The woman then followed her husband to his horse and followed them to her new life.

"Why did they fight Lord Jaken?"

"A great dishonor was done to one house by the other. It is that way with humans."

"But it happened so long ago…"

"Yes, but all humans have are their names, Rin."

"Why?"

"Because," Jaken seemed to hesitate now. In truth, he was no more knowledgeable about humans and their affairs then Sesshoumaru, and things like love, hate and history meant entirely different things to those who lived as the world lived: ever steady, and never changing. "Your name, Rin, your family, is all that belongs to you that you can leave behind for your children or take from your parents. It's what's left after…the end."

Rin shifted suddenly, growing quiet. Her face darkened, and something crossed it that had not been there since before Sesshoumaru pulled Tenseiga and retook what had been stolen: a quiet, fearful haunted look that blanked out her brown eyes.

The blade at Sesshoumaru's hip pulsed, causing his attention to pull away from trying to ignore Rin, and Jaken and brought back to them just in time for Rin's soft, dull question. "Jaken, do you I had a name like that?"

Jaken jumped a little at her question. He glanced nervously to Sesshoumaru who made certain to keep his face cold and stony. You started it, he told his retainer wordlessly, finish it.

Rin's eyes were turned away from them both, as her fingers traced the edge of one of Ah-Un's scales. "I remember my father, my real father, carried an old bow. He wore old…armor that creaked. It wasn't at all like Lord Sesshoumaru's. The old man my father visited called us poor, and would always take the money from father." Her face twisted a little, as she tried to trudge up the memories from long ago. "He made mama cry, and hit Jomei once…father didn't stop him…"

Sesshoumaru rose to his feet then, refusing to hear anymore. "That doesn't matter now."

Rin watched him stand, and shrunk back a little. "Daddy stayed up late that night. He was polishing his bow, he said…" She looked down, and shut her eyes suddenly. "I stayed up because he didn't tell me a bedtime story. I saw him cry…"

Sesshoumaru found himself thinking back to his own father, to the Inutaisho's tears. He remembered it surreal and half-imagined, with the Dog General's arms around his son from behind. He could remember feeling the great demon's body trembling against his back, could feel the way his father's face buried into his mane and something deep inside Sesshoumaru he could only describe as shame. He found himself trembling now, at the idea of Rin feeling the same. "It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me!" Rin shouted suddenly. There was no anger in the small girl's voice; no doubt or rebuke. Instead, there was a dark, consuming fear that overwhelmed the girl as she spoke, as she came to the realization while speaking. "It matters to me…I saw him crying." Her frown deepened. "But…I don't remember his smile, Lord Jaken. I can't…I don't know how he laughed."

Jaken folded his arms over his chest, searching the ground for words. "You were very young when he left you, Rin. And memories are such frail things, even for Youkai." He looked up, keeping his voice gentle but bold. He had to appear strong at this moment. "Given time, all things fade, and it's our nature to remember pain more so then joy."

Sesshoumaru found himself wondering when Jaken had become wise, and glanced carelessly towards Rin. The young girl frowned at his words but seemed to accept them. "In time, will you forget me?" Rin looked up then and turned towards Sesshoumaru. "Or does it even matter?"

Sesshoumaru looked away then, staring out towards the plains which moments before had represented peace and common ground for the two human warlords and their provinces. Sesshoumaru felt old suddenly as he stared out into the world of man. He could remember these lands, and their peoples as they had been when he was younger: when humans clutched together and been so obsessed with the common, meager attempts at life.

He imagined he saw Rin during those times, small and an insignificant wisp of fear, and hopes, and dreams. He found he could not picture her before: as something abstract, unformed and unreal. He never cared to wonder about her life before that first moment she had peered through the foliage of the forests. If pressed, Sesshoumaru would admit to not truly remembering even that time.

In truth, his first real memory of her had been her scent: her blood, fear merging with wolf salvia. It had struck him as a curious afterthought, a déjà vu, and Tenseiga's pulse only deepened the curiosity. The scent had been something he should know, and place it. It should be something remembered.

Given time, all things fade…even memories.

Sesshoumaru found himself wondering if he would forget Rin when she had passed from this world. He surprised himself by even thinking this. She had become so right, so tightly fixed into his world that he neglected to remember she was human, and therefore fleeting. Like snow, ice or family.

And then, Sesshoumaru was struck with the most disturbing sensation of all: the resolute determination that he would not. He didn't know exactly what he was refusing to do or not to do: but he was determined to refuse this…change that would come.

His arm ached, and he felt tired again. He had felt this weak for some time now, since he first stumbled towards Tama's palace and through the all the storms and hell that came after. He felt tired even now, when standing besides Rin, he could not touch her. Physically she was there, but not in the way that mattered. Not her. Not the child whose brown eyes trembled so much, and trusted him so wholly.

He discovered he wanted it back. Somewhere along the line, he had lost himself. Tama and his spells, Zen and his betrayals had stolen something very dear from Sesshoumaru, something he hadn't been able to regain since Zen's death.

Sesshoumaru was afraid. Not of Tama, Naraku, or some other outside force. His fear was nestled in the pit of his stomach like a cancer, and ate away out him. He could not name it. Suddenly, he wanted his strength back, his confidence and his assuredness in the world. Tama had taken that from him he realized now, staring out into the plains.

And he had no way to get it back.

It happened then.

A sign.

A horse raced crossed the plains, a magnificent creature of muscles, will and strength. His brown coat gleamed in the sunlight as it raced. The horse paused, and circled, inclining his head towards the cliff. It seemed to nod to Sesshoumaru twice, bowing his head before jerking and taking off again in pursuit of its elusive goal.

Sesshoumaru turned his head and watched the horse till it had disappeared even from his view on its journey southward. Though his face betrayed nothing, Sesshoumaru felt relieved, and even thankful. Perhaps he could not regain what he had alone. But she would.

And Kanzeon was waiting.