ANPsquare, and Badluck-ngprod, All of my research came through experience with someone very dear to me, but I do thank you for your reviews and suggestions. And as always, love and kissesto Aimless for being my beta.

Chapter 9: The Darkened Path

Hakkai felt like screaming. He felt like destroying everything that he touched, and crying out at the top of his lungs. The frustration was eating him alive. It hadn't stopped since the day he woke up over a month ago. His hands shook sometimes from all of the swirling turmoil caught within him. He spent his days doing nothing, but depending on Goku and Houmei. The few times he had tried to do anything he had been swiftly ushered away to a chair or his room. If things didn't change, he would go crazy.

Sounds drifted through the halls of the inn like smoke through the air. He could hear Goku and the girls playing in the next room over. Houmei was singing in the kitchen. He paused a minute trying to place the tune, but he couldn't. Trying to conjure up an image of the kitchen, Hakkai decided that it was time he left his room for the day.

By now, Hakkai had taught himself the way to the kitchen. He knew his room well enough that he rarely bumped into anything, and the hallway was usually empty. Outside the door, he ran his fingers along the textured wall until he reached the corner. Here was where things became tricky. Things were always being moved, and there was always something going on. Houmei's singing stopped and he heard the gentle splash of water. "Hello," she said cheerily.

He forced a smile. "Hello. Are you doing dishes?"

"Yes, there was quite a pile from lunch."

"Oh, I could help you with them," he offered.

"You don't need to worry about that," she rushed. There was that pity in her voice again.

Yes, I do, he raged silently. I need to do something. Anything! "I'm sure I can at least dry them for you."

She sighed loudly, and led him to the sink counter. "Alright. You can just set them down in front of you."

He took the towel she pressed into his hands, and dried the dishes as she gave them to him. It was such a relief to be useful…even if it was in some very small way. It gave him something else to think about besides how utterly pathetic he had become. "

"What were you singing?" he asked.

She hummed a few bars for him. "You've never heard that lullaby before?" she asked incredulously.

Hakkai shook his head.

"I sang it to Mayu and Taka when they were babies."

A real smile came to Hakkai's face. It was odd to really smile again. He had thought Houmei was acting strange lately. "Does Goku know yet?"

Houmei gasped. "How did you know?"

"I heard you these past few morningings, when you were….ah…not so well."

The woman beside him laughed. "Well, I was planning on telling him soon."

"I'm very happy for you," he told her honestly.

"I just hope Goku's okay with it. You know how he was the last time, and I just don't know how we're going to keep up with three of them and do all the work for the inn." She was positively bubbling with happiness, and the longer she went on the more guilt Hakkai felt.

He was invading their lives. They had to look after him as if he were another child. He was so lost in his thoughts that the plate in his hands slipped right through and shattered on the floor. "I am so sorry!" He bent down to pick up the shards and sliced his hand. "DAMN IT!"

"Oh, Hakkai, let me do it. You've hurt yourself." She took his bleeding hand into hers and led him safely away from the broken glass. "It's deep."

He said nothing. It felt like his blood was boiling beneath his skin. His entire body was trembling, and a knot had formed in his throat. More than anything, he wanted to let it all out. Hakkai let her bandage his hand, and listened while she cleaned up his mess. This was not the life he wanted in any way, but when had his life ever been what he wanted? Without a word, he walked back to his room and shut the door.

"Hakkai?" Goku called gently from the outside the door. "Can I come in?"

"Do as you like."

"Are you alright?" he asked with a concerned note in his voice. There it was again—that damned pity!

"I'll be fine."

"You know, you really don't have to help out around here."

"Goku?"

"Yeah?"

"Please, leave."

Hakkai listened to the click of the door. If only Sanzo was here, he thought sadly. Sanzo had visited him every day before he left. The monk was the only one who didn't pity him, or at least he was better at hiding it, if he did. An image of the stoic-faced monk appeared in his mind. It was funny, he even missed seeing Sanzo. He fell on the bed, and drifted into a dreamless sleep.

There was a harsh knock at his door, and it jarred him from the peaceful abyss. "Cho Hakkai, if you are sleeping in there, I suggest you wake up and meet me in the kitchen." He didn't recognize that voice at all.

"Who are you and why should I?" he asked the voice irritably.

"I am Ryoko. From here on out, you are my student. You have five minutes, and then we begin."

Hakkai sat up straight in bed. This was so bizarre! "Begin what?"

"Begin teaching you how to be blind."

Hakkai heard a slight tapping in the hall, and he footsteps leading away. What was going on? Who was this man and where had he come from? More importantly, who did he think he was ordering him around? Once upon a time, he would have patiently sorted this out, but Hakkai had run out of patience completely.

He stretched out his hands in a hurried attempt to find his clothes, but couldn't recall what he had done with them the night before. He swore under his breath. Soft fabric brushed against his hands, but it felt way too long to be his pants. "Planning on wearing your sheets?" a dry voice asked from the now open door.

"Sanzo?"

"I'm back."

"Did you bring that man with you?" Hakkai asked scowling.

"I did," Sanzo answered curtly.

Hakkai's temper finally broke. "Who asked you to? Why are you always fucking with my life?"

"Because I can't stand to see you sit around whining and crying for the rest of your life. Here," Sanzo said pushing a shirt into Hakkai's bare chest. "I set your pants on the edge of the bed. We'll be waiting for you."