A/N: HI :D Miss me? Anyway, thank you all for your requests and such and I am doing the best I can with them (I hope)!
Anyway, first up is Sekhmet's request, because it was the first one that gave me a really vivid concept. The request was a Fantastic Four parody, or at least superheroes. I have to admit, I've been toying with the idea of superheroes for a while (X-Men, while certainly not my first fandom, was my first REAL Internet fandom--no, Hogan's Heroes doesn't count... shh...), but hadn't given it a whole lot of thought. And, okay, I admit it, I haven't seen the new F4 film, all though I've kind of wanted to, but I am a bit familiar with the--oops, rambling again. ANYWAY. I thought about it for a couple of minutes before I hit upon this, and I decided it was The Way To Go. ENJOY XD
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Voiceover: Look, up in the sky, it's a Flock of Seagulls! It's a Jefferson Airplane! No, it's... the Fantastic Four, sort of!
(That's right, roll credits. First up it's Luffy--caption: Mr. Fantastic; then Robin--caption: Invisible Girl; then Sanji--caption: Human Torch; and finally, Zoro--caption: The Thing. You all know what they look like. Do I need to explain it?)
Zoro: The Thing?
(Cut to Nami, Usopp, and Chopper.)
Usopp: And what are we? Chopped liver?
(Cut back to the F4. They are looking all kinds of badass and ready for action.)
Sanji:
Now this is my kind of episode. (He
looks at Robin,
and opens his mouth to make a remark about her costume.)
Zoro:
Don't.
Sanji:
What?
Zoro:
She's your sister.
Sanji:
What? (He
really looks like he might cry.)
Luffy:
Look on the bright side, Sanji Storm--you're not made of orange rock!
Sanji:
That's true. Are you her brother too?
Luffy:
Nope. Husband.
Sanji:
WHAT? That's
so unfair!
Luffy:
No, it's convenient. Mr. Fantastic and I have the same power.
Sanji:
He's a shitty rubber bastard who wants to get his ass kicked?
Luffy:
Yes! -- Wait. No! Well. Only kind of.
(Cut to Nami, Usopp, and Chopper. They're sitting around a Monopoly board. Nami rolls the dice and moves her piece.)
Nami:
Ah! Boardwalk! Yahoo!
Usopp:
How do you always get Boardwalk? I think you're cheating.
Nami:
How do you cheat at Monopoly?
Usopp:
Pretty easily, I'd say, especially since you're always the bank!
Nami:
I just like having the money.
Usopp:
It's fake.
Nami:
But I can pretend. (She
rubs her face against a stack of pink Monopoly money.)
Chopper:
(He rolls, then moves
his piece.) ... Ah. Boardwalk.
Nami:
Haha! Pay up!
Usopp: Look on the bright side, Chopper; at least she hasn't got eight
hotels on it yet this time--isn't that against the rules, by the way?
Chopper:
(He hands Nami
the rent money.) You mean I got cleaned out in one roll
for nothing? You should speak up sooner!
Nami:
You people and your rules. Anyway, it's your turn, Usopp; you're
holding up the game!
Usopp:
(He rolls and moves his
piece.) ... Boardwalk.
Nami:
Yahoo!
(Cut back to the F4.)
Robin:
Anyway, are we going to have some kind of enemy to fight, or...?
Sanji:
Who needs an enemy when we have these uniforms?
Luffy:
I didn't know you were a fan of spandex.
Sanji:
I'm a fan of spandex on
Robin...
Zoro:
Dude. Sister.
Sanji:
Just because you don't understand our love doesn't make it wrong.
Zoro:
Actually, yeah, it does.
Sanji:
Hey, you would know a lot about things that are wrong, you shitty
rock.
Zoro:
What was that, sister-lover?
Luffy:
(He stretches his arm
as far as it'll go.) Wahoo! Look at that! It feels like
I'm wearing nothing at all!
Sanji
and Zoro:
... Don't say that...
Robin:
(She sighs.)
Anyway, we--oh! (She
looks up.)
Sanji:
-- Is that what I think it is?
Zoro:
No fair recycling old enemies. I turned that bastard to gold! (It's
the dragon from before, by the way.)
Robin:
It would seem the reset principle applies to auxiliary characters as
well, Master Thing.
Zoro:
Don't call me that...
Luffy:
Anyway, it's my turn this time, okay? I'm gonna kick that dragon
guy's ass!
(Cut to Nami, Usopp, and Chopper. They're playing Scrabble now.)
Nami:
There. "Treasure." That's... let's see... triple word
score... double word score... fifty extra points for using all my
letters... Your turn, Usopp!
Usopp:
Hmm... "qaxduzre." So I get a triple word score plus--
Nami:
Like hell you do! That's not a word.
Usopp:
Yes it is!
Nami:
No, you just made it up!
Usopp:
No way! I'll have you know a-- (He
glances at the board.) --qaxduzre--
Nami:
You can't even remember it!
Usopp:
--is a very fearsome kind of, uh... antelope. Carnivorous antelope with
horns like a thousand razors!
Chopper:
WHOA! Have you ever seen one in person?
Usopp:
I'm glad you asked! It just so happens that I fought a herd of them
in the--
Nami:
That doesn't work when
you're playing Scrabble!
(Cut back to the F4. Luffy is currently caught in the jaws of the dragon, which is shaking him around.)
Luffy:
What the hell! I beat a GOD!
It makes no logical sense for me to be defeated by a dragon!
Zoro:
(He steps up.)
Don't worry, Luffy! It's clobberin' time! (Beat.)
What?
Sanji:
(He doubles over
laughing.) Oh! Oh, that's rich! Say it again!
Zoro:
It's clobberin' time! (He
punches Sanji
squarely in the jaw.)
Robin:
Uh... (She'd help
Luffy,
but this is too amusing.)
Sanji:
Why you--!
Luffy:
Uh! Guys! A little help!
(Cut back to Nami, Usopp, and Chopper. They're playing Pictionary. Chopper is at the board, but the drawing looks like a nothing more than big solid rectangle. Every time the others make a guess, Chopper just shakes his head fiercely.)
Usopp:
Square!
Nami:
Rectangle!
Usopp:
Quadrilateral!
Nami:
Block! Blockhead! FOXY!
Usopp:
LUFFY!
Chopper:
(Bursting out.)
It's the Grand Line, you idiots! (Both
of them blink. They squint at the picture and turn their heads to
look at it from different angles.)
Nami:
... I don't see it.
Chopper:
It's a line! But it's GRAND! (He waves his arms demonstratively.)
Usopp:
... So "Luffy" was wrong?
Chopper:
YES "LUFFY" WAS WRONG!
(Cut back to the F4. Zoro has Sanji in a headlock, but Sanji has his foot poised over a very sensitive spot of Zoro's. Neither of them dares to move. Even the dragon is watching.)
Zoro:
I think we should call this one a draw.
Sanji:
No way.
Zoro:
I'll snap your head off.
Sanji:
Not if I snap your
"head" off first.
Robin:
Now, Master Thing, Master Human Torch--
Sanji:
Oh! Oh yeah! FLAME ON! (He
bursts into flames. Zoro
immediately lets him go and jumps back, patting his smoking clothes.)
Luffy:
WHOA! COOL! (The
dragon's eyes widen, and he quickly drops Luffy
and flies off.)
Zoro:
... Why would a dragon be afraid of fire?
Luffy:
Thanks, Sanji.
Robin:
You can extinguish yourself now, Master Human Torch.
Sanji:
Uh--no I can't! (He
shrieks, running in circles.) Oh god! I'm on fire! Help!
I'm on fire! (Luffy
and Zoro
double over, laughing and pointing.) What! It's not funny!
Help!
Robin:
Stop, drop, and roll, Master Human Torch! Stop, drop, and roll!
(Sanji
falls to the ground, flopping about frantically.)
(Cut back to Nami, Usopp, and Chopper. Nami has one card in her hand, Chopper has three, and Usopp has ten. There's another pile of cards in between the three of them.)
Nami:
Usopp, got any threes?
Usopp:
Go fish.
Voiceover: Will the Fantastic Four become the Fantastic Three Plus Char-broiled Friend? Are the Fantastic Four really all that Fantastic, anyway? Can Usopp win at Mahjongg? Is the Thing's thi--oh, right. Network television. Anyway, this and more, all next time! Don't miss it!
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A/N: It's been a really long time since I last played Scrabble, and I don't know where our board is or else I'd go check, but... I think you get seven tiles at a go, so building off of a word that's already there, I think both Nami's and Usopp's moves are possible, though I don't know about getting both double and triple word scores in one go. And obviously Usopp's would be invalid--you see, because "qaxduzre" is actually the Dutch name for the razor-horned antelopes, and foreign words aren't allowed (Chopper: Ohh!).
The Fantastic Four don't belong to me, either, but you knew that.
-- I forgot music in the fairy tale one. So. Alkaline Trio plus Last Days of April plus you equals OT3OMG!