To: C.Erialc
From: Darth Small
Subject: RE: Hey!
No, I am un-touchable to the female race. Also to the Ewoks but that was an accident. Its a bit of a drag, I mean...a celibate existence is a bit dull...however I cannot be harmed by you. Vampires will try to suck my blood and find that it is riddled with silver. One sip and they are dead. Oh well. I am still superior to you.
I FEEL DEPLY ABOUT THE DEEP FEELINGS OF OTHERS HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT I DONT? DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME? THIS IS MAKING ME FEEL VERY UN-LOVED RIGHT NOW! I DONT LIKE FEELING UN-LOVED! JUST BECAUSE I CANT GET MARRIED TO A WOMAN DOESNT MEAN IM NOT MARIED! I HAVE A LOVELY LIFE-PARTNER! HIS NAME IS BRAD664! JEEZE! HOW CAN AN ELLE WOODS IMPERSINATOR BE SO HEARTLESS?
Oh and I think I've done vampires b4. They're really stressed out (unlike me). I think its all the killing. (Totally unlike me!) But one of my best friends is an ex-vampire. (Shut up, I am so not my own best friend!) Have a lovely day your highness. By the way, you are already engaged to Luke, you can't get married to your co-worker (who is he? can I come to the wedding? I love cake!) ! Oh well if you're happy I'm happy with the fact that I know that you're happy.
Sincerely,
Darth Small
p.s. I think I may be a vampire! ahh!