Chapter 7
"Masters, we respectfully come to you, to ask your permission to bond."
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stood together, side by side, before the Council, ready to publicly acknowledge their bond.
"Finally decided you have?"
"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon answered.
Since their arrival, Obi-Wan had not said a word; he stood beside Qui-Gon, his posture stiff, staring forward. Beyond his initial bow to the Council upon their arrival, he had not acknowledged a single member of the gathered masters, instead looking out past them at a sky busy with ships and transports. He looked, Qui-Gon thought, thoroughly uncomfortable.
"What do you say, Knight Kenobi?"
The question directed specifically to him did break Obi-Wan's silence, however it did nothing to loosen his posture.
"My heart desires that I be bonded to Master Jinn," Obi-Wan answered coolly.
"Troubled your mind is." Yaddle spoke for the Council now. She had always been the voice of the Warrior's heart, and for that the Jedi's protector held her in high regard. "Willingly you do this, gladly, but still reluctant you seem."
Qui-Gon watched, almost feeling like an outside observer, as the Council all looked to Yaddle and then back to Obi-Wan, waiting. Obi-Wan seemed to sag, not under their scrutiny, but under Yaddle's.
"This feels right, Master Yaddle. Indeed both my heart and the Force sings with it."
"Hear it we do, Obi-Wan."
"But this," Obi-Wan gestured about him to the midday sun streaming through the windows and to standing at Qui-Gon's side. "This seems wrong."
"Find answers you will, time it will take."
Obi-Wan gave a little smile of acknowledgment.
"Have you told your apprentice, Qui-Gon?"
Qui-Gon thought of the earlier conversation he had had with his padawan and saw Obi-Wan almost wince beside him as he recalled the memory.
The two Jedi had risen early, together, but not early enough. They had left Qui-Gon's bedroom to find Anakin already up and preparing first meal for all three of them.
"Morning Master, Obi-Wan," he greeted them cheerfully.
'Almost too cheerfully, considering the hour.'
Qui-Gon chuckled at his lover's scowl. He remembered Obi-Wan's suspicion of anyone voluntarily getting up before tenth hour and people who seemed happy about it were undoubtedly Sith born. It seemed five years of hard life, fighting, running and killing had not changed his beloved's mind on the matter.
"Anakin," Qui-Gon greeted and Obi-Wan grumbled and headed straight for the brewing java. Anakin did not seem to take offence to Obi-Wan's unintelligible and less than friendly greeting; the boy was already used to the young knight's strange behaviour.
'Strange?'
'Especially in the mornings, my Obi-Wan.'
Qui-Gon was once again treated to an irritated humph, this time both through the bond and verbally.
"Padawan, we should talk now," he said to his new apprentice. Qui-Gon thought he heard a growl from Obi-Wan over the bond as he spoke to his apprentice.
'So soon?'
"Sure Master, but I have to be at my physics lecture in an hour."
"I do not think this will take that long, Anakin," he went to the dining table and pulled out a chair for Anakin. "Please, sit."
Qui-Gon waited for his second companion to join them at the table. When he did not, he turned to the younger man and said, "Obi-Wan?"
"Yes, Master?" he answered, his voice innocent in its naiveté.
Qui-Gon indicated one of the spare chairs. He did not order Obi-Wan to sit, but was fully prepared to if his bondmate continued to try and avoid the conversation. This time Qui-Gon knew he heard a growl, but Obi-Wan sat down nonetheless.
"Anakin, later today Obi-Wan and I intend to go before the Council and ask their permission to bond."
"A bit late for that, isn't it Master?"
Qui-Gon was sure that if Obi-Wan had been fully awake and in better control he would have been better at controlling his blush; as it was, the knight turned an interesting shade of red. The master was so distracted by the phenomenon he could think of nothing in answer to Anakin's question.
'You're already a bad influence on him, my love, you've already infected him with your sense of humour.'
The blush deepened as Obi-Wan, too, remembered that when Qui-Gon had told him they would go before the Council he had said much the same thing as the boy.
"Master?"
"Obi-Wan's and my bond was created by the Force, but still we need the Council to recognise the bond and stand witness to it. I, we, would have liked you to have been a witness Anakin, but you are too young. We hope you will attend the ceremony though."
"Of course, it'll be cool."
It had been as easy as that for Anakin to accept what Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had become to each other. Although Qui-Gon suspected that while he was only beginning to realise what he and his old apprentice had always been to each other, others had seen it from the beginning, including a young, gifted slave boy.
"Anakin knows and has given his blessing."
'In his way,' he added silently to his bondmate.
'Whose 'way' would you prefer?' was the immediate reply.
"The Council, too, give you blessings, conduct the ceremony we will, bear witness to your bond we shall."
"Thank you, Masters," the two Jedi said together. They bowed low in unison also and departed from the chamber.
"Worried I am," Yaddle said as they left, her gaze seeming to linger after them, though they had long moved out of sight.
"Why?" Mace asked her, a little puzzled.
"Still not realised, Obi-Wan has, how this bond will change the way he performs his duties."
"What will change?"
"Nothing, which is what he cannot comprehend."
The gardens were beautiful, they always were, but today they blossomed under the joy of the gathered, smiling, laughing Jedi who stood in attendance to witness the bonding of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi. The ceremony could have been held anywhere the pair wished, and if Obi-Wan was honest, he would have preferred somewhere quiet and secluded with only the minimal of people in attendance. This was not to be.
The young knight looked behind him to the gathered knights and masters and managed to not roll his eyes at their obvious delight. He and his master had gained reputations throughout the Temple and there had always been much speculation on the nature of their relationship.
'I suspect a few people are collecting on some bets today, my Obi-Wan.'
Obi-Wan returned his attention to the man who stood before him. He could not help but smile when he saw the joy that lay deep within sky blue eyes. He remembered, not so long ago, believing he would never be able to fall into them again, let alone stand before the Order and declare his love.
'I'm sorry, Qui-Gon, after so long away from them all, I'm finding their scrutiny a little difficult to adjust to.'
Qui-Gon did not say anything; he just looked at his young lover. Obi-Wan felt his regard, felt the steadiness of it and the unwavering belief in him that lay beyond it. It anchored him more to the moment that any words that Qui-Gon could have spoken.
"Listen and repeat the vows you must, if bonded you wish to be."
Gentle laughter washed over them from the witnesses. Qui-Gon did not hurry him though; Obi-Wan knew that his old master would wait all day and night if that was what he needed.
"I, Obi-Wan Kenobi, pledge myself to you. My life is yours, as is my heart. I join my soul to you in front of witnesses so that all may know that I am yours and you are mine."
Qui-Gon's pleasure grew with every word spoken by his love. He had lost this man to death five years ago and now here they stood. Life had retaken them and love had been allowed to flourish. For a moment the Jedi master allowed the song of the Force to wash over him and fill him. The sound was a constant companion to him now. Before he had known what it was, it had been a distraction; now that he knew what it was, the rejoicing of the Force at such pure love, its presence was wholly a comfort.
"I, Qui-Gon Jinn, pledge myself to you. My life is yours, as is my heart. I join my soul to you in front of witnesses so that all may know that I am yours and you are mine."
The ceremony was simple and brief, but the feelings behind it were anything but. As the two Jedi stood bathed in their love for each other, the gathered Jedi stepped forward to offer their congratulations.
'This reminds me of something,' Obi-Wan whispered though the bond.
'I'm not surprised, although the last time this happened you went on your first mission and ended up dead.'
There was silence at the other end of the bond.
'Obi-Wan?'
'I was just remembering. Hardly seems so long ago and yet I feel as if I have lived a lifetime.'
'Perhaps you have.'
There were a few curious questions about Obi-Wan's disappearance, however the life of a Jedi was a perilous one and few saw or felt any strangeness in the knight's return.
'Where's Anakin?'
'I think Bant took it upon herself to look after him so we could enjoy our bonding properly.'
'Think we should tell her we've already completed the bond?'
"Are you kidding?" Obi-Wan asked aloud, surprising Mace who was in the middle of giving them yet another lecture. "Besides I think she's enjoying being on the other side of playing confuse-a-padawan."
Obi-Wan gave a mischievous grin before asking.
'Do you think anyone would notice if we left now?'
'Yes,' Qui-Gon said smiling at another well-wisher. Obi-Wan pouted beside him. 'That doesn't mean I think we should stay.'
So saying, he pulled Obi-Wan to him in a bruising kiss. He broke off just as quickly as he had struck, leaving the younger man gasping. The master looked at the other Jedi gathered and said, "Excuse us."
He pulled his lover through the crowd, thinking that when Obi-Wan was his apprentice he would have been scandalised by Qui-Gon's behaviour, but now he seemed to be quite enjoying it. Qui-Gon felt a pang for the years lost and the time they would never have again.
"It pays to be a maverick," Obi-Wan said, drawing Qui-Gon back to the present. 'We have lost time, my love, but if we had not, do you believe you would have been ready to admit your love?'
'Possibly not.'
"Then be glad of the time we have, Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan gave his partner a cheeky grin. "What is it you're always telling me?"
"To live in the moment?"
"That's the one." And so saying, Obi-Wan kissed him and dragged him onward to their quarters and their large empty bed.
Obi-Wan once again found himself standing outside the Senate, lost in the Darkness that was so close. He was so close to finding its darkest shadow when the vision invaded his mind, causing him to stagger under its weight. Over the years he had grown accustomed to the sudden arrival of knowledge in his mind of places he must go to or people he must save or kill. This knowledge was not always visual, sometimes he just knew; others he acted upon instinct. This one, however, surrounded him as if reality. Perhaps it was because he was already immersed in his senses of the Warrior, or perhaps the Force was counselling particular urgency. Whatever the reason, the force of death pushed into his mind and saturated his senses. For a moment he lost his own mind and fell into the death Master Jorsa would suffer if he did not reach her in time.
It was pure instinct that pulled his mind from physical death to follow her life instead to where she was now. A tiny planet, Goren, but that was not the place of her murder.
Obi-Wan began striding towards the Temple, pulling out his communicator as he went.
"Windu."
"Mace, when is Jorsa due to leave Goren?"
"Six days."
"Find me a fast ship, I need to be there before she leaves."
He disconnected the line and sped up his pace. All signs of Knight Kenobi had fled the young man's face after the vision had abated; all that was left now was the shadows as Light and Dark flickered to the fore. With each step he took, Obi-Wan knew with more certainty his part, a path he had not dared to believe; he was the Shadow for all Jedi; nothing in the galaxy could alter that, not the Jedi, not the Council, not the Force and not love. He did not have to merge his roles, because there truly was only one, to protect the Jedi.
Dusk had settled by the time Obi-Wan reached the Temple and strode up to the waiting vessel.
"This is how it is going to be, isn't it?" he asked, stopping abruptly on the ship's ramp. He turned to the person he spoke to. Yaddle sat at the bottom of the ramp, looking up at him.
"What does your heart tell you, Shadow?"
"It grieves that I cannot even say goodbye to Qui-Gon."
"Does it?"
"No," Obi-Wan sighed, never able to lie to the one who was the voice of the Shadow's heart on the Council. "It grieves because although I could say goodbye to him through the bond, I will not."
"Why is that?" Yaddle asked, unrelenting in her quest for truth, knowing it was the final hurdle for the Jedi before her in accepting what, no, who, he was.
Great certainty fell upon Obi-Wan's mind then, certainty that both removed a weight from his mind, but added one to his heart.
"Because I protect the Jedi. The bond between us is one of love, love as we are, not as we appear to be. Qui-Gon is a hero and a great Jedi negotiator, within and without."
"And you are the Shadows and Death."
"Yes," Obi-Wan all but sobbed. He could not be a Jedi knight on the outside and a Shadow within, it was not who Qui-Gon loved, it was not what forged the bond.
"Life you also are, Obi-Wan. Serve the Light you do."
"Will you go and see him? Explain?" he asked, desperate to find some comfort for the fate of his relationship with Qui-Gon.
"Understand he already does, finally recognises his love for you he does, but go for you I will."
"Thank you," Obi-Wan said, offering a weak smile, before once again embracing the odd mix of Darkness and Light that was his Force sense as the Warrior.
"Live among the Jedi you can, Shadowed one. You no longer need the cloak of death, know it yet, they may not, but stand amongst us and be part of us you can. Learn this you must, if our protector you stay."
"I'll try."
"There is no try…" Yaddle began, but stopped when she saw, what Mace called 'That Smile' blossom on Obi-Wan's face. It was a smile of mischief, cunning and stubbornness. It was a sign to the elderly Jedi that her words had reached into him and that Obi-Wan was on the right path and with every passing moment understood his role better. It filled him, this knowledge, and before her she thought she saw in the man the growth of power beyond even Yoda's reckoning.
Only Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Shadow of the Jedi and the Protector of the Order, would dare answer back to the Council and smirk at one of Yoda's most prized sayings.
"May the Force be with you, Master Shadow."
He said nothing else, did not even show surprise at the title she used, but turned back to the ship, and with added purpose, left Coruscant.
Yaddle made her way back from the landing platforms, and at the entry to the Temple she found Qui-Gon.
"I felt it," he explained.
"His vision?" she asked, surprised.
"No, the moment he cut me off. I have no sense of him at all. I remembered it from Naboo; I knew what it meant so I came to see him leave."
"Do this every time you cannot," she told him with a faint scowl.
"I am aware of that," he angrily retorted, but his words softened as he continued. "But this time I allowed myself the luxury."
The two masters started to walk back along the Temple corridor, neither with a destination in mind, but both wishing to be surrounded by the comfort of the Force and the other Jedi.
"Fine he will be."
"Of that I have no doubt."
They continued on, deeper into the Temple, silent.
"Understand you do, what Obi-Wan is?"
"I confess that I did not, not until I saw him fight the Sith on Naboo. His whole being was in tune with the Force, all aspects of it as he was completely emerged in the dance of battle; it was an amazing thing to behold."
"Like to see that I would."
"You mean you have not?" Qui-Gon stopped, surprised by Yaddle's confession.
Yaddle patted his shins and led him to one of the many alcoves that littered the Temple's halls. They sat together and the last of the evening sun filtered in through the high windows, bathing them in a warm glow.
"No living Force sensitive has; hide himself from the Jedi he saves, Obi-Wan does. The only ones to see it are those he fights and dead they are. Or incapable of understanding what it was they fought against. He revealed himself to you, Qui-Gon, a gift that is."
"I know, one I cherish for its meaning."
"Good for him, you are," Yaddle nodded approvingly.
"I thought I was a dangerous maverick," Qui-Gon said with some humour.
"A maverick, maybe, dangerous never. Because of your techniques and methods, Master Jinn, have a Jedi Warrior we do who can fight and stand alone. He, like his master, is unconventional. Makes him a good Force Warrior it does."
"How long did they live?"
"Who?" Yaddle asked, momentarily confused.
"The other Warriors, the ones who came before."
"In tune with war they all have been, apt at fighting and skilled with a lightsabre," Yaddle explained, telling Qui-Gon some of what she had learnt upon discovering that their was a Force Warrior amongst them. "But despite this they were all beaten, for they were not invulnerable. Died they all did, fighting for the Jedi."
"You did not answer my question."
"No, and answer it I shall not. Compare their fates to Obi-Wan you should not. Strong he is and live in different time he does."
"Yes, a time when the Sith have risen again." Qui-Gon sounded bitter even to his own ears.
"Yes, returned the Sith are, but coincidence do you think it is that as the same time the first Warrior for generations walks among the Jedi? And a Warrior such as he?"
"Such as he?" Qui-Gon did not understand Yaddle's cryptic words.
"Other Warrior protectors the Jedi have had, Warrior Sith there have been also, but within none of the legends we have found tells of one such as your Obi-Wan. With Light he fights, but within Darkness also. A true Shadow he is."
With that, Yaddle left Qui-Gon alone with his thoughts of fate, destiny and memories of being followed by nothing more than a fleeting shadow within the Force.