Joint Ficcage Challenge Numero Uno:
Kaitou In A Closet
This Version By Shyro Foxfeather
Main Objective: Kaitou Kid and Hakuba get shoved into a closet together…somehow. Pons are ever present as an accidental burst of magic leads to disastrous results…
Sometimes even Kaito's not sure exactly how his magic works…
……
(Hakuba's Point of View)
I really should have expected this…really. I mean, when was the last time the Kid was straightforward about anything? Hakuba mentally growled as he coughed out a couple of feathers—now wet and plastered to their stems. Smoke bombs had showered confetti, streamers, and the usual assortment of colorful items, along with some newly added silver feathers, into the room of the main exhibit. Which was where a very fragile looking piece of jewelry with a firey-dance of color was melded onto the front of the bloody thing.
The announcement card the Kid had granted them with had had a simple message on it:
'Ekoda Museums galore. When the clock strikes three watch your head. Passing paws may trample so watch the wolf with great care…
Kaitou Kid'
I knew it was too bloody easy. The time and date stated right on the card—stupid thief. Hakuba internally muttered to himself. It was damn hard to look through the torrent of feathers whipping around the room (oddly enough the birds, themselves, were absent). Wild animal exhibit…Hakuba's head whipped around as an odd clink sound echoed behind him. A flash of white and— Gothcha!
A silk-clothed hand twirled the fires of the gold and ruby necklace in one nimble hand. "Tantei-san." He greeted, looking rather pleased and smug as many of the police did not spot him in the winds of gray smoke and silver feathers. His feet were balanced firmly on the frozen muzzle of the giant stone wolf that's body housed the anciet jewlry like a display case. "I apologize for my note. It did seem to lack bravado, ne?" He taunted, somewhat faintly.
Hakuba's eyes narrowed and made no move to lunge after him. "Yes, it was rather…plain." His lips turned upwards and fashioned themselves into a faint flash of a victorious grin. "But…you underestimated me."
Kid paused but before he had time to even consider pondering this a pinprick of pain shot out from his left shoulder blade.
Hakuba's grin widened momentarily as the sniper with the tranquilizer gun—sitting precariously on a balcony twenty yards outwards from the open window behind the wolf—brought the weapon down. The Kaitou swayed as if affected by the slowing blaze of smoke. This is it; we're going to CATCH THE KID! Hakuba swallowed a lump of guilt. Shouldn't… I be happier about this?
A hardened look flickered onto the Kid's face, bringing Hakuba jolting back to reality. The Kaitou tore the dart out of his shoulder and dove into the smoke below as it began to dissolve evenly into the air like a blanket of fog. Oh no you—argh—Kid!
The entrance door was swinging on his hinges as he got to it and the few cops in the room were unconscious on the floor behind him. That explains the lack of interference…and help! Dammit!
The odd clattering of dress shoes on linoleum rung out from the hall to his right and he charged after it. Knowing Kid this is probably a trick but…he's under influence of the dart right? It should throw him off…Was it unfair of us to do that—No! Hakuba bit back the inner doubt that fogged his mind. He's gotten US with sleeping gas HOW many times now?
When he turned the corner he was startled to see the Kid facing the closed window with something akin to doubt… He seems like he's in a daze. The detective noted as he cautiously walked forward. Something's wrong…
The sound of the strengthened glass from the window shattering rung in his ears. This time it seemed the cry of bullets could be heard as they chipped the floor. The Kaitou veered into him as he clattered backwards. Yep—he's not a lightweight, since one dart is supposed to put a wolf to sleep… Something buzzed into Hakuba's mind. Wolf…wolf! He meant that we might get shot! And he's the wolf? What-?
The light feeling of being carried rushed through his system until he felt himself lightly hit the ground. Hakuba stared…
And stared…
The sheer absurdity of the situation was remarkable. Here he was with the thief lying sprawled out unconscious on his lap…somehow…he was wearing his clothes, too. Okay…so this does not look good.
Hakuba pried the deerstalker off the head lying over his right leg…spiked hair. He replaced the hat. At least it's not something strange like…being in each other's bodies…Ugh. Silk boxers-? What the bloody hell is the Kid thinking wearing that! He realized with a turn of his stomach that…he was wearing his boxers right now.
…I kind of hate you right now. I really truly do. Hakuba glared bitterly at the thief…it didn't very last long.
He leaned back as he looked about the pitch-black room and wondered where they were. A mop fell on him. Okay…that answers that. Broom closet. What floor though? We were on the third and the closest on is on the fifth…How DID we get here. I'm certain I'M not the one passing out here…
The body on his lap shifted a nudge before shooting up like a startled leopard. There was a slight glaze over the one visible eye of his 'opponent'… He's still wearing that monocle?…looks rather strange with the deerstalker and all. I wonder if I should be checking my pockets for doves right about now?
Kaitou Kid blinked, looked at Hakuba, and blinked again. "Did you steal my clothes?" He yelped, alarmed.
"No!" Hakuba shot back indignantly and the kaitou flew off his lap in bewilderment. "You steal, not me!"
Kid patted his torso and stuck his hands in the pockets at his side. "Awww…no magnifying glass." Hakuba glared in return. "Fine! Can't take a joke can you Tantei-san?" The Kid chuckled and the normally mocking sound filled the detective with a little bit of relief. "So…how'd we get here?" A pause. "And WHY am I wearing YOUR clothes."
Hakuba's eyes widened. "You did it, didn't you?" He asked, startled. "It was YOU who caused that cloud of smoke that got us here!"
The Kid shook his head. "Nope. Or, at least, I doubt it."
There was a long silence.
"Look," the Kid began, "how about we change clothes, leave, and forget this ever happened. And if I find a tracer in my coat I will feed you your bird cage, agreed?"
Hakuba paused. Kid normally doesn't threaten people like that but…I know who he really is and the drugs must still be affecting him. "Okay then. Nothing much can be done here, I suppose…" Hakuba's uncertainty gave way to a resilient fire. "But, I'm NOT letting you off next time, Kaitou Kid!" He would later curse himself for not adding '-san' at the end. He was getting to caught up in all this.
"Agreed." The bandit assured him. "Besides," a smug grin was faintly visible in the ever-present darkness, "tweed boxers are itchy."
"…Now you know why I hate Christmas."
"……I didn't even know they made tweed boxers."
"Shut up!"
"Hey, c'mon…Tweed?"
"…Jerk…"
…Owari…
…
Disclaimer: Magic Kaitou and it's psychotic cast are sole property of Gosho Aoyama—albeit that doesn't stop rampant plot bunnies (Plunnies is it?) from destroying my brain…
This was a war-ficcage. Goover's version is probably going to be—or was—much different than mine. If you haven't read her's yet procede to my Fav Author list and find her name. It should have the same title…
Ahem. I'm quite happy with this lil' fic seeing as it will probably be one of my favorites… I haven't written in sooo long that I must say this:
I'm baaaaaaaaaaAAAACK!
Heh…and, ano, to those whom I promised that I would update 'In The Eyes of the Beholder', I'm sorry. I didn't mean to have not updated it yet. School is evil and that is ALL I'll say (some authors rant about this in great detail so I'll spare you that)…
More ficcage soon!
(PS-I'm also kinda wondering how long I had Beika and Ekoda mixed up…)
(Edit: Whoa… I went back and re-read this and the first paragraph just hurt my brain! I'm so sorry! Bad editing—ack! -Stab-)