AN—Many thanks to Aimless and Occasus. This is for you Althea…I hope I can speed things up a bit for you. ;)

Chapter 7: Never Be the Same

Goku groaned as he rolled over on his stomach. Somehow Sanzo had gotten Hakkai to come out of his room. He didn't say a single word during the meal, and he ate next to nothing, but he came down. Didn't that count for something? This whole thing had made him realize just how helpless he really was sometimes. Houmei always said "just because you save the world once, doesn't mean that you can control it." He knew she was right, of course, but this had proven it. There hadn't been a damn thing he could do to help Hakkai. Logically, he knew that this wasn't his fault, but he felt a certain amount of guilt knowing that he couldn't do ANYTHING.

The air in this place was suffocating. With this heat, he wasn't going to be able to sleep, so he threw on his clothes and went for a walk. The entire town had dimmed. He couldn't say that he didn't like the place. It was exactly like a hundred other nameless places they'd been when they were heading West. Not much about any single town stood out, except maybe the youkai they'd fought there. Well, that and how good the food was.

He missed Houmei's cooking. In fact, he missed everything about his wife and daughters. He'd sent a message to her yesterday telling her about what happened. She wouldn't complain about it; Hakkai had always been her favorite member of the Sanzoikko. Grinning, he remembered how Hakkai had completely taken over the kitchen while she was on bed rest for the last three months of her pregnancy. The amazing part about it was that the man had done it with a smile. That was why he knew Houmei wouldn't mind taking care of him until…Goku stopped. Until what? He got his eyes back? He wasn't quite certain how Hakkai would ever be able to take care of himself. Dinner had been just short of disastrous. The man who was once so poised spilled just about everything he touched. What would Hakkai do for the rest of his life?

Goku kicked a rock at his feet idly. The he saw something that made him pause. A tall, thin figure moved ahead of him. What really caught his eye though was long, red hair in the moonlight. "Gojyo!" Goku raced after the person. "Gojyo wait!"

The man turned and destroyed the illusion. "You callin me, kid?" His face wasn't anything like Gojyo, and the hair looked like it came for a cheap bottle of dye.

"I though you were someone I knew," Goku said sadly.

The inn was totally dark when Goku made it back. He went straight upstairs and fell into a dreamless sleep.

Morning came before Goku knew it, and he was unceremoniously tossed out of bed. "Wake up, stupid monkey!"

Sanzo looked down at him with his usual annoyed expression. "What's the big idea?" Goku asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Yaone says Hakkai is okay to travel. We're going to his home to get some of his things, and leaving tomorrow at dawn." As usual, there was no questioning Sanzo's plans. The priest never asked anyone for their opinion, least of all Goku.

The pair opened the door to the quaint house, and Sanzo let out a snort. He never had cared for them settling in together. Whether it was Sanzo's homophobia or just his distaste for the kappa, he didn't know, but he hadn't bothered to hide his thoughts about it.

The place was just the way it had been when they'd been there the night Hakkai was blinded, complete with sake and cup on the coffee table. A quiet hung in the air that made Goku think of a museum . He hated that feeling and decided to lighten the mood. "Gojyo needs to learn to clean up his messes."

He didn't see the fan coming . "Stupid monkey!"

"What did I say?" Goku asked nursing a rising welt.

"Let's get what we came for and get the fuck out," the monk commanded.

They found most of Hakkai's things without any problem, and packed them into a bag. His clothes and the watch from Kanan went in first. Goku stopped himself as he began putting Hakkai's books in the bag. Maybe he'd like me to read them to him, Goku though as he continued. The room was filled with things that Hakkai would no longer need. An extra monocle, a sketchbook that he had toyed with from time to time, and other odds and ends things.

He was about to ask Sanzo what to pack, when he looked up and found the monk staring at a framed photo of Gojyo and Hakkai. "Keh," he said disdainfully as he threw it on the ground listening to the glass crack. "Let's go."

"But I…"

"Do you have his clothes?"

"Yeah, but…."

"Then we're done." He watched as Sanzo turned on his heel and left.

That night, Hakkai stayed in his room again. He seemed reluctant to eat in front of his friends again. Goku pulled the most battered looking book from the bag. This must be one of his favorites, he decided. Upstairs, he found Hakkai standing by the window again. From the way his head was turned, you could almost swear he was staring out at the sky. He knocked gently on the door, and Hakkai turned toward the sound. "I thought maybe you'd like me to read to you for a while."

Goku seated himself and began to read.

"Please, stop," Hakkai begged softly. "I don't want your pity."

"What about my friendship?" Goku asked swallowing a knot in his throat.

"Just stop."

"Hakkai, sooner or later…."

"I said stop it! Damn it, why won't any of you just listen to me!"

Goku nodded. "Okay. I'll let you alone now, but tomorrow we're leaving."

Outside, he shut the door and leaned against the wall. In a way, this was worse than Sanzo's depression over loosing the sutra. However he looked at it, it didn't seem like things were bound to get better anytime soon.

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Hakuryuu lifted his head from his Master's lap. He hated that Master wasn't happy anymore. His wounds must hurt very badly. The cloth thing that humans put on wounds kept Hakuryuu from seeing how badly Master was injured, but it must be very, very bad. He didn't like the way his Master stumbled about, either. He appeared to be lost, but Hakuryuu didn't know why he let them put that cloth over his eyes. A wound would heal without it, and then Master could see.

Master was his everything. He fed him, and petted him, and kept him warm, protected him. Yes, Master was good. He chirped sadly. His Master was mean to Little One, and that was not like the Master that he knew. Nor was it like him to fight with Gold One. He nuzzled Master's cheek trying to make him feel better, but Master began making sad noises. Hakuryuu did not like this one bit. Did Master cry from pain? Or did he miss his mate?

Master's mate confused him very much. Red One liked smoke, and made loud noises. Also, Hakuryuu concluded that he must not know how to tell a male human from a female one, because he had thought that Red One was a male. But that didn't make sense how could two males be mates? If his Master could talk to him, Hakuryuu would have asked him these things, but all he could do was curl up and hope that Master was better soon.

Hakuryuu couldn't remember much before Master had found him. He was cold and it was dark out. His tiny wings were not strong enough to fly any farther, and he didn't exactly recall where he had been going in the first place. There was somewhere that he had wanted to go…NEEDED to go, but it didn't seem that he could get there. A sound caught his attention, and he listened to footsteps. If was a predator, he knew that he wasn't well enough to fight. He closed his eyes as it got closer, but instead of the claws and teeth he was expecting, a gentle touch at his back came.

Hakuryuu blinked and chirped weakly as he stared at the human. He had dark hair and green eyes with something strange over the right one. The expression on the human's face didn't look threatening, but Hakuryuu didn't know humans well enough to tell. The human made soft, kind noises that the dragon liked, and he was scooped up and wrapped in a warm cloth. From then on, he didn't feel that he had to go anywhere…unless it was to be with Master.

The dragon sighed, and stared at Master. Would things ever be the same again?