Disclaimer: As a friend of mine said, "If thou thinks I own this, thou art stupid" Teen titans, that is. No, stupid isn't a bad word, and this is PG-rated anyways. Lotsa swearing here! XD
To Taylor: uhm…if you haven't noticed, Nairu is my OC. To others who don't know this, please take note as well.
Seeing Beyond The Dark
Chapter Five: Midnight escape
Robin stared wide-eyed at the note.
Have to leave…Have to leave…
Have to leave…
Have to leave…The words ran across his mind over and over again. His knees were wobbly and had he not hold on the armrest of the chair, he was sure he would have fallen down.
Subconsciously, his other hand withdrew from his pocket and clasped at the moon-shaped pendant that hung by his throat. It was so cold. So terribly cold. His throat ached as he leaned at the chair, closing his eyes.
All around him, grief sat, surrounded by an aura of melancholy. He suddenly felt sick.
"I think…" He said in a voice that was not quite his, "I'll rest in my room for a while…"
He shook his head to clear his mind, dragging his feet to the familiar route to hid bedroom, Raven's words imprinted in dark, permanent ink at the base of his mind.
o
There he sat on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. It was a moment before he shut his eyes, the light from the lightbulb up up there almost blinding him.
He stood up when a knocking came to his door.
"Robin?" It was Cyborg.
He fell back down again. He felt in no mood to talk to anybody. He ignored him, but had no choice when the knocking got louder.
"You in there?"
"…Yeah. What do you want?" He said, careful to hide the anxiety in his voice, but only succeeded in sounding colder than he meant.
"I need to talk to you."
"Say what you have to say." He replied flatly, his voice faintly reminding Cyborg of Raven.
"…Won't you at least open the door?"
Robin thought for a while. Then, a sense of weariness came back to him. He was too tired… "No."
His eyes glanced at the door every now and then, but no answer came from behind. A relatively long silence followed. Robin shrugged. He must've left.
He could only guessed what he wanted to talk about. But no, Robin felt no need to talk to just anybody now. It's not like Cyborg understood.
While it might be true that he was nowhere near 'close' to Raven, he wasn't apathetic either. He didn't feel grief like the other had, well…maybe a pang of it. He didn't feel hurt for any friendship either. But he did feel hurt, for something else. He felt hurt and angry. Despite everything, she was a member of the Teen Titans. You couldn't just leave like that. And moreover, he saw that she was in no hurry to come back either. And yet…
Knowing Raven, the first thing that came to mind was: 'You're joking'. But no, Raven doesn't joke. She wasn't like normal people who, he included, goofed around all day, or so she would've put it. No, she was less-emotional. He knew it wasn't her fault, she shouldn't blame her.
But in some part of his mind, in his desperation to find an answer, he did.
He blamed her for leaving, blamed her for the pain he and the others felt, and blamed her for ruinging the Christmas spirit. And on the very day too…
"I wonder…" He asked, to no one in particular. "If se ever understood the true essence of Christmas?"
It was not, he proceeded to think, in giving gifts.
He resisted the urge to grab the necklace and throw it at the nearest wall.
It was…just being there…and she missed out on that most important part. He smiled a mirthless smile. How ironic.Especially when she was the rival…of another one who left. And how so very much alike she and Terra are…
"Robin…please? Just for a minute. No, a second."
The smile vanished instantly, almost as soon as it came when the voice pulled through again. But he was far too deep on his thoughts to be…pestered.
"You can sit there and rot all day for all I care." He sneered and meant it, which was out of character. Robin doesn't sneer, but he did.
Cyborg was too shocked to answer for a while. But he recovered soon. Whatever reason it was, it seemed all of them were really not themselves with Raven gone. Even Beastboy and Starfire had so harshly yelled at him. "…You know, it won't go away. The more you try to ignore it, the more it will gnaw at you back. The best way is to talk, and try to find why, in the first place, she left—"
"She left," Robin interrupted, voice full of bitterness. "Because it's her. She hates Christmas, and she just left because she can't stand it here. Maybe were just too—too weak—for her."
"Look, I'm sure there's a reason—"
"Just…go away."
"Robin? ROBIN! Don't you dare ignore me! Both Beastboy and Starfire are ignoring me already, and I've have enough of it. If you don't open this door, I swear, I'll blast it with my laser cannon if that's what it takes!" Cyborg yelled.
Robin's eyes widened, then narrowed again. Sighing, he grudgingly got up, grabbing his sunglasses on the way as he opened the door.
"What," he repeated. "Do you want?"
Cyborg stepped in, sighing in relief. "Finally, somebody wise enough to listen."
Robin did not reply, did not even show any signs of hearing him.
Cyborg stared at him, the almost-lifeless boy who he knew as the Titan Leader. But…he wasn't Robin. He did have the same face, the same hair, he same skin. But he had a whole new attitude. Where was the grim determination, the natural laughter and the easy smile he always saw…?
"I know it's a tough time since Raven—" He could've sworn Robin cringe at the name "—had left, very much like, I'm sure you've found the connection, Terra. But she's not like her in any other way, and we all know that! This is Raven—our Raven we're talking about. Raven is perfectly reasonable. There must be an explanation for this." Cyborg threw his hands in the air in exaggeration.
Robin looked at him, but through empty eyes. "…If all you came here to preach about is Raven, then forget about it. Get out of here." He said in a low, soft voice.
"Oh, no, Robin, no. You have to listen to me. I mean, where else would Raven go? This is her home, her family—"
"Sod that. She left. She doesn't like it here anymore. And it's not like she's forced to stay here anyway." Robin cut short.
"We could at least find her and ask her!"
"And if she doesn't want to come back? What, then?"
Cyborg glared at him. "Well, we could at least try!"
Robin glared right back. "And if she doesn't want to be found? She could be at the end of the world for all we know! You know what she said in that note. Weeks, years—I doubt she's even planning on coming back!"
"You never know. Maybe she is, but you're all too down to even bother!" Cyborg snapped back. "And besides, I'm not ignorant, you know. At the end of the note. There was something she wrote to you on some paper. I bet it has something to do with all these!"
"…That's none of your business! And it doesn't have anything to do with all these!"
"Oh yeah?! Show it to me then!"
Robin opened his mouth to say something, but at the look on Cy's face, quickly closed it. The paper was still in his pocket. His hand was ready to pull it out. But then he stopped. No. he would not give him that satisfaction. "No."
"See, see? I bet you know where she is!"
"No!" he brought a fist down at the table, startling Cyborg, who took a step backward when he took on foreward. "If I did, don't you think I would've told you? Don't you think I trust you enough??!"
"Then why? Why won't you tell me what she meant? Enlighten me!"
"Stop it! Just fucking stop it!" Robin said exasperatedly, a dangerous note on his voice. "Don't! Don't tell me what to do and don't tell me whatever excuses Raven might have for leaving. If she wants to leave, then she damn hell leaves! Tell yourself all those made-up, sorry excuses, but leave me out of it. Understand?"
"Then…all right…" Cyborg broke off, not knowing what to say. "…If that's the way it is…"
"It was a mistake letting you in, in the first place. Now get out." He spat fiercely.
But Cyborg stood still on his spot, head bowed down. His hands on both sides were tightly balled into fists.
"I said, GET OUT!"
Cyborg raised his head. He held Robin glare, but abruptly broke off. "Of course." He said stiffly.
Robin watched him walk away, and in spite of himself, felt a pang of triumph. But it quickly faded away, leaving him to wonder, if he did the right thing.
o
Cyborg left the room, groaning heavily.
Perhaps…yes…maybe Raven's gone forever…There was a part of him that broke at the thought, a part of him that did not want to believe that. Afterall they had gone through. But a larger part of him had already accepted that painful truth. Perhaps he was just being an ass about it.
Beastboy's soft cries he could still hear as he crossed his room. He was suddenly full of pity. He had no right to be so down when Beastboy must've felt even worse. He still remembered Terra, who hurt him when she left, and killed him when she died. Now, he hhad to go through it again…
At the far side of the hall, came Star's louder sobbing. Cyborg shut his eyes, willing himself not to listen as he went up down to the garage to find himself something to do…anything. Anything to keep his mind occupied so he didn't have to think anymore.
o
At least find her!
His words echoed in Robin's mind. Suddenly, all his anger left. Maybe…he could be right…she could be out there…
His mind, for the first time, went to his friends. Weren't they too, suffering? He then realized something he should've realized. Something Cyborg already had.
He didn't have to bear all the pain alone.
He had them. Cyborg was there for him, and what did he do? Yell his head off. He had to be there for them too…
He was ultimately unreasonable. But he resolve to change that.
Right now, he wanted to. But could not. All he can do was what he was going to do. What he was going to do is risky, it might hurt them even more but…
What had to be done, had to be done.
o
Robin winced heavily, as he saw the mask. Mask of what he had been before. But he was different now.
He carefully took the mask. He needed something to make him look different. Something that won't attract people. That's where Nairu's shades kicked in. He was thankful for them.
He then took his steel, expandable stick (A/n: I have no idea what it's called) and placed it at the top of his neatly arranged casual clothes. His costume, too, was way back at his cabinet. He shut the backpack tight and sealed it with the zipper.
He was all-packed and ready. Swinging the bag over his shoulders, he pulled his cloak, the one he bought a year ago but never wore or even thought of wearing until now, tightly about him. It was jet-black, like his hair, and had silver stitching on the hem and sides. It collar rose up and completely covered his mouth.
The clock struck, informing him it was midnight already. He peeked outside the windows and saw that indeed all was dark save for some Christmas lights. But he could do. Now, was the hard part.
Still, on the side table near the entrance, lay Raven's note. Now, he had to add a letter. He cleared his mind, trying not to think about how the others would react if they saw the paper in the morning.
In his fine, standard curved handwriting, he wrote quickly, on the same paper just below Raven's note.
When he had finished and signed it, he placed on top the mask he had been holing all the time. That would convince them that he really was the one who wrote it. He grabbed the small flashlight and the two pack of batteries(which he shoved at his cloak's pocket). Without any second thoughts, he opened the door and faced the world.
o
Cyborg woke up on a dull Thursday, to find that the usual bumming and noisy room was silent and empty.
So, he went on, half-heartedly cooking breakfast—for whom? Not likely they'll come out of their rooms.
"This is horrible." He whispered, to no one in particular.
Just then, the eggshell he was about to break, via the spoon, broke all the way to the ends, leaving a mess of yolk and white. "This day can't get any worse…"
But it did. He was about to go outside, only to find out that their whole driveway was filled with snow. He found two kids nearby and angrily shoved some coins in their waiting hands as they began to shove the snow.
Even worse, when he tried to get both Starfire and Beastboy at lunchtime. They wouldn't come down either. But compared to Robin's yelling, theirs were soft voices mixed with helplessness. It made him feel even more miserable.
The worst, however, came when he was about to go upstairs, to just finally rest. His head was throbbing badly when a flash of black caught his eye. He spun back, gazing at the side table. It was Robin's mask, over Raven's note.
He picked it up, a wave of nausea almost overtaking him when he read it.
The letter slid from his hands, casually falling to the floor. Then, dizziness came and he was suddenly surrounded by darkness.
o
Raven crossed the elaborately decorated open hall without a single pause, concentrating all her meditation in ignoring the people who cheered.
"Rave," Nairu called beside her. "You all right? You look…unusually pale."
"Fine as the nighttime." She replied smoothly.
Nairu looked unsure, but let it pass. "You know…I'm starting to doubt all these…Seki's information…"
Raven's gray eyes met hers. "And why is that?"
"It's just that…all these…every week, or at least once every two weeks, there's a report of them. Always in opposite location. Like, far north, then they suddenly appear at the middle east. It's too much."
Raven returned her gaze forward, nodding without interest. "What are you trying to say?"
"That…well…they should have a headquarters, shouldn't they? So why travel at the four corners of the globe?"
"…Maybe that's because Seki's group keeps finding them."
"Or maybe there's something else behind all these. Doesn't it feel suspicious?"
Raven rolled her eyes, tired from hearing any more. At that moment, she was saved when they came to the end of the hall, where rows of silver circled doors rested. Their trademark eye glared at thhe center. Raven put one pale hand on it and it opened, leading them to a square open space, much like an elevator, only more advanced since it had no buttons, just the same eye where in Raven again put her hand, and it zoomed upwards.
Nairu felt the sick feeling of traveling in the speed of light. It was an upward jerk and within the second, they came to their destination. The lightheadedness stuck with her though. She supposed she should be used to it by now. Afterall, she had lived here all her life.
Raven, Nairu, Ralph and Seki left the cube-like elevator, now about fifty feet from the ground. Raven looked unhinged, while Seki felt a bit dizzy like Nairu. Ralph was trying to get up his feet properly.
"Blech. I think I better go now. Have much to check on, with business and all. For the kingdom of Ahluind and the clan, of course." Ralph grinned, patting Nairu at the back. "It's not like we're going to do anything important, right?"
Raven blinked. Once. Twice. "But…I thought…"
Ralph addressed her sentiment with a wave of the hand. "Adios, Amigos!"
Seki stared at his retreating form towards another elevator, at the far left. "Since when did he speak Spanish?"
Nairu shrugged. "…dunno…"
The three then strode along the red carpet, across another set of double doors.
o
"Have you seen a girl with, um, light violet hair, about my height, wearing dark colours and…" he described Raven, like he had been for the past hour. Good thing the station was open, 24 hours.
The man finally pointed to a train at the left. "East Ahluind. Are you going to buy a ticket?"
Robin felt tired, and immensely regretted leaving. Right now, he would have been enjoying a hot cup of milk, some tofu or eggs…
But he tried no to think about that. Because right now, he was positively rotting on the sidewalk. Free from his usual costume, he was wearing a pale-yellow colored shirt, some jeans, and a dark cloak. And of course, shades.
No one seemed to recognize him. But that wasn't really much of a good thing, he thought, when he had reached the train station.
He would've bought a ticket, and somewhere beneath all his stuff was his license, but it's not like he could pretend to be Dick Grayson anymore. He was still Robin. And that would be his name all through out. And he didn't really want them to know who he was. Otherwise, the others would probably chase after him to wherever he went.
"…No thanks." He sped to the other end of the station, following the length of the train. He had no choice.
Sighing, he pulled his back pack to his arm, gripping it as tightly as he could. He then jumped to the side of one train.
He let out his breath when he saw no one spotted him. He then made his way inside. It must be cheating, an evil thing. If he did this a month ago, he would've been ashamed and angry at himself. But as he was right now, he only felt apathy.
Robin yawned slightly, and for the rest of his ride, slept contentedly like the others on their midnight ride.
o
"Excuse me?" Robin tapped the man's shoulder lightly. When he woke up he found himself seated beside a tall, slim boy with ebony-hair tied in a thin ponytail, and blue eyes that reminded him of the sea, who he didn't remember seeing last night…
He turned around. "…Yes?"
"Where is this train going?" He felt stupid, asking the question.
The guy looked at him oddly. "…We're on our way to the southern part of the kingdom of Ahluind. The train just stopped by the central park a while back. "
Robin nodded quickly. "…err—oh yeah, I forgot. Sorry about that."So he must've missed the last stop…Damn his drowsiness. He wanted out as soon as possible…South, huh? The train-station-man said east, but at least he was still in the same kingdom…
Robin could see the noon sun at the corner of his eyes, and knew he overslept 'til nearly lunch…
He nodded too. Robin sighed. Oh great. He was on his way to a place he didn't even know. He felt sick.
"…Hey, you alright there?" The man asked with a grin, holding out a small plastic wrapper to him.
"…What's this?" Robin asked as he took it.
The man turned to the window again. "Just candy. Mint flavor, of course. I have lots of those, don't worry. Something to eat, we still have a long way. You sure you're alright? You look a bit…"
"I'm fine." Robin tossed the candy to his mouth, slipping the wrapper to one of his jeans' pockets. "Oh, I'm Robin, by the way."
The train slowed and eventually came to a stop at another station, where the words 'Ahluind South Station' were printed in a sign board that hung at the front in big, old, blank letters.
Robin stood up, the man did too.
The other glanced at him, smiling cheerfully. "Hello. I'm Ralph. So…are you new here?"
"…yeah."
"Don't worry, I'll help you along the streets. Quite a lot of free time ahead of me…" He chuckled.
o
Raven raised a brow. "You really wanna know?"
"That's what I said earlier!" Nairu protested.
Seki frowned impatiently. "It's not like we'll all die if you told us." He drawled, fiery eyes almost tempting.
"Fine, fine." Raven replied, albeit amusedly. "It's someone…I met a while back. One of my comrades."
"And?" Nairu pressed.
"…And, I gave it, the Ethrium that is, to him, this Christmas." She said, matter-of-factly.
Nairu raised a hand. "Wait! As in…just like that?!"
Raven nodded. "…Just like that."
The other one was surprised. "…but what about…just like that…did this person even know?"
Raven shrugged. "What you don't know won't hurt you."
Seki replied detachly. "Trust has a way of disproving that. I mean, look at that mutt, Ralph. He doesn't even know what's good for him. It's not like he knew what was coming either when he was given the job of Master, did he? Look at the result now, he's doing a bad job of it."
Nairu stomped her foot in a childish manner. "Honestly, I don't know what you're problem with Ralph is! As long as you don't bother us with it." She turned to Raven. "Specific answer: Who'd you give it to?"
"…Well, it's someone you know…"
"Oh, is it now? Specific answer!"
Momentary pause.
Raven sighed as the duo looked at her expectantly.
"Oh, fine. It's…the Titan Leader, Robin."
Nairu gaped. "Robin??!"
"What, anything wrong?"
Seki closed his eyes, tired as he was. "Who is this Robin anyway?"
"I told you, he's the Titans leader." Raven repeated impatiently.
"And he is to be trusted?"
Raven sighed. "…Yeah, I suppose. He's a worthwhile fellow…"
"Worthwhile enough to put your life on the line?" Nairu asked loudly.
Raven's face held no sign of expression. "Since this is what it's all about anyway, why don't you tell me about what's really going on anyway? I come here, less than half a year ago, and you gave me some freaking crescent necklace and Ralph tells me to go give it to someone. Now what? What is this whole meeting and stuff all about?"
Nairu rolled her eyes. "Since you insist, I'll go ahead and tell you the story. Mind you, the late queen asked us to keep it secret, so don't look at me that way." She began, "Now…
"When you were merely a small baby, Her Highness put this charm on you, called the Ethrium Spell. It takes your life—and no, I did not mean that literally—and puts it in an inanimate object. Well, not really your life, just a portion of your soul—and maybe that could explain part of your lack of emotion—and that inanimate object happened to be a crescent crystal His Lordship gave to Her Highness on their wedding day—God let them rest in peace—and so, she gave it to you. This Spell casts your soul sort of…indestructible, say. Since the crescent crystal originated way back before anyone could remember, the crystals forged and found deep underground, they held an ancient kind of magic. So, the spell gave you endless powers, like those you have now, and you cannot die from any tragedy, you will merely heal overtime.
"That is a curse in itself. For example, if you had some lethal disease, you will not die by it, but instead live with the disease until your real life span comes to a halt. Or rather, it renders you indestructible but not invincible, nor immortal. You cannot live forever still.
"The Ethrium Spell also gave you a negative effect. Your powers are too strong and cannot be controlled, so you were brought up in here knowing no emotion. Unfortunately for the Queen, by the time she realized this great flaw—living with no emotions was a tragedy—she could do nothing in her power to reverse the Spell. So, you grew up, went away, I then came to find you, yadda, yadda…
"Then, when Her Highness died, Ralph told me to give you the crescent crystal, which Her Highness kept around her neck with a silver chain. But now, it has come to you. And now, it's in someone else's hands." She gave her best friend a warm smile. "…So…?"
Raven shook her head. "Well…that explains a lot, but still, why did Ralph even bother telling me to give the Ethrium away?"
Nairu snapped her fingers. "Oh, that. Well, since the crystal is practically your life, if it is destroyed or broken, you die."
Raven blinked. "That was frank…I die, huh? Well, that really sucks. Are you sure there's no way to reverse it? I don't want to live my life dreading every second Robin might break the crystal afterall."
"…And oh yeah, there's something else…well, obviously, there are also some people after the crystal."
"Like…?"
Nairu sighed. "Lately, there's been this ground, which claims to be called Exe, and they almost got the Ethrium, if it was not for Ralph, who quickly defended it when they came to—sad as it is—assassinate the Queen. Now, we have several reports of them. Seki heads the security and the search for them."
Seki nodded. "Yes. Around south of the city, if I remember."
"South? Nairu said. "I thought it was north?"
"That was four months ago."
"Oh…Okay, then."
Raven rolled her eyes. Why do they want it anyway?"
"…No idea…Maybe it's the magic within it. It's ancient old afterall."
Raven let out a fake cough. "Greeeeaaaattt." She drawled, " Anyways, are you positive there's no other way to reverse the spell, or destroy it or what?"
Nairu crossed her arms. "Whoever said there wasn't? Only the queen couldn't. At your current state, I doubt you can either."
Raven glanced at her sharply. "And why not?"
Seki nodded. "I agree with Nairu. To dispel, it is all up to you. Because there is only one emotion that could reverse the ancient magic. Probably the oldest emotion of them all. And it's not quite possible for you to experience it."
"What is it?…Fear? Hatred? That's pretty easy." Raven replied with dry humor.
Both Nairu and Seki shook their heads. "No, It's love." They said at the same time.
Authoress' Notes: There! I wrote on-off on this chappie, so it might be a bit confusing. Whoopee, I got Raven's past and the pendant thingee (which is very AU and corny too) out on this chappie. Ahluind, the kingdom, is pronounced as 'H-ah-looin'. And Exe obviously is the application program! And another spelling of X and eX. The chapter's title was a big, fat, give away to most of what happened tho.
Sorry for the lack of romance too. I promise more will come soon, and maybe some hints.
I think there will be an estimated around 5-6 more chapters of this fanfic, so yeah, I'm kind of in a hurry. So again, things will go on a faster pace than the fast one it already is running on.
Honestly, maybe it's the part of me that wants to just finish this fic already so it's fast. I don't want to put this on hiatus or completely stop this fic, coz I did that to my very first one in this site already and I do want a fic that I can see to the end. Like, being free to start a new fic. Not that I hate this or don't enjoy writing this, I do. But I currently have my interests…somewhere else, so to say.
Thanks to all the reviewers! I really appreciate them and you don't know how much they encourage me! I'm really sorry I couldn't put author responses this chapter, because I heard from somewhere that FanFictondotnet can delete your fics for some whacko reason related to that. Anyways, R&R!