Vulcan Shadows.

By Estellio

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Spock goes missing and all evidence points to McCoy while he is following cryptic clues to find him. However, after discovering one of Spock's most shocking secrets will McCoy still be able to help or will he condemn his friend to death and commit professional suicide? First, do not harm.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, I really appreciate it. I don't really like this chapter but after a few days of arguing with my computer and mangling my keyboard this was the best I could come up with. There are still some parts that irk me but hey, what yo gonna do? My muse seems to like it and will say no more on the matter so I'm stuck with it.

Reniefuwa: Sugar a poison? Well I read somewhere that chocolate and cinnamon gets them tipsy if consumed in large amounts but not a poison. Plus, V'au doesn't eat that much chocolate and she doesn't seem to like them as much as she did in the beginning anyway. When I was writing V'au I didn't really keep the whole drunk thing in mind, I kinda based her on a kid I used to baby-sit who would have leapt through flaming hoops to get his hands on a Twix (Not that I ever made him leap through flaming hoops…ehem…ehem…) but the whole chocolate thing could explain why she is so weird and hyper all the time.

Purple Artichokes from Mars: May I say, I like the name. The Vulcans emotional? Well V'au did live on Vulcan for nine years but she left and led a whole different life. She learned to embrace her emotions and completely rejects the Vulcan way. Spock…I tried to keep him in character and Spock does have his emotional moments too but they are few and far between so I kept them that way. The only reason he kinda was getting annoyed at V'au was because she ran away without so much as a 'how'd you do' and he hasn't seen her since. Not a word and when she comes back she starts to insult him and Vulcan's and it's obvious she's very angry at him. I mean if one of my children (When I get some) uped and left and returned mocking my heritage and blaming everything on me I'd probably end up belting him or her right in the face. I mean there is only so many leprechaun jokes you can take when you tell people your Irish before you begin to get a little narked and your own child calling you a robot and telling you their glad to see the back at you…well anyone would be annoyed and I think he had surprising restraint in that regard. You're probably not going to like this Chapter. Spock laughs in it.

Chapter Five: Revelations

IOIO

Enterprise : Present Day.

"My God, who was your last doctor? Pat the butcher?" McCoy asked as he ran the medical tricorder over V'au.

"Wasn't Pat a Baker?" She asked, craning her neck to see what the results were.

"Well whoever he was, he wasn't a Doctor."

"No…He was a postman! Postman Pat, post man Pat, post man Pat and his Black and White Cat." She began humming some abstract theme song then paused. "No…he was definitely a baker, you know the song 'Pat the Baker, first for freshness, Pat the Baker, so fresh it's famous. Bright and early every morning, he brings the best to you!" A blank stare from McCoy broke off her litany. "Sorry, I get a bit carried away some times." McCoy just smiled and turned back to his console, hacking away at the controls. "It's Pat the Baker, Pat the Baker! So fresh it's famous!"

"Stop before I sedate you!" He warned causing her to laugh aloud, she immediately clapped a hand over her mouth. "You just laughed!"

"Yeah, so?" She asked, slightly defensively but McCoy just smiled.

"It's just refreshing, that's all. A Vulcan that laughs…I only wish there were more of you." V'au shook her head sadly.

"The V'tosh ka'tur, are a minority I'm afraid, Doctor."

"The V'nash what?" She giggled.

"The V'tosh ka'tur. Roughly translated it means, Vulcan without logic, it basically means I'm not a hard ass like the rest of the Vulcans you know, just happy go lucky me..." She trailed off and seemed to be considering something. "Doctor, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"You and…Spock…you're friends, right?"

"I suppose you could call us that, yeah." She looked uncertain of what to say next so McCoy let her take her time to choose the words.

"Well…what…do you…you know…think…about him?" McCoy raised an eyebrow and stopped preparing his hypo.

"Well…what do you mean? Think about what?"
"Think about…well…him."

"He…is a very complex person." McCoy said, returning to his hypo. "He closes himself off, hides emotions that I know he has, I think he's afraid of being hurt or losing face. He has to try harder because he's only half Vulcan…because he's different…" V'au nodded dumbly, obviously mulling this over. "He wasn't accepted when he was younger…constantly teased by his peers who egged him on for any bit of emotion…he's learned to fear emotion, afraid of what he'll do if he loses control for one moment…it's not that he doesn't care…it's just who he is."

"You know." It wasn't a question, it wasn't even an accusation…just a statement…and McCoy couldn't deny it.

McCoy put a hand on her shoulder and she placed her own atop of it. He felt her shake with silent tears.

"I want to hate him, but I can't. I just don't understand it…one minute he was my whole world and the next…why can't I hate him?" McCoy pulled her into an embrace and let her cry against him. "Dammit, look at me, I haven't cried in years and the moment he comes back into my world I'm blubbering like a child." McCoy wanted to tell her it was unresolved issues coming to the surface after years of denial, and the only way to stop those tears was to face those issues and resolve them…well the psychiatrist in McCoy wanted to tell her that, the father in him wanted to make all her problems go away. "He was always so kind…he taught me everything I knew…I thought he'd be there for me but…he turned so cold…so cold." She let McCoy hold her for a few more minutes before pulling away and wiping her eyes.

"So Doc, am I going to live?" She joked. McCoy injected the hypo into her arm.

"This is for your back. What ever you did to it, it must be incredibly painful, the hypo will bring down the inflammation. Now, as for all your cuts and scrapes…" He produced a Dermal Regenerator. "And your left arm wasn't set properly, we're going to have to do something about that…do you have any allergies?"

"Uh…yeah." She proffered her wrist. McCoy looked at the symbols.

"Penicillin…Thorpine…What kind of smart ass puts Coconut on a medical bracelet?" She laughed and took back her hand.

"He was killer on the Electric Guitar." McCoy Laughed as Christine Chapel came out of her Office behind him.

"Christine!" V'au exclaimed, leaping up from the bed and running over to her.

"V'au?" Christine asked, as if not sure she had the name right.

"Yeah, that's me…listen. I wanted to apologise for my behaviour in the lift. It was wrong of me to use you as cannon fodder. It probably made you really uncomfortable." The look on Christine's face said the words she was to polite to say but McCoy, and any one who had eyes, could see the message spelt out in neon

'Ya think?'

"Okay…it did put you in an uncomfortable position. You had every right to flee in terror, I know I would have. Vulcans gearing up for a fight can be a horrible thing…but I'm really sorry. Forgive me?" She looked at V'au's comically innocent face a couldn't suppress a smile.

"Alright, I suppose I can find it within me to forgive you."

"I hope you didn't have to look too deep within." Christine laughed and put down the tray of samples she had.

"No, I didn't but you shouldn't be fighting with Mister Spock, or calling him names." "I did not call him names!" Exclaimed V'au, feigning shock and appal.

"You said he had a stalwart hide."
"Nice one V'au!" Laughed McCoy.

"Do not encourage her." Christine snapped at McCoy who, with a thoroughly chagrined look, went back to looking at his charts.

"Hey, I think that I of all people, are allowed to rile Spock up. That stony little hob-goblin needs someone to verbally abuse him every once to fill his annual irk quota."

"Oh don't call him names behind his back, it's not nice."

"What, you want me to call him in here? I can do that too…Spock! Spock!"

"Stop it!" Nurse Chapel said, laughing hard. "I mean really."

"Oh I got a whole list of things I can call him. He'll probably just shake it off saying that 'insults are only effective where emotion is present' or flinging the mother of all one liners back at me. He's very good at that."

"I take it you knew him before now, then?" Chapel asked, genuinely curious.

"Oh yeah, me and hard ass go wwaaaaaaaaaaaay back. I mean so far back it makes me feel old just thinking about it. Why?"

"Oh, no reason." V'au suddenly smiled, a wicked grin coming over her face as she turned.

"You, Christine, are blushing and going on the defensive. You…oh no…not you. You're too nice." She shook her head, still grinning. "What is it with nurses and him. Ye flock to him like pre-pubescent girls to boy bands. It's crazy."

"I really don't know what you are talking about." Christine said, turning a decidedly unhealthy shade of cerise and turning her back on V'au's grin.

"Oh don't you? Well then I must be sorely mistaken in thinking you fancy Mister Spock. While he may be as oblivious as a turnip, I can sense these things as if I had a built in radar. I've seen it once I've seen it a thousand times. I suppose he is a handsome devil, isn't he, but as boring as a rock…no…that's insulting. I shouldn't speak about rocks that way."

"Oh now, you just stop that talk right now. All of it." Christine warned, shaking her finger at V'au who was being instructed to lie back by Doctor McCoy.

"Okay, I'm sorry. If you want I can put it a good word for yeah. I bet he secretly fancies you too." Christine rolled her eyes.

"I doubt it very much."

"You underestimate the power of a word. Bet you ten bars I can get him to pay you a compliment in a week. Ten bars."

"Bars of what?"

"What you got?"

IOIO

Spock sat in the loshiraq position before the Asenoi, his eyes closed in deep meditation.

Why now? why did V'au return now?

No…he would not let thoughts of her cloud his mind, there were more important things going on at the moment. Someone was trying to kill him and nearly tricked V'au into killing him…why V'au. Why choose her to kill him? Maybe it wasn't as random a choice as he first believed…and how did McCoy fit into all this. Yes, he was the only one who knew about he and V'au but this all started before he gained that knowledge…why did they need McCoy out of the picture as well…There was an answer here but he just wasn't seeing it. There were large pieces of the puzzle missing.

Now, it is floating around that the contract is coming from corrupt Federation officials and lets face it, you'll never find a corrupt Ensign that'll order assassinations. It's the admirals, Captains and Ambassadors that do that…especially if they can afford Kek

Corrupt Federation Officials? Could they have inadvertently stumbled upon something? Maybe standing in the way of something…he had to think…had to make the connection.

Spock opened in his eyes and was shocked to see V'au sitting in front of him, legs crossed similarly to his…not the V'au on board the ship now but the five year old, smiling, copper haired little girl.

The flash before his eyes only lasted a second but it was long enough for him to understand.

V'au was there to take his mind off the problem. It was a distraction, nothing more. Whether she was in on it or not was the next question…could he really trust her? She could have changed, she had changed but…

What kind of a monster do you think I am! I would never dare to raise a hand against my own Skan! Spock is my Sa-mehk and McCoy his friend. No harm will come to them, you have my word. On my honour…and that means more to me than life itself. No harm will come to them. I promise you.

Her Skan…her family…He was her Sa-Mehk…if not by blood then by…

He sighed, he should have seen this before. It was so blatantly obvious but his logic didn't allow him to see it…

He was her father, and she his daughter by…emotional attachment…This could cause a problem. Maybe he should mediate on it further…but try as he might, he couldn't focus.

'There is still something I am not seeing. There is something wrong…something in the way she is acting. The last time I saw her acting like this was at the Christmas party after our fight…but then she as up to something…Oh no.'

IOIO

Enterprise : Christmas Day, 2252 (Two Months after her recovery.)

Spock opened in his eyes and was shocked to see V'au sitting in front of him, legs crossed similarly to his own and her face blank. As if sensing that Spock had come out of his trance she opened one eyes and smiled.

"Why do you always do this?" She asked. "It's boring."

"It is meditation."

"What's that?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"It is a reflection…you use it to centre your mind and attain the stillness of perfect lailara…to divulge yourself of all porsen and to attain the arie-mnu. It is the Vulcan kro'el."

"I still say it looks boring…why do you want perfect harmony? What's wrong with emotion? There's no need to divulge yourself of it!"

"Of course there is…it is kro'el."

"Just because it is 'the way' doesn't mean that it's right…or fun!"

"Vulcan's used to be a primitive, warlike race. We nearly tore ourselves apart in our rage and lust…the arie'mnu saved us from destruction. Only through the mastery of passion and emotion can we attain harmony and quell our destructive impulses."

"But…what about happiness? Love…fun?"

"Vulcan's can still be happy and have fun. We just do not express it like humans do."

"Na ah, I'm not buying it. If this is what you call fun then I'd rather be a human."

"No…this is meditation. This is not fun, it is a necessity. It helps Vulcan's to centre themselves, helps them work through problems, human's do it also."

"Oh…what were you meditating on?"

"You."

"ME! I'm not problem, am I?"

"You certainly are a handful."

"Oh, I'm just full of beans, hey I've got some problems, teach me to meditate!"

"Maybe later, when you are not so hyperactive." She grinned at him.

"Oh, now that could be years away."

"Well maybe if I tire you out…"

"NO!" She squealed, realising his intent but before she could bolt he had gripped her by the waist and began to tickle her furiously. "NO! " She squealed, laughing hard, tears rolling down her face. "PLEASE…STOP! NAI!" Spock realised he was laughing too and quickly let her go. She scampered behind the couch as quickly as she could. Spock realised he was still smiling and quickly wiped his face clean.

"That was mean." She called from behind the couch but Spock had gotten up, shocked at his lack of control. He would have to meditate on it…but he had been meditating on it for hours and was still no closer to an answer. Why was his logic failing him so completely when it came to this little girl."If that's your idea of fun then it is cruel!" He could feel a chuckle beginning, deep in his chest and he quelled it.

"Do you want me to teach you a Vulcan game?" He asked searching for a distraction…how could he have been so lax, let his control slip so badly!

"Yeah…as long as it doesn't involve tickling me!" Spock opened a cupboard near his bed.

"Come look, pick which one."

"This is a clever plan to get me out into the open, I know it is!" Spock looked over at the couch she was hiding behind.

"If you do not come out…then I will come and get you." She squealed and leapt from behind it, getting into a basic karate stance.

"I warn you, I know Kung Fu!" Spock swallowed another chuckle and turned back to the cupboard. V'au approached him carefully but he didn't seem to be making any suspicious movements so she skipped up to his elbow, peering in.

"Woah, it's like Toys 'R' us, just without the giraffe. Spock raised an eyebrow but chose not to comment as she rummaged around inside. He would have to talk to Yeoman Henley about who she let V'au associate with, the idioms she were using were getting stranger every minute.

"Chess isn't a Vulcan game!" She said, taking out the chess board. "But Lt. Beckett's teaching me. I've got the hang of it but he still beats me real easy."

"Would you like me to tutor you?"

"Sure…hold it! Look at that!" Reaching inside she pulled out his kal-toh set."

"Kal-toh is an incredibly complex game involving the highest level of discipline."

"Oooh…Sounds fun. Teach me."

"It takes years to learn, never mind to master."

"We've got years. I'm only five."

"Doctor Piper says that the original estimate was inaccurate and you are, in fact, closer to the age of seven."

"I wont tell anyone if you don't."

"V'au…once we reach Jupiter Station…" She turned to face him, so blatantly innocent to the weight of what he was saying.

"Yeah?"

"V'au…You'll be given to an orphanage and you'll be adopted." She went very still, only her hand moving as it fiddled with one of the short sticks.

"That doesn't sound good…what does that mean?" Spock's hands came down on her shoulders but she jerked away, her eyes filled with angry tears. "WHAT DOES IT MEAN?"

"It means that you'll be taken off the ship…given a mother and father…and you'll probably never see me again."

"WHAT! NO! I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!" Spock shook his head.

"It doesn't work that way, V'au. You are too young to have your own say."

"I DON'T WANT TO BE ADOPTED! I DON'T NEED PARENTS! YOU'RE MY FATHER!"

"No, V'au, I'm not." She threw the Kal-toh to the floor and ran to the door, past a shocked looking Nurse Niara.

"Mister Spock?" Spock looked at the door then at the Kal-toh…he bent to pick the puzzle up. "Mister Spock…what happened?" He didn't answer for a long time, instead picking up the many pieces of the puzzle.

"I told her about what would happen on Jupiter Station. She did not take it well."

"Clearly…Spock…" He looked up at her, Nurse Niara had a concerned look on her face but her eyes were hard as she spoke. "Go after her, she needs you."

"She believes me to be her father. I am not and letting her indulge this fantasy would do more harm than good so I believe the logical choice would be to give her a little distance and...." A sharp slap landed across his face and he shot an incredulous look to the Nurse.

"Don't look at me like that, you deserved it…in fact you could deserve another one. She is a child, logic doesn't apply to children, use your heart, not your head and go after her." Spock stared at her a few more minutes in silence. With a disgusted look she turned away and marched out.

IOIO

Enterprise: Present Day.

"Can I go yet?"

"No."

"…"

"…"

"…Can I go yet?"

"NO!"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Ca"

"If you say it, I'll hurt you."

"Okay, Geese. What are you doing up there anyway?"

"Repairing what Pat did to you head."

"The Postman or the Baker."

"The Butcher."

"Ah." V'au opened her eyes and watched as McCoy's elbow bobbed up and down over her face. "What fabric is that?"

"What?"

"Your uniform." McCoy reached across and took an unidentified object from the table next to her before going back to work. Something began to whir loudly near her temple.

"It's synthahol."

"Oh…it just looks so shiny…and soft." McCoy paused.
"Are you sure you're okay." She giggled, her head shaking slightly against the strap.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm always like this…I'm an impulsive question asker…" McCoy got back to work.

" 'Asker' is not a real word." Her first instinct was to look up at the sound of Spock's voice but due to the strap on her head she only managed to wrench her neck and have McCoy scream at her.

"DON'T MOVE YOUR HEAD!" He returned to working on her but turned his attentions to Spock.

"You, come back in five, I'm doing a little brain surgery and if I mess it up then she'll be talking out of the left side of her mouth for the rest of her life."

"Brain Surgery! What happened?!"

"Careful Spock." McCoy warned at the tone of the Vulcan's voice. "Your concern is showing." Spock was silent for a long time.

"Doctor…I wish to speak with V'au." He said finally.

"Then go rub a lamp for all I care, you're not getting near her till I'm done…okay, done." He put down his tools and removed the strap. She instantly grabbed her neck. "You can keep the sore neck as a reminder not to move your head during brain surgery."

V'au sat up and blinked a few times before a bright grin spread across her face.

"I feel better than I have in years! You're a god!" She threw her arms across McCoy and hugged him.

"Me, a god?" McCoy laughed as she drew away. "Nah, I'm just a plain ol' country Doctor."

"V'au, I must speak with you now." She scowled, turning to face Spock.

"Nag, nag, nag. Now! Now! Now! I see you still haven't developed a sense of patience…WHAT IN THE NAME OF!" She started at the sight of Spock holding a phaser at her.

"You are lying to me, V'au."

"Put the phaser down, Spock." V'au said, carefully.

"Spock, have you gone out of your blasted Vulcan mind!" McCoy shouted, drawing the attention of two nearby nurses.

"V'au…you are lying and I know you are."
"Please, Spock! Put the phaser down, what do you want to know?" She was panicked and confused but there was an underlying sense of confidence. "I'll answer any question you ask under a lie detector test."

"V'au…don't patronise me. You know, as well as I, that conventional Lie-detector tests wont work on you…but there is something that shall…"

"NO! NO! I WILL NOT PERMIT IT! I WILL NOT LET YOU IN THERE!"

"V'au…you have been lying."

"Okay, I lied a little, but it's not what you think!"

"Isn't it?"

"No! I…I…I can't, I will not tell you and I wont let you in!"

"V'au…If you do not then I'll be forced into action." Spock said, walking forward slowly

"You don't understand…Spock…please…no!" She began to back along the bio-bed till her back hit the wall. "I won't permit it! You can't if I don't permit it!"

"V'au…I apologise." He shot her.

IOIO

What a nice person he is, shooting his own daughter. Want to find out why then you're going to have to wait for the next chapter. I'm having a little trouble with it so it could take a while. I type something, don't like it, delete it, type something else, play minesweeper, go back to it...don't like it, play FreeCell and several more games of minesweeper...you know. Minesweeper may be taking over my life. I'm after getting my time down to 8 seconds on beginner though and to 70 on Intermediate so WOO! Go me! ...I really need to get a life. Oh, here is all the Vulcan I used. It came froma pretty reliable source so I presume it's right.

Skan – Family

Sa-Mehk- Father

kro'el – the way

lailara – harmony

Porsen – emotion.

Wh'ltri – simple Vulcan meditative technique

Arie – emotion

arie'mnu – mastery of passion and emotion.