Disclaimer: Would I spend my time writing fan fiction if I was the successful author of the Harry Potter series?
Chapter 2: Mark Smith
"James Arthur Potter, you come down here right now before I kick your sorry arse from here to kingdom come!" Lily Evans shrieked. All those in the Common Room stared at her as she entered. No one had heard her curse before. Mind you, if anyone could make curse it would be…
"James A. Potter, at your service", James gloated with a bow and a smile. "How may I serve you fair Lillian, though you must remember to mind your language?"
"Oh, and you can talk," scoffed Lily. "And really, where the hell do you get off? You die Mark's hair bright pink, and of course that's before you gave him antlers. And then, to top it off, you say that he'll get much worse if he goes on a date with me. So really Potter, where the hell do you get off?" Lily's hair seemed to crackle with anger.
"Is that all?"
"Is that all." Lily seemed slightly dazed. Then quick as a flash she recovered. "Is that all you can say, Mr I'm-Just-Ruining-Your-Life Potter. Of course that's all, stupid. Hang on a sec…. WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU DONE!"
"Now Lillian, dear, DO calm down. I merely told Mark I-Know-Everything Smith," here someone snickered, but the look Lily sent around the Common Room quelled any desire to laugh. "That if he ate something Peter offered him, he would regret it. Being the type of stupid idiot he is, he ate it. It was hexed. That's how he got the pink hair and antlers." James explained. His eyes seemed to have glazed over momentarily at the memory, but he quickly snapped out of it. "When he complained I added that it was nothing compared to what I could do if he, say, dated a girl I liked. I never mentioned you."
"By name, but it was obvious to everyone he was talking about you." Sirius had been quiet, until this moment but had obviously decided to make his presence known. He called this out from his seat by the fire with the other marauders.
"Thanks Padfoot," James called sarcastically back. "That's so helping"
"You're welcome Prongs, old buddy" Sirius stated happily.
Lily seemed to have been trying to hold herself in. At this point she exploded. "YOU DO THIS AGAIN AND YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!" she screamed, before running up the stairs. James appeared unaffected by this outburst, even though it felt like she had stabbed him roughly with each syllable. He went and sat with the rest of the marauders. All but Sirius believed the disguise.
"Well that went well, considering." Remus finally declared.
"Considering what?" James asked, warily.
"That she hates you." Remus explained.
James put his head in his hands, but they could still hear his muffled, sarcastic comment. "Thanks Moony. I really needed to hear that."