Author's Note: For Babbitt, who makes every day a little brighter and reminds me its okay to be silly, even if someone is looking and for Arin who's reviews make me smile and wanna update.
Oh, skylark, I don't know, I don't know
if you can find these things,
but my heart, my heart is riding on your wings.
So if you see them anywhere
won't you lead me there?
- Johnny Mercer "Skylark"
Chapter One: SkylarkThey traveled till the air became salty and the foliage became tougher, darker and sparse. The lush, thickly populated trees that covered that lands and were familiar gradually wasted away into trees and plants and birds that Rin could no longer name, and trust. The sky even seemed to be different, turning gray and making the air moist and sticky.
It was not unpleasant, at first but at times, the humidity stuck to her skin, making it itch. The unease that came with the saltiness of the air merged with Rin's thought process, and her fears turning this adventure into one far more dangerous then any of those traveled before.
Nothing seemed familiar anymore; it made Rin tired and nervous even though she had done this all before.
Ah-Un had flew most of the time, with Rin on his back while Jaken and Sesshoumaru existed only as a cloud of brilliant light pulsing and pushing forward before them. They belonged to a whole other world then, Rin thought, as she peered up at them in a quiet mixture of awe, sadness and loneliness.
How very much she would miss them.
She thought for a moment how beautiful her Sesshoumaru was, and how very much she would worry for him now. She didn't want to go, but she knew somehow she had too. He had become something dark, lurking and cold. Lord Sesshoumaru had always been distant, like the moon or the future, but he had never been cruel. She had seen him fight, seen him treat and mistreat others before but never her or Jaken, never with really meaning it.
Now, every time she saw his face, she saw Tama's dark eyes. When she felt his hand holding her, and brushing her skin, all Rin could feel was the claws. They had always been there, she told herself, but now she knew what they were for. There was a difference.
He was no longer Sesshoumaru Lord: that powerful king she had found alone and in need of her in the forest. He was the Sesshoumaru of Four Creeks, of Tama, of everything that the one called Inuyasha had always said him to be.
She found herself thinking of Jaken. He had told her once of her Lord's swords. Tenseiga, the one never pulled, was a blade of peace, of caution and compassion. Tokijin, Jaken had told her, was a sword that deserved Sesshoumaru. It was powerful, dark and deadly.
She had always thought of Sesshoumaru as Tenseiga, something secretive, cautious, and withheld. Tokijin was a storm, and death contained in one small piece of metal.
And somewhere along the lines, between Zen and Tama, and humanity and Nanashi and the others; Rin had ceased to recognize her Lord. He had become something distant and deadly.
He was the Sesshoumaru of Tokijin.
And she couldn't wait to be away from this darkness.
Still, she thought sadly, who would make Jaken smile those hidden smiles now, or who will attend to Ah-Un to make sure he was happy and petted. And who, she wondered, will bring Sesshoumaru small gifts in hopes of pleasing him. Who would care for her Lord when she was gone?
And then, where would she go? Back to the village with those men and their hard faces and fists? Her father and mother were resting there, along the empty marker that had Jomei's name but not his body. She remembered, distantly, of her mother's sister who had a small house, seven children and a fat husband who smelled like sweet wine. She remembered that they use to travel there when the winter was fading, but not yet done to share a dinner. She remembered the house was always hot from cooking and loud from the kids that clustered around her aunt. Jomei had once told her that the woman was not really the children's mother, nor, in truth was, this woman their mother's sister. They just called her that because they had grown up together.
Jomei had told her these children had no real mother or father, and they had all stumbled to their aunt who couldn't support them but couldn't say no. He said they were lucky; they had real parents. They would never have to be like those children and depend on strangers.
Then, he had used the word family with her. The woman, he had said darkly, and all her thin, wild-eyed children were not a real family like they were. They didn't have blood, and didn't love one another. That's what he said they needed to be a real family.
Rin blinked, and hugged Ah-Un's neck. She didn't have a real family anymore and soon, she wouldn't have Sesshoumaru.
And again, she wondered where she would go.
"Rin."
She jumped a little, and felt Ah-Un shift to keep her steady on his back. She became aware of her name being called. She glanced ahead of her, towards the glowing light that was her Sesshoumaru and Jaken but could tell neither spoken. Ah-Un could not speak to her, at least in words.
"Rin, my beautiful girl." The voice called again.
She thought it sounded like rain and bells, and mother. It had the melody and rhythm that warmed Rin like sweeten milk, and folded around her like the silk of Sesshoumaru's robes. She was reminded more of her mother, and father- for the voice also gave her comfort and spoke of strength. The voice ran cool over Rin's small frame, assuring her it was there, and that no harm could come to her. The voice understood her. Even loved her. It sounded like her family or Jaken but not Sesshoumaru.
"Rin, sweet girl, can I hold you when you're alone? Can I keep your eyes free from tears, and tell you how much I love you? Will you let me, beloved Rin?"
The voice continued to whisper things in Rin's ear that caused Rin's stomach to ache and her eyes to burn with tears. It was as if the voice that heard every time she had wept, cried and prayed for someone to hear her, know her, and comfort her. It was if the voice swept Rin into invisible arms, and continued to whisper to her that now everything would be different. Soon, she would come to fetch Rin and take her away from the pain and suffering.
She'd never be alone again. She would have her Comforter.
"Rin."
This time the voice was Sesshoumaru's. He had reformed and stood, watching her with his distant cold eyes. Jaken stood beside him, staring at the ground with a strange expression powdering his face. Sometime during her time with the voice, they had landed but the land was unfamiliar. Sesshoumaru reached over, and touched Jaken's shoulder briefly before walking to Rin.
"The voice," Jaken was mumbling, with the wind catching his words and bringing them to Rin. "She said many things. She told me I was wanted. She knew things I never told anyone. She said, she was watching after me, that she could protect me."
"She will promise many things." Sesshoumaru hissed, "Such is the manner of gods."
"Is she capable of granting them?"
Sesshoumaru was quiet as he pulled Rin off Ah-Un. Rin squirmed a little, refusing to feel comfort from the touch of his arm around her, or the softness of the mantel that adorned his shoulder. She shivered again, and turned her head away. She became aware of Sesshoumaru watching her as he kneeled to set her down. She had always clung to him, small arms around his neck. He must have wondered what she was thinking.
The land seemed soft under her feet, and she pushed a little on the ground. It almost bounced back under her feet. The air had lost its saltiness, and the sun was warm with a soft cold breeze that sliced pass Rin's cheeks. There was life around her that Rin was only vaguely aware of, birds calling to one another that quieted as she looked in their direction. She thought she heard music. Beyond one tree, Rin saw a horse looking at her. The creature's wise brown eyes held her gaze for a long time before it nodded and turned away, disappearing deeper into the forest.
Sesshoumaru had seen it too, because now he rested his hand on Rin's shoulder and squeezed. "She is capable of granting all, or nothing. Many times she will do both."
"Who is she, Lord Sesshoumaru?" Rin asked finally.
Jaken shook himself, freeing himself from the chill that had gripped him. "The Mainland calls her Kuan Yin, in the far Islands she is Kwan-si-um, Quan Am. The mikos and monks call her Avalokitesvara."
"Who is she truly?" She asked again, and watched as Sesshoumaru turned, and began to walk ahead of them. Rin frowned, but began to follow. "Lord Sesshoumaru!"
"A god." Jaken continued, hurrying to a place besides her. "Much is under her domain, much can she claim, and much does she desire. Pay close attention, Rin. You must be quiet here. Be distant but not rude, polite but not kind. Ask nothing of her, and accept no gift however small."
"But Master Jaken, why?" She began. She was trying to store all he told her into her mind but as quickly as he spoke, she seemed to feel the words fall through her like sand between her fingers.
Jaken became aware of another horse near them, and did something unusual then. He reached over, took Rin's hand into his and put it firmly in his pocket: to be assured of her nearness to them. She saw another horse across from them, and then another. There had to be a herd of them, each one staring at the troupe with brown, unreadable eyes. "Because a god gives nothing freely, especially their ear."
"Do you truly think me so cruel, Master Jaken?"
It was the voice of rains and bells taken form and he was beautiful. The man before them had a curtain of jet-black hair that fell down his shoulder in a wet heap. He was tall, and stately, with a narrow face and high cheekbones. His eyes swam in colors of blue, green and brown. His nose was aquiline and sharp, matching the diamond cut of his jaw and the coolness of his pale, rose-colored lips.
Rin looked down, to the curves of the muscles under the man's ivory skin, and to the paleness that touched his shoulders, and chest. He had one arm cropped behind his ear, as he pushed back a portion of his hair. She watched as the arm and fingers brushed against the jaw, and down the chest to fall lazily to his side. She became aware somewhere after this that the man was naked as her eyes drifted downwards.
Jaken too must have realized the man's indecency because the vassal shrieked and jumped forward. Sesshoumaru sidestepped, blocking the man from view at the same time, Rin felt Jaken's scaly hands cover her eyes.
"Hey, what's that?" She yelped.
"You bring a mortal into my domain" The voice asked, "without intercession or commission and then start at how I go about my lands?" The voice laughed then, and Rin felt like her father was carrying her again. "Oh my precious Hunger, how I missed your gall."
"Sesshoumaru." She heard Sesshoumaru correct quietly. "The girl travels with me all places."
"Save those surrounded by peril or revealing your true nature, eh? How queer the whims of Lord Sesshoumaru have become." The voice returned. "Remove your hands from the daughter of man, Jaken Lord. I am in a finer form."
When Rin could see again, there was a woman standing were the naked man had been. She had the same ivory skin, and sharpness of features. Even the eye colors continued to swirl, from beneath the damp black hair. The woman pulled on a shoulder of a simple gold robe and went about tying the obi. She smiled at Rin sincerely as she walked passed Sesshoumaru and Jaken.
Rin noticed she was barefoot, throwing her head down in humility. She didn't know what it was really, but Jaken told her to do whenever they met someone important. Rin could tell this woman was very important.
"Do not look away, human child." The woman called in the man's voice as she kneeled. She took Rin's chin into her thin fingers and turned her head to face hers. Rin felt like she was staring into her family. She wondered why she thought so much of them now suddenly, and that thought brought tears to her eyes. Rin felt her body tremble, and she began to cry. She couldn't explain why. The woman seemed to fully understand, she moved her hand and pushed the tears from her cheek. "Do not weep. I am here, though I admit for so long I must have seemed so far away. But I did not forget you, my Rin. See, I brought you Sesshoumaru and he has brought you to me. I know this is a small condolence, and for that I ask your forgiveness, my Rin."
Rin stared at her, and suddenly felt warm again. "To you?" She asked.
"Yes." The woman whispered. "He has brought you home. Home for all time."
"Who are you?"
"You know me. You have always known me."
Rin stared up into the woman's smiling face, and felt her truth. She felt like she had known this woman forever, even before she could remember being Rin, if that was possible. As she stared into her eyes, Rin began searching for the one word that she could feel from the woman, and thus be called. Finally, she murmured. "Are you love?"
"In a manner." The woman laughed, pulling her hand to fall in Rin's. "Call me Kannon."
Rin threw her arms around Kannon's waist and the woman laughed again. She sounded like mother. Kannon stood, maneuvering herself in such a way that Rin would not be pushed away. Rin tightened her grip around Kannon. Now that she had her, Rin wouldn't let her go.
Sesshoumaru was standing there, looking at Kannon darkly. He looked at Kannon like he had with Tama, or Naraku. Jaken stood between them, his little head bobbing one way or another.
"Rin has a home." Jaken was saying. "She is with us by choice…we didn't…Lord Sesshoumaru, we never…did you mean to leave Rin here? Is that why we have come? Lord Sesshoumaru!"
Kannon met Sesshoumaru's eyes, "Yes, tell me why have you come."
"Do you not know?" Sesshoumaru demanded, his voice colder then usual and distant. Rin thought she heard fear in his voice. For a moment, Rin wanted to pull from Kannon's hand. Her Lord needed her.
"I think you come seeking the one called the Hunger." She told him. "And, if you truly wish this, and have the proper payment, I could even grant it." She walked past him then, leading Rin by the hand to a beaten path not far away. "But be mindful, Sesshoumaru. My gifts are boundless, but my demands are costly."