Disclaimer: FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT J K ROWLING!

Chapter 4: Jake Thompson

"POTTER," Lily yelled from her place on the couch. James, who had just come through the portrait hole, looked up guiltily. It appeared to everyone that he had tried to avoid this moment. Everyone had come down when they heard a fuming Lily slam the portrait closed and no one had gone to bed since. Lily and James' fights had been in short supply as they had been on reasonably good terms since Amos mysteriously turned into a canary and dumped Lily.

"Uhh, hey Lils," James started. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Well why on earth would you expect to see me when you TURNED MY BOYFRIEND IN TO AN OCTOPUS, James. I don't see why I would be looking for you, do you?" Lily's voice had a chill in it, but she also appeared to be trying very hard not to laugh. Most people thought they were mistaking the glint in her eyes, when actually they were spot on with their original assumption.

"Well, you see…uhh," James looked very uncomfortable and his hands were twisting by his waist. "Well only until he agreed to dump you. It was only for about a minute."

"But as he turned away I gave him bunny ears," No one was sure where Sirius Black had come from, but he was certainly was here now and ha was a major part of the conversation.

James winked at Lily, though everyone missed it but its intended recipient who responded with a deep blush that no one missed or understood. "But Sirius, I thought you liked him? Why would you do that to such a nice chap?" He seemed genuinely concerned, but no one knew the grin that was threatening to engulf his face. This was what all those hours of planning had been for.

"Well, I haven't liked him since he asked Amelia out…" Sirius started before jumping about a mile in the air and running up the stairs. He seemed to have realised that everyone was in the Common Room, including Amelia Henrikson who was now a shade of deep scarlet, and they could all hear him.

Suddenly, both Lily and James burst out laughing and were soon doubled up in giggles. When they both came back to their senses they high-fived. No one understood and watched this exchange with increasing bewilderment.

"Good plan," Lily complimented. "I didn't think he'd actually do it though."

"Ahh, but I am the best," James teased good naturedly. "Maybe he didn't think you'd ask out a guy he didn't like with the express purpose of making him admit he fancied someone."

"I didn't know you had such good acting skills, you looked so guilty, I almost believed you had done something. Well other than turn Jake into an octopus. You know, I'm going to go apologise to him" and without another word she headed out of the Portrait Hole.

"See ya," James called after her before haeding off to talk to his best friend.

Everyone in the Common Room looked at each other with increasing astonishment, except Remus and Peter who headed up the stair s to talk to Sirius.