A/N: Well, it's CHAPTER THREE! Wow! Well, it seems this story is gathering me major ratings (reviews), and I'm GLAD! This story is fun to write, I don't even know why. Anyway, enjoy!Ok, I lied, reviews are at the top (here)! Wow, I got so many.

REVIEWERS! (See, told ya so.)

Legolasina: Hmmm…we'll have to ask Faramir on that. And I've never seen Ghostbusters, either.

Eggo Waffles: I don't know if it was really apple juice. Maybe someone spiked the apple juice! Hey, there's an idea…and I'm glad you like Legolas beating up on Boromir. Or, rather, were amused by it.

Lil Pippin Padfoot: Yeah, I can always see Boromir getting drunk, but it was funny to have Faramir getting drunk off apple juice. Wonder if that's possible.

Trisher Nicole: Hmmm…I don't know. Maybe people in Rohan brew it especially for Middle Earth. And I don't know about the apple juice turning into bourbon or vice-versa.

CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur: That's where I got the idea, too. I was thinking of the Matrix, and well, Elrond's the agent.

The Hobbit Lass: Glad you like the Madame Greenleaf part. I know I liked writing it. Glad you loved
the story, as well.

Alekey the Hobbitelf: Hello, you! Glad you liked the apple juice scandal (the big enjoyment of the whole
thing, it seems. Yep, you can make the theme song for us, if you'd like!

Sorry, my computer is being weird, and if you submitted a review for chap. 2 and it is not here, it will be answered in chap. 4 (freakin' wierd computer!)

(CHAPTER ONE)

Clarienta: Thanks for your compliments.

Trisher Nicole: Ok, Ok, I updated…thanks.

ForeverFaramir: Glad you liked the Aragorn lighting firecrackers. That's fun…I mean, I've never tried it, but I bet it's fun anyway. And the aiming them at people…terror!

CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur: Ok, see there's chapter 2…and this is 3, so there's much more!

Eggo Waffles: Thanks; glad you liked Faramir cursing at Aragorn. Poor guy.

Chapter Three: Meet our Secretary, Elrond…my father-in-law.

In Aragorn's Pimped-out Impala…

"What I want to know, Aragorn, is how on Earth you pimp out an IMPALA!" Boromir yells.

"I'm not CRAZY, I'm just a LITTLE INSANE! RIGHT NOW I DON'T EVEN KNOW MY NAME!" Legolas sings.

"Uh, Legolas, you're singing it wrong." Faramir says. Aragorn sighs and stares out of the window at the car ahead of him.

"Oh, really? Well, then, Mr.…Human…how DO you sing it?" Legolas asks.

"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell, I know, right now you can't tell." Faramir sings.

"Well, that was different. Faramir, in all my years of being your dear—and dearly departed—brother, I never knew you could sing like the guy from Matchbox Twenty." Boromir says.

"Boromir, in all my years of being you brother, I never knew you even knew who Matchbox Twenty WAS! I mean, you were always moping around listening to bands no one in Christendom's even HEARD OF!" Faramir says.

"How on earth did you know the word 'Christendom'?" Boromir, Aragorn, and Legolas ask.

"I read." Faramir says.

"Never was much good at that," Aragorn says.

"Oh, well, I'm a veritable cornucopia of talent!" Faramir says.

"Wait…where have I heard that before?" Legolas says. He rummages into his backpack (which he is still carrying around) and pulls out Van Helsing. "AHA! You're plagiarizing off Carl!" he screams.

"Huh?"

"But I'd swear, Faramir, that friar looks just like you! But with short hair…"

"What on earth is a friar, anyway?"

"Never mind."

They drive on in silence, cruising down the Gap of Rohan Boulevard. Suddenly, Legolas gets an idea.

"Hey, since we're on a Boulevard, can we sing Boulevard of Broken Dreams?" Legolas asks.

"Ok, everyone, just start singing." Aragorn says.

However, everyone starts to sing at different parts of the song and at varied speeds. Legolas is already singing the chorus, while Faramir is singing the beginning and Boromir is already at the end.

"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Aragorn screams.

"What?" Everyone singing asks.

"Well, maybe you should SYNCHRONIZE your singing!" Aragorn screams.

"You mean like synchronized swimming?" Legolas asks. Aragorn whacks him with the road map.

"Hey, if one of them drowns, do they all have to drown?" Boromir asks.

"Uh..."

"Wow. Ok, Faramir, we Gondorian men have naturally good voices—" Boromir starts, but is cut off.

"Naturally good? Boromir, I went to SINGING CLASSES to get this voice! Yours is like…nails on a chalkboard." Faramir says.

"IT IS NOT!"

"Whatever. Can we sing a new song?" Faramir asks.

"Sure, just let's sing something we can rock to. You people singing Matchbox Twenty and Green Day are giving me serious hard rock deprived-ness." Aragorn says.

"Deprived-ness?" Faramir asks.

"Don't you mean deprivation?" Boromir asks.

"Yeah, that too." Aragorn says. "How's this for some rock?" He puts a Led Zeppelin CD into the slot and the Immigrant Song comes on. "Everyone sing!"

So they do.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Legolas screams.

"I come from the land of the ICE AND SNOW from the MIDNIGHT SUN where the HOTSPRINGS FLOW!" Boromir screams.

"The hammer of the Gods will drive our ships to new lands, Valhalla I am coming!" Faramir sings.

"ON WE SWEEP WITH THRESHING OAR, OUR ONLY GOAL WILL BE THE WESTERN SHORE!" All three guys sing, except Aragorn, who is trying to concentrate.

All of the passengers and driver head bang to the beat, looking crazy. Other drivers give them odd looks.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Legolas sings again, very loudly and badly.

"I come from the land of the ICE AND SNOW from the MIDNIGHT SUN where the HOTSPRINGS FLOW!" Boromir screams.

"How soft your fields so green can whisper tales of gore, of how we calmed the tides of war. WE ARE YOUR OVERLORDS!" Faramir says.

"ON WE SWEEP WITH THRESHING OAR, OUR ONLY GOAL WILL BE THE WESTERN SHORE!" All three guys sing, ending the song.

"That was…weird." Aragorn says. The CD keeps playing, everyone just singing at random moments or whenever they know part of the song.

Finally, they arrive at the Lord Elrond bypass, turn off onto Halfelven road, and pull up to Elrond's house on Elrond ROCKS lane.

At Elrond's House…

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Faramir asks. He, Legolas, and Boromir are hiding behind Aragorn. Last time the four of them met Elrond; they had to run for their lives.

"Yeah. I mean, he can't be that bad." Aragorn says nervously.

"You said that last time."

"Oh."

They walk up to the door. Aragorn rings the doorbell nervously and braces himself.

"Whaddaya want?" Elrond asks, opening the door. He has a can of Miller Light in his hand and looks like he can pull out a shotgun any second.

"Uh…. Uh…." Aragorn mutters.

"Well, if you have nothing to say, just go away." Elrond says.

"Hey, that rhymed!" Legolas says.

"Legolas? Hey, man, what are you doing here?" Elrond says cheerfully.

"Uh, would you like to join our service?" Legolas asks.

"Why can't he be so nice to us?" Boromir mutters. Aragorn and Faramir nod in consent.

"What kind of service?" Elrond asks.

"Like, an Orc Killing service." Legolas says.

"Cool! Can I kill stuff?" Elrond asks.

"Uh…actually, Elrond, we were thinking you could be our agent."

"What?"

"You know, walk around and take calls and arrange press conferences."

"Press conferences?"

"Yep! So, do you want in? We have a dental plan…"

"Sweet! I love work where you get money and benefits!" Elrond walks back inside.

"We'll call you with the particulars."

Elrond closes the door and Legolas walks back to the group, smiling.

"How did you bloody do that?" Boromir asks.

"It's all about the Elves."

"Oh, come off it. Now we have to get Gandalf and Denethor—"

"WHAT?" Faramir croaks.

"Well, he's our pyromaniac who will cause needed distractions." Aragorn says.

"WHAT?" Faramir says.

"Ok, little bro, don't faint on me here." Boromir says.

"No way! I want OUT!"

"We don't even have to walk around with him. We can just call him on the phone and he can shooom in and go "MUAHAHA! FIRE!" and then shooom back out!" Legolas says.

"And there you go with your shooom again." Aragorn says.

"It's ELVISH! BE QUIET!" Legolas screams.

Boromir and Faramir laugh.

"Wanna start something?" Legolas asks.

"Uh, like another fight?" Faramir says, trying not to look at Boromir.

"Har har har. You're so funny, Faramir." Boromir says sarcastically.

"I know!" Faramir says.

"It was sarcasm."

"Well, ha ha ha."

"Whatever."

"Can we go home?" Legolas whines.

"Yeah, I want you to get to work on the costumes."

"THEY'RE NOT COSTUMES! THEY'RE UNIFORMS!" Legolas screams.

"What's with this Elrond in leather stuff? Do we all get leather?" Boromir asks.

"Maybe…"

"You don't have a clue, do you?" Aragorn asks Legolas.

"No, not really."

"LEGOLAS!" Aragorn, Boromir, and Faramir yell.

"Next stop, Gandalf." Aragorn says, as they pile into the Impala and drive off.

A/N: So, did you like it? Yes? No? Drop me a line, or, if you didn't like it, drop me a flame, which will be given to my pet Balrog, Tiny.