Chapter 7: A Little Closer

Nighttime found InuYasha lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. One arm was underneath his head, the other was around Kagome. She lay curled up next to him; her head on his chest and her arm around his neck. She was fast asleep and he was having difficulty following her lead.

His emotions were… confusing to say the least. He had admitted to himself a while ago that he cared deeply for Kagome. But these new emotions swirling around his heart were overwhelming him.

He was well aware he was attracted to her. Every time he looked at her, his body reacted in ways that more than testified to this. The way she was dressed, and the close, isolated proximity they had been in lately was causing his youkai blood to stir. More and more it was calling for him to take her, claim her as his. It was getting increasingly harder to fight said urges. He wanted to protect her more than he wanted to take his next breath. We was always wondering what was on her mind. He never asked her, but he always felt he needed to know her opinion in every situation.

What did this all mean? He couldn't possibly be… no… he never felt this way with Kikyo, and he was sure he was in love with her… wasn't he?

InuYasha glanced down at the girl in his arms. He brushed the hair away from her face gently. Watching her dark lashes flutter against her light skin and her cherry lips pout ever so lightly, he realized that he had memorized her face a long time ago.

What would it be like if Kikyo was gone for good? If I were to never see her again?

Oddly enough, not only was he not disturbed by this thought, he felt peace about it. A calming… rightness about it soothed his heart.

What about Kagome? What if Kagome left forever?

The pain that gripped his heart startled him. It was unbearable.

But that will happen one day, won't it? As soon as the jewel is complete and Naraku is dead, she'll leave. She's going to go home, go on with her life and forget all about me.

InuYasha almost felt like crying, the pain was too great.

Holy crap, I love her. I do, I really love her. How the hell am I supposed to get her to stay? Would she even want to? I'm sure she hates me.

At that moment, random captions from the years flitter across his mind. Occasions all too frequent where he treated her with contempt, disregard, spite and anger.

I don't deserve her.

……………………………………………………………

Kagome woke the next morning once again enveloped in soft comforting warmth. Trying to resist the nagging pull of consciousness and sunlight at her mind and body, she snuggled deeper into InuYasha's embrace. She blushed and her eyes snapped open when she realized exactly what it was she was "snuggling" up against.

With her arms wrapped around his torso, her face was pressed against his chest, and she could feel the hard form of his muscles, even through his robes. She could smell the musky earthen scent that was uniquely him. She also noted that his leg was once again locked around her legs. With his arms around her, keeping her firmly pressed against him, and his chin resting on her head, he was literally completely wrapped around her, effectively trapping her within his embrace.

A thrill ran through her at this thought. She felt warm, safe, protected; loved.

Loved? InuYasha doesn't love me. He loves…

"Kikyo…"

Kagome froze at the utterance of the name. InuYasha's hold on her tightened and he shifted, moving his arms lower down her back to encircle her waist and press her belly against his; his nose burying in her hair by her temple.

Holy crap, he's still asleep! …Is he dreaming about Kikyo? He's dreaming about Kikyo while holding me!

"My… Kagome…"

Kagome's steadily darkening expression froze, her eyebrow lifting in curious contemplation.

Ok, now I'm totally confused…

"InuYasha?"

Kagome's voice was a barely audible squeak, but it was enough to wake the slumbering hanyou. His eyes popping open, he realized the situation he was in. Pulling back a bit to look at Kagome, he tried to play off his embarrassment like nothing was amiss, though he couldn't hide his flaming blush.

"Did… uh, did you sleep ok? Were you warm enough?"

"InuYasha."

Kagome knew what he was trying to pull, but decided the silence about this particular subject had gone on long enough. Her heart couldn't take this crazy roller coaster anymore. She had to know his feelings, emotionally; for she could feel his physical "feelings" quite firmly against her thigh. No matter how much it was going to hurt, she had to know once and for all her place in his heart.

"InuYasha… what's going on? You've been acting so strange lately and I'm concerned. Dazing off into space when I'm talking to you, avoiding me all day, and then at night… well, I just want to know if everything is… ok."

InuYasha looked into the eyes of the girl in his arms. He knew this conversation was coming, but he had hoped he would've had more time to figure out what to say. He knew now that he was in love with Kagome, but could he really tell her that?

"I… uh, it's just…"

InuYasha was embarrassed and nervous, and when he's embarrassed and nervous, he gets irrational and grumpy.

"It's nothing you can help me with, wench."

InuYasha cringed. That's not how he had wanted that to come out. Kagome sat up and eyed InuYasha flatly.

"Look InuYasha, I know you only keep me around because I'm a shard detector and a living picture of Kikyo, but I still think I deserve to know what's going on."

Kagome didn't mean to be so harsh, but her frustration was mounting.

InuYasha sat up too, his face turned serious and his mouth formed a hard line.

"You're not Kikyo. You're nothing like her."

Kagome's eyes brimmed with tears. Why did he have to bring her up? Why did everyone always have to bring her up? Would the comparisons ever end?

"I know that, ok? Don't you think I know that by now? Gods you only tell me every time I screw up. I'm slow, weak, stupid, and emotional; I know these things. I know I mess up a lot, but I'm trying."

"That's not what I…"

InuYasha raked his hand through his hair. It seemed the more he tried to say what he meant, the more it came out wrong.

"Look, I'm just a worthless hanyou, ok? I don't want you having anything to do with me; you'll just get hurt."

The tears flowed freely with that one. Kagome turned away from him, no longer able to face the anger in his eyes.

"Because I'm weak, right? I'm just a pathetic human who can't do anything right. I can't even get a 'worthless hanyou' to fall in love with me. Kikyo wins again."

Kagome got up at that point and left the room. InuYasha sat stunned.

Did she just say… no, I had to have heard her wrong… but…Damn it, what the hell am I doing still sitting here?

InuYasha sprung to his feet and ran after Kagome.

…………………………………………………………………………..

A Cliff hanger! Muahahahaha!

Ahahahahah!

Ah hahaha ack!

cough

hack

wheeze

Hairball…

Don't worry; I won't leave you hanging for long.

Oh and on the last chapter, I made an author's note about calling Rin, Kagome. He he, that was supposed to be on my other story.