Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, only the story. Lyrics by Aqualung. Post HBP, lots of angst and making out. Mmm angst. Year 1 - 5 are direct quotes from the corresponding books.

I've been watching your world from afar. I've been trying to be where you are.

And I've been secretly falling apart unseen .To me, you're strange and you're beautiful.

You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see. You turn every head but you don't see me.

Year 1

"You'll soon find out some Wizarding families are much better than others, Potter. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there." Dirty glares given that mousy know-it-all mudblood. She'd split his pants one day during Magical Creatures, and he tried to turn her a strange color in Potions. It was loathing at first sight.

Year 2

"The last time The Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died. So it's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me... I hope it's Granger." Ill will had grown to downright hatred. And the mousy mudblood kept getting the better of him.

Year 3

"Ahh, come to watch the show?" "YOU FOUL, LOATHSOME, EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH!" That year ended with a broken nose and a smug little mudblood. Someone needed to put her in her place.

Year 4

"Twitchy little ferret, aren't you, Malfoy?" He'd been humilated like never before, and that horrible little bitch had seen it all. She spent most of that year gloating at his misfortune and her friend's success.

Year 5

"I know prefects can't dock points from each other, but members of the Inquisitional Squad – " "The what?" "The Inquisitional Squad, Granger, a select group of students who are supportive of the Ministry of Magic, hand-picked by Professor Umbridge. Anyway, members of the Inquisitional Squad do have the power to dock points… so, Granger, I'll have five from you for being rude about our new Headmistress. Macmillan, five for contradicting me. Five because I don't like you, Potter. Wallasey, your shirt's untucked, so I'll have another five for that. Oh yeah, I forgot, you're a mudblood, Granger, so ten off for that." She'd had her comeuppance, and yet somehow she ended the year as the victor in their yearly struggle of will and wits. He was starting to despise that dirty mudblood. And the fact she was turning into a lovely young woman with no more mousy hair and bushy eyebrows did not help the matter; it was one less thing he could use to insult her. He just wished she would die.

Year 6

She rarely bothered to grace him with even the slightest insult, and he had little time to invest in stirring the pot. Fear had overtaken his life, dread and darkness. Every minute he was awake, he was in constant fear of what might happen to his mother, or himself. He fled Hogwarts that night, but something in him told him this would not be the last he would see of this place...and his nemesis Hermione Granger.

Year 7

Hermione woke with a start. An audible groan slipped from her hoarse throat as she tried to sit up in bed. The mattress was wanting in the comfort department, hard and sharp spring ridden. In the darkness, it took a minute or two before she recalled the events of the previous night. She could hear Harry off somewhere in the distance of the room, still asleep from the sound of his ragged shallow breathing. Rubbing cautiously at the back of her head, tendrils of shockingly short hair tangled their way about her slender fingers. Her head hurt, ached with a bruise that would no doubt remain for weeks to come. As more light shed upon her half sleepy daze, she choked on a sob and began to crawl around in an attempt to find Harry. Her matress had been on the floor, and her knees scraped along the rough hard surface now as she finally found his bed. Remembering her wand, she dug through her pockets to find it, quickly holding it up and whispering "Lumos!" as the room lit faintly. Harry lay barely a foot from her, sleeping. His face was swollen and bloody, lip split and two fingers were taped together to keep themfrom paining him. Broken if she recalled correctly. A trembling hand reached forward, she stroked his hair from his eyes and sighed. The Order had suffered a great loss last night, and the course of the war had been forever altered. But she could not think about that now, Harry was still here, and somewhere in the house she would undoubtedly find Severus Snape, Remus Lupin and Fred & Ginny Weasley. She left Harry to sleep, finally finding the strength to rise to her feet and make her way out of the room.

Outside her door was a hallway. Seemed to go on endlessly in either direction, but she turned to the left without any sign of contemplation, as if she had walked it a million times before. In truth she had travelled it alot, although a million might be slight exaggeration. With her wand still out before her, she walked past 4 doors, before knocking three times on the fifth door. It opened on command, revealing the flicker of a small fireplace. Gathered around sat the remaining members of The Order of the Phoenix. Remus looked up at her, his face ragged and worn. He had been crying, no doubt over the loss of his love Tonks. She fought back that sob again. It had been horrible, flashes in her memory of last night fighting to resurface. His face was slashed and his clothing was shabbier than ever. Beside him sat Ginny, gently stroking her brother's hair as he slept on the floor next to her. Fred looked better for the wear, but his left arm was missing a rather vital item...a hand. Where it once had been now there was a bloodied bandage, wrapped about the stump with great care. Ginny smiled weakly at Hermione, before placing her attention on Fred once more. And then there was Snape. He sat rigidly beside the fire, his back to the others. His robes were pulled tight over his hunched shoulders, and he looked as greasy as ever. The firelight flickered dimly in his black eyes, reflecting back nothingness.

Hermione pasued before joining them all by the fire. Snape slid just a bit, to give her room to seat herself, giving her a silent knowing look before returning his contemplation to the flames. Ginny was the first to break the awkward silence. She spoke softly to Hermione.

"How is Harry? I would have been up there with him, but well...he needed to sleep and Fred needed his sister."

"I understand. S'ok Gin, he is still sleeping. And his scar has closed again. He seems to be alright now, under his own control." She cast a glance to Snape as she said that." Thank you Severus. You saved our lives. He didn't...it wasn't his fault...he was under..." She stopped, choking again as the sobs finally broke free. Crumpling onto the floor beside Ginny, she began to weep. Those memories flooded her and she closed her eyes, feeling the room spin.

Voldemort stood looming over them, Ron Weasley on the floor at his feet. He was unconscious, but she kept telling herself he was still alive, she could see his breathing. Against the wall, TOnks screamed as she contorted against the Crucius curse, her eyes wide with fear and pain. Her hair had gone completely white, and nothing remained in her face of the funloving witch from only an hour before. Behind her, she heard Harry approach,felt the hot rage within him spilling out and overtaking her. His wand was raised, as was hers. Both pointed at the dark lord as he laughed.

"Children; this is all that is left of the great Order..a bunch of children? And a couple of weaklings.' He jerked his head to the twins tied up on the floor near Tonks. Fred was awake, his eyes full of hatred, but George was limp beside him. A pool of blood was forming beneath them, some coming from Fred's missing hand and some coming from his dead brother still tied to him. Voldemort's laughter grew colder and louder, resonating off the stone walls as he took a step towards them.

"Avada Kada-" Harry began to shout, and suddenly stopped. Hermione turned, her wand still at the ready, to see what was wrong. His eyes had gone blank, and he looked like something was wrong.

"Harry...Harry what is it?" His hands were trembling, and although he still held his wand, it was no longer aimed at Voldemort...it was aimed at her!

"Harry! Harry what are you-" Her words were the ones to cease now, as suddenly a bright blue glow came from his wand, and she felt as if she was melting from the inside out. She was off the ground, her body colliding with the same stone wall that held Tonks captive in her pain. The room spun, Hermione felt her consciousness fading, and she fought it with all her strength. Something was wrong with Harry. What was happening? She crawled towards her wand on the floor a few feet in front of her, trying to grab it. Harry suddenly aimed his at hers, and it flew to his hand. He looked at Voldemort, and smiled.

"Very good. Can't have that pesky muggleborn ruining my plans. Now then, shall we dispose of this one?" He said, pointing at Tonks as Harry let his own gaze follow." She is of no further use to me, please remove her Harry."

"Avada Kadavra!" And Tonks ceased to scream. In fact, she ceased to do anything but hang limp in the chains that held her hands. She lived no more. Hermione sobbed, screaming at Harry.

"Stop this! Harry! HARRY! He is making you do this, don't let him control you HARRY NO!" His wand was raised again, and she blacked out.

When she came to, she was tied to Fred, George's corpse now tossed against the other wall with Tonks. And Harry stood inthe middle of the room, hovering a few inches off the ground. Behind him was...Severus Snape! She knew it, knew he was a traitor! It must have been him controlling Harry, making him work for the dark lord. She sobbed, trying to free herself. Fred shook his head.

"No Herm..no. Just...don't fight. He will only kill you sooner." His voice was defeated, he let his head fall forward as he sighed. But she would not give up. She watched as Voldemort and Snape began to speak.

"Ah the servant returns. What news have you for me dear Severus? Have you found the Malfoy boy? I am sure you took care of him; I do NOT abide traitors among my followers. "

Snape stood there, an odd lookin his eyes as he nodded.

"Of course my lord, he was dealt with. I performed the Avada Kadavra on him and his mother. They will be of no bother now. And I see you have finally discovered the secret to controlling our dear mister Potter?" This was phrased as a question, one brow arching ever so slightly as he seemed to wait a response from his master. He did not have to wait long.

"Yes, it was easy. I simply used his mind against him. I turned it into a weapon, and I have complete control over everything he does. Isn't it lovely, the thought of using him to destroy the very people he has vowed to protect? I will, of course, have him defeat the remaining Order before I send him out to destroy the vile muggles infecting the magical world. He will be my greatest asset."

Their conversation continued, but Hermione's attention flickered in and out as she fought the urge to close her eyes again. Something about the dreams Harry had, the scar and the Horocrux's they had destroyed this summer. Snape said little, most was left to Voldemort to brag and laugh as he lavished them in the fine details of turning Potter into his puppet. And when Hermione finally thought she might lose to the overpowering darkness, she heard something crack. Her eyes fluttered open and she saw Remus Lupin, Ginny Weasley, Hagrid and...Draco Malfoy! But...Snape...hadn't he just said?

Clearly this obvious discretion was apparent to Voldemort as well, because his laughter suddenly died in his throat as he saw the so called dead Malfoy standing with his outstretched wand pointed directly at the dark lord. Now it was Snape's turn to smile. And it was a smile like never before. In it she suddenly realized why Dumbledore had trusted him, why he was there, and why Harry was no longer floating above the floor. He had crumpled to the floor, and now not just one wand but 4 were pointed at Voldemort. He raised his own, but not in time. Malfoy screamed a curse, and his wand erupted in white light, hitting Voldemort squarely in the chest. "Crucius!" He screamed it over and over, tears streaming down his eyes as he pushed closer to the screaming dark lord and began to shout obsenities at him. Hermione just stared in disbelief. Snape had scooped Harry up from the floor, and now Hagrid held him as Lupin went to aid Snape and Malfoy. Standing over him, they saw fear in his eyes for the first time in his horrible reign of terror over the world. The war was finally ending. With a unanimous shout, all three cast the Kadavra curse and Voldemort twitched and screamed before his body fell limp against the stone floor. But Malfoy did not stop there. As the others stepped back to turn away, he cast one more spell, igniting the body in flames. It continued to burn as they backed away, standing huddled together in silence. Hagrid had come to untie Hermione and Fred, and now she stood, helping Fred stand as well. She had his blood all over her, his and his twins. She sobbed, holding him close. Ginny ran to him, seeing Ron and George on the ground. Hermione thought Ron was still alive, but when Ginny began to wail and tremble, holding him in her arms, she realized her mistake. He had passed sometime when she was unconscious. Her best friend, one of the mighty three, was dead. And he was not alone, Tonks was now cradled in a sobbing Remus' arms, as he rocked back and forth, gently stroking her hair from her face. Ginny had drawn her brothers up together, and sobbed as she held them. Hagrid still cradled an unconscious Harry in his arms, and for the first time she noticed Malfoy staring at the burning corpse. Why was he here? She had to know.Approaching him, she put a hand on his arm. He jerked reflexively, pulling away as he glared at her.

"Don't touch me you filthy..." His words died in his throat and he just looked like he might cry. She was shocked.

"Malfoy...why are you here? What happened? Snape said you and your mother were dead." She was confused, and still blocking out the shock of what had just occurred.

"She is dead. She is dead and so is my father." A bitter hatred entered his voice, and he took in long deep breaths. And he did not offer any more information, instead choosing at that very moment to apparate fromthe room. The rest were left to celebrate a victory at a great price.

Ginny was hugging her as she sobbed, and she finally sat back up, wiping her eyes gently. "I..I'm sorry. I just need some time. I lost... I'm sorry everyone. I am so sorry." She pushed up from the floor, coming to be with them had been the wrong idea. She needed to be alone, seeing them together made her remember who was not there. She stumbled from the room and ran down the corridor to a dark door at the other end. Running through it, she ran from the hallway straight into an alley. It was the alley outside The Three Broomsticks. But she kept running, all the way up the road out of Hogsmeade and past the now open gates of Hogwarts. It had been closed since last year, after they lost Dumbledore, no one seemed to have the heart to keep the school running. And No one wanted to send their children back to the school were so many had suffered and died. But now it was the only place she wanted to be.

Hermione did not stop running until she found herself in the astronomy tower. She flung herself onto the floor, leaning against the stony wall as she hugged her legs to her and cried bitterly. She wailed and screamed, cursing the names of everyone she had lost. Cursed them for dying, for leaving her alone now, for being gone from her life. Cursed their murderers. Yes murderers. Harry had killed Tonks. He had killed Ron too it seemed. She cried for the little brainy witch with the bushy hair and the big teeth, the goofy little redhead with handmedown clothes and the quiet and tortured brunette that had formed their friendship. He was lost too now, he would never be the same once he knew of what he had done. She cried for the loss of everything they held dear, and soon her cried ebbed to soft sobs and she curled up on the floor, hugging herself tightly in the cool night air. She did not see the shadow that fell over her and the sound of footsteps approaching her. She drifted to darkness, not realizing two strong arms had cradled her in them and now she was being carried down the steps. She closed her eyes and faded from awakeness as she heard a door open and felt those arms release her onto softness.

"Why Harry why? He was our best friend...you loved him as much as me..why did you do it? Why...?" Draco watched her as she slept, sobbing softly in smalls huddered gasps. She didn't toss or turn, just lay quietly curled up in the blanket with tears still streaming down over her cheeks. He sat in a chair beside her bed. He could not explain this...this moment. He simply needed to be here, right now, to feel raw emotion, to see someone else suffering as much as he was.

Professor Snape had not been lying when he said Narcissa was dead. He had indeed been the one to perform the Avada Kadavra upon her. But it was to free her from the torment his father was inflicting upon her. Lucius had escaped Azkaban and the first place he came was home sweet home. Enraged at his failure, and fearing he too would be killed, he turned his anger on Narcissa. She had been hiding Draco since that dark night in Hogwarts. Snape had apparated him stright home, his unbreakable vow to her fulfilled. He had protected Draco. He wouldn't have killed Dumbledore...deep down he knew he could not have done it. And Snape explained later that he did it because he had to. Dumbledore was dying anyway, the moment he had taken the first holocrux, he knew it. That too had been guarded, and the price to get it had been higher than even Harry realized. Dumbledore knew his time was limited, he was showing Harry all he would need to defeat the dark lord. And Snape knew his role in the whole plan.

But that night, all Lucius could say was how Draco had failed, and for the last time. His own wife was forced to endure many unforgivable curses that night, some Draco had never even heard of, all while Draco was forced to watch. Snape had returned in time to kill Lucius and that was when Narcissa begged him to end her life too. She was in such pain she screamed every time Draco tried to touch her, to console her. So he had lost everything, and now..as he looked at this girl as if for the first time..he knew she would understand. He had hated her for 7 years, done nothing but plot to make her life miserable and horrific. And now, he just wanted her to wake up and make it all go away.

Eventually, the night became day, and Hermione stirred on the bed where she slumbered. Draco was in the chair, now covered with a small tattered blanket as he slept too. She was confused; remembered crying in the tower, remembered being at the safehouse...but how did she end up here? And why was Draco Malfoy sleeping in a chair beside her bed? She sat up and stared at him. He had changed since the last time she had seen him. His face seemed to have aged, he held a sadness to him now that changed forever that sarcastic insolent expression he'd always seemed to wear. His hair was a bit longer, and had darkened some. No longer white blond, it was a sandy shade of blond. He his head was bowed some, and he was snoring. If the past few days didn't still exist, she might have found that giggle worthy. Instead, it merited only the slightest smile.

"Malfoy. Wake up Malfoy."

His body twitched, and his head jerked up as he looked at her. "Bout damn time." Ah yeah, there it was, the old Malfoy charm. But his words seemed hollow, almost as if he was forcing the 'tude just to keep up appearances.

"What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"You could..but I asked you first. So spill it." Damn she was stubborn. That hadn't changed.

He quickly recounted the occurrances of the previous night, starting with his watching her run through the school to the tower and ending with her sleeping in one of the old dorm rooms with him in a chair.

"Now, I ask again..what are you doing here Granger?"

"I needed toi get away. I needed to be alone." A shrug, was simple as that. And pretty much a shared sentiment. So he nodded, her answer good enough for him, and offered her a hand.

"I have been here for awhile now, after Severus returned to the Order, I came here. No point in staying at my house after..." His words trailed off, and she knew enough not to puch the issue. So she merely slid to the edge of the bed and watched him. What might have once seemed awkward now felt the most appropriate thing to do.

They sat in silence for almost 20 minutes. Healing. Malfoy was the first to break the silence, by standing up from his chair, looking down at her. He had gotten taller since last year too, she had not realized how much taller before he stood. Now he towered over her and she felt intimidated. He was gorgeous. The arrogant cruel boy was gone, and in his place stood a lonely suffering man. She felt herself stand and he took her hand. It seemed natural. They walked out of the dorm room and into what she suddenly recognized as the head boy and girl common room.

"Voldemort is dead now. What will you and Harry do now 'Mione?" Had he just referred to her as Mione? How did he know that was what her friends called her? He never paid them any attention unless it was to harass them, so surely he did not hear this term of affection. Ron had called her that...she sniffled sadly, and Draco looked at her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I just wondered what you were going to do now that everyone is safe again and you can resume your lives." He did not sound very convinced that such an act was possible anymore. She was pretty sure it wasn't.

"I do not know what Harry will do. But Remus and I once discussed returning to Hogwarts. I don't think I have the heart to try and get the school running again. Too many memories. I think..I.." She lost her words, he was staring at her as she choked back tears. He had the urge to hold her, to console her, and before he could even consider this strange feeling, he found his arms around her. He held her as she broke down, her head against his chest . He pressed one hand to the back of her head, wondering what had happened to her long hair. Now it was short and curly, a mass of tiny wavy tendrils of hair. It was kinda cute on her though. Suited her.

They stood together like that, his strong arms enveloping her as she let everything pour out. WHen she finally stopped,lifting her head to look at him, he found himself drawn to her. His lips met hers before either could protest, and surprisingly she did not push him away. The hand he had against her head came to life, fingers sliding into that soft curly hair as he felt her lips warming him. Damn mudblood, he thought affectionately. Her mouth tasted like cinnamon, and her hair smelled like ash and lavender. Tangled up in her, he pressed her back against the wall, and sighed against her lips. His eyes flickered open, only to catch hers looking back at him with a mixture of surprise and desperation in them. It only forced him to intensify that moment, he did not want to break from her.

What seemed to last forever was really more like a minute or two. And then they were apart, breathing heavily against each other as their eyes met. Her cheeks were flushed pink, and god if she didn't have the most gorgeous eyes ever. Deep brown and he would have sworn he saw something like gold flecks in there. "Hermione...I..I'm sorry." That was a lie, he wasn't sorry for kissing her. He was only sorry he couldn't do it again right this very minute. She seemed lost for words, and he smiled.

"Ok well...I have never left anyone speachless before. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I need a little help here."

That got her talking, she laughed and blushed as she gave him a little push. "Draco Malfoy, I don't know what the hell that was all about..." Those pink cheeks turned a rather lovely shade of red, and he laughed at her. She gave him one of her patented Hermione glares, but it didn't have any feeling in it other than a bit of silliness. It felt so good to not cry, to smile, to laugh with someone. It hurt too much to cry and be alone.

He had food, they sat on the floor in the common room and ate until it hurt. He'd managed to pour out the story of how he'd ended up almost killing Dumbledore, how he was scared for his life, how Snape made his mother an unbreakable vow. She told how after school had ended, she had spent the summer hunting down and destroying Voldemort's soul. How they had come to a showdown when he'd shown up at the Weasley's house and taken the twins and Ron. How Harry had been controlled, how Tonks and George and Ron died. Everything. They spent the day simply tearing apart the bad horrible memories and admitting the pain and agguish and loss. As the day faded, several succinct pops were heard in the halls, and soon the doorway was filled with the faces of the Order. Ginny and Fred came in first, followed by Remus and Snape. But Harry came in last, looking as if he wanted to die. Hermione jumped up and ran to him, grabbing him in a tight hug.

"Oh Harry! Thank god! You are ok. I was worried you might never wake up!" Draco felt jealous, and immediately felt guilty. This was all Hermione had left, her best friend. And he had killed her other best friend. They would have much to deal with, and he probably had nowhere to fit into these people's lives now. He was alone again, sadness welling up inside. Snape came to sit down on the couch and cast a cold glance toward Malfoy.

"How are you Draco?"

((A/N I edited the original posting, forgot to mention that I did indeed use quotes from the book. Also feedback is greatly appreciated. I amnot sure yet where this story is going. The scene in italics is indeed a flashback.))