(A/N: HEYAS! Touya-no-Kogakure here! I've gotten a couple pleas for a JaxYa side fic, and I your authoress have heard your calls! And here is my answer; but be forewarned, this was written by my mad mind, so it wont be what your expectin'! Not at all sappy but there is definitely some yaoi here! But believe me, you'll like it! So go forth, all ye who enter here, and enjoy!)
"Hello. And welcome to Deviant Drama! The Talk Show where Jakotsu," (Jakotsu waves), "and me, Ayato Nakamura, answer the big questions. We'll take our first caller. Hello. This is Deviant Drama! You're on the air!" "Hi! My name is Niatash Vita! And my question is, what's the meaning of life?" "Oh that one's easy!" Jakotsu bragged, "It's--" there was a click and a long –booooooooooooooop- "Hello? Niatash? It seems we've been cut off." Ayato said. "Aww that's too bad!" Jakotsu said, looking a little downtrodden, "but Niatash Vita? If you're still listening? The meaning of life is—doughnuts!" "That's right! The delicious pastry treat!" Ayato chimed in. "Sweet, sugary and oh so delicious!" Jakotsu drooled. "Not to mention such variety!" Ayato sighed happily. There was a long pause as they daydreamed about doughnuts before snapping back to reality when the producer threw a sake bottle at Jakotsu which ricocheted off his head and hit Ayato.
"Oouch!" Jakotsu whined, rubbing the bump on his head, "Alrighty then! Moving on…" Ayato said, ignoring the blood running down his face, "Lets take our next caller. Hello! This is Deviant Drama! You're on the air!" "Hiyas! My name's Lena Silverwing! My question is, when did you and Jakotsu get together?" "I'll fill in that one, lover!" Jakotsu said in a seductive tone, making Ayato go bright red, "It all started in a beautiful day in spring." The screen begins to warp as a dream sequence starts, "Wha-Wha-WHAWAAWAAAA!" Ayato squealed as the distorting time space passed through his body, "The birds were tittering…butterflies flitting about…and corpses soaked in fresh blood were strewn everywhere…" Jakotsu clasped his hands together like a love-struck school girl and sighed dreamily. "That's not how it happened!" a voice called. Jakotsu looked around as his dream bubble went -poof- for the location of the voice. "Uh…um…howabout I take a crack at it?" Ayato said, clearing his throat, "It was a clear day in autumn…" yet another dream sequence kicked into action. "Hee hee hee! Hey! These things tickle!" Jakotsu giggled as the warps passed through him. "…the cicadas were chirping…the sweat was beading on a pitcher of iced tea nearby…and the sun was low in the sky…" Jakotsu eyes were starry as he turned chibi and leaned against Ayato, but this sappy moment was short lived as a stage light was hurled at the two, making a direct hit and lowering their HP to 45/100.
"LIIIIIAAAAARRRRS!" the voice cried again, it owner bounding forward and a bringing with it a familiar silhouette, "OKAY! THAT'S IT! If you two don't have the balls to tell the truth, then I'm commandeering this show!" "Ayane!" Ayato and Jakotsu cried as they were bound up by means of telekinesis. (J-Kwon's Tipsy starts playing loudly) A mike flew to our usurping announcer's hand as she enthusiastically cried, "YO E'ERYBODY UP IN HERR! PROPS TA' MY PEEPS! Emcee Ayane Nakamura here! Given ya th' low down on m' baby bro and his man ho'! Can I gedda YEEEEEEAAAA-YAAAAHHH!" she yelled. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAA-YAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" "Hey! HEY! WAIDDAMINUTE!" Ayato yelled, wiggling a little, "You can't possibly know what happen-" "Tut, tut, tut! Oh contraire! But I do!" Ayane said grinning evilly and she whirled around to face the audience, "AND I HAVE THIS EXCLUSIVE, RACY VIDEO FOOTAGE TO PROVE MY STORY TO THE LETTER!" she squealed, holding up the tape as the audience cheered. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ayato and Jakotsu shrieked. "YEESSSSSS!" Ayane cackled as she popped it into the VCR of a big screen projector.
"Let me take you back, if you will, to the night of our sleep over." Ayane began as the tape started, appearing on the screen, "A time of sugar highs…" Renkotsu downing a five pound bag of sugar, insanely running into the street, getting hit by a mini-van and continuing on his way, "A time of experimentation…" Bankotsu snorting meth, eyeing Suikotsu's ass, groping him and having the offending arm broken with a nearby armchair, "and a time of getting COMPLETELY HAMMERED!" The Shichinintai, Ayato and Ayane sprawled out on the floor, Ayane smirking in victory, even unconscious, "After the final two fell in glorious combat…" "It wasn't all that glorious..." Jakotsu piped up before a year old sweat sock, belonging to Richard Simmons, was shoved into his mouth, "...two, already fallen, rose again and surveyed the battle field, strewn with their fallen comrades…" "Drama queen…" Ayato muttered as a brick flew through the air and hit him the head.
Ayato opened his eyes woozily, gazing over his plowed friends and blitzed sister. He wondered why his thighs felt so heavily and lowered his drunken gaze to find Jakotsu, blacked out on his lap. "Jakotshu? 'ey! Jakotshu, wake up." he moaned, shaking him a little. The older man opened his eyes blearily and looked up at him drunkenly, "Geddoffame, Jakotshu. Yer 'eavy." Ayato said, his voice slurred from intoxication and his face filled with an inebriated flush. Jakotshu smiled drunkenly up at him, "Dun' wanna." He smirked, wrapping his arms around Ayato's neck, pushing him back against the floor, breaking a sake bottle in to process and cutting Ayato's cheek. "Oh!" Jakotsu cried, tears welling up in his eyes, "'m sho shorry!" he bent down and licked the cut, making Ayato turn seven shades of red. He pushed Jakotsu off him and stared at him through glazed eyes, "Wha'?" Jakotsu asked, "Wha' ish it?" "I looked ya over in th' bath. You'er hot." Ayato said in a serious tone that only being smashed can bring out. "You'er too. Hee hee!" Jakotsu snickered. Leaning forward a bit, Ayato whispered, "An' yeh know that kish we had 'n Shpin th' Bottle? Ah' liked it." "Me too!" Jakotsu's giggling became more wicked, "Wanna make it a two fer?" "Why na'?" Ayato shrugged, grabbing Jakotsu by the collar and planting a deep kiss on his lips before Jakotsu dragged them both to the floor.
The tape cut off their and there was a loud, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" "Sorry, everyone! But I hafta censor this part lest innocent minds be scarred! But I will tellya this," Ayane leaned forward, whispering, "It makes the Pamela AndersonxTommy Lee Sex Tape look-like-a-CHURCH! ANNNND after watching this tape in full...I went through and personally cleaned every room and falical object in the house!" (huge smile, big wink) "AYANE!" Ayato howled (regained consciousness). "HOW COULD YOU?" Jakotsu roared (spat out sock) "Hee hee! Well this has been Deviant Drama! I'm your Show-Jacking Emcee Ayane! Signin' out! Don't bother tunin' in next week cuz' I'll be on the run from these two! Bye!"
(A/N: Hee hee hee heeee-hee! This was a one time thing! Tune in next week for Chapter 18! R&R MAH PEEPS! 'M OUTTIE YO!)