They had been working on the console for more that an hour without a single result, bringing their frustrations to unknown heights. Zelenka was taking readings on a computer while Peter was working with the panels and the topside of the console. Rodney had somehow managed to get under it to work with the interface cables and the consoles inside but so far not even someone with the ancient gene could turn it on. Everyone was so engrossed into their work that when Rodney suddenly cursed out loud, they all jumped up startled. "Damn it, Sheppard!"
A minute later, Rodney squeezed out from underneath the console and pulled himself up from the floor. Once he was up he quickly had to reach out for a chair so he could sit down and prohibit the dizziness from taking over completely. His injury was stinging and the pain was creeping up again. This time, however, he didn't know if he could deal with it on top of everything else. He heard his name being called from really far away and turned in the direction of the voice only half registering what was said. Dr. Zelenka and Sgt. Bates were looking at him, worry visible in their eyes. "Dr. McKay, are you feeling ok?"
Rodney looked up and took a deep breath, wincing slightly as his body objected. "Did any of the teams find anything?"
"No, but we're still looking. There are three teams out and three that are about to go into unexplored sections. Don't worry, we will find them." Bates, who still had his arm in a sling, took the sling off and stretched his arm slowly, testing its use. He winced and his face momentarily filled with pain. He looked back at Rodney, who he noticed was looking worse by the minute.
Zelenka immediately stopped working and almost ordered Rodney to go to the infirmary, "Come on Rodney, you're no use to us if you drop dead. Go to Dr. Beckett, maybe you can come back and help us later."
"Do I have to remind you that crazy psychopath "Ignatius" is loose in the city with Elizabeth Weir as his hostage? Who knows what he'll do to her!"
Bates cut the conversation short, "Dr. McKay, there's people searching already. Lt. Ford is gathering a new group as we speak. Go to the infirmary, we'll keep you informed!"
Right then another stabbing pain went through McKay's chest and send him bending until his face almost touched his knees. There he noticed a small stain forming on his jacket, which he immediately recognized as blood, his blood. His mind went into overload and as a result he decided for the best to leave for the infirmary. As discreetly as he could he sat up straight and got up, crossed his arms over his chest to block the small stain and excused himself. "Ok, but please stay in radio contact."
He reached the infirmary without fainting for which he thanked every god in the universe. As he walked in he spotted Carson looking over someone's chart. Rodney looked around the infirmary, which was now almost at its full capacity. Carson spotted Rodney by the door and immediately walked towards him. Rodney was still covering his chest when Carson arrived at his side, "How's Kate doing?"
Carson's face turned grim, "Not so good, she went into shock shortly after we brought her here. She had a punctured lung, which we were able to fix. She's resting now."
"What about the others?"
"Stackhouse had a concussion and a sprained knee. Airman Cortez has a bullet wound to the chest near his collarbone. He was very lucky; the bullet missed a lot of dangerous areas. And Sgt. Hatfield is in critical condition with a wound to the stomach," Carson looked Rodney over, "What about you?"
"Well..." Rodney hesitated for a second, "I have to show you something," he moved further into the infirmary, with Carson close behind. Once he was far enough and sure nobody else could hear them, Rodney put his arms down and opened his jacket. When Carson saw the bloodstain on the scientist's shirt he scoffed, "Oh, damn it Rodney! Why can't you come straight to me? When did this happen?"
"I don't know, I just noticed it." Rodney didn't dare to look up at Carson, knowing he was right, and kept his gaze fixed on the wall behind the Doctor.
Carson was visible angry, "Take that damned jacket off!" Once Rodney took the jacket off, Carson snapped, the whole front of the shirt was covered in blood and he had a smaller stain on the back. "That's it; I'm keeping you here until the end of the month!"
Rodney's eyes went wide. "No!" he uttered desperately, "I'm needed back at the command center, so just change the bandage and I'll be on my way!"
Carson was about to snap again at Rodney when a call came from the gate room.
-0-0-0-0-
Elizabeth was lying on the floor, deadly still. He still couldn't believe what he had just done. His mind was on overload and all he could do was move away to the opposite wall. He pressed his knees to his chest. In his mind she had died when she had gasped for that last bit of air. She was dead and he had killed her. He covered his face with his hands as involuntarily tears starting running.
This was no longer a matter about which he was, John or Ignatius. It didn't matter anymore. He had killed her. His mind was racing. He looked around and found the gun he had taken earlier from Stackhouse. That reminded him of the mess he made down at the brig. He had hurt all those people ... Cortez, Hatfield, Stackhouse, and Kate Heighmeyer.
It was at that moment that he understood it had always been him. Ignatius, John, they were the same person. He couldn't explain it but he knew it was the only way. No matter who he was he had always the feeling of someone wanting to brainwash him. With that feeling in mind he grabbed the gun and stared at it. Maybe it was better to end it all than to deal with the mess in his head. After all, he wasn't strong enough. That had now been proven to him.
He placed the gun against his forehead and closed his eyes, tightly. And there he stayed, feeling the cold metal against his head. He couldn't stand the overwhelming feeling he had within him. But then it started to make sense, all of it as if he had finally found the switch to the proverbial light bulb. He watched as he saw himself being ambushed near the Stargate, being beaten and interrogated. After that everything changed, they started doing different things; they tried to make him feel inferior, the recordings, the electrical shocks, and the ice baths. Until that day, where all they did was putting a device on his head and everything went to hell. That day everything changed.
He put the gun down and stroked his beard, thinking. Kolya... that bastard was going to pay, one way or another. He knew that killing Kolya wouldn't erase all the atrocities he had just committed. But it would give satisfaction to his heart the knowledge and the memory of seeing Kolya dying by his hand. And finally figuring out for certain the feeling that he was, and would always be in fact John Sheppard.
It was Kolya's fault that he had caused all the damage he'd done. To a bunch of people that didn't even deserve such pain and fear. He looked at Elizabeth once more. Her limp body was what screamed to him to settle things right, at least for just this once.
His mind slowly came up with a suitable plan of how he was going to do this mission. He wasn't sure about the whole idea just yet but since he was constantly reminded of going back to the Genii home world he thought it might just be the place to start from. With that thought in mind he got up, walked towards Elizabeth and gently picked her up, carrying her in his arms he walked out.
Up, down, then through a transport, until he reached the entrance of the jumper bay. Right at the door, two soldiers were standing guard blocking his way in. He decided to turn around without making noise and alert to the two and find the other entrance few people knew about. He made his way through a dark hallway, where he had to evade one of the teams. They had a life signs detector, which meant they would find him soon if he didn't keep moving. Then he found the door he was looking for and walked into the deserted Jumper bay. He quickly made his way to the closest jumper available and walked inside, placing Elizabeth on the bench in the back of the jumper. He took a seat in front and quickly turned the jumper on, remembering all too well how to fly one of them. He looked to the center of the bay and opened the hatch in the floor through which he could reach the gate room.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
Radek Zelenka and Peter Grodin were still working on the console when suddenly one of the panels came to life. Both men looked up and stared at the screen. Grodin pressed some keys of the console to get the life sensors online, but instead they heard a shout coming from the gate room.
Zelenka got up and looked down where Sgt. Bates was looking up, "Raise the shield!"
The gate activated and before Grodin or Zelenka could reach the shield activation button the jumper was in the room and halfway through the gate. All happened in just a couple of seconds and before anyone could react properly the jumper disappeared through the open wormhole.
Bates ran up the stairs and shouted, "Where did he go?"
Zelenka looked to another computer screen nearby and saw the address before the gate shut down. When silence returned, Zelenka glanced at Bates, not really believing what he had as answer, "The Genii home world."