A/N: So I know this is my third filler thingum in a row, but I really, super-duper wanted to update, if only to say that I hope you'll all bear with me: I'm having some personal issues right now, not to mention have had three (3) hard drives AND a modem die on me in the last month-ish (it's a gift, really). None of these things are very conducive to a finished product, I assure you.

Just to make sure we're square: I'm definitely not abandoning this. There's still some ideas I want to explore and some suggestions from y'all (hee, I said "y'all") that I want to try my hand at. If I'm lucky, I might have a little more free time and a little less stress in the near future, so I'll be able to sit down to this with a clear head and finally put up a real update.

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Uno was surprised and more than a little concerned to find his assistant already in his office when he arrived that morning. "What the hell are you doing here?" he asked.

"Shh!" she asked, without looking at him. She was sitting on the floor, utterly focused on the TV screen.

"Are you... playing a video game?"

"SHH!"

He noticed something on his desk then: a game cartridge. "One Piece Grand Battle?" He eyed her.

"DAMMIT!" she shouted suddenly, throwing the controller against the floor. She rounded on him, daggers in her eyes. "I was thisclose to unlocking Chopper and that was my last continue!"

"Unlocking Chopper?"

"Yeah. Vicious little bastard."

"Have you... slept?"

"Not recently, no. I just got it yesterday. I got Robin unlocked--I was on my second try against her, on my last life, with Kuro, but I beat her. Ha! I'm so awesome. I really thought I was a goner there. But now shut the hell up or get out. If I don't unlock Chopper this time, I will take it out on you."

"What... are you talking about?"

"SHUT UP!"

Uno was getting irritated. He was used to his assistant being a little demented sometimes, but seriously. This was his office. He lit a cigar. "What is that music that's playing?"

"It's the 4Kids rap. Another reason to own this game. Now I can listen to it any time I want."

"Do you... often want to listen to it?"

"No, but if I did, here it is."

"I don't understand you."

"SHH. Ahh, hell. Quit distracting me!"

"Listen, I got a fax straight from the higher-ups and they're not happy with our progress. Everything's behind schedule. They're threatening to--"

"Is this the face of someone who cares?"

He blinked. She wasn't usually so abrupt. "No, it's the back of the head of someone who needs to."

"Freaking Sanji you whore stop that! AAAAARGH! I'm supposed to beat you! I hate you, motherf--"

Uno blinked again, then sighed, exhaling a small cloud of smoke. He would go downstairs for a few minutes, devise a plan to extract the controller from her hands once and for all (possibly it would have to involve the Jaws of Life), and make her go lie down somewhere for several hours until she regained at least a small measure of sanity. Looking on the bright side, he decided, he had some change in his pocket; if he was lucky, the vending machine would have some of those Grandma's cookies he liked so much. Chocolate chip, especially, though peanut butter would do.

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A/N: It's true. It's all true. I'd heard some squeeing about the game from a fellow fan--not for anything ground-breaking, but for the sheer entertainment value it has. Especially Sanji's pimpin' white suit, and the little dance he does when you play him against Nami or Robin.

(I feel it only fair to mention I'm by no means a gamer. This is the first new game I've played since Sonic 3 came out on Sega Genesis.)

Except that little bastard, swear to god. More than anyone, for some reason, if I don't beat him right away, I get stuck in this endless trap of round after round. He was the last battle I played as Don Krieg when I was working on unlocking Robin, and I went in with all my continues and I still could not beat him. Bizarrely, also, I find it a piece of cake to beat hard mode with Nami, but I struggle in easy mode with even more powerful characters. In that vein, it was a bitch and a half to beat easy mode with Usopp. What gives, Usopp? I think it has something to do with the fact that you want to play him (or possibly should play him) in a more defensive mode, and I just can't fight like that. That's one thing Luffy and I have in common, at least in video game-land: I just have to go in and whale on 'em until they die or I die or we both die. I am, in fact, a master strategerist. But then going against Usopp, if you don't stay right up on him the whole time, he will "Shuriken Shooting Stars!" the crap out of you.

While I'm rambling, I have to say I'm a little confused. I hadn't seen a whole episode of the TV version until a couple of weeks ago, when I got a TiVo of my own, because I am incapable of remembering to watch things, so this is the first time I'm hearing most of these characters speak. I should have expected it, since Wapol has a Russian accent but no one else on Drum does, and I knew about Sanji's Joisey accent. But. Pearl is a surfer? Gen is... I don't even know what that is. Russian? Scottish? And, unrelated to the game since she's hardly spoken in it, and also not to be a Cliché Anime Fan™, but I cannot stand listening to Tashigi speak. She just sounds so flat and bored, like the voice actress would rather be anywhere else but in the recording studio. Not to mention that, more so than others I've seen, they seem to have completely changed her character.

So this doesn't devolve into a "I hate the dub" fest, there are some things I think they got right. For example, I'd heard complaints about Robin being southern, but it's nothing overt. It's just a bit of a drawl, which makes her sound more laid-back and self-assured, which I think works for her. Also, while Chopper is no longer Pikachu (and that's sad), there's something strangely adorable about this one's voice anyway. Maybe it's just Chopper, I dunno. I also like Zoro--sorry, Zolo's, Nami's, and for some reason, Kuro's, too, to name a few. And I guess I can overlook at least a percentage of the puns, even though some of them are downright painful. As long as there are some day uncut DVD season box sets, I'm a happy camper.

Also, I heard they had skipped Little Garden and therefore Miss Goldenweek and Mr. 3 (I wonder if they plan on including him later? Probably not. Laboon got turned into an iceberg, after all), but they're in the game as options for Robin's seconds. Except Miss Goldenweek is Ms. April Fool's Day. I dunno, I think Ms. Labor Day or something would have been more fitting/clever for her. Maybe that's just me.

Um. That's the end to my blathering. Comments/criticism/flaming flames of hatred and doom welcome. Well, okay, not the last one. Don't be mean. Not that anyone has been. But. Anyway. GOODBYE. Until hopefully not very long from now.