Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter. I own the rights to the books, the movies, the characters and the merchandising. I am J.K. Rowling. I am the president of Warner Brothers, Scholastic, Bloomsbury and any other company associated with the Harry Potter franchise. I will make billions upon billions of dollars off this story and I eagerly await the day that I get sued for it. Interestingly enough, I do not own any of the original characters that appear in this story, I am only renting them from you.
Alberix.Silver.Quill- Cheep Fish Baby is the name of a villain in Super Mario games. I write a lot of Mario fanfics.
Chapter 2
Cheep Fish Baby spent the whole night wondering about why that Harry Potter boy had a lightning shaped scar. This seemed to be a mystery so great that not even he could figure it out, and he was the smartest person in the universe. Of course the reader has no idea that I'm trying to establish some sort of long-lost connection between Cheep Fish Baby and Harry, because I'm weaving it all so subtly together.
As he stepped down into the great hall the next morning, after just barely escaping a gang of autograph-seekers, he saw several Slytherins were glaring at him. But deep down they just did it because they were so jealous of how perfect he was in every way and his rugish hair.
"Hello, Marian Shannen Canmore…" said Hermione longily. "I didn't properly introduce myself yesterday, my name is Hermi-desperate-for-you Granger-Canmore, er, I mean just Hermione Granger. My middle's name Jane, and I can straighten my hair if you don't like it."
Of course I remember you Mione, how could I forget such a beautiful girl like you. He wrote in the air. Hermione fainted.
And you're Ronald Billius Weasley, right?
"Yeah," said Ron. "How did you know my middle name?"
I know everything. And you're…HARRY POTTER!"Why did you italicize my name for?" asked Harry.
Well I have to show emotion somehow. Say, you're not eavesdropping are you! He shouted to the whole hall."Well, if you want to have a private conversation writing big fiery letters in the air isn't the way to do it." Said one Ravenclaw student. "But I still love you."
Cheep Fish Baby sighed and got out a piece of parchment and pointed his wand at it to make words appear on it.
Who's that blond boy with the cold, freezing, metallic grey piercing soulful devious eyes over there glaring at me?
"That thing over there is called Draco Malfoy, and we all hate him, and he hates us," said Hermione, who will from henceforth be called only Mione since Cheep Fish Baby thought that was cooler.
Well, if he's a bully I won't let him bother us. But maybe he's only a sad abused little boy who feels rejected by everyone who assumes he's evil because of his father, and maybe he's also gay. So, today I start class. I'm so nervous. Oh woe is my at how nervous I am.
"It's okay, I'm sure you'll do brilliantly. After all, you do have great hair."
As Harry predicted, Cheep Fish Baby's first week went brilliantly. He immediately impressed all of teacher's just by smiling, he answered every question, and had done all the homework for the coarse before school had began. The teacher's all decided that they wouldn't bother marking him and would just give him 100 now, and would only be expected to come to class to set a good example for the other stupider and uglier children with bad hair. The only teacher in the school who didn't like him was…get ready for this…SEVERUS SNAPE! He treated Cheep Fish Baby so badly that it made his behavioir to Harry look like that of a loving father. In fact, if I were to describe a Potions class to you now it would probably give you a heart attack. So just cry imagining how horrible it is.
It was on Friday afternoon, after class had finished, that Cheep Fish Baby was walking down a hall and saw Ginny, Harry, and Draco Malfoy at the end of the corridor. He hid behind a conviently placed pillar and listened in on the conversation. But that doesn't make him an eavesdropper.
"What does you think you're doing here, Potter?"
"I'm only just placing a sign asking for new players to sign up for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Does that scare you Malfoy?"
"Scare me! Ha! Slytherin is a million times better than Gryffindor and there's nothing you can do about it!"
"That's it Malfoy, you've crossed the line on that one! That was the most horrible thing I've ever heard you say!" Ginny pulled out her wand, and so did Draco. Harry screamed like a little girl. Cheep Fish Baby banished Draco's wand from his hand.
Leave them alone Malfoy!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed and ran away.
"Thank goodness, you saved my life!" cried Ginny.
"Wait, YOU saved her life," said Harry, "…but I save people's lives…"
Whatever. So, you're looking for new quidditch players.
"Yeah, we need a new chaser since Katie Bell left last year."
Wait, Katie's not here but Malfoy is…I don't understand when this story is taking place at all.
"Don't bother, it's pointless," said Harry.
"So, are you interested in Quidditch, Cheep Fish Baby?" asked Ginny.
Oh yes, I love Quidditch. I love it more than anyone on Earth, because when I do something, I do it better than anyone on Earth!
"Well maybe you could consider trying out?" asked Ginny.
Well, I'm sure I would look good in the team robes…
"Tryouts are this Saturday," said Harry angrily. "Let's go Ginny."
Harry complained about how stupid Cheep Fish Baby's hair was for the rest of the night until Mione finally threatened to kill him. Of course that night he begged God to forgive him for having thought such thoughts.
That Saturday, Cheep Fish Baby quickly proved his was the best at Quidditch. Ever. He blew everyone away during tryouts, and they offered him the position straightaway. He said he would have to think about it first, because he's cool. So, to help coarce him, the team agreed all have a team practise the next day.
Half-way through the game, Demelza Robins tried to score in the goalpost. Ron wasn't there to protect it, a bludger was following him as was a beater, the other beater was preoccupied with a bludger following Harry. In one quick motion, Cheep Fish Baby dived and caught the quaffle, throw it so hard that it landed in the goalpost on the other side of the pitch, grabbed the club out of the beater's hand, knocked the bludger harrassing Ron into the one harrassing Harry, and just for good measure, caught the snitch. The rest of the team looked on in awe.
"He…he played every single position at once!" cried Ginny.
"I think I wet my pants," said Demelza.
"Please, please, please, Cheep Fish Baby, tell us you'll join the team!" asked Harry.
Well, okay. But only because it's fun.
The rest of the team promptly decided that he was much better than all of them put together, and, if Madam Hooch would allow it, would let him play alone against the other teams the rest of the season, since they could only get in his way.