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Thomas Thurman – Thanks for reviewing the story. I'm looking forward to your Zack and Cody mystery, and I hope you continue to enjoy mine.
MOSEBY'S OFFICE
The lettering on the glass panel of a wooden door reads "MOSBEY, P. I."
Mr. Moseby sits at a desk, dangling a toothpick between his lips.
Mr. Moseby (narrating): It was a hot afternoon on a hot day in a hot city, and I was drinking hot chocolate. That's when she showed up.
A woman's silhouette appears in the glass frame. There's a dog beside her. The dog turns into a rabbit, into a squirrel, then into a bird. Finally, Mr. Moseby opens the door and finds London, dressed in flapper clothing, making shadow puppets. Embarrassed, London hides her hands behind her back.
Mr. Moseby (narrating): It was one of those high society dames. I could tell just by looking at her that she was going to be trouble.
London: I'm in trouble.
Mr. Moseby: I could tell. Have a seat Ms...
London: Tipton. London Tipton. But you can just call me, Ms. Tipton.
Mr. Moseby: That's real nice of you, lady. Now take a seat.
London picks up a chair.
Mr. Moseby: I meant sit down, Ms. Tipton.
London: Oh. Why didn't you just say so?
London and Mr. Moseby take seats on either side of Moseby's desk. Mr. Moseby puts his feet up on his desk. London plugs her nose with her fingers.
Mr. Moseby: What can a simple guy like me do for a doll like you?
London (really nasally): It's about my dog, Ivanna. She's been dognapped.
Mr. Moseby: What?
London: Dognapped.
Mr. Moseby: Come again?
London unplugs her nose.
London: Dognapped!
She takes a paper fan and uses it to fan Mr. Moseby's feet. He takes a hint and drops his feet to the ground.
Mr. Moseby: Got any leads?
London: Of course I do. I have this really cute one studded with rhinestones! But here in America we call them leashes.
Mr. Moseby: I meant do you got any clues?
London: Oh, no! I'm not the detective. That's your job, Buster.
Mr. Moseby: Moseby.
London: Whatever.
THE MOSEBY APARTMENT
Mr. Moseby is grinning wildly and writing furiously. Esteban enters carrying a grocery bag.
Esteban: Oh, Mr. Moseby, sir. You look much better already.
Mr. Moseby: Thank you, Estaban. Did you bring what I asked you for?
Esteban: Of course, sir. Two gallons of milk. One gallon of orange juice. A box of oatmeal. And a new bottle of perfume.
Mr. Moseby: I didn't ask you for a bottle of perfume.
Esteban lifts a bra from the grocery bag and then drops it back.
Esteban: And you probably didn't ask for that either. I must have grabbed the wrong bag.
He looks at Mr. Moseby's papers.
Esteban: If I may ask, sir, what are you working on?
Mr. Moseby: Nothing really, just a pain reliever one of the twins suggested.
Esteban: Ahh, yes. A pain reliever. Where I come from…
Mr. Moseby: Does it involve goats?
Esteban: No, sir.
Mr. Moseby: Cows?
Esteban: No, sir.
Mr. Moseby: Any type of animal?
Esteban: Of course, sir. How did you know?
Mr. Moseby: Then I'm not interested.
Esteban: Very well. I will just return to the store and get you the appropriate items.
Mr. Moseby: Thank you, Esteban
Esteban exits. Mr. Moseby returns to his writing.
LONDON'S SUITE
London: This is where I saw Ivanna last. She was sitting right there, sipping from her bowl of Sierra Falls mineral water, poured directly from the bottle.
Mr. Moseby: You know, toots, you are one dizzy dame.
London: Oh, gosh! Thanks!
Mr. Moseby: Were you the last one in this room?
London: Oh, no. Right before I left I saw two men in really funny suits that said they worked for room service.
Mr. Moseby: Do you remember how they looked?
London: Duh! I just told you. They were wearing funny suits.
Mr. Moseby: What about their faces?
London: I don't know. They weren't as funny as their suits.
Mr. Moseby slaps his forehead. There's the sound of a gunshot. Mr. Moseby and London run out of the suite to investigate.
THE TIPTON HOTEL LOBBY
A man is lying across the floor. Mr. Moseby bends over and checks for a pulse.
Mr. Moseby: He's dead. It was murder.
London: It's so tragical.
Mr. Moseby: Don't get yourself worked up, lady. Sooner or later we're all going to sleep the big sleep. Check out one final time. Go up to that big hotel in the sky.
London: Not that. I just meant he's going to get blood all over the carpet!
A/N – And here's a commercial break. A several days long commercial break. But don't worry; there's more where this came from!