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Princess Cornelia – You said you couldn't wait for the next chapter. Well, now the wait is over. I hope that once you finish this chapter you will anxiously await the next one.
Thomas Thurman – Still not scared? Good. Because things are about to get even wackier.
THE MOSEBY APARTMENT
Mr. Moseby: I'm quite surprised. This is actually working. I feel much better.
Mr. Moseby's stomach lurches. He gets a "Perhaps I spoke too soon" look on his face and retches. He hobbles gagging to the bathroom.
Cody enters.
Cody: Mr. Moseby? Are you here? I brought you a "Get well soon" card.
He looks around but can't see Mr. Moseby anywhere. He spots a stack of papers on the table.
Cody: It looks like Mr. Moseby's following my advice with that story. I guess I'll help him out a little.
THE TIPTON HOTEL LOBBY
Mr. Moseby studies the chalk outline of D. Ceased. He is approached by Cody wearing a handlebar mustache and a gray suit and bowler hat. He has his head tilted to one side.
Cody (in a French—excuse me, Belgian—accent): Pardon me, but you must be Monsieur Moseby, the detective.
Mr. Moseby: Who are you, Candy Pants?
Cody: My name is not the Candy Pants. I am Hercules Toirpot, the famous sleuth.
He gestures to Zack, standing in a navy blue suit behind him.
Cody: Mon ami and companion, Captain Hasty.
Zack (in a British accent): Good day, good chap.
Mr. Moseby: Back off, little men. This is my case.
Cody: Not anymore, it is not.
He looks at the wall.
Cody: Ah-ha!
Mr. Moseby: Found a clue?
Cody: No. I found a splatter of filth. The cleaning staff should be more attentive.
He snaps his finger. Muriel looks up from the lower level of the lobby.
Muriel: Don't look at me. I ain't cleaning anything up!
Mr. Moseby (to Cody): What makes you so important?
Cody: I am the world's most famous sleuth. My name is known all over the glob.
Zack: The what, old chap?
Cody: The glob, mon ami. Do you not understand what the glob is?
Zack: I can not understand a thing you are saying in that ridiculous French accent.
Cody: Belgian, mon cap-i-tain.
Mr. Moseby: If you're so famous, how come I never heard of you?
Arwin steps into the lobby.
Arwin: You're Hercules Toirpot, the famous Belgian sleuth! Your name is known all over the globe!
Cody: I told you the so. What can I do for you, Mr. …?
Arwin: Professor. Professor Arwin. I need a detective.
Mr. Moseby: Moseby, P.I., at your service.
Arwin: No. I need a good one.
Zack nudges Cody.
Zack: I think he means you, old chap.
Cody: I know that. I know that. How can I help you, professor?
Arwin: Well, I'm one of the foremost robotics experts in the country, and I've been working for months on a project I call the Digital Operating Gadget, or the DOG.
Zack: Why do you call it that?
Arwin: Because it walks like a dog, barks like a dog, and even wags its cute little iron tail like a dog. It also explodes into a puff of smoke, can climb walls, fits into tiny places, and can carry large amounts of stuff inside of it. More importantly, it knows how to fetch, roll over, and play dead.
Mr. Moseby: Was this something you were working on for the military?
Arwin: Of course not. This was going to be the world's greatest toy. But somebody stole it!
Mr. Moseby: When did this happen?
Arwin: Oh, a couple of days ago. Why?
Mr. Moseby: That's the same day the Tipton dame lost her pet poochie.
Cody: Then I shall look for the professor's dog while you shall look for Mademoiselle Tipton's dog.
Arwin: You'd really do that for me, Monsieur Toirpot?
Cody: It shall be simple. All a matter of the little green cells.
Zack: I believe you mean "little gray cells", old boy.
Cody: Whatever the color! You still know what I am talking about!
He turns to Mr. Moseby.
Cody: I shall see you again, perhaps, after our cases are solv-ed.
Mr. Moseby: Knock yourself out.
Cody tips his hat and walks without looking. He falls over a banister and lands safely on a couch below. Mr. Moseby puts his hand on the railing and looks down.
Mr. Moseby: I didn't mean that literally.
THE MOSEBY APARTMENT
Cody looks over his work and is quite pleased with himself. He puts down the paper and leaves as Mr. Moseby returns from the bathroom.
Mr. Moseby looks at the paper and scratches his head, certain he couldn't have written the last few paragraphs himself.
He shrugs it off and pick up his pencil.
MOSEBY'S OFFICE
Mr. Moseby (narrating): When I returned to my office I found my faithful secretary waiting for me.
Mr. Moseby opens the door. Maddie is sitting at a small desk, wearing a white blouse, a long black skirt, and a tiny-framed pair of glasses. Her hair is tied back with a dark ribbon. She is sitting at a typewriter and cracking gum.
Mr. Moseby: Hey there, angel.
Maddie: Oh. Hi, Chief. But my name's not Angel.
Mr. Moseby: I know it isn't Angel, angel.
He throws his trench coat onto a coat rack and adjusts the brim of his hat.
Mr. Moseby: Here's what I want you to do for me. Find out all you can about D. Ceased.
Maddie: You mean the poor guy that was whacked the other night?
Mr. Moseby: That's the one, angel. And find out all you can about the Falcon.
Maddie: The what?
Mr. Moseby: Also known as the Bird.
Maddie: I have no idea what you're talking about, Chief.
Mr. Moseby: I know it's not very specific, but I'm sure you can manage. Also, get me all you can on that dizzy Tipton dame.
Maddie: One more thing, boss. Some lookerleft this for you.
Maddie hands Mr. Moseby a calling card. He flips it over in his hand. It says, "Meet me in the lounge at 11:00 tonight. Don't be late. You will buy me a drink and I will help you with your case."
Mr. Moseby (narrating): It was written in lipstick. A dame who writes a card with lipstick can only be one thing: Trouble!
A/N – See you again in one week! BTW, do you know which famous sleuth and famous author I was paying tribute to with the first half of this chapter?