Disclaimer - I own no rights to the titles, characters, and trademarks herein.
Thomas Thurman – Glad you're still along for the ride, and I hope this next chapter doesn't scare you away.
CRIMSON HAZE – Thank you for your review. I'm used to writing mystery stories sprinkled with humor rather than humorous stories sprinkled with mystery, although I have written comical scripts for skits for my high school drama class and my church group. And I'm recovering quite well from the surgery, thank you.
Princess Cornelia – I'm glad I got your attention. I hope you enjoy the chapters that are still to come.
THE TIPTON HOTEL
The victim rises to his feet.
Dead Man: Can I go now?
London: No. You're dead.
Dead Man: I thought nobody could die in this. It's a kid's show.
Mr. Moseby: Can't you just lie down for a few more minutes?
Dead Man: But I'm perfectly all right.
Mr. Moseby: It doesn't matter. This is a dream sequence.
Dead Man: Okay. But you'd better make this fast.
The dead man stiffens up like a board and falls to the ground. Mr. Moseby and London cringe as he hits the ground with a thud.
THE MOSEBY APARTMENT
As we warp back to reality, Mr. Moseby has fallen asleep on his couch.
Esteban enters once again.
Esteban: Mr. Moseby, I've returned. I have brought you the correct items this time.
When he notices Mr. Moseby sleeping on the couch, he tiptoes to the table so as not to wake him. Esteban puts his grocery bag down next to Mr. Moseby's story.
Esteban: Ahh, Mr. Moseby's pain-relieving story. Perhaps, I should peek. Then again, perhaps it is none of my business.
A miniaturized version of Zack, dressed in a devil costume, appears on Esteban's left shoulder.
Zack: Go ahead and peek. It's your right as a Tipton employee.
A miniaturized Cody, dressed, of course, in angelic garb, appears on Esteban's right shoulder.
Cody: Your job at the Tipton has nothing to do with Mr. Moseby's privacy.
Zack: It's not privacy. It's just a stupid story.
Cody: But it's not professional. Mr. Moseby wouldn't want anybody to read it but him.
Esteban: You have a point, little blonde person. I mean, really little blonde person.
Zack: But by looking at the story you could actually be helping Mr. Moseby. He could probably use a hand finishing it.
Cody: Actually, that's pretty sound logic. Can't argue with that.
Zack and Cody disappear and Esteban turns to the story.
Esteban: Moseby the detective had to go talk to someone important. He had to go see the rich, stylish, very successful, and extremely handsome business mogul.
THE CLUB ESTEBAN/ESTEBAN'S OFFICE
Esteban sits behind a desk dressed in an expensive business suit. He has a sleazy mustache drawn on his face and his hair is dripping with grease. A flash of light glints off of his teeth.
Esteban (narrating): Me!
OUTSIDE OF ESTEBAN'S OFFICE
Zack and Cody are dressed in mobster costumes and hold super soakers and stand guard at the door. Mr. Moseby reaches for the office door handle, but Zack puts out a hand and holds him back.
Zack: Nobody gets in to see the boss without an appointment!
Mr. Moseby: If your boss doesn't see me, the only appointment he's going to make is with the judge!
Zack: But you're not a cop anymore!
Mr. Moseby: Tell me, sonny, do you think that makes me less dangerous, or more dangerous?
Cody pulls out his calculator.
Cody: Let's see. Tell me, about how dangerous were you in the first place?
Mr. Moseby just pushes past Zack into the office.
ESTEBAN'S OFFICE
Cody: We tried to stop this goon, boss, but he wouldn't have it.
Esteban: Ahh. Mr. Moseby. What can I do for you, sir?
Mr. Moseby: I want to have a little chit-chat about one of your men. Name of Ceased. Delbert Ceased. Went by "D." He was found dead at the Tipton Hotel last night.
Esteban: How do you know he was one of my men?
Mr. Moseby: He was wearing a Club Esteban uniform.
Esteban: That could mean anything.
Zack: Boss, do you want we should whack him for you?
Cody: Whack him? With what? A wet noodle?
Zack: No, Cody. I meant we should bump him off.
Cody: Bump him off of what?
Zack: No! I mean we should waste him.
Cody scratches his head.
Zack: Get rid of him?
Cody: Hey! I don't watch as many violent movies as you do.
Esteban: Cool it, boys. Nobody's icing no one.
Cody: Now icing? What's icing?
Zack hits his brother over the head.
Cody: Oww!
Esteban: This is a perfectly legitimate business I'm trying to run here.
Mr. Moseby: Says you. I say it's a speakeasy and an illegal casino.
Esteban: It is no such thing!
Muriel walks by.
Muriel: I'm blowing this joint. I'm out 3 G's.
Esteban: That means nothing. We have a very expensive all-you-can-eat buffet.
Mr. Moseby: Give me the information I need and I'm outta here.
Esteban: I can not help you, sir. I know nothing about the murder at the Tipton. Or of Ms. Tipton's stolen dog.
Mr. Moseby: Who said anything about a stolen dog?
Zack: We don't know nothing about no stolen dog. Do we, Cody?
Cody: Yeah. I think we do.
Zack hits Cody again.
Esteban: All right, Moseby. I will help you if you will help me. Bring me back my Falcon, and I will tell you all I know about the Tipton dame's missing dog.
Mr. Moseby: Another pet?
Esteban: No. Just a very stylish paper weight.
Mr. Moseby: Made out of solid gold and encrusted with valuable diamonds, I'll bet.
Esteban: No, sir. It's just a hunk of black lead in the shape of a bird. But it has sentimental value. My grandpapa gave him to me.
THE MOSEBY APARTMENT
Mr. Moseby slowly wakes up. He looks at Esteban and screams. Esteban screams and scrambles out the door.
Mr. Moseby shifts in his seat and squeals in pain. He looks back at his story and shakes his head.
THE TIPTON HOTEL LOUNGE
Mr. Moseby (narrating): It was going to be a rough evening. I had to talk with the dead man's girlfriend. She was a chanteuse.
Carey struts out on stage in a glamorous sequined dress and performs "Mr. Big Spender." She sashays off stage.
CAREY'S DRESSING ROOM
Mr. Moseby is waiting for her as she enters.
Carey: What are you doing in my dressing room?
Mr. Moseby: I've got no time for small talk, toots. Tell me what you know about D. Ceased.
Carey: The guy that was bumped off in the lobby yesterday?
Mr. Moseby: Yeah. I heard you and him went out a couple o' times.
Carey: Yeah. He was a regular sleazebag. What's it to you?
Mr. Moseby: So, did he have any enemies?
Carey: 'Course he did. Nobody liked him but me, the dirty rotten bum.
Mr. Moseby hands her his card.
Mr. Moseby: If you think of anything, give me a call.
He exits.
A/N – We're going to take another break now, but expect another update soon.