(A/N: WEEEEEE! I'd like to thank the academy and all my lovely reviewers! This chappie goes out to melchiah25! Thankya bunches babe! Dont know ya, but this is fer you hun!(damn that sounded mean, didn't mean it too but man...snff...I'm a big fat meanie! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ((Can ya TELL I'M MENSTRAL!)) Anyways, Enjoy!)
The Shichinintai watched in amusement as the Color Twins argued loudly, fighting ferociously for possesion of the all mighty remote control. "Chicken Wrestling!" "Monster Trucks!" "Chicken Wrestling!" "Monster Trucks!" "Chicken Wrestling!" "Monster Tr-" "Ayakkun! Yacchan!" Ayaki snapped, stepping between her children, "I know of an easy compromise." She grabbed the remote and flipped to a channel and a glazed, happy expression filled her children's faces, "Chickens driving Wrestling Monster Trucks…KILLER!" "What's the big deal?" Renkotsu said stupidly, not realizing his grievous error, "It's just poultry riding around in headless Ginkotsu's." Ayane and Ayato's eyes gleamed, "You insulted Chicken Monster Truck Wrestling?…HAVE AT THEE!" they shouted, launching themselves at him. Ayane locked his legs and arms in place by wrapping her legs around his and getting him in a strangle hold. Meanwhile Ayato had dashed to the kitchen to grab two bottles of Guatemalan Insanity Pepper Hot Sauce. Ayane grabbed one bottle and popped the top with her teeth, "Wuh-what are you gonna do with-" "VENGENCE!" they roared, squeezing hot sauce into his eyes (Ayato) and mouth (Ayane).
The Shichintai had learned better by mow than to interfere with Ayato and Ayane's fun (besides, what Renkotsu said was uncalled for!), and they were now eating popcorn offered to them by Ayaki as Renkotsu screamed (or tried to. Ayane kept shoving that bottle down his gullet and pouring hot sauce down his throat).
When both bottles were empty, Ayane released her grip on the snake eyed man, "Next time, we're using Banryuu." Ayane snarled. Ayato nodded in agreement and they returned to watching they're show. After five minutes, Suikotsu foolishly spoke up, "Ugh…how can you two watch this trash?" Ayane head snapped around, "GRRRRAARRRRRRRRRRR!" a low, loud growl erupted from her throat; there was a red blur that became a fleeting cyclone surrounding the mentally-unstable man, and Ayane returned to her coma in front of the T.V…but not until after dressing Suikotsu in a bunny outfit.
After two hours of mind numbing T.V., the Color Family was bored so they randomly decided that they were going to the zoo and that the Shichinintai were coming (whether they liked it or not.) "Why should we?" Renkotsu asked haughtily. Ayaki nodded at Ayane who whipped out some very, very racy photos of the Shichinintai. "WHERE DID YOU GET-" they screamed. "During Mardi Gras. We knew might need something to blackmail you with, so we hired two Private Investigators to follow you all around, take pictures and video tape you!" Ayato said evilly, grinning broadly. "You wan'm back? Yer gunna hafta earn'm back one at a time!" Ayaki cackled. "And to start, you can earn back these two lovelies of Bankotsu making out with a moose and Jakotsu and Renkotsu going down on each other by going to the zoo with us!" Ayane said brightly.
It took them quite awhile to get past security, after all, the front gate had a metal detector and what with Ginkotsu being the tin man and all…needless to say it took a bit of explaining, persuading, and extortion to get him through the gates.
"Alright! Where to first?" Ayaki asked. "MONKEYS!" the twins shouted. "Whatever…" The Shichinintai said listlessly. They made their way to the monkey cages where a zookeeper named Hiroshi had a baby chimp in his arms. "AAAAWWWWWWW! HOW KYOOOOOOOOOT!" Ayane and Ayaki squealed. "Dude…did they just act like…girls?" Bankotsu asked Ayato in disbelief. "They have their moments." Ayato sighed in a put out way. Hiroshi couldn't help but notice the two women fawning over the infant primate from a distant and quickly closed the gap, "Excuse me, would you like to hold Kokou?" "Could we?" Ayane asked, already taking the chimp gently. Ayato glared at Hiroshi. Had Hiro been about fifty years older, Ayato wouldn't have minded him coming around his Mom or sister, but the fact that he was probably only three, maybe four years older than Ayane, irked him to no end.
Suikotsu stared at the baboon cage. The baboon stared back imperiously. Suikotsu stared at the monkey. The monkey stared back. "Suikotsu? C'mere!" Jakotsu called, waving and bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Huh?" he said turning in surprise, and as he did so, his claws tore through the lock, releasing the thirty seven baboons within who all went straight for Hiroshi. "GYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUGGH!" he bellowed fleeing from the shrieking baboons. "What the-" Ayane gasped, Kokou still in her arms. She waltzed over to the lock and examined it and whirled around, "Ayato!" "What? Whaddye do?" he said in feigned innocence. "You softened the metal! I was interested in the monkey, not the ape who was holding her!" Ayane snapped, giving her mother a turn with Kokou as she poked Ayato sharply in the chest.
Renkotsu was watching things unfold from a nearby bench when…
POPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOP!
Renkotsu flew twenty feet in the air, his flask of gasoline went flying, striking his shiny bald head with a crash and exploding into flame as it came into contact with the firecrackers some fool of a child decided to hurl at him, leading to Renkotsu becoming an involuntary member of the Japanese Space Program.
Renkotsu drifted through the airless space (mysteriously able to breathe ((damn it all!)) ) when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. "Hey! Is that a giant baby? What the fuck have I been smokin'?" Renkotsu cried as a joint floated out of his kimono sleeve, "Oh yeah…pot."
Jakotsu leaned against a cage, watching the heated argument between the Color Twins, when he felt a sharp tug on the back of his head. He tried to turn his head to see who it was (so he could make them pay) but found himself trapped.
Tomo spotted another human against the side of his cage. He prepared to lean down and scoop up a handful of excrement when something glinted in the human's minimal patch of fur. Taking a chance, Tomo skittered forward and took a closer look. Oooh…so shiny…so sparkly…He had to make it his. He reached up and pulled and found himself in quite a predicament. His nimble fingers had become ensnarled in this brutish human's fur!
"Oh My GOD! HAHAHAHAHAHA! This is a photo op if I ever saw one!" Ayane laughed hysterically, snapping picture after picture of the spider monkey trapped in Jakotsu's hair. "Stop taking picture and GET IT OUT!" Jakotsu screamed. "Oh fine. Calm down." Ayato said soothingly, quickly untangling the monkey fingers from Jakotsu's hair pin and hair in a position that made it appear to the casual observer that they were hugging. "There! All done!" Ayato said starting to move away, but Jakotsu quickly wrapped his arms around Ayato's neck, "Awww…but you didn't give me a chance to thank you properly…" Jakotsu said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Later." Ayato said, blushing furiously. "Hey! Where'd Banpyon go?" Ayane asked looking left and right.
Bankotsu some how had ended up in the big cat section and was stumbling around dizzily. It was, for some reason, becoming harder for him to breathe with each step and his eyes were watering and sooo itchy! His skin was covered in hives and he was sneezing violently. "Sir? Sir, I highly suggest you leave, like, um, NOW!" a zookeeper named Kimi said, looking very worried. "Hunuh? ;:snrk:; buh whah?" he asked. "Because it appears as though you have SERIOUS allergies to cats, sir! You need to get out of here." "Ohkayee." He said, walking dazedly towards the monkey cages.
They only went home because Ayane, Ayato and Ayaki realized they were going to miss BANZAI! and they didn't even realize Renkotsu was missing until he slammed into the ground like a fiery meteor in front of the house five hours later.
(A/N: WOOOT! Remember that I will always take requests no matter how stupid, pointless or random! And Lena Silverwing? If I get two or three more request for a side story on JakXYa, your wish shall come true.
WOOHOO! Next time, a water skiing squirrel! Don't forget your Authoress needs steady nourishment. R&R! FEED THE AUTHORESS!)