Kanpeki na Hana
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"M'lady, if you would grant me the honor of bearing my--," the lecherous monk's sentiment was cut abruptly short when the honed edge of an annoyed Sango's hiraikotsu collided with the back of his skull. He promptly relinquished his hold of the maiden's hands and brought his own to his painfully throbbing skull.
"Sango what--?" he began, rubbing his head with watering eyes. Yet, the young demon slayer had already gone. Only Kagome, Shippo and InuYasha remained in the proximity, all harboring looks of utmost loathing towards the houshi.
Sighing deftly, the young maiden folded her arms about her knees, drawing them towards her chest, and lay her head upon her knees. Her creamy complexion was accented by a faint, creeping rose tint lining her cheeks, yet her eyes, ones of the deepest chestnut, bore a tired empty look. A wounded look. 'How could I be so stupid?' she scolded herself mentally, closing her eyes against the radiating white light cast by the great celestial orb hanging in the sky, sparsely covered by an omnipresent wisp of silver clouds. 'How could I let myself fall into the illusion that he was serious… that he would ever stop his lecherous ways for me… that 'we' could actually happen…' She shook her head slightly, raven-black tendrils of her hair slipping from it's loose tie and cascading loosely over her shoulders.
"Mmg… how could I let myself get so worked up over that lecherous houshi anyways?" she mumbled quietly, her hands clenching slightly over the material of her kimono.
"Sango…?" a pensive voice called out among the gentle whispering winds of night. She flinched at the sound of her name being called and turned abruptly away from the source of the voice.
Grass rustled for a few moments as the figure steadily approached where she sat, and then, lowered himself onto the ground next to her, the trails of his violet and black robes falling dankly in place around him, and clashing horribly with the deep emerald of the late-spring grass.
"Sango…" he began again, slowly, his voice soft, yet holding a serious note that she had rarely ever heard him use. When she did not move to face him, or indeed show any sign of having acknowledged his presence, he continued on. His voice grew reflective, and he directed his gaze towards the heavens as he continued, probably more so to himself than to her.
"We've been following Naraku for some years now as a group. Since Kagome's arrival in the Sengoku Jidai, it's been three years… But before that… I was chasing him on my own, unsuccessfully, I might add. Even now, though we're nearer to defeating him, we haven't yet. But, that news, which was once so painful for me to have to bear, is much easier because you are all at my side. I'm no longer alone."
He held up his right hand, the glove and sealing rosary of his wind tunnel illuminated in the moon's ethereal light. At his motion, Sango turned her head to look at him curiously.
"The news that Naraku always slips away from us is hard to bare, but it's easier with you all. Before I met you all, all that possessed my mind was to hunt down and kill Naraku while I had the chance, meeting Lady Kagome, InuYasha and then later you, Sango, changed things for me. I had friends, I wasn't alone. My own purposes for killing Naraku faded into wanting to kill Naraku to see the end of my friends' pain. I stopped caring, at many points' about my own welfare and risked myself for you all, willingly embracing my inevitable fate."
His hand closed into a fist, falling back to his side, and he fell silent, his eyes falling upon the ground, and for the first time that she had known him, she was certain she saw a flicker of uncertainty and fear in his azure eyes. "The winds… they do get stronger every year. The wind tunnel widens every year as the winds get stronger… it's an unrelenting cycle. I know that with each sunset I may not rise to see the new dawn, and I know that with every new dawn I do witness, I may never see another…"
"Miroku…" Sango whispered quietly, turning fully to face him. Her voice was soft and concerned. This was the first time she had ever heard him, who was always so optimistic about their chances at finding and destroying Naraku and his whole ordeal, talk this way about himself.
He lifted his head and glanced at his worried companion, the familiar warm, though slightly mischievous glint returned in his eyes, "Gomen nasai Sango, I don't mean to talk this way to you."
She shook her head slowly, sending more of her hair falling like black silk over her shoulders, "N-no, don't be silly, Miroku" she replied hurriedly, "I don't mind… I just never knew you felt that way… please, don't stop on my account. We all deserve the chance to lift the burdens we carry on our souls."
"Indeed," he began nodding in understanding. He lifted his left hand slowly, placing it atop one of hers, and stroking her smooth flesh in a slow circular pattern with his thumb. "Arigatou, Sango."
Her eyes fell warily upon his hand on hers, her gaze brimming with distrust. "Uh-huh" she began slowly, her face burning as a new blush fell upon her features. She pulled her hand away, causing his to fall atop her knee.
"Should you be with me like this, Miroku?" she asked bitterly, resentment eking out in her voice as she turned from him again.
"What do you mean?" he asked confused.
"You wouldn't want to upset your princess would you? She may become jealous…" Of course, there's nothing she'd need to worry about, he couldn't stay faithful to one woman if his life depended on it… she concluded in her mind.
"You're mistaken my dear Sango. There is only one woman who my heart belongs to." He replied, smiling his famous heart-warming smile.
"Spare me. I've heard it before" she replied turning to face him with a hurtful glare.
He sighed, and brought his right hand up to her cheek. She blushed furiously but did not pull away as his fingers began to trace gentle patterns on her flesh.
"Sango, you're the only one who doesn't pull away from my touch. From my cursed hand…" As he said this, she took a moment to notice that his hand was trembling slightly as it cupped her cheek.
"Why are you telling me this?" she asked, her voice quivering slightly.
"Because… you need to understand. Out of all the women I've asked to bare me an heir," at this, she gave him a reproachful look, but he went on, "you're the only one to accept… even after knowing about my cursed hand. And the fate which awaits me in turn."
"Maybe so, but even my word doesn't seem good enough for you, does it?" she asked, the pain resurfacing in her voice as she reflected bitterly on the forgone hours. "It's just a game to you… a joke… my lo--, eh, feelings for you are just laugh, though, aren't they?"
"What are you talking about, Sango?" he asked slowly.
"Think about it…" she whispered, pulling away from his touch once more, "my word means nothing to you… as far as you've gone with other women what am I to you? It's a joke. I just can't compare. They're all rich, powerful, attractive women… A simple boy-ish girl like me just can't compare… that's why you treat me different."
"You're wrong…" he began slowly, "I treat you different because you're special to me. That's why I asked you after all."
"Right. Which is why even after I said yes, you still ask every other woman you see!" she choked out angrily, holding the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes at bay.
"That's not why…"
"Then tell me why!" she demanded, a few silver tears trickling down her cheeks, "Tell me… what if we don't defeat Naraku! What if you… what if you…" she choked, not being able to finish her sentence. "Well… what then?"
His eyes widened in shock. Sango had never gotten this distressed over the fact that they may not beat Naraku. And, rarely did she shed tears because of the treacherous things he had done.
"That's exactly why things are the way they are," he sighed heavily.
"What do you mean?"
"You said it yourself. What if we don't defeat Naraku? What if I die?" A stifled sob escaped her as he said the last sentence, but he continued on in spite of the fact. "That's why I can't do this to you Sango. If you bore me a child, and I died before defeating Naraku, you would be in so much pain. Having just lost the father of your child, and presumably at that point, your husband, and knowing that your child holds the same fate. I can't hurt you like that."
"Yes, well you're doing a fine job of not hurting me now, aren't you?" she asked sarcastically.
"Believe me Sango, if and when we beat Naraku, my heart is yours, just as it is now. But then, my heart will be yours with less painful strings attached."
"How do I know you're not lying?" she asked flatly, "how do I know that you do care for me, and that you really don't care more for the beautiful women you ask to bare your children?"
He sighed and lifted his hand to her chin, lifting her tear-streaked face to his. Her eyes widened in uncertainty, but he tired nothing, merely spoke.
"Because to me… the only beautiful woman I see is you."
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Author's Ramblings
Alright, please be gentle with the reviews, this is the first InuYasha fanfiction I've written in quite some time (been to caught up on YYH). Hopefully they aren't to OOC though, but tell me if they are, ne? Thanks. Please leave your name at the door with a review, thanks and Ja.
