Chapter 4: Pain
That night after everyone was asleep (except Raven) Raven was reading her mother's letter over and over. Other than the book that was the only way to feel like her mother was sitting right beside her. Do not be sad, because I have died for a good cause…Azerath has fell to pieces ever since you left. Our ruler was assassinated by your…by your father. I did not tell Topanga this, so please keep it our secret. I told her that her father died before she was born because I didn't want her to fear that her father would kill her. Do not try and defy him…I have tried for years to contact you, but since you went so far away I couldn't reach you…I want you to take Topanga and go back to Earth and never come to Azerath ever again. I don't want you or Topanga getting hurt or even killed like I have. Start a new life, and forget Azerath ever existed. How can I forget Azerath? I have lived here almost my whole life. The only place that my mother has ever lived. How can I forget my mother, my whole childhood?
"Raven? What's wrong?" Robin asked all of the sudden like a ghost. I turned around to see if he was really there. Of course, he was. "What are you talking about, I'm fine." I answered knowing he wouldn't believe me anyway. "I'm sure you're far from fine Raven." "I know. It's like my whole world has turned upside-down. I don't know if I can go on, like I have nothing to live for." A tear started to run down my cheek when Robin wiped it from my face. "I know what you're going though. The same thing happened to me when my parents died." He has no idea what I'm going though, I thought to myself. "You know Raven, you do have something to live for…your sister." I thought to myself. "How did you know she was my sister?" "You and her are so similar it's hard not to notice." "I promised on my mother's grave I would take care of her." Robin stood up and before he walked off he solemnly whispered, "If there's anything I can do to help just tell me." "There's nothing you can do to ease the pain." "I understand." "Robin, wait. I have a question but don't take it the wrong way." "I'll try not to." "How long did it take you to get over your families' death?" Robin looked like the question had brought up many memories of his family and how happy they were together. "In a way I haven't really got over it, 'cause that was my family, my best friends, my life." "I'm going after him." I said with the sound of revenge in my voice. "Who?" "My father, or as Topanga puts it, the Destroyer." "Revenge isn't the answer Raven. I tried it once and almost got myself killed." I had no response to give. "Think about it. If you got killed Topanga will have nothing to live for. Me and the rest of us wouldn't be the Teen Titans without you." Then he turned around and went to sleep with the others.
I sat alone in the dim campfire light thinking only of revenge on my father for killing my mother and almost everyone in Azerath, for destroying Azerath and my life. To avenge my mother would make the pain go away. Knowing that the man that killed my mother was dead would ease my mind. Just knowing that he's still alive to strike again makes me sick to my stomach. He must die, even if it goes to the death. What about Topanga? If I die killing him then there will be nobody there for her to call "sister". Nobody.
I walked silently over to the sleeping Topanga and tapped her on the shoulder. "What do you want?" she said in a tired voice. "I'm leaving." "What!" she yelled in a whisper. "Why?" "I'm getting revenge on fa…the Destroyer." "Are you crazy? Even mom couldn't beat him. How do you expect to?" "I have enough hate for him in my heart I could blow up what's left of Azerath 100 times." "You can't go. If you die I'll have nothing to live for." I couldn't stay any longer. If she keeps this up I won't be able to leave without a guilty conscience (not that I already had one). "Good-bye Topanga." As I turned to leave I heard her start to cry a sentence that I almost cried back; "I love you."