Title: I Can't Be Without You
Author: TakerTakeMe
Disclaimer: I own no one and (as usual) everything that happens is fictional.
Summary: When Chris won't leave his wife, Stephanie does the unthinkable!
Chapter: 2
He closed his eyes as his heart felt like it was painfully ripped from his chest. His one true love...gone. And it was all his fault.
"Damn it!" Stephanie said angrily.
He heard clicking sounds and opened his eyes a little. He expected to see blood everywhere, brains dripping off the headboard. His heart nearly stopped when he opened his eyes and saw her sitting on the bed looking at the gun in her hand with disgust.
"Stephy, what the hell?" he said hoarsely, rushing over to the bed.
"I forgot to load the bullets," she whispered, tossing the gun on the floor before jumping into his arms.
"What were you thinking, Stephy?" he asked into her hair as he hugged her. "Were you going to leave me just like that?"
"Chris... I..." She started sobbing. "Chris, I can't be without you. Last night you said you couldn't leave your wife, and that just broke my heart. I can't live without you."
"You don't have to. I'm here now," he said soothingly, rubbing her back.
"Yes, you're here now," she said, "but how long is 'now'? That's what bothers me, Chris. I love you so much that life isn't worth living without you here with me."
"I feel the same way," he whispered. "That's why I left her."
She pulled back to look at him. "You left her?" she asked, amazed.
"Yes. After out conversation last night, I realized how foolish I would be to stay with her when you are my one true love," he said. "Of course, details will have to be worked out, but you know where my heart lies, Stephy, and that's with you."
"How'd you get here so fast?" she asked curiously.
"I drove all damn night, baby," he said. "I wanted to surprise you. But instead..."
"Instead, I almost gave you a surprise," she said. "Look, I'm sorry about that, sweetie, but the prospect of a life without you is bleak and sad for me. So I figured, what's the use in living?"
"Don't ever think that way," he told her. "Ok?"
She nodded, giving him a shaky smile, then stood up. "I'm going to go get a shower, ok?"
"That's fine..." He watched her walk around the room, gathering up some stuff, then heading into the shower. He heard the water start to run. He stood up and picked up the gun off the floor. He couldn't believe what she had almost done to herself. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he found himself wondering what he would've done if she'd actually remembered to load the bullets. I probably would've shot myself, too, he thought. It would've been a regular Romeo and Juliet. And that thought scared him.
He put the gun in a box in the closet and shut the closet door. They had bought that gun for protection, not for suicide attempts.
With a sigh, he went back over to the bed and sat down. And that's when he noticed the envelope. Picking the envelope up, he saw that his name was written on it in Stephanie's pretty handwriting. He opened the envelope and started reading, realizing that this was her intended suicide letter. But he couldn't stop reading...
Dear Chris, my love, my heart and soul... I can't imagine living life without you. I hate to be away from you. I can't be without you, I can't exist knowing the simple fact that you're not mine to have. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Even back when we were "just friends" I was crazy about you. Now we're more than friends but we can't do anything. I envy Jessica more than I've envied anyone in my entire life. When I think of the way you touch me, I cringe at the thought that you touch her the same way... I think of how lucky she is to be your wife, to be the one who was able to pledge her heart to you in front to God and everyone else. And I think of how I'll never have the chance to share that sacred bond with you, because you're not going to leave her. I know that now. I also know that I'm rambling... I always ramble when I'm nervous, don't I? Get to the point, right? The point is, I love you with everything I am, everything I wanted to be... I cherish the time we spent together and all the sweet memories we made together. I love you more than life itself. I know I've been putting way too much pressure on you to leave your wife, and that wasn't cool. So to make things easier for you, I'm going to take myself out of the equation. Don't ever doubt my love for you, ok? Remember all the good times we shared and don't ever think this is your fault... If I don't have you, life is not worth living... Love Always, Stephy...
"Oh my God," he whispered. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God." He dropped the letter and his vision blurred. He couldn't help but let the tears fall. He wiped his eyes furiously with the back of his hand and stood up. Just as he stood up, Stephanie appeared in the doorway.
"Chrissy?" she said, clutching the doorframe so that she wouldn't fall. She looked pale and she was trembling.
"What's wrong?" he asked. He hurried over to her, bumping into something on the way. Looking down, he saw the empty bottle of Tylenol. He walked over to her. "You didn't... Tell me you didn't."
"I forgot to load the bullets," she said with a weak smile. "But I forgot to mention that I swallowed those...damn...pills..."
"Stephy, why?" was all he could bring himself to ask.
"I love you," she said in a breathy voice. "And I'm so sorry."
"I love you, too," he whispered.
And then she collapsed in his arms...