1Finding My Son, Finding Myself
Chapter Four
It was a quick walk back from the diner to the parking garage at One PP. Neither Bobby nor Alex spoke, but he did reach for her hand as they crossed the busy intersection at Park Row. The connection made him feel better. As they were hopping into the SUV, the mechanic, Tommy yelled to them, "Hey, don't let the tires get so low next time– it's not good for the tread."
"Thanks, Tommy!" Alex shouted back, her voice echoing in the cavernous cement structure.
Bobby was quiet during the drive. Alex knew that his mind must be racing and decided to leave him to his thoughts. She had the rest of the day to talk with him and swore to herself that she wasn't going to let him leave her apartment until she knew the whole story.
Bobby almost dreaded their arrival at the apartment – that meant that it was time for him to start talking. Alex opened the lock and as she and Bobby entered, he automatically went to the living and took off his suit jacket and loosened his tie.
"Make yourself comfortable," Alex had yelled from the kitchen. "Can I get ya' something?"
"No, thanks," he replied, exhaling a long breath.
She returned to the living room to find Bobby sitting in "his" spot – the end of the sofa he always seemed to gravitate to. She was carrying a glass of orange juice for each of them, even though he had declined the offer. He said "thanks" as she placed the glass on the table in front of him; the expression on his face so 'far away,' she wondered if he had even noticed her contradictory action.
She sat sideways on the couch, so as to face him, with one leg tucked under and reached for the envelope, once again examining the pages for mor information.
"Okay, I guess its just best if you start at the beginning — and try not to leave anything out. I wanna' understand how you ended up in a situation like this.
Bobby sat back, his elbow leaning on the arm rest, his head tilted to the right, resting on his fist. Alex could sense his anxiety.
"It's okay, Bobby. The hardest part of doing anything is getting started. She looked at him sympathetically, but the look was wasted, as he was staring forward and couldn't see the care in her eyes.
"You've been holding a lot of — things in for a long time. I guarantee you'll feel better, once you get 'em out."
He sighed heavily. "I jus– I don't wanna' — I get really upset thinking about it."
Alex reached for the box of Kleenex from the end table next to her and placed it on the sofa, next to Bobby. "It's all right to be upset; anybody would be. So, let's start at the beginning. How did you meet?"
Bobby swallowed hard and began:
"Umm, back in Narcotics in '92, up at the 114th in the Bronx. I was assigned to go under cover and infiltrate Vasquez' drug ring. He had other sources of income, too –– ties to a 'chop shop,' running numbers, that sorta' thing, but the drugs...that was the main thing. I worked my way in; eventually we got real close – he trusted me...started bringing me around his place, his parents' house, ya' know, for family parties, Holiday's, that kinda' thing. Umm, that's where I met Maria Elena – she still lived at home with her parents."
"How old was she?"
Bobby hesitated, almost mumbling out of embarrassment, "She, umm, she had just turned 22."
Alex eyebrows raised, but she remained silent.
"I was 33 at the time, but my cover was that I was 27, so, umm, her parents and Benny — they didn't worry too much about the age difference...wh-when I asked her out. She had to work right out of high school to help her family..."
Alex interrupted, "With all that drug money, he wasn't taking care of them?"
Bobby shook his head, "No...he was livin' large for himself...fancy apartment, tricked-out car, jewelry, clothes...always had a wad of hundreds. I actually asked him about that once and he got pissed off. I began to wonder if his parents refused his financial help 'cause they knew it was dirty money. Anyway, I backed off 'cause I couldn't offer an explanation as to why I'd care about it.
So, anyway, Maria Elena, she worked for a while and then enrolled in Bronx Community College – business courses, sh-she wanted to open her own business one day and help the family.
I was deep with Benny by then, like one of the family. On the nights I wasn't doin' a job with him, I spent all my time with her."
Alex looked at him with only a hint of admonishment, "You broke the cardinal rule in undercover — you got personally involved."
Bobby nodded, "I know, b-but..."
"That's okay, Bobby...what happened happened — go on."
"We dated for five or six months before it got serious."
" 'Serious' as in 'physical?'"
Bobby nodded, "All right," he admitted with some annoyance, "...before we slept together for the first time."
Alex softened her voice, "five or six months?" she repeated; "that must be a world record for you."
He looked at her, head tilted, eyebrows furrowed, his face revealing the disdain for her comment.
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to make you laugh – help you relax."
He was quiet.
"I'm sorry," she repeated, holding up her hand in a pledge, "No more wise ass remarks, I promise."
Bobby continued, his voice even lower than before. "It, umm, it was a really big step for her."
"It was her first time? She was a virgin?"
He nodded.
"She must have fallen hard for you... a young woman's first love."
"Yeah...well, it-it was mutual."
He sat, still facing forward, but Alex saw his eyes shift in her direction; he was trying to see her reaction – and the look on her face, the care for him that he saw in her eyes gave him the comfort to continue.
"The operation against Vasquez continued, but, I knew the end was sight. I started to worry 'cause I didn't know what I was gonna' do when Maria Elena found out. I was in love with her; I was spending more time with her than I was with Benny. The guys in Command noticed, but I convinced them that everything was cool — that I was just playin' her, then, umm, then Benny's birthday came around —umm, beginning of May... May of '93 and he planned himself this big birthday weekend — his whole crew –um, he took us down to Atlantic City...Maria Elena came along. By that time, Benny knew about us and he was actually pretty cool with it— he got us a room together."
Alex nodded.
"Benny was hittin' it hard at the tables – winning big. We couldn't drag him away, so, umm, I told him we'd meet up later and I was gonna' take Maria Elena out to dinner. We were almost at the end of our meal –at some fancy steak house at the Trump Taj Mahal — and this guy I knew, a Cop — comes over to the table and starts talking about how good it is to see me, and the old days in the Academy and how we worked together at the 86th when we first started and..."
"And that was the end of that," Alex interjected, shaking her head, "He blew it."
"Hold it, right there," she said, holding up her index finger; she picked up the phone and began dialing.
"Wh-who are you calling?" Bobby asked with surprise.
"V & T ...it's almost lunch time. Hi, Vinny, it's Alex. Can I get an order delivered?" She covered the receiver with her hand and asked Bobby, "You want the usual?"
"I'm not hungry," he said, shaking his head.
She ignored him, amused as she noticed the empty glass of OJ that he didn't want, either. "Thanks, Vin, I need a chicken parm hero and a side of tomato and mozzarella salad and I'll have the eggplant parm hero. Nope, that's it. Thanks."
She hung up the phone and turned back towards Bobby. "So, go ahead...your cover was blown...what did she do?"
"She got up and ran out," he said, now talking more like his old self, with the non-stop hands. "I thought she was running straight to Benny. I threw money on the table and went after her. When I caught up with her...she was really upset...crying. We went back to the room and I tried to get her to calm down...it–it would've been better if she were yelling at me — it would've been easier, but, she was just so...so hurt and crying. I told her I would tell her everything."
Alex nodded for him to continue.
"So, I told her...I told her I was cop...that it was a sting operation against Benny and his gang...what my real name was...and tha-that I was really 34."
"Must've been a pretty big shock – how did she react?"
Hands still flailing, Bobby answered, "She didn't care about any of it — all she wanted was the answer to one question."
Alex nodded and guessed, "If you were playin' her too — if it was all just an act, or if you really loved her?"
"I told her that...well, I told her — things and, and she believed me. And, it-it was amazing, you know, when she believed that I loved her she was so happy again – she didn't care about anything else – she was just happy to have me. Nobody had ever wanted me like that before...nobody ever just loved me and accepted me...and when she told me that she'd never tell Benny and endanger my life — that Benny deserved to be caught and punished — about how he'd been nothing for heartache for her parents since he was 15 years old and she wanted 'out,' she wanted better for her parents and herself — she chose me over her own brother – her own flesh and blood and...and..." Bobby voice grew even softer, "and it was the most beautiful night of my life, being loved like that."
"So, you got careless — and this is the price she makes you pay?"
Bobby shot an angry, 'how dare you?' glare at Alex.
"Saved by the bell," she said with a sigh of relief, as the doorbell chimed. "Lunch is here."
Bobby began to stand, reaching for his wallet. Alex already had her purse in hand, heading for door, "I've got it."
xxxxxx
She placed the packages down in the kitchen, calling to Bobby, "You wanna' eat at the table or in there?"
"I don't think I can eat, at all."
She ignored him, "We'll eat right on the couch." She served him his plate and a small bowl of the salad, then brought her own sandwich and placed it on the coffee table. When she reappeared from the kitchen, she was holding two glasses of wine. Bobby looked at her, eyebrows raised.
"What? A nice Italian meal deserves a glass of wine — it's not like we're going back to work — besides, it'll be good for you – calm your nerves."
While they ate, they took a break from Bobby's recount of the story. As he finished his last bite, wiping his mouth with his napkin, he laid back against the sofa and groaned, "I'm stuffed."
"And you didn't think you could eat... that'll be the day," Alex said, teasing him. "Hey, you have a pair of sweats here from the last time we went running together. Why don't you go get comfortable?"
"What are you gonna' do?" he asked, rising from the sofa and stretching. She smiled, holding up the two glasses, "I'm gonna' get us a refill."
xxxxxx
Alex sat in the living room, waiting for Bobby to return. He finally ambled in, looking tired. He was barefoot, in his Police-blue sweat pants and his undershirt.
"Hope you don't mind," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm too warm for the sweatshirt."
"Of course I don't mind. You comfy?"
He nodded affirmatively, "Uh-huh."
"Okay, so where were we? Oh, that's right...well, you can spare me those details."
Bobby continued. "It was about three weeks after that the raid went down. I could only speak with her briefly after it happened – to make sure she was okay and to see how her parents were taking it. I told her that it would be a good idea for us to play it cool for a while – ya' know, with the media all over their house — we decided it was best not to start any trouble or rumors, if anybody saw us together. She told me everything was gonna' be all right, that she loved me and that we'd be together soon — that I shouldn't feel bad because I was just doing my job and she was proud of me."
"Hold on," Alex instructed, "I just got an idea."
Bobby looked on, curiously, as Alex picked up the papers from the coffee table and dug into her purse, retrieving a small scrap of paper. She picked up the phone and began dialing.
"Who you calling now?"
Alex listened as the call began ringing, "Somebody that can help us get this investigation underway."
Bobby was perplexed.
"Darius, Hi, it's Alex. I'm good, how are you?"
Bobby watched, not having a clue what Alex as up to...or why she was calling Sanchez.
"Listen Dar, you think you can do me a little favor?
Bobby couldn't actually hear Sanchez' response, but from the way she was rolling her eyes and her facial expression, he could imagine that Sanchez was laying on his macho BS pretty thick.
"When you're down visiting your family, I was wondering if you can do a little reconnaissance for me. I need you to check out an address...nooo, nothing like that," she said with a giggle. "I just need ya' to drive by and see what you can see. I don't want ya' to make contact with anyone – don't let them see you watching — yeah, that sort of thing, if it's nice or run down, how many people are living there...men, women...kids," she said, with a glance at Bobby. "Then you can fill me in when you get back. Well, let's not make a dinner date just yet, handsome," she said, rolling her eyes again, but playing into his well-known ego. "That'll depend on how much information you bring back," she said with a phoney laugh.
Bobby sat back, always entertained by watching Alex in action. He knew she could 'play' on a perp, "But a fellow cop?" he thought to himself.
"Got a pen? Okay, here's the address: 1229 Calle Central, Dorado...yeah, that's what I figured...Dorado's just a little bit west of San Juan. Thanks, Dar – have a safe trip. Bye."
Alex hung up the phone, a self-satisfied grin on her face.
"I wouldn't encourage him," Bobby warned. "He likes you...he thinks you're a challenge."
"Don't worry...after he brings us back the information we need, I'll let him down gently."
"Yeah, I'll bet," Bobby scoffed, still looking a little confused.
"Sanchez," Alex said, waiving the scrap of paper, "He gave me his number when you went to the men's room Friday night. He's leaving for Puerto Rico tonight for a visit with his family. He won't be back for five days, but it might be a start."
"Thanks, Alex," Bobby softly said, and immediately stifled a yawn — a side effect of the stress he had been under all day and the second glass of wine.
"Why don't you go take a nap," Alex suggested.
His brows furrowed and he shook his head. "I've been enough trouble to you today – I should be going."
"You're not going anywhere, buster! I haven't heard everything yet. You're taking a nap and we'll finish this over dinner — or the rest of the night, if it takes that long."
Bobby knew better than to argue. A full explanation was the least he owed Alex. She was there, as always, to help him — and she was right: he felt better, even if only a little, after having talked about it. He headed for the bedroom without even asking. They had spent so many nights working late over the past five years that it was now automatic: Bobby got the bed and Alex took the couch – due, only, to their respective sizes and the comfort factor.
xxxxxxx
As Bobby slept, Alex, once again, perused the file, then went to the kitchen to see what she had in the freezer to make for dinner. As she stood in the kitchen, something–she didn't know what– compelled her to go to the bedroom, just to look in on Bobby. He had just lain down on top of the comforter, curled on his side. She could tell from his breathing that he was asleep, but still had a troubled look on his face. "He's probably having a bad dream," she thought to herself. She took a blanket from the closet and gently laid it over him, so as not to disturb him. He did sense it, though, and her heart warmed as she watched him snuggle down into its soft comfort as she tucked him in – as a child does as bedtime.
She stood over the bed and watched him for a moment longer, thinking to herself, "I hope it's true, Bobby...you could be such a good father."
END Chapter Four