One Step Closer

There was not a single shred of doubt in his mind that commander Kolya had tortured him. After blacking out a couple of days ago, Ignatius was feeling awkward. Sitting on his cot, he knew that there were more memories surfacing and he had no idea what to make of them.

In each and every one of them he saw himself as John Sheppard and each time it felt as if he was reaching for something and yet every time he would come up short. The one now floating through his mind intrigued him. Even with all the doubts present, Ignatius felt like he was still of the Genii and that there must have been a mistake.

What had happened while he had blacked out? He had absolutely no idea and yet at the same time it felt strange. It had never lasted so long before. These damned memories were invading his senses again. He was still in the same cell as before and still in pain, with Kolya smiling down on him. All he really wanted to do was to kick that smile off the man's face.

He looked around, finding he was sitting on the floor, resting his back against the wall behind him. Kolya was seated in a chair on the other side of the room, far out of his reach and the ever present smile, "I have a better idea Major, there's a process I have used in the past. It has been almost perfect, not all subjects are equally as strong. But I am pretty sure that by the time we're done you will call yourself of the Genii. You will follow every command I give you and by the time this is over, you'll be dead and I'll have Atlantis." The evil laughter he had expected didn't come which was a small relieve.

"You'll never turn me!"

"That might be the case, Major, but first you do me some favors. Willingly."

"I don't think so."

Kolya had reached the end of his short amount of patience he had when he had the pleasure to torture a future Genii and got to make his way over to where John was sitting against the wall. "I don't care about what you think Major. Once you agree to work with us, you will bring Dr. Weir to me. She will be a compensation for all that you have done to us. And maybe ... something else too."

Anger shot through his veins, and in one sudden but rather fluent movement, Sheppard forced himself to get up and tried to hit Kolya. But instead he could only struggle against the unexpected hands that held him down, forcing him to kneel in front of Kolya like a slave to his master's feet.

Kolya approached and grabbed John's hair, pulling his head back and giving him his most nasty smile, "Worried about your Commander, Major Sheppard? Well... you should, because when you bring her to me, I will break her in so many ways that you won't be able to recognize her once I'm through with her."

What happened next happened so fast that he hadn't seen it coming if he had been able to. Kolya slammed his fist into John's face. The darkness that followed was expected and almost welcoming, but it gave more questions to Ignatius. Was he really a member of the Genii or was he in fact Major John Sheppard?

No! Ignatius, Ignatius is my name. I am from the Genii. I am Ignatius of the Genii. He repeated the words in his head as if it were a recording. It felt like a recording... a recording... Damn it! Now he was confused. There was something going on, he knew it for sure. There was something wrong with him, with his mind. It was weird how the anger didn't come from within but Ignatius himself felt like doing some major damage to Kolya.

The memories were becoming stronger and Ignatius could actually feel it, the pain was overcoming his senses as another memory took over. Blows, kicks and punches coming from everywhere. Then without reason they stopped and all he could was cough, feeling blood in his mouth. In between the pain he looked up and there he was, his commander, his torment.

He was barely able to breathe, he couldn't even sit up straight, but Kolya's shadow was hovering near. "Major Sheppard, either you tell me what I want to know or I will promise you that I will beat you within an inch of death, nurse you back to health and repeat the whole process again."

He kept silent; he wasn't going to give Kolya that pleasure.

Wait! What pleasure? Kolya was supposed to be his commander, not his enemy. Something was happening; maybe these people were trying to confuse him into believing he wasn't of the Genii. Maybe they were the ones doing all this torturing. But if the dreams... the memories were true, it would mean that he was in fact Major John Sheppard.

No! That couldn't be. He was Ignatius of the Genii. They only wanted to confuse him. He knew that in order to clear up the anger building up inside of him, Ignatius had to return to the Genii home world.

He needed to get out of his cell but looking around Ignatius knew he would need a little outside help. It had to be night already, because there were only three soldiers outside the cell, not the usual five. A door opened and someone walked in, Ignatius recognized her as one of the doctors, Dr. Heightmeyer. She carried a notebook and placed a chair in front of the cell. "Good evening, Ignatius."

Ignatius looked at her with little to no interest, "Have they finally gave up and sent you instead?"

She didn't show him any emotion as she replied, "I have a job to do, and we need our ranking military officer back."

Ignatius stared at the doctor, "I see what you want, you want to turn me against my people. You want to confuse me so I'll tell you things."

Kate stared back, "What have we done to make you think that? We only want the real you back."

"John Sheppard was not real." Ignatius didn't really know, why he was insisting on convincing them he wasn't their Major while in his mind doubts were building. But he decided to play the game their way and maybe he would be able to take something from them.

Kate started to look through her notebook and took out a small piece of paper, "Let's review a few things here. You are Major John Sheppard, US Air Force. You are the son of Colonel James Sheppard, who is a decorated Cold War officer. You got stationed at Antarctica after disobeying a direct order from your superiors in a mission in Afghanistan. You possess the ancient gene and you were reported missing in action four months ago, after an ambush off-world."

Ignatius glared at her, "I already knew that."

Kate stared back; she really wanted to know how far into his new persona the man on the other side of the cell was. "I have a few questions."

"I won't answer them."

Kate wrote something in her notebook and looked up at Ignatius, "I'm not interrogating you, just a few simple questions. I just want you to answer the first thing that comes to mind."

Ignatius gave her a small smirk, and cocked his head to the side, "Right... the whole doctor thing."

Kate rolled her eyes, noticing the Major's humor had survived after all. She pushed the thought to the back of her mind and continued, "Where are you?"

Ignatius' brow furrowed, "What?"

"Just answer the question. Where are you?"

Ignatius sat straighter on his cot, "In a cell."

"Where is this cell?"

"Atlantis."

"Where were you born?"

"The Genii home world."

"Who is Steve?"

"A Wraith."

"What's a puddle jumper?"

"A small ship that fits through the gate, hence the name puddle jumper."

"Why did you leave your work at the SGC?"

"I never worked at the SGC."

Ignatius was feeling confused by the questions but the doctor didn't give him time to think. And she continued with more force or so it seemed. "Why did your father break with you?"

"He hated me after Afghanistan." The answer came so natural, that Ignatius had to blink for a second. He stopped and gave his answer a second thought, but she didn't give him time to really understand it all, she kept pushing, "What is your name?"

"Major John Sheppard, US Air Force." Ignatius couldn't believe he had just answered with the one name who claimed wasn't his.

Kate looked at him with interest and continued, "I thought you were Ignatius."

Ignatius got up and walked straight towards Kate, who couldn't deny she was feeling uncomfortable even though the man couldn't reach her. "What the hell are you doing?" He started pacing back and forth, "You want to turn me!"

Kate closed her notebook and got up as well, "No, I just wanted to show you that you might be wrong in believing that Ignatius is real. Just think about it, there must be holes in the story of your life, while John Sheppard's life is complete. You should understand that there is something wrong going on in your mind. I have seen you, you talk in your sleep, and you talk as John Sheppard not as Ignatius."

This was starting to feel more and more like when McKay had talked to him. Why did it affect him so much? He knew now why, they were trying to use him. "You are trying to confuse me, I am from the Genii."

"Then what happened two days ago? When Dr. McKay was here, I saw you talking to him as John Sheppard."

"No."

Kate shook her head a little and decided to change her tactics, "Do you dream?"

Ignatius felt the whole thing was absurd, "What's that have to do with this?"

"Just answer the question, do you dream?"

Ignatius was starting to loose his patience, "Why do you care what I dream about?"

"So, you dream. What happens in these dreams?"

Ignatius remained silent, but Kate pressed on, "Does Commander Kolya appears in them? Ignatius didn't answer, feeling incredibly confused. "Does he hurt you in these dreams?"

Ignatius stopped his pacing and gave Kate his most ugly glare, "I do not dream!" He was getting really tired of the whole thing. "I am not this John Sheppard. I will not repeat it again, I am not John Sheppard!" To give his statement a little extra power, Ignatius kicked his cot hard enough to break it.

Kate jumped at the sudden display of violence and tried effortlessly to calm the man down again. "Ignatius, please calm down."

Ignatius felt like taking all his frustrations and anger out on the cot. He really needed to clear his mind and figure out what was really going on with him. He knew the doctor was right, but he wasn't going to be able to clear his confusion of his real identity with them in the neighborhood. He had to go back to the place he loved during the day and despised while he was asleep. He needed to return to the Genii.

Ignatius kicked the small cot with all his might, a plan already forming in his confused mind. Maybe the doctor wanted to talk to John Sheppard... maybe she would.

Kate knew that no matter how aggressive Ignatius would become, they couldn't afford opening the cell, "Please Ignatius, we don't want to hurt you."

The small cot was now broken, Ignatius grabbed one of its metal legs and started smacking the shield with it. By now Kate had forgotten all about her plan, "John, stop it!"

And to everyone's surprise, he did stop. Ignatius fell to his knees, the metal leg in his hands. He was looking at it with a peculiar interest. Kate noticed the sharp edge of the item in John's hand.

Then he suddenly spoke up, "I can't do this anymore, Doctor. I don't want to close my eyes and relive all the tortures Kolya put me through."

Kate blinked and did a double take, "John? John, you have to fight it. Please, let me help."

"You cannot help me." John didn't take his eyes off the sharp metal in his hands. Then without any warning, he placed it in his neck, right by his jugular, "I don't want to live like this anymore."

Kate's mind was racing. She couldn't let John take his own life for the only reason that she was too scared to open the cell. She desperately looked at Sgt. Stackhouse, "Open the cell, don't use the stunners unless it is absolutely necessary."

Stackhouse hesitated, "Doctor?"

"Open it up, now!" Deep down Kate knew it was wrong, it could be a trap but she had to take that chance.

The moment the door opened, Kate walked in slowly towards the kneeling figure of John. He still had the sharp metal against his neck. Stackhouse approached slowly from the side, his stunner at the ready.

Kate tried to make eye contact, "John, please look at me, you don't have to do this." She noticed the metal was already cutting John skin and had to swallow. She really needed to make some contact with him if she wanted him to surrender the metal rod. But before she could even say another word, John swung the metal in his hands and slammed it against the back of Stackhouse's knees. The young airman buckled over and landed hard against the floor, his head hitting the chair Kate had been using, knocking him unconscious.

He acted so fast that nobody was prepared for what came next. John grabbed Kate's wrist, snatched her pen out of her hand and pulled her close to him, stabbing her twice in the ribs right under her arm. Kate screamed in pain as the now obvious Ignatius grabbed her by her neck and pointed the bloody pen to her main vein.

Ignatius looked frantically around the room; there were two more soldiers to deal with. They were pointing their stunners at him, trying to find the best shot.

Ignatius in turn pressed the bloody pen tighter against Kate's vein and shouted, "Careful! If you try to stun me I'll have enough strength to do one last strike. You'll only condemn this nice doctor to death. I swear either of you try anything and this goes straight into her neck!"

All color had drained from Kate's face and she was paralyzed with fear, hoping the men were not going to shoot. The two airmen looked at each other, their movements slow and calculated. One of them tried to turn his radio on, while the other moved slightly to the side to try to get a clear shot at Ignatius.

But they had underestimated him and before they could react, Ignatius dropped the pen and grabbed Stackhouse's 9mm. In one movement he shot them both without a second thought.

Ignatius still had a firm grip on the doctor; feeling his victim shaking slightly and seeing a red stain appear on her shirt. Ignatius used her as a shield and moved with her towards the exit. Once outside he headed towards the transporter, pressing the destination he wanted to go. He smacked the doctor on the back of her head with his gun and walked out when the doors opened, leaving a very unconscious Heightmeyer in the small space.

From the transporter he cautiously made his way into the Gate room. He managed to stay out of sight and when he finally walked into the control area, there were only a few people around. There were two technicians typing away on the consoles and two soldiers by the gate. Ignatius made his move and walked towards the technicians. He took them completely by surprise and in a just two seconds flat they were lying on the floor out cold.

Ignatius looked through the screens. He knew if he activated the gate that there was little to no chance of actually getting through. A plan started forming in his mind as he looked through the city's life sensors. He saw what he needed to see and by that time the two soldiers downstairs had noticed Ignatius. They were quickly making their way towards him, one of them activating his radio on the way.

Before running off, Ignatius did the one thing he could think off, shutting down the console that regulated the life sensors, making him invisible to them and making it harder for them to find him.