A/N: Ooooh. You're all so angryyy! Hehehe. Well here. A real chapter.

disclaimer: JK Rowling owns all recognizable characters. I own nothing more than my fevered imagination.

I normally don't like to put lyrics in, but this song was running through my head all day as I was writing.

Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Evanescence 'Missing'

When she was called on to Patrol Hogwart's with Bill and Remus, Tonks faced the night with trepidation.

She trudged up the lane to the gates of the school. She could see Bill Weasley standing on one side of the gate, leaning casually against the wall, twirling his wand in one hand.

Remus stood at the other side of the gate, shoulders hunched, back to the road.

She took a deep breath and quickened her step. "Wotcher, Bill. Remus." She greeted with false cheer.

Bill stopped twirling his wand and tucked it away. "Heya, Tonks." He said pushing away from the wall.

He studied her for a moment. "You look like shit." He told her, whispering so that only she could hear. "You okay with this?"

Tonks shrugged it off. "I'm fine."

She took a few steps forward. Remus turned slightly.

"Hello, Tonks."

Just the sound of his voice, hoarse and soft, made her gut clench. "Remus."

He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but then shut it again, turning back to the gate as Professor McGonagall opened it and motioned them inside.

They split up quickly, Bill opting to remain outside, and Remus and Tonks patrolling inside the castle. Tonks tried to head off on her own, but Remus followed her doggedly.

She ignored him.

After twenty minutes of awkward silence, Remus touched her arm. "Tonks?"

She kept walking. "We're supposed to be patrolling."

He fell into step with her. "Won't you even talk to me?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't think I will. Everything's been said."

"Would you listen to me, then?" He asked.

"No, I don't think I'll do that either."

He walked beside her in grave silence as they entered the deserted great hall. As they crossed to the other end, he spoke again.

"Nymphadora…"

She cut him off abruptly. "You made it abundantly clear that you don't want to be a part of my life, so you're not. That means I don't have to listen to you."

"Can't we be friends still?"

The softly stated question enraged her. "How could you ask that!" She rounded on him. "How dare you ask me that?"

"I never meant to hurt you."

She laughed bitterly. "Oh that's rich. Think, Remus. The things you said to me? You fully intended to hurt me."

"I'm sorry." He reached out to take hold of her arm. "Tonks…"

She came to a halt and wrenched her arm free. "Don't touch me! You've no right!"

He let his hand fall. "I'm sorry." He said again.

"I don't care how many times you say it. You hurt me."

She stomped to the door at the end of the hall and entered a dimly lit passage. Remus followed, head bowed.

He could only blame himself. In trying uselessly to protect her, he'd driven her away and lost the closest thing he had to a friend.

God, he was a bloody perverse creature. He'd managed what he'd set out to do, to push her away; and then he found himself missing her. Wanting her.

He still thought his reasons were valid, but now they were beginning to wear thin. Not seeing her, not hearing her laughter for so long, had made him completely miserable.

He'd finally admitted to himself in the dark of one cold lonely night that he loved her. And he'd sent her away.

"And the worst part is," she muttered, "I still love you."

Hope flared in his chest painfully. He immediately quashed it. There was no use. "I beg your pardon?" He whispered hoarsely.

She didn't look at him, but stopped walking. "You heard me."

He caught up to her and stood behind her. "You have to give up on me, Tonks. It'll never work."

"How do you know?" She asked, turning to face him. "How can you say that when you won't even try?"

"I can't." He murmured. "I can't, Tonks, can't you see that?"

"You won't. And that's the difference. That's why we'll just keep having the same bloody argument over and over."

He made a frustrated sound and paced away from her, thrusting his hands through his hair. "This has to stop, Nymphadora."

"It will when you realize what a wanker you are." She said with a touch of her old humor.

The ghost of a smile crossed his face. "Thank you."

"Why, Remus?" She questioned. "Why were you so cruel to me?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "That night, Tonks, that full moon was... bad for me."

"Why?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We need to keep moving," he said quietly.

She fell into step beside him as he started down the passageway. "Why was it bad?"

He didn't answer for the longest time.

"Remus?"

"I'm just... thinking of how to explain it properly." He said slowly.

She made an impatient sound.

"I could smell you." He stated bluntly. "I could still taste you."

She couldn't control the shiver his words caused.

"The wolf could, I mean. That was... problematic." He said carefully. "I couldn't stop it, Tonks. I could see myself hunting you, catching you." His voice fell to a bare whisper. "Killing you."

She absorbed this information with a tight nod. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't myself at the time." He said dryly.

She snorted. "That morning, I meant."

"I couldn't." His voice was tinged with shame. "I couldn't tell you that."

"And I'm only telling you now," he continued, "because I need you to understand how dangerous I am to you."

She nodded slowly. "Uh-huh."

As they approached the grand staircase, she stopped.

"Let me get this straight." She said. "You dreamed of killing me."

He winced. "Yes."

"Uh-huh." She tapped her finger against her lips. "And that proves you're dangerous, how?"

He turned to face her. "Tonks…"

"No, Remus. I'm trying to understand this. You think you're such a danger to me because you dreamed of hunting me while you were locked up in a room as a harmless wolf?"

He shot her a look.

"Well, blimey. Better lock me up. I dream of killing lots of people."

"This isn't a joke, Nymphadora."

"Don't call me that. It is a joke, Remus. You keep falling back on the same argument because you're afraid."

He started to speak but was interrupted when Bill came running.

"Something's happening!" Bill announced. "I saw flashes from upstairs."

As one, the three of them ran up the staircase, Remus and Tonks' argument abandoned.

Tonks kept stealing glances at Remus as they mounted the stairs. She was right, she knew she was right. He was afraid.