Time to Say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Author's Note: Well my brother, the Donatello in our family seems to have vastly improved some of the problems with our computer, but we still need to get a new one. Hopefully won't be too long of a wait either. In the meantime I will try to bring you this chapter. Ramica

Chapter Four: Regrets.

Rama only slept an hour or two, she knew if things went as planned April and Casey ought to be arriving with the transports soon so the family could leave before the roads in the city got too busy.

She went into the kitchen to make coffee for the adults, breakfast would be simple and quick, they'd pick up doughnuts or something on the way out of New York, suddenly Rama thought she heard the front door closing, the sound was soft but unmistakable and she went to check on who was sneaking in or out of the lair, the entire family had to be here when the time came to leave.

She saw Kali slipping off towards the bedrooms and cleared her throat " Just where were you?" Rama whispered.

Kali jumped around and saw her older cousin; she grimaced and shifted nervously from foot to foot as she tried to come up with an explanation.

Rama huffed slightly, " Kali this is not the time to go causing trouble by sneaking out to see your boyfriend." Rama smirked " I 'd expect your brother to sneak out" she grinned a little " but if he is meeting a boyfriend we are in big trouble."

Kali gasped, " How do you know about Mark, I…" she began.

Rama gave the girl a knowing look, " Kali I have to look out for you, all of you. Of course I know about him." Rama declared then gestured to the yellow rose in her hand, " I can also guess that you didn't get that for yourself."

" No I just wanted to say goodbye to him, explain we would be gone for a few days and why." Kali explained with a little shrug. " He said he wanted to see me before I left. He gave me the rose and a card."

" You shouldn't be telling outsiders too much about our moves or what we do Kali, it could lead to danger." Rama chastised the girl gently, " You know that."

" I'm suppose to just ignore Mark then, and let him worry about me Ramiela?" Kali challenged.

" No, just be careful. You know if you are serious about him you really ought to get your father's approval to date him." Rama hinted.

" Do you have your father's approval to be with Devon?" Kali shot back.

" I don't know if he totally approves, I mean Devon is a Raph child." Rama smiled and ducked her head, then in a wistful way concluded " But Splinter and your father didn't seem too concerned with it. I recall Splinter speaking so approvingly of the fact Devon was jonin as well, what a good match it was." Rama sniffed a bit. " Besides you won't be able to keep Mark from Sen…I mean Master Leonardo for much longer. With, this" Rama gestured vaguely, "Well he might not know right off."

Kali sighed miserably " What will dad think though? I know how he feels about us being too open with people from topside, but Mark is very nice and kind. He has never done anything to make me doubt him or be suspicious."

Rama smiled, " I've seen him and I have no problems with him. A quick mental probe told me he wasn't hiding anything dangerous. Plus I know you have good instincts for that kind of thing" Rama admitted, " I think it comes from keeping tabs on your unruly older brother." She gave a small smile; " Since you are up, help me get the little ones ready."

" All right, but you won't tell will you?" Kali pleaded.

" Of course not, I mean if I thought this boy was dangerous I would have told your father long ago." Rama replied.

….

Of course the family had divided up into two groups one for each RV and arrangements had been made to meet at separate locations, one RV was driven by April the other by Casey and then the two of them would come up to the farm with their three children in the van. Being old friends of the family, April and Casey also wanted to be at the funeral.

Such as it was, for it was to be no more then a simple burial out at the farm, as soon as possible upon arriving. They also planned to plant a Japanese cherry tree near the grave, for the flower of the cherry tree was called Sakura, and was the national flower of Japan.

They could not exactly take the Master to Japan to bury him there, but they could do what they could on the farm to link the two countries.

Rama felt that a fountain and bench might also be fitting and perhaps a meditative Zen garden, somewhere around there too. All of it would connect them to their roots and the country that Splinter had once come from.

For a moment she recalled the gardens of Leo's ryu in Japan perhaps the thought of the upcoming burial brought it to mind, she didn't know, but she wished she could see it again. It had been very peaceful.

Her father and uncles had never been to Japan, but Rama did hope that one day her entire family could travel to Japan to see the beauty of it. Do it as a pilgrimage, or homage to the old Master.

Thinking about Japan and the other Leo's ryu, caused Rama to recall her special katanas, the ones with the embossed jade hilts that she had brought with her from Devon's world and she hurried to fetch them so that she could use them over the next few days for she was sure, her, Leo would have a few ceremonies to honour the ninja master and she wanted the best katanas she owned for that purpose.

So she had her ceremonial katanas with her, when she left the lair in the group that was assigned to the RV on the South side of Central Park, her group consisted of her dad, Cathy, Uncle Raph and Aunt Sara and all the little children, that meant Jacob, Kaida, Tiffany, Tyler and Tessica. Plus Aiden and Kaliann as it was up to the two fourteen year olds and Rama to keep track and amuse the little ones over the long trip.

Leo, Karena, Don and Jen with the older children and Splinter's body would be going in the other RV on the east side of Central Park.

Travelling in the RV with the shades drawn, the little children quickly grew bored, and antsy to get out to the farm, nor did they care to be told to leave the shades down and stop peeking under or around them.

Normally the farm was a fun place and while the younger children were looking forward to being there, especially as the entire family would be there for a change, the children's mood was a bit sombre as if they realized, that this time, the farm would not be fun and games for all of them.

April had put in a few board games and card games into the RV, plus there was a television and DVD player which, helped matters.

For lunch Rama prepared sandwiches and juice while sitting at the table then passed them around to all who wanted the refreshments.

Still it was a very long trip, and everyone was pleased to see the old farm come into sight, scrambling out of the two RV's to gaze up at the warm sun overhead, somehow it seemed so wrong to have the bright orb there.

Leo looked at his brothers, then all the wives, " Why don't you girls go work on the house. We'll" he gestured to his brothers, " Find a suitable spot for the internment."

Cathy nodded, " Good idea." She mumbled, knowing full well that finding a spot also meant long gritty work for the boys.

Rama looked towards her uncles, " Could I please, come. I think I rather help you then houseclean." She pleaded gently.

Leo smiled, " If you want to Ramiela."

She nodded " I do thanks."

Kali shook her head, " I'd rather houseclean or watch the kids." She muttered to her brother.

Aiden nodded in silent agreement.

…

The family walked in silence the loss of the Master, and the coming deed affecting each of them in their own way. No one felt willing to break in, or disturb another's thoughts, yet at the same time none of them seemed to be reaching out to the others either.

Rama wanted to respect that silence, yet a part of her hated it, because it seemed to be pushing them apart, making all of them stray on their own paths. They were all family and as such she felt they ought to be able to give voice or something to what they were feeling. Give voice to it and let it go, but they were all so trapped within their own hurt and pain they didn't seem to want to reach out or help another.

Grief was painful, it weighed a person down, but a grief that was shared could make it less troublesome.

She silently debated the pros and cons of speaking her thoughts aloud, as if by doing so, she would break some unspoken rule.

Finally, as she followed after Leo, behind the farmhouse and into the grassy meadow, that may have been home to a few cows long before Rama was born or even thought of for that matter, she found herself talking.

" It hurts not having Master Splinter, it hurts thinking about him. It just aches and gnaws at me. I remember when I was over in the other world, I wanted to see Splinter I was hoping, he would be able to tell me how I could get back home." She stated casually, pulling some seeds off a long stalk of grass. " I didn't stop to think with the turtles there being so much older that he would be gone. Before the Leo of that world, told me what happened, I sort of realized the truth."

Leo turned to look at his niece listening carefully.

" Then, when I felt that Don had died it hit me that I really didn't know him at all. My own Uncle, at that point was really, in many ways was a stranger to me, because we always seemed so at odds with one another." Rama admitted.

Don came up and draped an arm around the girl's shoulder giving her a one armed hug. She looked up at him.

" I don't know if I ever told you, but I am sorry for the way I acted as a kid. I just wanted you to lighten up and have some fun. To play with me but you took things so seriously. Course it is the way you are. If you hadn't changed by now" Rama sighed, " Then I guess you never will. I wanted to meet you on my terms in my way. It wasn't to be. For you had something far more valuable to give me. Thanks for doing so, and for sticking to it even when I made things so difficult."

Don smiled at her " I'm just glad we have reached an understanding in the past year Ramiela."

" If we had it years ago though we might know each other better, or never had the difficulties to begin with." Rama pointed out.

Leo nodded " True, but life is for learning not regretting what has been. Life is forever changing and moving on" he insisted. " We must move with it or lose step."

Silently he hoped she would accept these words now for he knew when the time came to tell her his decision she would not take it well. He knew that, simply because he was very aware of his chunin's talents, and skills. As well as her faults and behaviours, he knew she was likely to fight and resist his command on this matter.

Leo was fully aware of how easy it was for Ramiela to react over acting it was something she was getting better at doing as she matured, and her time on the time she spent on that alternate world had done wonders, but there were still times when she would seem to forget. ' Old habits.' Leo mused, ' truly do die hard.'

Leo was willing to put off letting Rama know his decision now, but tomorrow after the funeral perhaps in the evening, he would let her know that she was not to use her teleporting skills to see Devon.

Raph glanced around, " How about near the forest and the stream, Leo?"

" You mean the spot, close to where he used to meditate?" Leo asked.

" Yeah. He spent a lot of time there I just thought it …" Raph paused shrugging and lapsing into silence.

" It will be fitting, and as good as spot as any." Leo agreed as they turned almost as one heading in the direction of the trees and the small stream, where Splinter had spend so many hours deep in thought.

Mike trudged quietly behind his other brothers, he didn't want to be a part of the whole grave digging process, and he didn't want to think of his Master, his father, in the cold hard ground. Their mentor deserved something better.

Personally the thought of the things in the ground that might end up aiding in their Master's final and true end was disturbing. So Mike only half listened as he tried to brace himself to help in the task he all ready detested.
To Mike's mind and way of thinking nothing could make this part any better or easier for that matter.

Raph glanced over his shoulder at Rama and Don, while he had always been Rama' favourite uncle, he had a feeling that Don was no longer the bottom of the rung. " Why all this talk about that other place now Ramiela?" he wondered aloud.

" Maybe because it was there that I learned the time to appreciate who you have and what you have is while you still have those things or people around, you know. Then you don't have to regret it so much" Rama spoke hesitantly. " I knew when I came back home it was so good to see Uncle Donatello and Splinter. I didn't know what time I might have left, but I didn't want to throw it away either" she finished meekly as she turned away, to wipe a stray tear from her eyes.

" That is a good lesson to learn Rama" Mike admitted as they came to the spot, he blanched a little, looking nervously about.

Leo sidled over to him to rest a reassuring hand on Mike's shoulder. " He was our father Mike, we have the right to lay him at peace, in a place that is fitting to him."

Mike mumbled something in reply but Leo hadn't heard the words, he wondered if he ought to take Mike aside and talk to him, or as they had the night before let Mike go, for Leo knew there were limits, and certain things that he could not ask of his brothers.

Of course while he couldn't ask them, Leo also felt it would be wrong for him to shirk the deed. He would not ask the others to do a task that he could not do, so many times through the years, Leo had done things, not because he truly wanted to but as a means of showing the way to the others.

Raph looked over and then gestured to Don whispering something to his brother.

" Leo, we might as well work in shifts, why don't you, Ramiela and I start?" Don suggested.

Rama gave a weak grin and trembled, " Sounds like a plan."

Leo smiled a bit at Ramiela's response he knew she didn't want to be there and yet she was determined to see it through and help. She would in her time be a good leader, just for that alone. " All right." He agreed.

…

Raph and Mike headed off into the woods, " What's the matter Mike?"

" I wish we didn't have to bury him, like that, you know?" Mike muttered as he gestured vaguely back the way they had come, " I mean you bury an animal in the ground with not much preliminaries or fuss. That is okay but this is" Mike paused shaking his head, " Is our father he deserves more then to just be put into a hole and the dirt covering him. He should have a coffin or something, else." Mike insisted flustered.

Raph nodded, " I agree Mike. He does deserve better, but we can't afford a coffin, that is why we bought the cherry tree." Raph reminded his brother. " So it wouldn't seem so, cold."

" I know. It just seems so wrong Raph!" Mike yelled in sudden frustration, " I've never regretted what I am until now. For once I want to be treated like a human so our master, our father can be laid to rest like one." There was a bitter longing tone to Mike's words that Raph fully recognized.

Raph sighed he though of his own failure, from the other night, true his wife hadn't considered it failure on his part, but he felt that way, even now. It seemed so often in his youth he had felt a failure before his father.

That he could never be everything Splinter had expected or hoped, and yet his father had never rejected him. Due to that Raph fully sympathised with Mike's declaration, that Splinter deserved better then being buried without any thing else.

" You know Mike we might be able to do something about that." Raph suggested, " There is an old pile of lumber in the barn, if we can haul it and some other stuff down here later, maybe we can fix something up." Raph hinted, " We ought to be far enough away from the house and barn so it won't disturb any one while they sleep."

Mike grinned a bit it was a small weak grin, but it was a grin nonetheless " You and I aren't known for fixing or building things."

" No but we can do it Mike. If you want, I mean, together we ought to be able to make a suitable coffin, maybe not the greatest but it will be better then nothing." Raphael concluded, ' I might have regrets about the way I acted all these years, but I refuse to regret giving a final gift to my father, cause damn, he deserves it!' Raph told himself ruefully.

Mike nodded " You promise Raph?"

" Yeah and just think of what the family will say, though we might have to adjust the hole a bit too." Raph warned.

"I'm game Raph." Mike stated firmly. " Tonight we do it!"

Raph clasped Mike's hand in his as they sealed the agreement; they had but one night to do it, for come morning Splinter would be buried.

TBC

Mikaela's Spade: Too tenacious of a writer at times. Elegantly sad, very fitting for this story with its angst on top of angst. A gratitude for your insight.

Digimon Girl: So glad you enjoyed it. A gratitude for your insight.

Chibi Rose Angel: My sounds very touching that part in the anime. As for Rama's fit well stay tuned for that it is coming like a dark cloud brings the rain. A gratitude for your insight.

Pretender Fanatic: Glad that you and I share that theory, when I put it in I didn't know if anyone would understand it. However I have long maintained that, that is precisely why Splinter speaks the way he does. As for Rama who knows what she will do or when. A gratitude for your insight.

Lunar Ninja: No I won't try ousting you I have seen some of the things you, Chibi and who is it Pretender? Have going on with meadows and dungeons and the like. However when I leave on vacation I just might send Rama to live with you. Rama: Just try it Ramica. I get to go on your vacation. I know you are planning to go to the big fair. Me: There is no way to keep a secret from that impossible child. A gratitude for your insight.

Reinbeauchaser: You think Leo will be protective, hmm possible he is a father and some fathers can get very protective of their little princesses. Personally I pity Leo far more as he is going have to deal with an upset Rama. Well here is one more chapter and I am hoping to get at least two more up before I go on vacation. A gratitude for your insight