Chapter 7 – Wedding Bells Ring

While I was still reeling from the staggering effectiveness of Creeves' plan for removing Hermione from the flat before she could secure a promise of matrimony from the young master, Hedwig flew in with the second post. In it was a letter from Aunt Petunia – a Howler in fact, as per her usual.

"HARRY,

"YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO SEE US SINCE CHRISTMAS. I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS TO DISCUSS WITH YOU. TELL THAT MAN OF YOURS TO PACK FOR AN EXTENDED STAY AND TO BRING YOUR TUXEDO."

"Well, Creeves, this clinches it. She means to run off and marry Snape, and she actually expects me to attend the ceremony. Not that they aren't perfect for each other – fiends of a feather and all that. But Harold wants no part of it. Fry up some Plimpy, Creeves, and think of a plan for getting me out of this mess."

"Actually, sir, I believe we should accede to Mrs. Dursley-Lovegood's wishes."

"Oh do you, Creeves?" I said with undisguised sarcasm. "You think we should Floo right over?"

"No, sir. Mrs. Dursley-Lovegood has sent train tickets. Arriving by Floo at a private residence is not proper form for a gentlewizard."

"I see, and I suppose you think you should press my tux for me to wear at the wedding."

"Yes, sir, though I do not believe it will be a wedding between Mrs. Dursley-Lovegood and Professor Snape."

"Good heavens, you don't think she's planning to have me marry Luna?"

"No, sir. Though I do suspect that Miss Lovegood will be getting married soon."

I was beginning to feel that I was grasping for a Snitch that Creeves had caught ages ago and no one had got around to telling me that the match was over. There was nothing for it but to put my faith in the man whose brain was so large it made his head stick out at the back, and assume that all would turn out right in the end.

On the train ride to Ottery St. Catchpole I reflected on Snape and Aunt Petunia. Snape had not been seen by polite society in years. Though he was officially cleared of all wrongdoing, most of us right-thinking sort knew he was still not to be trusted. The story in the Quibbler wasn't covered by the Prophet and I hadn't really believed that Snape was back, let alone that he would be taking over at my old school.

Aunt Petunia, as sister to the late great Lily Potter, was warmly embraced by the wizarding world after Uncle Dursley's death. All of her old prejudices seemed to dry up (except for those held toward me), and she'd been married to old Lovegood for the last three years.

Once she egged me on to marry Luna, and we were almost engaged not long after Ron and Hermione. I only oiled out of it by being too chicken to pinch Luna's grandfather's embarrassing memoirs before he could have them published, and Luna decided Harold was not fashioned from sturdy husband material after all.

My mind reeled at visions of the potential horrors that awaited, but my incompetent divination professor, Sibyll Trelawney, could not have done a worse job at predicting what I would find at my destination than I.

"Harry!" shouted Ron as we arrived at the gate outside Lovegood Manor. "You came! I've got incredible news. I'm getting married! This Saturday!"

"What? To Hermione?"

"Please, Harry, I can't stand her. She's a nightmare, honestly. No, I'm in love with Luna!"

Just then Luna walked over to Ron, tugged at his elbow and asked him to give her a moment alone with me. Ron obliged and went inside with Creeves. Luna took my arm and led me along the garden path.

"Harry," she began, "what I have to say will be painful for you to hear. I'm going to marry Ronald. Shh … don't speak. I know you have always hoped that you and I would be married one day, but it was not in the tea-leaves. I'm sorry Ronald had to spring it on you so abruptly but he never knew about us. You see, I am a wicked witch. I only wanted to marry you because I thought I had lost Ronald to Hermione. I do love you, Harry, but never the way that I love… I love… ohh." Her voice became a squeak and she dabbed at a tear. "I'm so very happy, Harry. And you two are such good friends. Please tell me that one day you will be happy for us, too."

"Oh, right ho!" I said.

I was instantly bucked up by the news that my fears of having to marry Luna were unfounded, but there was a catch – if Ron was going to save me from Luna, he could not very well also save me from Hermione.

I resolved then and there that I would face it like a man and stand up to Hermione if she came around with that "Harry darling" routine again. We Potters can be pretty brave when we have to – after all, my ancestors acquitted themselves proudly at the Battle of Camlann. I decided I would simply tell Hermione that she must forget all thoughts of our getting engaged. Yes, Harold would make the firm stand.

Even money says I would do nothing of the sort and instead propose to her again, but an even chance is better than none at all.

I sought Creeves and found him in a guest room unpacking my belongings. I learned from him that while Snape did make a hit with Petunia, there was never any danger of the two of them running off. Luna was just reading too much into it as usual. When Creeves went to see her, instead of easing her mind he fanned her flame of paranoia and advised her to tell me all about it. Then he sent her to Ron of all people for advice.

"I knew from talking to Miss Ginevra Weasley," he explained as I dressed for the ensuing engagement celebration, "that Miss Lovegood had long held a secret affection for Mister Weasley. I felt that putting them both together in their hour of mutual distress would bring this hidden love to light."

"So Luna was potty for Ron, eh? But what made you think Ron would go for her? He was pretty hung up on Hermione."

"If I may be so bold, sir, I have noticed that Mister Weasley's affections, though both strong and genuine, are easily transferable."

"He is a sucker," I observed. "But what happened to Hermione? And how did you know she would run off as she did?"

"Years ago at Hogwarts, my brother Dennis was infatuated with Miss Granger to the extent that he read the young lady's personal journal without her knowledge."

"He sneaked her diary?"

"Yes, sir. There he learned of Miss Granger's unrequited love for a certain professor. This knowledge soured my brother's feelings toward her, but he revealed his discovery to no one save me."

"Don't say it, Creeves. Don't say Hermione was in love with Snape."

"Was and I believe still is, sir. When she heard that Professor Snape had returned and believed that another woman was vying for him, she did not hesitate to pursue him. She is, even as we speak, securing a position teaching potions at Hogwarts so that she will be near Professor Snape when he takes over for Headmistress McGonagall."

"Creeves, I've said it before and I'll say it once again. You stand alone."

"Thank you, sir."

"You know that Chudley Cannons hat of mine that you don't like?"

"The one that simulates cannon fire from the wearer's ears, sir?"

"The same, Creeves, the same. Well, I want you to get rid of it."

"Thank you, sir. I disposed of it last week."

THE END