AN As always, much love to Occasus and Aimless! Also, I am looking for 3-4 other people to do a shared fic with. You can email me if you are interested at ladyduzell21 at Yahoo dot com.

Chapter 4: Downpour

Sanzo drifted in and out of a restless sleep in the chair beside Hakkai's bed. He had barely moved from that spot in three days. Occasionally, he would go outside to smoke or downstairs to eat and Goku or Yaone would take his place, but that wasn't often. There was a fear inside of him that something would happen and he wouldn't be there. Why did it matter so much to him? But the better question was—why didn't it matter at all to Gojyo?

No one had seen the bastard since he had left Hakkai's room three nights ago. The fucking kappa had run away. He had caused this and now he wasn't even here to help Hakkai through it all. Gojyo was good at leaving. That had been proven when he left with Kami. Never once did he ever show any kind of caring for Hakkai. Sanzo remembered the pain in his eyes when he found Gojyo gone. He remembered how it had been the one time that he had been on the receiving end of the green eyed man's quiet rage. The kappa didn't care, not the way that he should. Hakkai loved him so much. It had been one of the few times Sanzo had ever seen anyone truly love another. That's why he had tried to protect Gojyo, but it hadn't been reason enough for Gojyo to stay. He really didn't deserve Hakkai. If anything was certain, it was that Sanzo wouldn't hesitate to kill him if he ever saw him again.

When he closed his eyes, Sanzo could see the whole scene play out in his head. The vision of his master stepping in front of him and taking the mortal blow had never really left him. Now, that image had changed. He saw Hakkai, Hakkai's blood splattering on the floor. Once again, Sanzo found himself wishing that he could turn back time. If he had left a few hours earlier….No, that was stupid. Nothing could change the past; Sanzo was pragmatic enough to realize that, but there was something else involved here. Something that he couldn't admit to himself yet.

Hakkai stirred in his sleep. He did that quite often, actually. A few times, he'd been "awake" or so it seemed, and even spoken to them before drifting back into his fevered and pain ridden dreams. "Gojyo," he said weakly. "Gojyo?"

Sanzo said nothing, but watched the man. Without seeing his eyes open, it was hard to tell if Hakkai was awake or dreaming again. When he tried to sit up, Sanzo broke his silence. "It's alright. Stay still," he told him trying to be as gentle as possible.

Confusion turned the corners of Hakkai's mouth. "Why can't I see? Why does my face hurt?" There was fear and a childlike denial in that voice.

It felt like someone had tied a noose around Sanzo's neck. "You were hurt," he said slowly. "There was a fight in a bar with a demon, and…and he took your eyes."

"No. Where's Gojyo? GOJYO! GOJYO!" He sat up straight in bed and struggle against Sanzo as he tried to hold him down. Hakkai kept calling for a man who would never come.

Goku burst through the door. The golden eyed boy ran to the bed and joined in Sanzo's effort to keep Hakkai still. "It's going to be alright," he said softly. In that instant, Sanzo was glad that Goku could give him the limp assurances that he could not.

"Where is he?" Hakkai pleaded. "Is he alright? Why isn't he here?"

The sheen of tears shown in Goku's eyes. "He was okay. Yaone set his shoulder and said he'd be fine. I'm going to find him, Hakkai. I'll bring him back."

Hakkai leaned back onto Sanzo's chest taking shuddering breaths. Could he still cry? Sanzo wasn't sure. He simply held his friend tight. There was nothing more he could do. "Where's Yaone?" he asked Goku.

"In the market. I'll go get her."

When Goku was gone, neither man said a thing. Sanzo traced idle patterns on the back of Hakkai's arm. It was an intimate touch, but touch seemed to be the only way he could comfort him. He had never been the one to know what to say to make someone feel better. It wasn't in him to lie and say that everything would be alright. How could everything be alright? Hakkai was blind. Gojyo had left him. What was there that Sanzo could say to him?

"Sanzo?"

"I'm here, Hakkai," he whispered. The dark haired man nodded. That seemed to satisfy him for the moment. Sanzo couldn't imagine what must be going through his mind right now. He took a deep breath. "I'm not going anywhere." And he knew that he meant that.

The two men were still seated on the bed together when Yaone opened the door. Swinging his face toward the sound, Hakkai sat up straight as if he expected the youkai to attack him. "You're awake. May I please take a look at you," Yaone asked gently as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Sanzo, would you please go get my bag from other room?"

Her bag was sitting on the edge of the table, but Sanzo got the hint. He nodded. "I'll be back," he promised Hakkai. It took all of his willpower to force himself to walk out of that room, but he managed.

Downstairs, he sat at the bar and ordered a whiskey. Goku sat down uninvited beside him. "This is real bad, Sanzo."

"You think I don't know that?" the monk snapped. He ran a hand through his shaggy blonde hair.

"Do you think he'll be okay?"

"How the hell should I know? I know that he's lost just about anything that mattered to him." Sanzo downed the amber liquid and lit a cigarette.

"Aren't you going to DO anything?" Goku pleaded.

"Do what? Goku, don't you get it that life as he knows it is over? It's up to him now to decide what to do."

Goku looked away. "You would say that."

The chimp's departure didn't give him any peace. Dropping a few bills on the counter, he went back upstairs and did the one and only thing he could think of to make Hakkai even the slightest bit happier. Opening the door of the room at the end of the hall, Sanzo stared at the tiny white, creature balled up on the bed. "Kyu," the dragon chirped weakly. They had locked him in here when they began treating Hakkai. Hakuryuu had gone crazy trying to get to his master. Since then, the dragon barely ate.

"C'mon," he told him. "I'll take you to Hakkai."

Hakuryuu's head popped up at the sound of Hakkai's name and fluttered on to Hakkai's shoulder. Sanzo wasn't sure how much the thing understood, but it did seem to care for his master.

When Sanzo cracked the door open to Hakkai's room, he caught a glimpse of Yaone finishing up changing the dressing over Hakkai's face. She cast him a sorrowful glance. "I've brought someone to see you," Sanzo announced.

Hakkai turned towards his voice, but said nothing. The white dragon chirped happily as he landed in his master's lap. The saddest smile he had ever seen crossed Hakkai's lips as he stroked Hakuryuu's neck.

"Your pet is much less annoying than mine," Sanzo quipped hoping that it would get some sort of response from Hakkai, but the dark haired man said nothing. How the roles had changed. "Do you mind if I stay?"

Hakkai shook his head, and continued petting the dragon. "Kyu." the dragon said sadly looking to Sanzo. The animal seemed to be begging him to help his master.

Sanzo moved to the window and stared out at the gray sky. The rain was coming.