Chapter 11
Obi-Wan was bored. He had forgotten how tedious these types of missions could be. Qui-Gon had introduced him to the hosts of the last celebratory banquet for the royal wedding and he had offered his own congratulations to the very happy couple. Now, he stood at the rear of the great hall, watching the other guests dancing and drinking. He could not entirely shake free of his need to be concealed in shadows, but it was not this that caused his boredom. No, it was the tiresome, political, bureaucratic conversations that filtered over to him. Since his knighting, Obi-Wan had found himself becoming increasingly disillusioned with parts of the Republic, especially the Senate. A number of times one politician or another had tried to draw him into a debate.
He steadfastly refused.
Instead he tried to focus on the dancers and found himself beginning to daydream.
"Would you like to dance?"
"It's funny you should ask that, Qui-Gon, I was just thinking that."
"I know, I could see it also." Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan's hand. "Would you dance with me, beloved?"
"Yes."
Qui-Gon led his partner to the dance floor and gracefully swept them through the already dancing couples. Not long after they had joined the foray, the tempo of the music slowed and the dance became a more intimate melody; soft and beautiful.
The dancers slowed and moved closer. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan in their midst, fell in sync with the new dance, gladly absorbed in each other, enjoying the dance together, their first since becoming bonded.
"You're very good at this, Qui-Gon."
"Years of experience."
"I'm sure," Obi-Wan teased. "Years of sweeping kings and queens off their feet."
"As I remember it, Obi-Wan you seemed to find equal pleasure in cavorting with the servants in the stables."
Obi-Wan let out a surprised and happy laugh that carried a little over the guests, who smiled to see their Jedi guests so plainly enjoying themselves.
"It was only the once," Obi-Wan defended the happy memory, remembering Qui-Gon's amused face and the king's scandalised one when they had discovered Obi-Wan and the stable hand in the morning when they were preparing for their morning ride. "Will you ever let me live that down?"
Qui-Gon appeared to give this some serious consideration.
"No," he said at last. "I don't think so."
Obi-Wan continued to smile, despite knowing that his master would never let him forget some of the more embarrassing times of his apprenticeship. The moment was perfect, they were in love and for a short time would be together, what could be better?
"Obi-Wan, it's time for bed," Qui-Gon called to his lover from the very large double bed that dominated their guest room.
"I'll be right out."
"Padawan, get out of that shower this instant." Qui-Gon used his lover's old title, suddenly feeling like his master again, remembering the times that the boy seemed to spend what seemed like forever in the fresher.
"Ten more minutes."
"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, using the same warning tone he now used on Anakin.
"Fine," was the sulky compliance and soon after Qui-Gon heard the water shut off.
'My little hedonist.'
'Bite me.'
Qui-Gon rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his arms as he watched his lover come out of the fresher.
"Maybe later."
"Maybe now," Obi-Wan demanded, still pretending to pout over his abruptly ended shower. "You did drag me from my nice warm shower."
"So I did. Well then," Qui-Gon said, smiling gently, "You'd better come here."
Obi-Wan climbed onto the double bed on which his lover reclined, determined to have his own way now that he had been drawn from the fresher.
Early the next morning, the three Jedi said their farewells to their hosts and left the peaceful planet.
"This your ship, Obi-Wan?"
"Yes, Anakin."
Obi-Wan studied the padawan as he in turn studied his ship. The apprentice did not look very impressed.
"It may not look like much, but I promise you, its engines have some phenomenal upgrades."
Anakin continued to look at the ship, now a little sceptical.
"Well, if you feel that way about it, I guess you won't want a turn at the helm."
The knight watched closely, masking his amusement, as the padawan's face morphed through several emotions in rapid succession. Dismay replaced the sceptical, faintly disgusted look which then quickly dissolved into what Obi-Wan had dubbed the 'puppy-dog look'.
"Please, Obi-Wan," the young Jedi begged, drawing out the 'e' in please in his desperation to convince his friend to fly his ship. "It looks wizard. Honest."
Obi-Wan smirked.
"Well, I don't know."
"Please."
'Obi-Wan,' Qui-Gon interrupted his padawan's begging.
'Yes, Qui-Gon?'
'Please resist the urge to play with my padawan's mind,' Qui-Gon asked his bondmate, a little dismayed to discover that no one was safe from Obi-Wan's odd sense of humour or his new, favourite hobby.
"Okay, Anakin, for a short while."
"Yippee!"
'You always ruin my fun,' Obi-Wan accused as he watched the now happy apprentice enter the vessel.
'That's what masters are for.'
Qui-Gon was sure he was going to regret saying that as he saw the look of glee on his bondmate's face.
"I'm going to remember that for next time 'the little troll', oh I'm sorry, I meant Master Yoda, does something you don't like."
Qui-Gon tried not to groan, but unfortunately he did not manage to prevent the mental echo from reaching Obi-Wan. He faintly regretted teasing Obi-Wan about the stable boy when he saw Obi-Wan's glee turn into a smug smile.
'I win.'
'For now,' Qui-Gon threatened darkly.
'Oh, I'm scared.'
'You should be.'
Laughter drifted through the bond and through the air as Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon standing on the landing ramp, wondering why he was fated to raise such head strong, irritating, cheeky, impertinent,
'Don't forget impudent,'
Impudent apprentices with bizarre senses of humour.
'Just lucky I guess.'
As Qui-Gon followed the other two Jedi onto the ship he could not help but agree with Obi-Wan.
'Yes, beloved, I am indeed lucky.'
Love saturated the bond, flowing freely from both its ends, consuming, for the time being, all fears and worries that yet lingered in their minds.
The journey was brief and uneventful. When they reached Coruscant, the master and apprentice went immediately before the Council while Obi-Wan saw to his ship. Qui-Gon waited patiently with his padawan in the Council's anteroom, considering the words his bondmate had said to him before they had landed.
"Have you made your decision?"
Qui-Gon turned from the view screen, which was now dominated by the city planet, to look at his companion. His face showed his obvious confusion.
"About the Council; I know that they are forcing you to decide," Obi-Wan clarified.
Qui-Gon let out a long, weary sigh. He had not wanted this decision; he did not like the options whichever way he chose.
"Qui-Gon?"
"I cannot decide, Obi-Wan," the master confessed. "Every time I think I've settled on a choice, I think of a better reason for the other."
"If that is the case, if there is no way to decide through reason, then why not do as you feel is right?"
"Do what I want, you mean?"
Obi-Wan shrugged. He was not a Jedi bound by the Order's normal principles. He did his duty, as any Jedi should, but beyond that he was free in the galaxy. He had returned to the Temple, come back from the dead and bonded to his old master; these things had all been his dreams, apart from his duty as a Jedi.
"Why not? You serve the Republic, is it not best to do it in a way that best suits you?"
"I'm not you, Obi-Wan."
"Never said you were, and what works for me may not work for you, but for once, Qui-Gon, can you not try and see life my way?"
The doors to the Council chamber opened and Qui-Gon was pulled from his memories to discover that the time to decide had come. He did not know why the choice had become such a great one, but something in the Force was telling him not to take the situation too lightly.
With resignation, he beckoned his padawan to him and together they entered the Council chamber.
Master Yoda watched his grand-padawan and his apprentice leave the chamber, searching though the currents within the Force as to the consequences of Qui-Gon's decision.
"You have something to report?" Yoda heard Mace ask. He looked up to see the emerging figure who stepped from the concealing shadows into full view of the Jedi Council.
"Only to say I have returned."
"No problems you have had?"
Obi-Wan looked at the ancient Jedi; both studied the other intently, searching for something neither could explain. The Shadow instinctively found himself drawing inward, suspicious; something was not right, not a lie, but a concealment of some kind.
"Nothing the Council needs concern themselves with."
The Council watched as the Order's most respected master and its most formidable weapon stared each other down.
"But?"
Obi-Wan did not back down, he had no desire to discuss his failing senses with the Council; instead he returned to another concern that still remained.
"Danger lingers still at the back of my mind."
"For Qui-Gon?"
"Yes."
"Always in motion the future is." Yoda did not finish the thought, knowing that it was unnecessary; the Shadow knew that better than anyone and the Jedi master knew his words offered little comfort. Yoda continued to study the young Jedi, but this time he looked upon the Shadow, not as a Councillor to the Order, but as a fellow Jedi. He clearly saw the burden that rested upon the young shoulders and in his mind Yoda had seen the tension within Qui-Gon as he had told the Council his decision.
"Here you will be staying?" Yoda now asked kindly.
"For now," which was the only commitment the Warrior could give to anyone for anything.
Yoda suddenly felt his eight hundred years. Darkness was spreading, the Light side of the Force seem to be diminishing, although only those finely attuned to it could feel it. Balance was shifting, away from the Light, and the Shadow stood before the Council suspicious of their secrecy. Something had to be done.
"Fluctuations in the Force there has been," Yoda told Obi-Wan, aware of the surprised looks on the other Council members' faces; they had decided to keep the information to themselves for the moment. "The Dark side grows strong."
"And the Jedi's strength is failing," Obi-Wan said.
For a brief moment fear was shown on all the Council's faces.
"You have felt this fluctuation?"
Obi-Wan did not answer Mundi. He bowed to the Council and turned to leave.
"Obi-Wan," Mace called him back, like Yoda, desperate to try and breach the gap that seemed to be widening between them and the Warrior.
Obi-Wan did not turn to him, but spoke over his shoulder.
"Qui-Gon made the right decision," he told them. "You need him out there."
"We need you out there too, Knight Kenobi," Mundi once again spoke.
"And that is where I will be."
Obi-Wan drifted back into shadows and was once more lost to the Council. Yoda watched him go unhappily. The Order was losing their most needed weapon, all because the Council did not trust him. He glanced at Yaddle, who was also thoughtfully looking at the place where the Warrior had disappeared. The bondmates had accepted and understood what their duties meant, but now they were struggling to find a way to live with it. Yoda decided he would speak to Qui-Gon and knew that Yaddle would seek out Obi-Wan or at least would wait for him to come to her; the Shadow was not found, the Council must remember, he went were he would, not where they ordered.
"Master Yoda?" Qui-Gon opened his door to find the ancient master waiting patiently in the hall. "Come in."
Yoda shuffled over the threshold into the apartment. Qui-Gon's home had always been a welcoming place. Only twice had the air become cold and stale as Qui-Gon had tried to run from his hurt. Yoda remembered both those times, when Xanatos had turned to the Dark and when Obi-Wan had died, and saw that despite Qui-Gon's obvious weariness and Obi-Wan's tension, their home was still warm and inviting and for that Yoda was hopeful.
"Returned yet Obi-Wan has?" Yoda asked as he made his way to what he thought of as 'his' chair.
"No," Qui-Gon followed his guest and sat on the sofa opposite his grand-master, waiting for Yoda to say what he had come to say.
"Concerned I am."
"Master Yoda," Qui-Gon interrupted, wanting to prevent Yoda from once again repeating the fears of the Council.
"Interrupt you should not, come to fight I have not, came to listen I did." Yoda's voice began sharp with his initial reprimand, but lost its sharp edge as he continued. "Concerned I am for you, Qui-Gon, and your bondmate."
"We're fine."
"Fine you may be now, fine you will not be."
"We are trying."
"There is no try," Yoda huffed out, irritated.
Qui-Gon held on to his irritated sigh, knowing it would upset the old master still further. He had managed to get Yoda to raise his voice in impatience twice in less than a minute.
"Accepted you both have your roles, but pulling you apart it is."
"I know, I worry for Obi-Wan; he feels so torn."
"Know you the reason you do for this?"
Qui-Gon did not want to admit that he and his lover had not discussed the root of their problems properly, nor did he wish to lie to the powerful master. So he remained silent, hoping that Yoda would respect his wish not to comment.
"Hmmm, difficult you knew it would be," Yoda went on, hearing more in Qui-Gon's silence that the other Jedi had wanted to admit. "Find a balance you both must, or lose you both the Jedi may, lose each other you will."
Within the Blossom Garden, beneath a tree that's life had fled it, another diminutive, ancient Jedi master spoke to another stubborn bondmate.
"Hide from the Council you do."
"They… You lie to me." Obi-Wan was not in the mood for Yaddle's interference. Through the years her counsel had been a source of great comfort to the young Jedi Warrior, but since he had bonded to his master, Obi-Wan found the Council's constant interference, however well meaning, was beginning to wear on his patience.
"Hide from your bondmate you do also."
"It's none of your business," Obi-Wan flung out, for once allowing his anger to colour his words with scorn.
"Your enemy I am not, nor is the Council."
Obi-Wan looked at Yaddle, saw her earnest, honest eyes, her slumped shoulders, and admitted defeat. He could not avoid this conversation, even if it was what he desired more that anything else.
"I feel torn," he said, gazing at the corpse of the tree that had been bonded to him in his youth.
"As bondmate and Shadow?" Yaddle asked, walking to stand at Obi-Wan's side, joining him in his study of the dead tree.
"No, only as the Shadow."
"Understand I do not," Yaddle admitted.
"Danger lingers on for Qui-Gon still, I can feel it constantly, but I can find no source. I feel I should be protecting him and then I get a vision of another and then…"
"Feel torn you do," Yaddle finished for her companion, finally understanding the dilemma that lay in the heart of the Jedi protector. "Told Qui-Gon of this you have?"
"In a manner of speaking."
"Obi-Wan!"
"I've told him I feel danger to him still, but he doesn't know, or at least I haven't told him how divided I feel." Obi-Wan inwardly cringed as he voiced his cowardice. These were not the actions of a great Warrior, or a faithful bondmate.
"Tell him you must."
"I know," he said. And the Shadow did, he had known that from the beginning.
"And tell the Council you should what you are hiding."
"I don't trust the Council."
If Yaddle had hoped to catch Obi-Wan at a vulnerable moment her plan had failed. Despite his problems and fears concerning his relationship with Qui-Gon and his duties as Warrior, the bitter taste of distrust and lies between the Council and himself was not forgotten.
"Trust you we do," Yaddle told him as she turned to leave. She was almost out of earshot when finally she heard words of hope that reconciliation was possible,
"I'll think about it," was all Obi-Wan said. But it was enough.
A cycle passed and once more the bondmates found themselves separated, although this time it was Qui-Gon who was leaving. Obi-Wan watched Qui-Gon and Anakin's transport until it disappeared into the atmosphere. He could still feel his lover in his mind, not closing the link because he was still Knight Kenobi, not yet the Shadow.
Obi-Wan did not go with them, choosing instead to spend some time at the Temple, allowing himself time to become reacquainted with being around other Jedi. Qui-Gon's and Anakin's mission was again not a hard one and their destination was only a day's travel out from Coruscant. Although the distance was too great to be able to talk to Qui-Gon, the bondmates could still sense each other.
Obi-Wan spent a day of quiet relaxation, spending time with Bant and Siri, walking in the gardens and finally seeing Garen and Reef for the first time in five years. It was as he returned to his shared quarters that for the second time in his life he was gifted with a vision that stopped his heart cold.
Danger.
It rang in his hears. The call was not yet a shout, but it was an insistent echo that told of death if he did not act quickly. It was not this that spurred Obi-Wan into action, it was not the ferocity by which the vision took him, but rather the sight of a terrified Anakin Skywalker watching as his master was murdered before him.
Danger.
The Force had barely repeated its summons when Obi-Wan was already on a ship, powering up the light drive, desperate to reach his lover as soon as he was able. In his haste he told no one of his departure and it was not until morning that the Council discovered the absence of Knight Kenobi.
The Shadow answered no attempts to contact him, so all the Council could do was wait on Coruscant and wonder what had been so dire that the Warrior had left so abruptly, with no message left to them at least informing them where he was going or who he was going after.
Privately, Mace thought on his missing friend, but it was not the Shadow he feared for. He stood beneath the bowers of a dead blossom and feared for his old friend, Qui-Gon Jinn.