Chapter 4
Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon and Anakin quickly settled into a routine at the Temple; their first cycle together on Coruscant consisted of Qui-Gon instructing Anakin, who also attended other lessons with the Temple, while also teaching other classes for older padawan learners, and Obi-Wan spent as much of his time with the master and apprentice as he did apart from them. As yet, he and Qui-Gon had still not talked about their soulbond or the future. The bond itself was uncompleted. Obi-Wan was restless and Qui-Gon sensed the turmoil in his young love. The Jedi master was willing to give Obi-Wan the time he needed to reconcile both parts of his duties as a Jedi with each other before further complicating it with a soulbond. Qui-Gon woke many mornings to find Obi-Wan in his arms when they had been empty when he had gone to sleep, the young man succumbing to the call of the bond if only for an hour or so.
He suspected it might seem strange to the Council that they waited so long to join together completely, but Qui-Gon knew Obi-Wan like no other; he felt his restlessness and beneath that he felt something more. A fear, perhaps, or a doubt as to the rightness of the bond and the kind of love they felt for each other. Both Jedi had spent many years alone and were dedicated to their lives as Jedi. Their soulbond was more than true love's presence within the Force; it was a destiny that no one knew the meaning of.
Qui-Gon knew all this and let Obi-Wan distract himself with whatever the perceived threat he had discovered was. He did not know if it was serious nor asked the knight the nature of the shadow. He let it be and the three together became a unit; reconnecting and forging new friendships.
"We should force the issue."
Mace looked around the Council chamber and did not like that more than one member of the Council was nodding their agreement to the suggestion.
"The bond is important to the order," the other Council member continued. "We have a right to know of its progress."
Mace knew that Qui-Gon would be angry if he ever heard about the contents of this meeting, but it was not his old friend's anger that worried him, it was the anger of someone far more dangerous. It seemed, to Mace as he sat and listened to the other Jedi argue back and forth on an issue they had not control over, that since Obi-Wan's return to the living his colleagues had forgotten just who the young man was; without the veil of shadows, Obi-Wan Kenobi was just as vulnerable to the Council's scrutiny as any other young knight.
"We cannot order Obi-Wan," Mace reminded them, hoping to inject some reason into the unreasonable debate.
"In matters concerning his duties as Warrior that is true," Mundi said, sounding like a man who believed he had found a loop-hole to a particularly difficult problem, "but the bond does not fall under that category."
Mace was not sure that the young Jedi Warrior would see it that way and it was becoming apparent to Mace that the Shadow could not separate himself out into parts and he knew that if he was beginning to see this, it would not be long before the Jedi in question realised it also. Trying to get a room full of Jedi masters who could not understand what it meant to be the Jedi protector to grasp this was not going to be easy. He turned to Yoda for help, but the words died in his throat when he saw the smirk on the ancient Jedi's face.
His brows furrowed in confusion.
"And you are in a position to judge that?"
The voice was new, but not unfamiliar. Mace looked to the shadows and saw a figure step from them. In the past, Obi-Wan had pulled this trick on him, and it had irritated him. Watching it happen now to someone else caused him to understand Yoda's smug look and produced one of his own.
"Knight Kenobi," Mundi greeted. "You were not called to this meeting."
"I know," the young man said as he came to stand in the room's centre. "And yet I came anyway."
Obi-Wan's tone was casual and respectful, but Mace detected the underlying threat there. Mundi, however, seemed to be oblivious.
"It is time you learnt your place, boy."
Mace watched the unfolding confrontation with interest and a feeling of dread which was why he saw the exact moment when Obi-Wan ceased to be Knight Kenobi and became the Jedi Warrior. Every line of his body changed; it spoke of a predator in waiting, of constrained power and of death but a hair's breadth away. The room seemed chilled as the mask of indifference fell upon the Warrior's face.
"I know my place," he said, his voice harsh and cold. "It is to protect the Jedi from within as well as from without."
"You question my allegiance?" For the first time Mundi seemed to realise his error.
"No," he replied, which was a relief to every Jedi present. "I answer to the Force; I protect its servants, even from themselves."
There was a brief pause as Obi-Wan made sure his point had been made.
"Since my return, with Qui-Gon, the Council has taken liberties in matters that do not concern it. I am still the Shadow, even when seen by all; you have to trust me to do my duty."
"It is not that we do not trust you…" Adi began, beseeching Obi-Wan to see their side.
"Isn't it?" Obi-Wan demanded back, unwilling to let Adi escape from the issue at hand.
There was an awkward silence.
"I understand that you fear I may turn," Obi-Wan allowed, dropping the harsh edge from his voice. "I am a Shadow in your world of Light." His voice was so lost in that instant that Mace desperately wanted to call to him, tell him he need not plunge into the cold waters of his senses just to appease the Council.
"I face the Darkness and it reaches out to embrace me," Obi-Wan continued, unaware that all the masters where now looking upon him with regret; regret that his path had led him to this place. "I can feel its power as it brushes against my skin and my mind, but I will not turn."
"Because of the bond," Yaddle spoke for the fist time, once more being the voice of the Warrior's heart from within the Council.
"Yes, it binds me to the Light."
"Which is why we are anxious for its fulfilment," Mundi said, relieved to have found a point of understanding. "With the Chosen One in the order, we need you, Obi-Wan."
"I understand." As they had talked, and the Council clearly showed their remorse, Obi-Wan's posture had relaxed, but with his parting words his body was once more rigid with restrained energy. "But if you interfere again I will not be responsible. Remember who I am when you make plans concerning Qui-Gon and myself. You have waited ten years for this, you can wait a little longer."
And then he was gone again, into the living shadows. Yoda had not spoken since the meeting had begun, choosing to let others say what lay within their hearts, but he spoke now.
"Follow the Force Obi-Wan does; know, we cannot, what he sees in its ripples. Allow him time we must, no choice we have. Adjusting he is to being Jedi and Warrior. Time it will take."
The Council broke up then, each master leaving with thoughts of a future not yet revealed to them, until only Mace, Yaddle and Yoda remained.
"I have a feeling you left something unsaid, Master Yoda," Mace said without looking at the ancient Jedi, watching the other Jedi leave.
"Hmph."
"Left unsaid it was, what it is that will take time." But it was not Yoda who answered. It was Yaddle. "Time it will take for Obi-Wan to realise he cannot be both. He is the Warrior, that is all."
"Live in shadows he does, and must," Yoda continued. "Until war is upon us and known to all it must be that Death lives and fights for the Light."
The day that the relationship between the bondmates changed was like many of those before it. Qui-Gon divided his time between his own apprentice and classes for the initiates and other padawans. Obi-Wan had left that morning before he awoke and throughout the day he felt his distraction. Since their return there had been no time for them to reconnect, let alone create a new dimension to their relationship. Qui-Gon willingly allowed his old apprentice all the time he required to grow accustomed to the changes in their lives and in truth he was happy to be patient; Obi-Wan was not the only one to have changed in five years. They had both become accustomed to being alone and now the master found himself with a new apprentice and a potential lover.
They were both unsure how to more forward. The Force may have brought them together but it did not help the transition from long estranged friends into bondmates; that was something they would have to do alone.
Walking side by side, two highly respected Jedi discussed the bondmates, hoping to find a way to help those that they cared for.
"Obi-Wan won't let us interfere."
"Interfering we are not," Yoda told Mace. "Concerned we are, as friends, yes?"
"Yes, but I'm not sure that either of them trust us to be able to separate ourselves from our roles on the Council."
"Some success you have had with Obi-Wan, yes," Yoda reminded Mace. "Talk to him again you should, leave my grand-padawan to me you will."
"Yes, Master," Mace said, not really having any reason to object. In truth he want to speak to Obi-Wan again, as his friend, for he worried for the young Jedi and he wanted to make sure that all was well with him.
Yoda ambled off to find his difficult grand-padawan. Mace watched him go, thinking that he had the easier of the two bondmates; at least Qui-Gon would pretend to be civil. Mace walked slowly to the Blossom garden, knowing that at this time of day Obi-Wan would be sitting by his tree, meditating.
"Master, what can I do for you?" Qui-Gon asked the ancient master, surprised to find him waiting outside his classroom after his lesson had come to an end.
"Speak to you I would, as your master I wish, not as a Council member."
"You want to talk about the bond." Qui-Gon looked at the other master and saw only concern. "Walk with me back to my quarters?"
"I will," Yoda accepted the invitation, knowing it was the best he was going to get.
"Competed the bond you have not?"
"No," was Qui-Gon's short answer.
"Come to me you once did, when problems you had, here for you I am, if needed I am."
"I know that, Master," Qui-Gon said truthfully, glancing down at the other Jedi as they walked. "But in this instance I prefer to find my own way."
"Understand that I do." Yoda stopped walking, forcing Qui-Gon to do likewise. "But ask you to consider this I do; why delay do you? The Force's will is it? You hearts? Or some other reason?"
Qui-Gon nodded, not wanting to answer too hastily; if Yoda was asking these questions then there was more to it that the simple answer.
"Leave you now I will."
Qui-Gon watched Yoda shuffle off down a different corridor. He almost called him back. He almost said that he did not believe that there was not much longer to wait, Obi-Wan grew closer every day. But he did not, respected instead Obi-Wan's request to keep it between them, keeping at least that small part of their lives private.
"Don't say anything." Mace had decided that he would simply say what he had come to the garden to say and then leave, letting Obi-Wan think on his words alone, rather than having another argument that could turn their friendship bitter.
Obi-Wan opened his eyes and studied the Council member with interest. Mace was obviously worked up about something, and it amused Obi-Wan to know he was the cause.
"I can tell by your face that you find my frustration amusing, so I ask you this, Obi-Wan; why do you procrastinate over the bond? Is it really because you are unsure or is it because of some need to show your independence to the Council?" Mace paused only long enough to make sure his audience of one was listening. Obi-Wan was and he looked annoyed.
'Good,' part of Mace whispered.
"If it is the former, than feel reassured with the knowledge that every Jedi in the Order believes you and Qui-Gon belong together. If it is the latter, then don't you think you've punished us and tortured Qui-Gon enough?"
Mace did not wait for a response; he did not wait for the angry words he knew bubbled inside Obi-Wan's mind. Instead he stalked off, back to his office, leaving a slightly dazed Jedi in his wake.
After Mace disappeared from sight, Obi-Wan closed his eyes once more to meditate, however, Mace's words gave him something else to focus on.
Qui-Gon returned home from a day of lessons weary and in anticipation of a long soak in hot bath and then settling down for the evening with a book and a calming cup of tea. However, when he opened the door to his quarters he stopped dead in his tracks; all thoughts of his bath and book left his mind completely.
The lights were off, but the whole apartment was alight with the flame of candles, dozens of them, and the silvery light of the moon, which fell into the living room through the open balcony doors. A light breeze swept through the apartment bringing with it the aroma of roasted fowl. Standing at the balcony doors, as if he had just set foot into the common room from outside, was Obi-Wan, dressed in full Jedi garb: clean, crisp cream tunics and heavy robe.
"It occurred to me," Obi-Wan said, without greeting, "That I was avoiding us for all the wrong reasons."
"The wrong reasons?" Qui-Gon inquired, dimly aware of the door closing behind him, shutting out the extra light from the corridor.
"The Council. I did it to test them and, I am ashamed to say, to irritate them."
"You're only human, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon reminded, feeling a little surer of himself.
"Nevertheless, I am sorry and I would like very much to have dinner with you tonight while I tell you of my plan." Obi-Wan tilted his head forward in polite invitation. "If you are so inclined."
"I'd be delighted," Qui-Gon answered, removing his cloak and making his way over to his old padawan. "You know what this sounds like to me, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan shook his head, taking Qui-Gon's hand in his own when he was finally within reach.
"A date," Qui-Gon answered softly.
"Yes, I suppose it does, and in so saying, you have guessed my plan." Seeing Qui-Gon's quizzical look he smiled and said, "Come, sit, we shall eat and talk. I have asked Anakin to stay with Master Yoda tonight so that we will not be disturbed."
The two Jedi went to the table and Qui-Gon sat when he was gently pushed into one of the dining chairs. With a grin, Obi-Wan turned and disappeared into the kitchen only to appear a moment later carrying their dinner. They sat and ate together as they once had, speaking of unimportant things and finding comfort in the simple pleasure of each other's company, both coming to realise that despite the years gone by, they were as close as ever. Finally, Obi-Wan turned their conversation to what was lurking in both their minds.
"We have been friends a long time, have we not? We were friends before, weren't we, Qui-Gon, when I was your apprentice?"
"Of course, I've always considered you a dear friend, Obi-Wan."
"Good, and so I begin to think that just because we have known each other for more than a decade that there is no reason why we should not indulge in a little romance." Obi-Wan paused, waiting for Qui-Gon's agreement.
"You know me well, Obi-Wan. I may be an old Jedi who dwells too much on the living Force, but at heart I am also an old romantic." Qui-Gon reached out to touch Obi-Wan's face, turning more serious. "I do not know what to say to you, my own, to make this easier for you, for us both."
"You don't need to make this easier, Qui-Gon, it already is. I love you," Obi-Wan said leaning into Qui-Gon's touch. "I've dreamed of the soulbond since I was eighteen, hoping you'd love me in the same way that I love you."
"I do, Obi-Wan."
"So here is my plan: a romance. I have taken quarters in the Knight's wing, I'll stay there until we wish to move forward in our own time."
"I will not lie and say that I will be pleased to see you go, but I see the merit in your idea. The Council rushed us and I think we rushed ourselves, despite your display of reluctance to annoy the Council." Qui-Gon stopped for a moment just to look at his companion and thought he had never looked so beautiful, basking as he was in the warm glow of candlelight and in his contentment. "I love you."
"And I love you, so really there is little else to worry about."
"Anakin," Qui-Gon said, the single name saying more than any list of problems.
"You are his master, he knows that, Qui-Gon. The only people questioning the bond it would seem is us, and I include you here, Qui-Gon, it is not just me. You go against the Council so often that people expect it, but you have always followed the Force."
"As have you."
"As have I; we are meant to be, Qui-Gon."
Upon hearing Obi-Wan's words, Qui-Gon's heart filled with love and anticipation. He stood and reached out for Obi-Wan. Taking his hand, he pulled him up so that they stood with their bodies pressed up against each other. Obi-Wan's head was tilted back gently so that he could look Qui-Gon in the eye.
"Meant to be?" Qui-Gon whispered, his lips so close to Obi-Wan's that the younger man could feel his breath.
"Yes," he hissed out before Qui-Gon claimed his mouth.
The kiss was electric and arousal spread through them quickly, the bond hungering to be completed. Feelings held back for far too many years rushed forward, reaching outward to its twin in the other man. The soulbond joining them surged to life and became a living thing within the Force, an incandescent light shining from it even in its incomplete state.
Hearing some unheard cue, both men pulled back and smiled at each other.
"I should go," Obi-Wan said quietly.
"I'd like to ask you to stay, but my heart warns me that it is not yet time for that."
"Soon, my love." Obi-Wan pulled free and went to the door. He stopped and turned once more and smiled again at his master. "I will see you tomorrow."
"Yes," Qui-Gon replied, reluctant for the evening to end. "Obi-Wan, would you care to join me for a picnic tomorrow for midmeal?"
"I'd like that very much."
Obi-Wan left and Qui-Gon retired to his room for the night. In the morning Anakin returned to find his master washing the dishes from the night before, but despite the chore, the Jedi was smiling, and so seeing, the Jedi padawan also smiled, pleased that his master and his friend were finally on the right path.