Time to say Goodbye

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Chapter Eight: Woman to woman

Even with Mike's help it had taken them three tries to find Rama's hiding spot, Mike had cautiously warned Cathy to stay back while he inspected the area to insure that Rama was indeed there, before he returned to his wife.

"You sure you want to do this Cathy?" Mike asked softly upon his arrival back at her side. "From the way Rama is right now it really, might be better to leave her alone" he hedged.

He hadn't spoken to Rama and had done his absolute best to insure that she wasn't aware of him, but her body language spoke volumes, possibly she had sensed him, whether she had or hadn't her hunched shoulders and the complete air of misery told Mike that she wanted to be left alone, and woe to anyone who felt like disturbing her.

"Well if she doesn't want to talk maybe she will see fit to listen, Mike. I have to try." Cathy declared. "She ought to know a few things. Give me ten minutes with her alone if I haven't emerged, or been thrown out by then go home."

"Okay" Mike agreed, "Good luck Cath, you are going to need it hon" he gave her a quick peck on the cheek before going into the bush away to provide the privacy that the two would need.

Cathy meanwhile turned to the bush, some where in the middle of the bush was Rama, and about the only way to reach her was to get down almost on hands and knees, even then Cathy found that she made a great deal of noise as she bushed branches aside in her attempt to reach the girl, who was hidden somewhere in the foliage.

All the leaf rustling and branch snapping might cause Rama to bolt, escaping on a different side of the bush using ninja stealth, and Cathy was positive that if Rama truly wanted to be alone she would opt for that route, and if Rama did go that way then she would have to accept that for the step daughter didn't want any help.

As Cathy neared the centre of the bush she noticed it opened up, a leafy roof growing over head, more importantly Rama was sitting in the lotus position on the soft dirt ground, the girl had turned to face her, and Cathy noticed tear tracks on her face, her cheeks were dirty, probably caused by Rama wiping the tears off her face with her dirt caked hands. There was a sullen petulant look on her face.

"Nice place you have here, very quiet" Cathy approved.

Rama gave an indifferent shrug as if to say, it doesn't matter. "I knew it was you and dad." She took a deep breath, "But I'm not going back." She retorted, she raised her head and a hard determined look came to her eyes.

"Are you running away then?" Cathy wondered.

"I'm not running anywhere" Rama corrected, "running away is for little kids who don't know better. It doesn't work out because you can't escape what you want to run from. Besides I want to be with my family and with Devon too."

"Leo doesn't want you to be with Devon though and that hurts huh?" Cathy probed.

"He could ask me to lay down my life for those I love, to guard and protect them from any danger. I would do anything for him, except this." Rama stated morosely, "I've been meditating trying to reach Devon, I want to communicate with him and I don't plan on going back until I do reach him."

"Are you going to teleport to him if you reach him?" Cathy asked curiously, she knew that forbidden fruit was very tempting and knowing Leo's recent degree, she might decide to teleport just so she could see her betrothed again.

"No. I don't really want to disobey Master Leonardo he doesn't want me teleporting but he didn't say anything about mental communication. If I could reach him then maybe we could work something out between us." Rama explained.

Cathy smiled, trust Ramiela to find the loophole, Leo had told her to not use her teleporting skill to see Devon, he had not explicitly forbidden mental communication and if a portal was too open between the worlds Rama could argue that 'just because a door was there didn't mean she had to make use of it. A distinction that Leo may not care for, especially in his role of jonin, but one that he would have to permit, or decide that even that was not allowed thereby forbidding even that link. Either way he could not give a harsh punishment to the chunin when based on this loophole.

"No luck I take it huh?" Cathy inquired as she sat cross legged in front of Rama.

Ramiela gave a negative shake of her head and sniffed a bit "It might come yet though" she murmured, but something in Rama's tone told Cathy it was partly only wishful thinking on her part.

Cathy gave a smile "Hard part is making sure Leo doesn't find out your plans huh?"

"I won't teleport but he can't keep me from Devon. I love him and I refuse to give up on him." Ramiela responded quickly.

"I don't blame you from everything I have heard about this boy he is worth fighting for, and I bet you are willing to move heaven and Earth to be with him." Cathy assured her soothingly, "I hope I get a chance to meet him one day, for I know how special he is to you."

Rama smiled tentatively in reply, Cathy obviously didn't agree with Leo, but more importantly she knew how much Devon meant to her. That she would get over any obstacle to be with him for he was her beloved.

"Devon and I are engaged, I wouldn't have agreed to be his wife if I didn't intend to keep that" Rama said, "I have promised to be his, and he is mine. I mean to keep that promise, I don't break my promises. To do so would be wrong and dishonourable" Rama explained, "I have no intention of hurting Devon just because of a bit of danger involved in us being together. I live a rather dangerous life anyways."

Cathy reached over and cupped the girl's face in her hands; she didn't have to see that Rama was determined to keep her word. "I know you said before that Devon can't have a family with any one but you…" she began.

"Well, his sister Gaele might be able to change that eventually, but I wouldn't be with Devon just for that. I don't think of it as an obligation. I just feel that we were meant." Rama hurried to assure her step mom.

Cathy nodded "I know you wouldn't, you're not the type. So I don't doubt for one moment the feelings you have for Devon."

Rama felt comforted to know that someone at least understood where she was coming from, "I just want to be with him is that so bad?" she muttered.

"Of course it isn't and it is always hard to be away from the one's we love. Devon is very special to you everything you ever thought you wanted in a guy, but probably didn't realize it until you met him" Cathy sat back a bit, "lets see here, Devon understands your ninja heritage and why the ninja happen to do the things they do, being a future Jonin he also can understand the duties and sacrifices you have to make for your clan" Cathy ticked the points off on her fingers, "while you get along fairly well, his Raphael temperament means that there is always a bit of oh, tension or excitement in him that can cause arguments but making up after words could be fun."

Rama smirked and ducked her head.

"He is slightly dangerous with a biting sarcastic humour." Cathy continued.

Rama giggled, "I don't know why you want to meet him you seem to know him all ready."

Cathy grinned, "Let's not forget the ability to irritate the hell out of your father, a prerequisite I think for you" Cathy concluded.

"All that and more" Rama agreed.

Cathy nodded her face turned serious and sympathetic, "I'm sorry Leo decided to do this to you, he could have found a better way, or a more appropriate time of breaking the news to you, even if he did feel that this was the necessary way to go. Putting you on the spot and making you feel like you have to choose between two things you love, the most." She commiserated.

"Romeo and Juliet didn't stop being together even when it was forbidden." Rama pointed out.

"I don't want that sort of ending for you that they had, much as you love him dying for loss of him wouldn't make things easier." Cathy reminded them.

Rama gave a humble nod of her head "Seppuku must be honourable or else it defeats the purposes."

Cathy gave a shake of her head "Always the ninja" she murmured.

"A ninja is nothing without honour" Rama insisted with a proud tilt to her head, "But ninja must love too, for in love the ninja finds the reason to fight for honour. So that when a ninja fights he always fights to protect that which he loves, whether it is his home, his family or something special and sacred to him."

Cathy sighed, "Rama a ninja is taught many things. You have learned that many things in life happen for a reason, sometimes we might know what the reason is, other times we might not learn it until years later" Cathy hinted, "So what if meeting Devon was a chance thing, and it happened for a reason you might not understand as of yet."

Rama's eyes grew hard at Cathy's gentle speculative words, "You think I won't be able to connect with Devon again, even mentally?" she accused.

"No, I am just saying that it might be possible, personally for your sake because you do love him, I hope you can reach him." Cathy hasted to assure the girl, " Hypothetically, though it is just as possible that certain elements might have to be in order to make the connection between the two worlds, perhaps these elements only happen at certain times of the year, you know like eclipses, or comet trajectories or planetary alignments only come at specific times."

Rama sighed, she had often thought of that herself, not that she ever would say it aloud, but for all the times she had tried to reach him, the numerous failures she just had to wonder about it, even if it was only a tiny pricking at the back of her mind.

"We won't know until we try" she said.

"True, but do you really believe that?" Cathy pressed gently, "I mean far as I know you have only reached Devon twice since coming home, both times were around the time of your return. That is why I am starting to believe it happened for a reason, your meeting was perhaps kismet." Cathy explained, "Any idea you can think of to make that meeting worthwhile?"

Rama nodded casually, "I got to see that we could live a different life, life topside and as our family grows what learned there might be useful here. We can be accepted topside for the most part, but we can't forget who we are and we have to maintain our ninjitsu for those times when it may be necessary to use."

"Yes, very important and I am sure they learned something from you too. Such as to take pride in their ninja heritage, and how lucky they are to have all the things they do. They might have taken advantage of their wealth and power before, but you were a reminder of who they once were, and what they could be." Cathy said.

Rama grinned, "Heck of a wake up call huh?"

"Falling in love, being in love I think was an added bonus, perhaps it helped to show you, exactly what you do want in a guy, that you aren't that different that you will never have anyone to love you in that way." Cathy informed her.

Rama scowled visibly, "But if you are right about that, then it means I may never see Devon again, no matter what I may want." Rama realized, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

"It is possible" Cathy stated casually," But I could be wrong, I just want you to think about it. Consider the pros and the cons of possibly reaching Devon again." Cathy paused, "I have no doubt you can get past Leo's restrictions and that you would take what ever repercussions come from it, but even if I am wrong and you can connect with Devon what then?"

Rama's face scrunched up "What do you mean?" She asked in puzzlement.

"Well what could happen if you could visit each other?" Cathy inquired simply.

"Easy we'd get married and we'd be together when ever we got the chance to." Rama answered a warm glow in her eyes at the mere thought.

"Of course a beautiful wedding, but both of you are future jonins and needed to be the jonin for your clans, which means your time together might be rather limited" Cathy said delicately pointing out the obvious.

"I know that so does Devon but we can work it out between us." Rama insisted.

"True all couples have certain areas that they must agree upon or compromise on, so I don't doubt that the two of you can find some common ground, due to your lifestyle here Devon may have to come here more often then you could go to his world but I am sure he could manage" Cathy allowed sincerely, "However the matter might become more complicated if you get pregnant, or have children."

Rama shook her head, "They could travel with me to visit Devon and his family and he could come here to see them whenever he wanted."

"Yes, but how would traveling between worlds affect your pregnancy, for all you know such travel could harm or even kill an unborn child." Cathy stated, "Also you seem to think that Devon would let you have the children here."

"Why wouldn't he? I would be the mother" Rama stated.

"And he would be the father. He would have as much right to have his children visit with him and his family while you are busy at home." Cathy said.

Rama bit at her bottom lip worrying it between her teeth a scowl on her face "I hadn't really thought about that. I mean I just figured that my children would be with me, but they would be Devon's kids too. I can't live there, not while things are so," Rama paused, "unsettled here and Devon would never manage living in the sewers. It would be like taking a wild animal and caging it, he'd survive for a time, but eventually it would kill him because he is use to being free." Rama sniffed and hunched her shoulders.

She had never thought beyond having Devon for a husband, she was sure visiting one another could be worked out, but the thought of adding children to the situation caused problems that might be difficult to overcome.

Even when she had been with Devon, they had never stopped to consider that aspect of their relationship. Though they both knew that the other wanted to have a family, of their own neither of them had stopped to question the other how that would work between them.

Cathy could see her words were taking root in the girl's mind, causing a hint of doubt where none had been before. She reached out placing a reassuring hand on Rama's shoulder.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but I know how you want a family of your own. It is possible you can work something out between you, just like for who visits who. Still such things may cause heated arguments, and there would be children to think of, what is best for them?"

Rama groaned, "I don't know. I guess if I get a hold of Devon I'd have a lot to talk about with him."

"Yes, maybe in the meantime, until you do reach Devon, you might want to consider what you do want out of your relationship with him. Part of finding the right person for you, isn't just finding what appeals to you" Cathy advised, "But also the things that you want out of a relationship."

"I suppose" Rama whispered, her head bowed. "But how do I know what I want?"
"You know what you want Rama." Cathy assured her, "Your heart knows what it desires. If Devon is what you want then you will be able to overcome but if you want something out of a relationship that he can't give you through one reason or another" Cathy smiled, "Even if it is no fault of his own, then you have to decide how important that is to you. Is Devon more important or is the thing he can't give you more valuable?" Cathy sighed, "Once in a while in any relationship we learn that there are certain things we need or want and then we realize that our relationship has changed and doesn't mean what it once did."

Rama shivered and Cathy moved to hug her, "You might love Devon, a part of you may always hold to him, think about him and want to be with him. You might always love him in a secret place of your heart and that is all right."

"But do I have to let him go now?" Rama moaned.

"That is up to you and it is your choice. If you decide to say goodbye to him, even if you can't reach him to tell him you can't go through with it, write a letter to yourself. Write a letter anyways, maybe in writing a letter to Devon you'll be able to define what you want." Cathy suggested, "You may decide to stay with Devon now, but a year or two from now you may change your mind. You must decide when is the right time to say goodbye to Devon because there is always a faint hope that you will see him again and when and if you do, you have to be able to say truthfully that you only let go of him when you knew the time was right." Cathy kissed Rama's cheek.

Rama hugged Cathy tightly she had never considered this things before and now that they were there, lying before her she could not ignore them either, and these revelations changed so much. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, because she did love Devon and yet, what would she have if they remained together.

She recalled Leo saying she would never have what her father and uncles had, if she stayed with Devon and she knew now he was trying to tell her the closeness Cathy and her Aunts shared with their spouses came from the time they spent together helping each other, being there through good and bad times. It was yet another thing to consider because she knew Devon couldn't really be with her in that way.

Cathy knew Rama's sudden silence meant that she was considering her options, Ramiela's tight grip about her waist, confirmation that the girl better understood her choices and the consequences of having Devon for a mate. Cathy caressed Rama's dark hair.

"It is your choice Rama where love is concerned nobody can make you say goodbye until you are ready. If you love him that is fine, if you want to work these things out then there is a chance. This doesn't mean anything is over" Cathy assured her.

Rama glanced up at her "I know' she said, "there is just suddenly a lot of things to think about." Rama mumbled.

"I understand, want to be alone?" Cathy wondered.

Rama shook her head, "No, I don't mind you being here. I know you understand."

It was all she could say to let Cathy know she understood she knew Cathy accepted Devon and the love she felt for him but her step mom was also trying to get her to see everything, not just the moment of being with Devon being his wife and visiting but the things beyond that. It was only further proof of how much Cathy accepted Devon, so the points she had made against him hadn't been truly in opposition of him, or there being together, however they still left Rama wondering what she wanted, and who could best give her what she wanted.

Cathy's talks usually left her with more questions then answers, and this one truly had been no different.

TBC