To: Captain Erialc
From: Captain Haras
Subject: RE: HELP !!!!All right we have dispersed Brad663 he is uber hot and uber athletic. OK, not the dude of your dreams but he will have to do. All the perfect guys are too depressed by the fact that the world has ended, they were not in the mood to save another damsel in distress. (However long and brown (how poetic) her hair is).
I am sorry but you will have to ride home in his Jag (gag) it is not green and not convertible. You will have to spend many hours in the care-ship with him and he is not very bright. However His mind has been updated with lots of star wars trivia facts and I'm sure he would love to help you coil your hair into cinnamon buns over your ears. Oh yes and be sure to hook your hair over something before he starts to climb it, it will hurt when he pulls and we want you to suffer as little pain as possible(on rescue missions or otherwise.) You are locked up because somehow the two boys that we were constantly surveying somehow started to sing nursery rimes and slipped a sleeping pill into the guards coffee so that as Doug and Albert were snoring loudly the ruffians slipped away undetected.
Hope everything is pleasant and well for you,
Captain Haras