Disclaimer - I own no rights whatsoever to the Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
A/N – This is a departure from my usual line of fanfictions. Usually I try to write more serious fiction. But Disney Channel is a guilty pleasure of mine, and I thought it would be fun to, instead of providing more "grown up" literature, write something for the kiddies, and for young grown-ups like me.
I played with the idea of writing a Suite Life mystery story for a week or so before I came up with this. I finally got the idea for this fanfic after watching the episode "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Hotel", for the third time. I liked the 1930's feel. And I noticed what a great job Phil Lewis (a. k. a. Mr. Moseby) did of channeling Raymond Chandler's Phil Marlowe.
I also got a little bit of inspiration from another fictional Phil, "The Singing Detective", deciding to portray Mr. Moseby as a bedridden author. I've begun to hammer this out being a bedridden author myself, recovering from a recent surgery.
This also marks my first fanfic written in script form.
Expect weekly installments. Now, with no further ado…
"Murder, My Suite"
THE MOSEBY APARTMENT
Zack and Cody walk in, the sound of groaning following behind them. Mr. Moseby enters with Carey assisting him. His head is wrapped in bandages and his leg is in a cast. He's hobbling on a crutch.
Carey finally helps Mr. Moseby settle onto a couch behind his popsicle-stick replica of the Tipton.
Carey: Mr. Moseby, the boys are so sorry about what happened.
Cody: Yeah, Mr. Moseby. Zack is very sorry.
Zack: Don't look at me. I thought people only tripped on banana peels in cartoons.
Mr. Moseby: Yes. Well, in the cartoons, I don't believe the banana peel is usually draped over a skateboard.
Zack: Tiny technicality. Sheesh!
Zack turns his back and heads for the door while Mr. Moseby clenches his hands as if he is wringing the boy's neck. Carey follows Zack as he leaves.
Cody: I brought something for you.
Mr. Moseby: A bottle of aspirin, perhaps? Or is it a banana?
Cody: Wrong on both counts. It's something way cooler.
He pours the contents of a bag onto the table, knocking the popsicle-stick model to pieces as he does so. Tears form in Mr. Moseby's eyes. Finally, Cody lifts up the objects that were in the bag.
Cody: Pencil and paper.
Mr. Moseby: Excellent. Now I can write out my last will and testimony.
Cody: No. Now you can write out a story.
Mr. Moseby: Thank you, young man. But I'm a manager, not a versifier.
Cody thinks for a moment.
Cody: Oh! I know what that means!
Mr. Moseby: Good. Because I'm not sure I do.
He lays back and closes his eyes. Cody turns around and faces the "camera."
Cody: It gives you something to do since you can't move around. Once I had pneumonia for a week, and I wrote a story about traveling to the mystic world of Mid-EverBored, where I became a powerful wizard. With the help of the beautiful princess, I managed to capture the sacred sword of Geexcalibur.
He reaches behind him and lifts Mr. Moseby's crutch like a sword.
Cody: I then invoked the sacred texts of J. R. J. Verne-Wells, transforming myself into a mighty warrior and defeating the evil Gobolums!
He swings the crutch dramatically, shattering a lamp and then falling backwards into Mr. Moseby's leg. Mr. Moseby cries in pain.
Carey: Cody!
Cody: Gotta go!
Now Mr. Moseby wrings his hands as Cody leaves.
OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT
Cody: I wish there was something more we could do to help Mr. Moseby.
Carey: Mr. Moseby's a tough man. He can take care of himself.
Zack: Yeah right! Mr. Moseby's the least tough guy I know.
DARK ALLEYWAY
Two mobsters carrying guns run and stop in front of a dead end.
Mobster #1: Do you think he's still following us?
Mobster #2: No, I think we lost him.
Mobster #1: Good. I wouldn't want to meet that guy in a dark…
He looks around him and cries for his mommy.
Mobster #2: I know what you mean. He looked pretty tough.
A dark figure steps out of the shadows. Mobster #1 jumps into Mobster #2's arms. Mobster #2 drops Mobster #1 and a cloud of dust rises.
Mobster #2: Who are you?
The cloud of dust clears. Mr. Moseby is standing there in a trench coat and fedora.
Mr. Moseby: I'm your worst nightmare.
A/N – And here's where we'd go to theme song and credits. Check back here in a week or sooner.
And for those of you who are reading my Sherlock Holmes/Batman crossover, expect an update soon.