Let Me Fall Chapter 2, an instant star fanfic

Let Me Fall
By: Haruka-chan

AN: I don't think I put up a disclaimer last time, but I don't own Instant Star or any of the songs used in this fic. Anyways so I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as well.

Chapter 2: Can't Get Rid of Me

They sat in the back patio with a guitar and sheet music. Tommy watched as she absently strokes the guitar strings, how many times has he seen her yet he still he couldn't get over it. He smiled almost as absently as she was at this very moment; he almost laughed recalling when he first met her to now. She was already so much wiser then he was.

"Sometimes we can't take what we want." He muttered.

"That's what desire is Quincy, you wouldn't want to take it if you didn't want it first. What's the point of living if you don't do what makes you happy? But I know that if it involves someone else you need sacrifice some things." She said as she placed the guitar down and looked at him, hands folded on her knees.

Tommy sighed, why anything couldn't ever go good when he need for it to? "Jude me wanting to quit is personal, I mean it's just I feel as if something is missing in my life and I want to find it."

Jude stared him down, finding that he was indeed telling the truth. She finally sighed and looked to the ground, "your not gonna get rid of me that easy Quincy, don't think this is pursuing but I really think I made it this far because of you."

Not what he wanted to hear after the whole not getting rid of her, but he'll take anything over her getting over him as if he was a simple crush. "Jude you're going to start touring soon. Your first CD is complete. I'm telling you Georgia will find you an amazing producer and he's going to be kick ass."

Jude actually laughed at that one, "Quincy who are you trying to fool? I know you remember. There is no way you are convinced that there is someone out there better then you."

She did know him he realized smiling as she subdued her giggled, "Okay let's just go over that girl."

"You said you didn't need me but you did
You said you didn't want me. but you do
It's kinda like a comedy
First you kiss me and then say we're through"

Tommy thought about the night of her sixteenth birthday; that kiss. God what was he thinking he asked himself over and over again, but the answer was he needed her to see that he wasn't immune from the Jude Harrison charms. He just god she looked so broken and he would have done anything to make things better, but he made them worse. This song was her part in dealing with having her heart broken by him.

Jude smiled when she heard him humming along with her, the song was already on its way to becoming a CD with her face and name on it. She could hardly believe all that she was getting and all that she was losing as well. This really was the ride of her life.

"I say you've got some issues, yeah you do
Some things you gotta work through, you really do
It's sorta like a talk show
No wait, a freak show when the freak is you"

Sadie excused herself from the kitchen where she was helping Michael clean up while Jude and Tommy worked. But after ten minutes she excused herself and stood by the patio door, she stayed mostly out of sight. Should she be jealous? No because Tommy was with her, even with the knowledge that her sister wanted to be more then just a friend to him. But she deserved a little more then what she's been getting for the past year.

"I'm the smoke from your fire
I'm that guy you can trust
I'm a chord on your guitar
I'm that girl you can't shut up
I'm the blood you might need
In your car when you speed
In that cigarette you breathe
You can't get rid of me"

Now watching them, she felt as if she didn't quiet fit in their world. She was good at a lot of things but singing wasn't her strongest points, and now she wished she had that more then anything. Jude stopped and looked at him, where Tommy had his eyes closed humming to the song. He cracked one eye and looked at her.

"Why did you stop?"

"What's missing Quincy?"

Tommy sighed, "I knew that you'd wonder about it if I told you."

Jude snorted, "I think I have a right to know, don't you."

"No, you don't. I don't think I have to share that with you, this is just like how I wouldn't ask you if you felt the same when you kissed Shay." Tommy was an idiot and slowly he was proving that to himself.

"You said I wasn't funny when you laughed
You said I couldn't drive fast, then you crashed
Funny how it works out with your big mouth
You'll always get it back"

She started again, how could he ask her something like that, of course his kiss meant more, of course his kiss sent her up in space, but Shay was also who gave her the very first kiss she's ever had.

"Jude, do you see how personal that question is?" he asked as she manipulated her fingers back and forth for the cords which made up That Girl. "Why do we always get into this Jude?"

"You thought you had me worked out, you're not deep
Mr. I screw about, you're still a creep
At best you could've confessed that you're a big mess
And that you're so damn weak"

Trouble at paradise it seemed, and god it was wrong for her to be glad that they were so messed up in their relationship. Sadie realized that she didn't ever want a guy as much as she wants Tommy. This was battle of who wins, but the question who was really winning here? And would she be a sore loser.

Tommy sat back and waited until the she finished the song which spoke volumes about their relationship. He was really in a pit and it was time to get out and over it. But the problem was that if he did then Jude wouldn't be part of the better and cleaner version of him.

She was angry, so very angry, why do they get in to this? Because he always drags her in. asking questions that hurt her, doing and saying contradicting things. God she wished that he would just for once realize what it is that he really wants and act on it. and suddenly the realization hit her.

"And still I try and justify
Try and let this die, you'll never say goodbye
I can't quite rub it in your face
Just in three more days I'll send you home to cry"

Her face was in deep concentration as she sang the instrumental, and he joined her as she played the chorus on the guitar the whole song was great because of that part towards the end, the part that they made over cheese cake and coke.

"I'm the blood you might need
In your car when you speed
In that cigarette you breathe
You can't get rid of me"

The last verse and they continued with their duo instrumental, their eyes locking as she finished the last line.

"Can't get rid of me"

"I don't want to." He answered.

"He was my first kiss Tommy, so no matter what he'll always mean something, but if your going to sit there and ask me what I felt for those two seconds in that rainy alley, I'll have to say I was flying and while I was being grounded all at once." Jude said as she placed the guitar next to the chair.

"I know what you mean, but-"

Jude shook her head, "NO! Don't bother, I promised myself that I was going to be a grown up about this, so if you don't want to tell me then that's fine."

Sadie was confused now; she had no idea what they were talking about, probably another secret that only they knew about. But now she had a right to know as well, she was his girlfriend after all. She made up her mind that she would ask him that is trip was going to make them a real couple.

"I'll accept it Tommy, and I'm sorry again for asking." She stood with her guitar. "We're done right I mean we went over that song."

Tommy found that his anger was running short, "why so you can run off and be with Michael."

"Yeah!" and with that she was off.

'God! I'm a loser' he thought as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration totally missing that Sadie stood in front of him.

Michael's cooking was going to be her down fall, they sat on the hill top which looked over the many other houses and trees and looked on to the road, and the lake. His olive dish was her latest obsession as she popped another one of the olives into her mouth.

He smiled, "I can see why Tom is all unhinged by you."

Jude looked away, "what you mean?"

Michael sighed, "When tom and I met we were seventeen, it was by chance that we know each other really. He was doing a commercial and I just happen to be there also, I was working for Madame Gabon come to think of it. We started to talk and hit off well, I was there when he broke off with his band mates, when his marriage to Ashley failed. And when his solo career was shot to hell."

Now this was stuff she never knew about him, "Solo?"

Michael nodded, "He was working with a man name Deres or something like that. But in the end the demo wasn't finished and Deres took it away from him. I know that was the biggest fall for Tom. Ashley he got over, he came to the terms with that fact that she wasn't the one he felt inspired by, he didn't love her."

Jude sat and listened as Michael told her about a Tommy she never knew, never thought to inquire about. She felt her heart breaking in hearing all that. Her mind working fast she thought back to when Deres cornered her about her album release and that he wanted to manage her, she really wasn't sure about it, but now she had something that he wanted and he had something she wanted.

She smiled at Michael and threw her arms around him, "Grazie Michael for telling me all that."

It was at that moment that Tommy and Sadie came across the hill to join them, Tommy felt his throat dry at the sight of her hugging another man. His fist balled involuntarily. He counted to ten and then made his way towards them.

"Hey!" she seemed happier then when she left the patio.

He said nothing as he took a seat next to her on the blanket, her breath smelled of olives and spices, it actually was a more enticing smell then Michael's cooking he found. It was moments like this that he wanted to kiss her, make her see just how much passion she had running through his veins. "Hey."

Jude knew from the moment she saw Tom Quincy that he was going to change her life, and she was right. And it was time that she repaid him for the great things he did for her instead of sulking over what didn't happen. "So Michael and I been talking about some of his earlier jobs."

Sadie smiled as she sat adjacent to Tommy and across from Jude and Michael. Something was happening between Michael and her sister she knew this, now the question was what really was happening, if Jude was out of the picture in Tommy's romantic life then everything would be perfect. "Really? Did Michael charm you with his great jobs?"

Jude rolled her eyes and smiled, "he did so much more then that." She looked at Michael who smiled back at her and shrug.

"I'm no Tom Quincy but I think I can say that I have the Italian charm." He laughed as Jude shoved him playfully.

Tommy suddenly wasn't enjoying his stay here at all, in all the time other times he came here to relax things always seemed much more clear and simple. But now he had nothing, actually now he was more confused than anything. He picked one of Jude's olives absently and popped it into his mouth.

"Hey that was mine." She whined.

That brought a smile to his lips and he reach for another one, "I think Michael made it for everyone and I don't see Jude written on any of these do you?"

"God Quincy that was so fourth grade, of course they don't have my name one it, but that plate was mine, so those olives in your mouth now are mine." She huffed.

Michael laughed and Sadie giggled at little at their show of immaturity. Soon Jude joined them and Tommy couldn't help but chuckle, it was funny how the one who caused you to lose sleep at night was also the one who held up mirth in you.

It was small realization of what we know to be true that brings us the answers we seek ultimately, and he knew one thing for sure. He couldn't stay away from Jude; he couldn't see his life now without her in it in some way. That scared him more then anything that a sixteen year old girl held such power over him without evening knowing that she did.

Michael watched as Tommy stood with his hand buried in his pocket, looking over the city below. He had seen his friend in both his best and worst, and knew when something was troubling him. "You know here in Italy we gain our right at fourteen and to drink at sixteen."

Tommy snorted, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I know that she makes you this crazy, and I can see the passion which lie with in your gaze. I'm not stupid Tom; I had my fair share of women too." Michael sighed as he lit a cigarette.

"How many of them were sixteen?" he asked looking at him with a smile. "I have no morals at all!"

"No? I don't think it's wrong to want something which is almost rear as Jude. I would grab her and hold on, everyone else could go fuck themselves."

This was probably the first time in a long time Tom heard Michael curse. "I made a choice and I should stick to it."

"Can't stick to a choice that doesn't suite your heart. She's not as young as you make her to be. While you're here this is your chance. But remember that your hurting more then yourself." Michael breathed out the cigarette smoke. "Sadie isn't stupid but she is blind to her own bliss. Just like you are."

"My bliss? What is that?" Tommy scoffed.

Michael chuckled, "that girl cares for you very much."

"Yeah that would be the reason why she's all over you." There now it was out in the open.

"Well you don't leave her much of a choice if her sister is your girlfriend." Michael gave a sheepish smiled and shrugged, "and she's charming."

Tommy sighed and turned away from the view and looked at Michael, he looks so much older and wiser then before, Michael always smoked one cigarette a week, and this must be the time. "So you still haven't quit."

Michael laughed, "didn't find a need to, I don't think I wanted to quit as much as everyone wanted me to, so I stick to my routine one smoke a week."

Tommy smiled, "I forgot that you always seemed wiser after a smoke."

"No I just know more about living my life then you do. What is it that you want Tom? Do you know what makes your heart beat as fast as when you drive your viper at full speed? It's all about metaphors, find one that you can more to." More smoke escaped him as he looked up at the sky. "Live today, map out who you want to be by the choices you make."

"Good philosophy doesn't apply to most of us." Tommy sighed, "I know that I need to get away from her for a while, figure out what I want to do with this ever growing need that I have."

Jude saw then talking from the kitchen window, she wondered what they were discussing, they looked so serious, deciding she needed some advice she sought Michael. Stepping out on to the patio she saw that now Tommy was facing her, she waved and pointed to Michael.

And with that Tommy was back to seeing Michael as a potential lover for Jude, "Look speak of the devil, I guess she wants you."

Michael chuckled, "you're as young as the day I met you," he said as he turned to face Jude. "Hello, come join us."

Jude nodded as she raced towards them and smiled, "hey I was wondering if I could talk to Michael for a minute about something."

"Sure tesoro anything that you need," said Michael as he looked towards Tommy who pretended to be indifferent.

"Tesoro? Treasure?" asked Jude as her cheeks grew pink. When Michael nodded she squealed, "Oh I am so kicking ass in Italian."

"What did you want to tell me?" asked Michael.

"Something personal, so Tommy I'm going to borrow him for like five minutes." Jude said as she took Michael's hand and pulled him away.

That night she couldn't sleep so she decided she needed a snack and that was what made her stumble on to Tommy who was sitting with a glass of wine. He looked up and he looked so lost that suddenly she felt lost as well. It was a natural reaction for her to feel lost when he was lost.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked as she slowly came towards him whispering not to wake anyone though she knew that no one would hear them. But something about seeing Tommy this late at night made her feel naughty. She would have laughed but this wasn't the time for it.

"What are you doing up?" he asked and he took another sip.

"I couldn't sleep thought I'd eat some of the left over, I'm going to get so fat if I keep eating Michael's cooking." She said trying to lighten the mood.

"Is that how easy it is for you?" he asked, "can you really just move from one guy to the next without a second glance."

Jude froze in front of the counter, staring at him in disbelief. "I can't believe you would think that let alone say it to me. It's not my fault that you guys flirt and want me for a couple of days then move on to other around me. I guess I'm just not worth the wait right?"

Tommy stood his angry burning in his eyes, but she wasn't going to back down. She was too stubborn and sometimes that was admirable but right now Tommy wanted to break her like she broke him. "Don't play that game with me again Jude. I have to wonder if you even care about it. I mean doesn't take you long to crush on some guy now does it?"

Jude rolled her eyes and was about to turn away from him when he grabbed her arms and turned her around at the same moment he flicked the lights off. Now they stood is complete darkness, and Jude could feel her heart race with excitement and some fear.

"Tommy if this is about Shay-"

"I want to hate you so bad, but-ah god." He looked away from her, his hands gripping her arms tighter.

"Tommy you're hurting me!" whined Jude, "Tommy what's gotten into you."

"This Jude!" and with that he kissed her hard.

"Can't get rid of me…"

TBC

AN: I know this chapter wasn't the best but I will try my hardest to make the next one better. I'm also moving fast but there is a lot I want to cover. Thank you all who read it, please review and tell me what you think.

Translations:

Grazie- Thank you

Tesoro-Treasure