This song is based on an Irish drinking lay, 'Johnny Jump-Up.' Enjoy, and think of it whenever you look at hard cider.

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LonLon Cider
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I'll tell you a story that happened to me,
On the day I went down to Hyrule City.
The sun, it was bright. And the day, it was warm.
A quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm.

I went in and called for a bottle of stout.
Says the barman, "I'm sorry, all of that is sold out.
Try whiskey, try brandy, made o'er in the Wood."
Says I, "I'll try cider, I hear that it's good."

--Chorus--
Oh never, oh never, oh never again.
If I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten.
I fell to the ground, flat on my derriere,
After drinking a quart of the LonLon Cider.

So after the third I went out on the yard.
Ran into Mutoh the big city guard.
"Come 'ere to me boy, don't you know I'm the Law?"
"Yep," and my fist, it shattered his jaw.

He fell to the ground, his knees in the air.
I didn't hit him, t'was the LonLon cider.
The next thing I see round of Hyrule City,
A man on the ground, all done up in green.

"Sell something, sell something, sell something to me.
Don't hesitate, just use the ole' 'C'."
I look at him a bit, then see that he's drunk.
So I run off real quick, 'fore I sell him my junk.

Chorus

I go down the side road to see what was there.
A man prancing round, with clothes all a'flare.
He was drunk, too, so I raised a little Hell.
Before I could blink, he was locked in a cell.

I head back to the main road, the ladies to flirt.
But they scorned me, one an' all, so then I was hurt.
"What's wrong with this place, is there stuff in the air?"
"No," says a man, "It's the LonLon Cider."

A man died on the Mountain, because of his flab.
They brought him back down, laid him onto a slab.
And after this weird guy, him measurements did take,
The wife took him home for a bloody fine wake.

Around twelve o'clock and the beer it was high.
So the corpse sat him up and he says with a sigh.
"The Goddesses block me, I can't get up there,
Till I bring 'em a quart of the LonLon Cider."

If you ever go down to Hyrule City
Stay out of the tavern, oh take it from me.
'Specially if you think there's stuff in the air.
It's not that, it's a fresh keg, full of LonLon Cider.

Chorus