June 27th, Thursday

Hours spent crying: 0 (yes!); hours spent tanning in the garden: 5; hours spent snuggled up beside Remus: 5; hours spent watching Remus sleep while pretending to read: 2 ½; solid meals that stayed in my stomach: 2 (Yay, aother improvement for 100 per cent); hours spent walking around in the rain: 1; articles of clothing ruined by doing so: 3

Woke up at the crack of dawn (7 o'clock according to my muggle clock), all warm and in Remus' arms tightly. I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think I fell asleep in this position. Was now with my back to him on my side, his arms slung around my belly, his face buried in my hair (my natural one, always jump back to natural when feeling completely at ease). Felt so good that, even though couldn't fall asleep again, stayed in bed for a few more minutes. Had to go to the loo at nine, though.

Returned and found I couldn't sleep anymore, so I just grabbed a book and climbed into bed. Another advantage at having a man in your bed: It doesn't get cold while you're at the loo.

Noticed it was yet another stupid romance novel, but tried to read it anyway. By the time I'd gotten past the initial description of the heroine's beauty and miserable situation, being an orphan raised by a strange old lady who forced her to make pottery all the time and sell them on the market, was so terribly revolted by the book I threw it at the wall. It landed with a loud thud, and I was afraid I could've woken Remus, 'cause that would end in him getting up, and that's the last thing I wanted. Watched him for a while. He looked really calm and peaceful, and the best I'd seen him in months. There were no crinkles, no sorrowful frown on his forehead, no dark circles under his eyes. He was just sleeping, and I had the suspicion he hadn't slept so much in months. Usually he is the last one to go to bed, and the first one up, and since his room is next to mine, I can often hear him get up in the middle of the night, sometimes pacing around for hours. So it's really a miracle that he has slept now for almost ten hours straight. Yay, am wonderful sleep witch that radiates so much warmth and love and comfort that people can sleep well around me. Started making plans for how to use that, then decided I would provide this special service only to Remus. Realized this sounds strange.

Kept watching him for a little while - about three hours or so… Some time, I got up and picked up the book to have an excuse in case he would wake up. Didn't want to look like an idiot staring at him. Even if I am. He doesn't need to know.

At twelve I became aware of my grumbling stomach. Got up to see if I could get myself something to eat. Met Molly in the kitchen, preparing some soup.

"Good morning Tonks, did you sleep until now?"

"No, I already woke up at seven, but I stayed in bed reading. Is there anything to eat here?"

"I made some soup. You can eat it here, or take something up with you."

"Yeah, that would be better." I poured me some coffee, and Molly started rummaging for a smaller pot, chatting lightly, obviously happy to have some company.

"Have you heard anything from Remus yet?" Flinched and dropped my mug. Molly cleaned it up with a quick swish of her wand.

"I mean, he hasn't come to breakfast, and I haven't seen him today, but I don't think he's away. Could you be a darling and see if he's in his room? And when you find him, send him down. He has to eat something, that man is getting thinner and thinner." I nodded, knowing very well that Remus wasn't in his room. Then I had an idea.

"You know, I could bring some soup up for him, too."

"That's a good idea. Maybe he's sick or something, then he doesn't have to get up." She poured some more soup into the pot, then handed it to me along with two plates and spoons and a small bread.

"Please be careful on the stairs, dear.", she reminded me. Nodded and hurried out of the kitchen.

When I entered my room, found that Remus was still there. Was very relieved and watched him some more. He's actually not bad looking. Not the stunningly handsome type that Sirius was, but there's a mature attractiveness to him. He looks younger now that his face has smoothed, and the way his hair falls into his face makes him look both boyish and vulnerable. All of a sudden, his eyes snapped open and he shot up, looking around confused. I left him a moment to retrieve his memory.

"Good morning, Remus. Did you sleep well?" He obviously remembered where he was, or why he was here, and fell back into the pillows, yawning widely.

"I slept wonderful. The best in months. I actually feel as if I had a full night's sleep again."

I couldn't help but giggle.

"Actually, you slept for 13 hours straight."

"I did what! That's impossible, I never sleep more than five hours."

"I think you just broke your own record. Care for lunch? I brought up some soup."

"Of course. I love having breakfast – or lunch – in bed." I walked over and settled on the bed comfortably while he started pouring soup into the plates. We ate quietly for awhile.

"Thank you for letting me sleep here. I don't know why, but it really helped me calm down." I smiled at him.

"Anytime."

"Actually, I think that would be awkward. I mean, okay, we're only friends, but I can't sneak out and sleep in your bed all the time. Someone would notice, and the others would start talking. "

"Actually, it was more like a polite "anytime"." No it wasn't. I would let him sleep here every night for the rest of my life. I've never felt this good. Sigh.

"Sure, sure. Well, I think I'll go get ready and see what I have to do today." Utter admiration changed to raging envy in a matter of seconds. It's so unfair that I can't do anything but sit and wait around here.

Well, might as well go to the garden.

It's raining. Might go out and try to get myself sick. At least then people would start fretting over me again, and I wouldn't be so bored.

Spent an hour dancing in the rain, then got bored and went in again to take a bath. Maybe I could do this muggle thing called wellness, mix myself a face mask, light scented candles and charm some objects to massage me. That would be nice.

Couldn't find any of the things I needed. This is after all a men's household, and the things Molly brings along are usually practical and connected to food. Couldn't think of any spells to transfigure some spoons or cookies into scented candles. Really, life sucks.

Will go to bed, even though it's empty and cold.