Author's Notes: This story is somewhat based on The Disciple, the last episode we see Kitty in. I always thought that it sucked that Matt left Dodge and left Kitty behind, and I know he came back in the end, but still... So, here is what I decided happened after that.

Gunsmoke:After All This Time

Part 1

Matt Dillon re-holstered his gun and walked over to the body lying in the middle of the muddy street. The young man couldn't have been any older than twenty. He didn't know how much more of it he could take. He had been a lawman for over twenty years and was simply sick of it…the killing…the personal sacrifices. He looked up and around at the people crowding to get a glimpse of Jet Mitchell's lifeless body. "A couple of you men get him over to Percy's," his deep voice rumbled. How many times had he said that over the years? Turning around, he walked through the crowd and headed for the jail to write up a report. The unmistakable jangle of Festus's spurs could be heard and they were moving in behind him. Matt briefly closed his eyes in frustration, not wanting to deal with the ramblings of the hillbilly.

"Matthew, ya want me ta git Doc in here ta take look at yer arm?" Matt looked down at his arm as they entered the jail. He hadn't even realized that Mitchell had grazed him. His brow furrowed slightly. "Matthew?" Festus questioned again. Matt looked over to him and nodded.

"Yeah, Festus, I'd appreciate that," he said.

"Sure thang, Matthew." Matt watched as he hurried out of the office. He then turned around and walked over to his desk and pulled an official report form from the drawer. Sitting down, he filled in the date and before his pen could even touch the paper to begin the report, Burke stormed into the office.

"Marshal, come quick! There's a fight over at the Long Branch," he said and hurried back out the door. Matt sighed and dropped his pen onto the desk. It was always something.

MkM

An hour and a half later, he was sitting in Doc's office with his shirt off. He had finally made it over there after breaking up the fight and putting a few people in lockup. Doc tended to Matt's arm and he didn't even flinch when he cleaned the wound with alcohol. He simply sat, quietly looking forward. "Is Miss Hannah alright?" Doc asked as he began bandaging the arm.

"She's fine," Matt said. Doc watched him over the rim of his glasses. He wasn't the same Matt anymore. Something in him had changed dramatically and he was pretty sure he knew what it was.

"Matt…" Doc said as he handed him his shirt, "You've got to take a break. You haven't been yourself for quite sometime now." Matt put on his shirt, but didn't say anything. "You're gonna burn out, Matt. If you don't want that then you're gonna have to take a vacation." By now, Matt was finished dressing and he walked over to the door.

"Thanks, Doc," was all he said before leaving. The old man stood for a while longer just staring. It had been over a year since Kitty had left and everyday since then a small piece of Matt seemed to wither away. He was still a good marshal, but he seemed to be a little harder, as well. Doc could tell that his heart just wasn't in it anymore. It was somewhere in Louisiana.

KmK

Matt was up early the next morning finishing his report from the day before. Next, he wrote a quick note, sat it in the middle of his desk and stood to leave with Buck already packed and waiting for him. He had a telegram sent to Washington yesterday saying that he was taking a leave of absence and he wasn't waiting for permission. The town was barely awake and he wasn't going to even bother saying good-bye to anyone. Besides, the note would explain enough. Doc was right. He did need a break and he was going to take it. He had plenty of food to last him on the trail and when he ran out he would go to the closest town to restock. He just needed to be by himself for a while. He climbed onto Buck and rode out.

MkM

Three days later found him camped and about halfway to Wichita. The trip had been uneventful and he was grateful for that. He had done a little bit of hunting and even a little fishing on his trip so far, things he usually enjoyed, but they didn't hold the same pleasure as they used to. Matt had never in his life felt so discontent. Nothing was right anymore and he knew why. He had tried to push her out of his thoughts and he tried to tell himself that it was a good thing that she left. She would be safer. It was too hard to think about her, knowing that she wasn't there anymore and that he wouldn't be able to stop by and talk to her, kiss her, or make love to her. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. It was his own fault really. Maybe he took her presence for granted. In all of the years that they had been together, more times than not, she was understanding. Sure, there were a handful of times when she got fed up with him and his job, but even still, she never tried to force his hand. Kitty just wasn't that type of woman. Maybe he got too comfortable in thinking that she would always be there and when the day came that she wasn't, it hit like a bullet to the heart.

From the moment he took the job, Matt always felt the drive within to do it to the best of his ability. After Kitty had come to Dodge and they had gotten to know each other, he realized that her presence made it a little easier to fall asleep at night. Now that she wasn't there, sleep was pretty hard to come by. He always wondered what she was doing and he prayed that she stayed safe.

Matt poured the dregs of his coffee into the fire and got comfortable for sleep. Tomorrow he would keep heading south. He could be in Wichita by the end of the day and after that it would be on to Coffeyville. There was still a long ways to go.

To be continued...