Moulin Rouge

A

Turk's

Bloopers!

edenblack18:

Hello everyone. I'm Eden Black, the author of A Turk's Love. I really hoped you enjoyed the story, believe me, I did while I was writing it out and directing it. It was really tough trying to getting everything in order and all. And I'll tell you what, Vincent was sure pissed at me for making him sing. I really don't think he actually likes singing. Out loud anyway.

Vincent, walks in, scowling: And when did you figure that out?

edenblack18, waves at Vincent: Oh, hi, Vincent! I'm glad you dropped by. Now you can help me show off the bloopers to the readers!

Vincent, looking horrorfied: Oh dammit. You have got to be kidding me! Please say your kidding!

edenblack18: Nope! Now sit down and then we can get started.

Vincent:... (sits down)

edenblack18: Now before we do begin, let me warn you now. Vincent is not always serious as everyone thinks. He goofed off a lot during the making of this story. So don't be too shocked when you see him goofing around. Not to mention, Reno loved pissing me off. I had to knock him out a couple of times just because of his damn pranks. Anyway, enjoy. Because I know Vinny and I will.

Vincent: ...

From Prologue>

On the first scene while Tifa was walking through the market place of New Midgar. She's practically skipping. Then she tripped.

edenblack18: CUT! Tifa, what happened!

Tifa, gets up and brushes herself off: Someone tripped me! (turns and glares at Reno)

edenblack18: RENO! (Reno runs away cackling)

(Cut)

Scene where Tifa talks to the old Dariel

Tifa smiles and shakes her head as she walked over to Dariel's stand, forgetting to put the red fabric back.

Merchant, raises a fist: Hey! You going to pay for that!

Tifa, jumped: S-sorry! puts the fabric back

Cut>

Dariel, smiling: Good afternoon, pretty hussy. Care to... (his eyes grows wide) Oh $#+

Tifa, jaw drops: Dariel!

Everyone off stage laughs

cut>

Tifa smiled as she put the fabric down and walked over to Dariel's stand.

Dariel, trying to not laugh: Good...hehehe...afternoon, Pretty missy. hahahaha. Care to hear a story...hahahahaha! (falls off his chair laughing)

edenblack18: CUT! Dariel, what the hell is the matter with you!

Dariel, gets up: hehehe. I'm sorry, Eden! It's just Tifa has a milk mustache (points)

Tifa, quickly wiped her mouth, blushing furiously: S-sorry! It's just milk does your body good!

edenblack18, anime sweatdrops and sighs: Tifa, no more drinking milkshakes before filming.

Cut>

Dariel motions to Tifa to sit down on his black leather couch. When she does a loud farting noise emits from under her. Tifa jumps up, blushing furiously looking down at the seat while everyone is cracking up. There's a whoopee cushion there.

edenblack18: RENO! I'M GOING TO &#$$# CUT YOUR HANDS OFF!

Reno laughs insanely and runs away

cut>

Dariel stands by the fire place with a sad look on his face. He let out a deep sigh and opens his mouth

Dariel, sings: There was a boy, a very strange enchanted boy. They say he wandered very ( there was a loud crack and a burning log falls over hitting Dariel's leg setting his pants on fire) Ahhhhhhhh! (runs around in circles trying to get away from the flames)

edenblack18, jumps to feet: TIFA! USE WATER!

Tifa, quickly stands making a grab for her materia: Huh! notices her materia is missing

edenblack18 and Tifa: YUFFIE! GIVE BACK MY/TIFA'S MATERIA!

(cut)

From Chapter 1

Vincent is looking around with an interested look on his face. He backs into Dariel, knocking him down.

Vincent, spins on his heel: Oh! I'm so sorry! I---Ah! (slips on the freshly waxed floor and falls with a loud thump)

edenblack18: CUT! Who waxed the floor!

everyone turned to see Reno waxing the floor

edenblack18, turns very red with rage: RENO! (runs after him with a battle axe)

Reno, in a highpitched voice: AHHHHHHHHH!

Yuffie, wide eyes: Whoa! Reno screams like a girl.

Cid, lights up a cigarette: I #!&$ wonder why. Eden had $# kicked him in the #$$$ a few &$$#$#& times.

Yuffie, giggles: Oh yeah!

(cut)

The door to the conference room opens and Vincent and Dariel walks into the room, hurriedly.

Dariel: Good morning, everyone. Sorry------ ( gets cut off by Shinra)

President Shinra, shoots to his feet: Dariel! Your late! Consider your pay check deducted!

edenblack18: CUT! Shinra! That is not your line!

President Shinra, looks puzzled: Huh? But Dariel's late. No worker of Shinra is...

edenblack, cursing angrily and rubbing temples: Shinra, for Hyne's sakes. No wonder Rufus turns out to be just like you.

Rufus Shinra, runs in: Hey! I am not like the Old man! I will cause fear in the world and not use money!

edenblack18 grabs a chair and smashes it over Rufus Shinra's head.

(cut)

Palmer, waving his hand in the air: How do we know that, Augustice. You know we can't just do anything against Langhorn without any proof.

President Shinra, pulling out the cigar case and opened it: Who said we didn't have---- (he shuts the case on his finger) #&&$#$!

edenblack18, sighs: Now you have a reason to quit smoking, dumbass.

(cut)

From Chapter 3

Lucrecia and Vincent are on the bed for the make out scene. Vincent is 'struggling' against her looking uncomfortable

Lucrecia, in a sexy tone: Make love to me, tiger! Tell me that I'll be a scientist!

Vincent, wrapped an arm around her with a mocking lustful look on his face.

Vincent, flipping Lucrecia over so he was on top: Alright, baby! You'll be a scientist! (kisses her cheek, while she's laughing)

edenblack, shaking her head trying not to laugh: Vincent, you are a pain in the ass when you want to be.

(cut)

The scene after Dariel embarrassed both Lucrecia and Vincent after Hojo left; Lucrecia is glaring at Dariel.

Vincent, looking away: That really wasn't funny, Dariel. (blushes)

Dariel, laughing: Yes it was. You should have seen the looks on your faces.

Lucrecia walks forward and snatched his cigarette; She slaps him across the face a little harder than she was suppose to

Lucrecia, gasps: Oh! Dariel! I'm so sorry! (when his nose starts to bleed and Vincent bursts out with laughter)

Dariel, holding his nose: Ow! I think my nose is broken! (walks off stage)

(cut)

From Chapter 6

Dariel is stomping down the hallway after the meeting with Shinra, Hojo and Gast; his fists are tightly clenched. He turns and punches the wall; but there was a small crunch in his hand

Dariel, grabs his fist: &$$$$#$#$!

edenblack18, stands quickly: Dariel! Are you okay!

Dariel, hopping up and down swearing: $&$#, No! I think that $$ part of the $#$#&$#$ wall is metal and not $$# plaster! Damn it! Not only did I get my $#$#&$$#$ nose broken but my $&&$ hand too! (stomps off stage in search of ice or a good cure spell)

edenblack18, sighs: Man, why did I have to quit that commericial business. Cid is really starting to rub off on these guys.

Cid, with offense: Damn straight!

(cut)

Dariel storms down the hall; Hojo follows

Hojo: Toulouse!

Dariel, turns to see whose behind him before turning back

Hojo, in a growl: Toulouse, you will stop right there or...Whoop! (slids across the slippery floor and crashes to the ground)

edenblack, throws the script into the air: Damn janitors! I thought I told them not to mop the floor before filming!

(cut)

From Chapter 10

Tifa hurries down the stairs, smiling. She looks over at Vincent whose, standing against the wall with a thoughtful look on his face. Tifa starts humming when she slips on the stairs

Barret, jumps up from his chair: Tifa!

Tifa, laughing as she sits on the stairs: Opps! I guess I better not go so fast on the stairs

Everyone laughs

(cut)

Tifa is standing in her room; facing the door.

Tifa, whispers: Stop it, Tifa. He doesn't love you like that. He just likes you. (turns around to find Vincent standing there)

Vincent, grabs Tifa by the shoulders: No! I love you, Tifa! Cloud can't have you! Your mine, you hear! Mine! (kisses her while she's laughing)

Cloud glares from off stage

(cut)

From Chapter 12

The scene in the bar; where Dariel tangoes with the dancer/whore. He's tangoing with her while everyone watches

Dariel, sings: Roxanne! moves towards the side while the male dancers dance with the girl You don't have to put on that red light, walk the streets for money. You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right!

More male dancers stand and circle the girl and her partner; she gets passed to another dancer but he misses and she falls the ground; everyone bursts into laughter

Dancer/Whore: Carl! (she gets up and slaps the male dancer who missed to catch her.)

(cut)

From Chapter 15/last chapter

The scene is dark but scuffling could be heard.

Cloud, in the dark: Shhh! Be quiet, Yuffie!

Yuffie: Don't shhh me, Cloud! I can't see and Barret... (stops when they heard a loud blow horn sound filled the air) AND BARRET JUST FARTED! UGH!

All but Barret: Awww! Barret!

Barret: It was not me! Don' ya go blaming me because it wasn't me!

All but Barret and Cid: Cid!

Cid: $#$#! It was not me!

lights gets turned on

edenblack18, angrily and annoyed: All right! Someone better fess up right now! Who farted!

No one speaks; but then Vincent walks on stage, blushing

Vincent, raising a hand: Sorry, it was me!

everyone laughed

Vincent, jumps from his seat: Oh, hell no! You had to show them that one didn't you! Didn't you!

edenblack18: What! I did not put that one on the bloopers!

Vincent, angrily: Then who did! Your the writer, Eden!

There was a cackle from off stage; edenblack18 and Vincent turn around

Both: RENO! (runs off stage with weapons in hands; there was a blood curling scream)