A/N You guys are either going to love me or hate me. BTW, my favorite artist is working on illustrations for this fic. Once completed, they'll be located in my deviantart gallery. I'll keep you posted.
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah.
Annoyance with Remus was a good motivational tool for Tonks. She managed to enter Grimmauld Place without any mishaps, sneak past the portrait of Sirius' mum without it screaming at her, and get up the stairs without tripping, muttering to herself all the while.
Then she burst through the door to Remus' room, attempting to catch him by surprise. "Lupin!" She shouted.
He finished folding a jumper and put it on the bed before turning around. "Tonks."
"Are you completely out of your mind?" She demanded.
He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Arthur told you."
She planted her fists on her hips. "Yes he told me."
He didn't respond.
"You should have told me if you were planning this. Or is this some sort of daft spur of the moment thing?"
"I've been planning this for a quite some time, Tonks."
"Really." She said, her voice dripping sarcasm. If he'd been planning this, why hadn't he mentioned it?
He lifted his brows. "Yes, really. Why would you think otherwise?"
She stomped further into the room. "It seems to me that the timing is awfully convenient."
"Well," he said softly, "timing is everything."
Tonks gaped at him for a moment. "You are running away from me."
He turned away from her, starting to fold more of his clothes. "Don't be ridiculous. Why would I do that?"
"Because I tried to kiss you." She said in a small voice.
His shoulders jerked, but he didn't turn around. "That was just your reaction to the situation. I'm sure it meant nothing."
"Just my..." She spluttered. "My reaction to..."
She reached out and grabbed his arm, forcibly turning him around. "You can't really be that thick."
He shrugged. "It's a common enough occurence. People are influenced by circumstances."
"Give me some bloody credit, Remus."
He studied her gravely. "Tonks, what are you saying? That you intended to kiss me? That it had nothing to do with my timely rescue, nothing to do with the fact that we were in such an... intimate position?"
"Give the man an effing gold star."
He shook his head. It couldn't be. She was jesting, surely. He knew his feelings were not appropriately friend-like towards her, but he never imagined, never dared dream that it might be mutual.
"You're jesting." He responded hoarsely.
"I've never been more serious." She said, releasing her grip on his arm. "I care about you, Remus."
"I care about you too..."
She held up her hand. "No, let me finish. I care about you. I fancy you. Have since the start, really. I can hardly keep my eyes from you, and never know what to say."
He looked stricken.
She plowed ahead. "I wanted to kiss you tonight, Remus. I needed to. I love you."
"You don't know what you're saying, Tonks. It's just a... an infatuation. A crush."
"I'm not a child, Remus. I know the difference."
"No, you'll see, a fortnight after I'm gone, you won't feel the same." He insisted desperately.
"Well, you're right about that." She said. "I'll feel worse. I'll feel guilty that you did this to get away from me."
"I'm not doing it to get away from you."
Her eyes narrowed, and her gaze locked on his. "Do you love me, Remus?"
His face drained of color. "Don't do this, Nymphadora." He whispered. "Not now."
"Do. You. Love. Me?"
He let his head drop. "No. I don't." He said weakly, not looking at her.
"Not good enough." She hissed. "Look at me and tell me you don't."
He lifted his head, his eyes wild. "I don't..." He let out a harsh breath. "I don't know. I don't know, Tonks. I can't."
"Can't?"
"I can't. It isn't right. You deserve better."
Disbelief crossed her face. "Deserve better? Shouldn't I be the judge of that?"
"You and I... it wouldn't work, Tonks."
"Why not?"
"I'm too old for you, for one. Nearly fourteen in years, and ages in life."
"That's just insulting, Remus." She said, rolling her eyes. "To you, and to me for thinking I'd care."
"How about the fact that I haven't had a steady job in 3 years. Or any job for that matter. I've bugger all to my name, and that isn't going to change in the foreseeable future."
"I'm not a gold digger. It doesn't matter."
"It matters to me." He said quietly.
She shook her head. "You've yet to come up with a reason that means a whit to me."
"I'm a werewolf, Tonks!" He yelled. "Don't you see? I'm a danger to everyone around me."
"That's not true and you know it! The potion..."
The potion?" He interrupted. "I've already proven that I can't be trusted to take my potion all the time."
"That was just once, Remus, and under extreme circumstances."
"But it happened. And I'm not staking my entire future on a potion. Mine or yours."
She almost smiled. "That's very sweet, and noble, Remus; but it's not only up to you."
"It is up to me." He replied. "It has to be."
He turned away from her again, picking up his satchel from the bed. He looped the strap over his shoulder.
"This conversation is over, Tonks. There's no point to it." He turned again.
She was crying now, tears dripping down her face. The vibrant pink of her hair was fading, changing into the mousy brown she'd had at St. Mungo's.
"Please, Remus." She begged.
"I'm sorry." He whispered brokenly. "You'll see. You'll see I'm right." He lifted his hand to her face, then seemed to think better of it.
"I've got to go."
"Remus, No." She reached for him now.
He evaded her and walked slowly to the door, like a man heading to his execution. "I'm sorry."
Then he was gone.