1
Finding My Son, Finding Myself
Chapter Nine
His heart was pounding. Could this, at long last, be it? The moment he'd been waiting for, the moment his heart had been yearning for, for the past twelve years. The angle of the opening door caused the morning sun to reflect off the panes of glass, making it difficult to see the figure exiting the house. As the door swung closed and the figure stepped onto the porch, Bobby saw Carlos Vasquez.
Carlos stood at the top step, getting a better look at the car he noticed parked at the end of his driveway. "It's the same damn car, back again," he cursed to himself. "I'm gonna' get to the bottom of this and see what this guy wants." He heard the car door open and froze half-way down the steps. He recognized the tall figure standing next to the car; more mature – older, certainly more gray, but there was no mistaking him – Bobby hadn't changed that much over the years. His heart leapt with happiness for his daughter and grandson, but, too, a feeling of caution – of wanting to protect them, kept his emotions in check.
Bobby walked around the nose of the car, towards the front path. Carlos quickly glanced over his shoulder, making sure the door had closed behind him. The two men approached each other, slowly – eyeing each other for some hint of their respective initial reactions.
They were approximately four feet apart.
"Mr. Vasquez," was all Bobby said in greeting, with a slight nod of his head.
The elder man extended his hand to Bobby, "Robert. I'm glad to see you're well." The look in his eyes was sincere, as was the smile that crossed his lips.
Bobby began to speak, but Carlos immediately interrupted him, nervously looking over his should back towards the house. "I've got to tell you, Robert – and please don't think badly of me for saying it..."
Bobby nodded for him to continue.
"...if you've just come out of curiosity or for a few hours' visit, it would be better if you would just leave now, before they see you..."
Bobby shook his head negatively and began to protest – to explain, but the elder man kept talking.
"...I can't stand by and watch...I wouldn't be able to stand seeing the disappointment and hurt in their eyes if you just come and go out of their lives."
Bobby looked Carlos squarely in the eyes, "Mr. Vasquez," his tone never more serious, "I never even knew about Roberto's existence until four days ago. I'm here for my son — and for Maria Elena, if she'll have me."
Carlos smiled, relieved at learning Bobby's intentions. He stepped towards Bobby, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I usually take a morning walk on the beach; come, Son – we have a lot to talk about."
A sense of relief washed over Bobby. That had gone better than expected. He sensed no hostility or animosity from Mr. Vasquez. The two men walked to the end of the block, over a small dune and onto the beach, stopping for a moment; Carlos to remove his sandals and Bobby, his shoes and socks. They walked down towards the shoreline, the coolness of the hard, wet sand beneath their feet.
"I-I'm sorry about Benjamin," Bobby said.
"I'm sorry, too — he squandered his life – his potential — all that crime and the drugs..."
Bobby didn't offer any further details about Benny's death, or the fact that he was there, staring down the barrel of Benny's gun– potentially his last victim, before Sanchez had ended the siege.
Bobby was anxious for details about Maria Elena and Roberto. He could barely stand the anticipation, but he knew Carlos Vasquez – he was a cautious, deliberate man, so Bobby fought the urge to ask the hundreds of questions he had compiled over the past week and let the elder man dictate the pace of their meeting.
"Maria never understood why you returned her letters...she wrote dozens of them."
"I, I never got any letters. Maria never knew my real address — it was too dangerous..."
"She sent them to your precinct. They were all returned – 'refused' or 'undeliverable'."
It began making sense to Bobby. His Commander had suspected that Bobby's relationship with Maria Elena was more than professional and Bobby got reprimanded. Bobby had convinced the higher-ups that he was just playin' her – just like he was Benny. They must have intercepted the mail – never gave it to Bobby and, soon after the operation ended, he was transferred to another precinct.
"I wrote to her, too...b-but you had moved — left no forwarding address. I thought you did it because you didn't want us to be together...I thought you were angry about my deceiving Benny — having your son arrested and put in jail — I thought you were angry about our age difference–that you didn't approve... I, I didn't know what to think."
Mr. Vasquez let out a slight chuckle. "Rosa and I – we always liked you, Robert. We could tell that you were different from Benny – we thought that his having a friend like you would be a good influence on him — get him away from the drugs and the crime."
"If, if I could have done my job without deceiving—hurting the rest of you, believe me, I would have," Bobby assured.
"It's all right, Robert. I've lived long enough to know that people sometimes find themselves in situations that aren't always of their own choosing. You had a job to do – you were on the right side of the law – you shouldn't have any regrets."
"Well, it was never my 'choice' to stay away from Maria Elena — and if I had known about Roberto, well, there'd be no way I'd have stayed away."
"Ah, little 'Berto," Carlos said with a laugh, "He looks like you– especially his eyes. I see Maria looking at him – you know, when he's playing, or doing his homework –or reading— and I know what she's thinking. She couldn't ever escape the memory of you– even if she had wanted to — not when she looked at his face."
The comment, somehow, made Bobby feel proud; still amazed at the fact that he had a little boy–a carbon copy of himself, made purely from the love that he and Maria Elena shared. He couldn't wait to start being a Dad.
"H-how is he? Is he a good boy? Is he doing all right in school?"
"He's excellent – Maria's done a wonderful job with him. He's a good little boy—minds his manners. He's probably the smartest kid in his class– all A's."
Bobby was beaming, until Carlos continued.
"When I think about what Benjamin had planned," Mr. Vasquez' voice trailed off as he became lost in thought; now speaking in barely a whisper, "...I would have killed him myself..."
Bobby stopped walking; Carlos took a few steps, still lost in thought, before noticing. He stopped and turned back towards Bobby.
"Wh-what do you mean what Benny had planned?"
"You mind if we sit a while?"
"No – there 're some rocks over there–," Bobby said, motioning with his finger.
They sat, side by side, looking out over the aqua-blue water; the frothy white foam of the breaking waves lapping at the rocks beneath them.
"It's why I had to get Maria away," he said somberly.
Bobby looked on, curiously; his nod urging Carlos to continue.
"A little while after Benjamin got arrested, one of our neighbors and her daughter went to visit him in jail. While they were talking, they — they let it slip that Maria Elena was...expecting. Maria–she had just told Rosa and me a couple of days before. To be honest with you, Robert, at the time, we weren't exactly thrilled at the news."
Bobby nodded, "I can understand that."
"Well, Benjamin...he was furious...started yelling at Mrs. Ruiz and her daughter...all crazy things...how he would get revenge on you...calling Maria terrible names."
Now, that, too began making sense to Bobby. It was Mrs. Ruiz who he had seen while walking her dog the night Bobby went to the Vasquez' home, only to find them gone and the house empty.
"Mrs. Ruiz came to us and told us what had happened. We knew that Benjamin would be angry, but — he was in jail — we didn't think he'd be able to do anything to us..or you."
Bobby nodded, listening intently.
"A few days later, a couple of Policemen came to our door, with a plain-clothes Detective. We thought it had something to do with Benjamin, but they said they were there for Maria. Apparently, after the Ruiz' visit with Benjamin, he made a call to some of his friends– they turned out to be members of another drug gang across town that he had connections to...the Morello's. Benjamin...arranged for them to kidnap Maria...to bring her to..."
Bobby figured it out and interjected, "...an illegal abortionist..." his voice softly trailed off.
Carlos continued, "...A butcher...in some hidden, filthy back room...at a warehouse in Spanish Harlem...not even a real doctor...Benjamin wanted her baby...your baby dead and, who knows what would've happened to Maria? ...to this day, I try not to think about it."
"So you left – to keep her safe...to protect her and the baby."
"We had no other choice. Benjamin had lots of 'associates' –this time he had gotten caught, but we couldn't take the chance that he wouldn't try again – not with the life of our daughter and our grandchild at stake."
"How did the Police find out about the plan?"
"Luckily, one of the men from the Morello gang he spoke to – he was an undercover cop who had infiltrated that gang. As soon as he learned what Benjamin wanted done, he reported it to his Superiors."
Bobby sighed – with relief and disbelief of their good fortune.
"If that cop hadn't 've been there..." Carlos' voice trailed off.
"Do you remember any of the Officers names, or the Detective's?"
"Oh, yes — the undercover one who ruined Benjamin's...sick plan...we owe our daughter's and our grandson's life to him. Rosa and I, we remember him in our prayers every day – 'Odafin Tutuola'." Carlos chuckled, "It's not easy to forget a name like that."
A broad smile crossed Bobby's lips, lighting up his face. "I know him — 'Fin– he's a great guy. H-he didn't know who the father of Maria's baby was?"
"No – he did know that the baby's father was a cop — because that's what Benjamin kept screaming about when he was convincing them to do the job— that a 'filthy pig had knocked up his sister' —and he was gonna' make you pay for it. Sorry...I was just repeating what he said."
"It's okay. So, you left the city."
"Yes, right away. Maria didn't want to– her mother and I had to convince her that she and the baby were in real danger. We stayed with different relatives – mostly Rosa's sister in San Juan...and then little Roberto finally came...it was the happiest day of our lives."
"Any what about Maria? How is she...really?"
Carlos sighed and rubbed his hands through his wavy hair, "It wasn't easy on her. She missed you, terribly –cried all the time. When the baby came, she was happy— she said it was like having a piece of you with her. Deep down, she never gave up hope that the two of you would be reunited, but she worried, you know...that maybe life had gone on for you— that you had found someone else and gotten on with your life."
Bobby shook his head and sighed, "Not a day has gone by for the past 12 years that my heart didn't ache for her."
"Well, it's been the same for her. She's talked to 'Berto since he was a baby — telling him all about you. He keeps your picture next to his bed."
That, too, made Bobby smile.
"But, Maria – she's done well for herself. Finished her schooling and bought a little salon downtown with her aunt. We're very proud of her. She's a hard worker."
Carlos slid down off the rock, making a small splash in the water. "How long do you plan on staying in Puerto Rico, Robert?"
Bobby slid down, likewise, letting out a heavy sigh, "I'd like to answer 'forever' — but I'm afraid that's up to your daughter."
The elder man smiled, placing his hand on Bobby's shoulder. "There's so much more to talk about...for you and Maria, too — but there's plenty of time for that later. Let's head back to the house. There's gonna' be a couple of people very happy to see you, and one especially happy to meet his Daddy."
Bobby smiled at the thought, the butterflies in his stomach increasing with every step closer.
One Police Plaza - Major Case Squad
Deakins leaned back in his chair, trying to absorb the entire story that Alex had just told him. Alex had never seen a look on his face like it – it was priceless. She sat in the chair across his desk and smiled, "Don't worry— I know it takes a while for it to sink in."
"Bobby—a father." The Captain shook his head, it's incredible — but, he's happy about this, right?"
"Ecstatic– I've never seen him so happy, or so nervous."
"Well, good for him, he deserves it. I, umm, I hope everything turns out — for our sakes, as well— 'cause if it doesn't, he's gonna' be some pain in the ass to deal with when he gets back here," Deakins said.
Alex rolled her eyes and nodded. "I'm dying to give him a call and find out how it's going."
Meanwhile, back at
1229 Calle Central
Rosa Vasquez had heard her daughter's bedroom door open and reached for the pot to pour Maria Elena a fresh, hot cup of coffee. Friday mornings were less hectic for Maria, as the salon was open late on Friday nights, so she didn't head for work until noon. She walked over to her mother, giving her a 'good morning' kiss.
"Good morning, sweetheart; you sleep well?"
"Not really— same as every other night, I guess," she answered with a slight chuckle.
"Is Roberto up yet?"
"No, he was up late. You know how he is— he falls asleep when I tuck him in, then he wakes up in the middle of the night and reads with his flashlight— he thinks I don't know," she laughed.
"Well, your father was up early— went for his morning walk," Rosa said, looking at the kitchen clock and noticing the time, "Almost 8:30 already – he's taking longer than usual."
Maria walked to the front door, slowly taking a sip from her mug. She pulled back the curtain, trying to peek down the street, to see if her father was returning from his walk.
"Mom?" she called.
"What is it, honey?"
"That car is back — it's parked in the driveway." Maria Elena opened the door, to get a better look. The vehicle wasn't occupied.
Her mother joined her, now standing out on the porch; Maria, preoccupied with the mysterious vehicle; Rosa looking down the road, watching as the two figures appeared over the small sand dune.
"Oh my God," she whispered in disbelief.
Maria Elena turned towards her mother, fearful of what was wrong. "What is it, Mom? What's wrong?"
"Look," she said, pointing down the road. "It's your father...and..." She didn't finish her sentence before Maria, too, recognized the figure to her father's left.
The mug crashed to the floor, as Maria rushed down the steps —uncaring that she was in her nightgown. "Bobby! Oh my God, Bobby! Bobby!
Bobby had faintly heard a voice and looked towards the house. He saw her — a beautiful vision, her long hair and gown flowing in the cool morning breeze as she ran towards him, arms open, ready to embrace him.
Leaving Carlos behind, Bobby broke into a run, a huge smile on his face as he neared her. He was less than ten yards away from once again holding the love of his life in his arms— and from having his dreams come true.
Their eyes met, faces beaming with happiness. She rushed towards him even faster, leaping into his arms as he lifted her and clutched her against his chest, wrapping her in a hug that she easily interpreted: he would never again let go of her. He buried his face in the sweet-smelling warmth of the crook of her neck, as she ran her hand through the curls at the back of his head, pressing her lips close to his ear, repeating his name over and over again and reaffirming her love for him.
"I love you," he softly whispered, "I've never stopped loving you." He spun her around and gently placed her down. They stared into each other's eyes, all the while smiling. His large hands softly cupping her face, thumbs gently wiping the happy tears from her cheeks.
"I didn't think it was possible – you're more beautiful than I remembered."
She gazed up at him, her fingers gently brushing through the 'salt and pepper' hair at his temple. "You're even more handsome than I remembered – I like the gray," she teased, with a smile.
He pulled her close, again, holding her against him and planting kiss after kiss upon her head. She laid still against him, in the comforting strength of his embrace, listening to the pounding of his heart.
Carlos and Rosa stood by; far enough away to afford them some privacy, but close enough to feel the love of the reunion they were witnessing. They were both crying their own tears of happiness at the realization of their daughter's dream.
Maria Elena pulled away, slightly, and gazed into Bobby's eyes. It was a look she had seen before—on a long-ago night in Atlantic City—a look of pure desire and love for her. She hoped that her own eyes conveyed the same message to him. He lowered his head, signaling that he wanted to kiss her lips. She smiled and slightly tilted her head back, closing her eyelids and parting her lips. The soft touch of his warm, moist lips upon hers suddenly felt so familiar, it was as if no time, at all, had passed. It felt so good—so right to be with Bobby—she stopped all conscious effort to think about or remember anything and softly melted into him, surrendering to the passion of his gentle but hungrily-exploring kiss.
They parted. She was still smiling up at him, watching as his tongue slowly ran over his lips, as if savoring the taste of their kiss.
"You're so beautiful," he told her again, his piercing brown eyes examining hers. "An-and, you're the mother of my child."
"Yes, I am," she proudly stated. She took his hand. "C'mon…let's go inside," she smiled. "There's a little boy in there who's been waiting a very long time to meet his Daddy."
END Chapter Nine